Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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Peggy,
You have the most loving arms! Your kindness shines through every day!
I am doing ok, today is half way through radiation (yay!!). It been a bit more difficult than I expected eurh skin issues starting much earlier than predicted, but it's all downhill from here!
Gig hugs back at you!
-Midgie
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Molly50...I'd bet someone on the July SurgerySisters thread could answer your question about the drain and bra. More hugs here!
Congrats on reaching the halfway mark Midge!
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Tgey didn't send me home with a bra and my bra isn't comfortable over the drain. BS ended up taking more than anticipated so I will have a bigger divot.
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Midgie, thank you for the kind words! I'm sorry you're having issues from the radiation. Keep putting all that stuff on the irritated site, cotton close to the skin. Some ladies found that wearing a men's undershirt under their bra worked nicely. It prevented the lotion/creme/salve from getting on their bras and clothes as well as being gentle against their skin. I went braless almost all the time. You might consider it if you are able to go that way - I'm totally lacking in the boob department and don't need support.
Hang in there. The end is in sight! Remember why you are doing this - to KILL CANCER!!!
More gentle HUGS!
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Thank you, everyone! It's so great to have people to talk to......
and now I have ANOTHER issue. Called my stepmom who lives in CA with the news - she asked if I want her to come out for my LX. I told her that was sweet, but she didn't need to come clear out here. My sister in FL wants to know if I want HER to come for my surgery. I gave her the same answer. My mom is gone, so I had already called one of her sisters to ask about family BC history, heard from another aunt that they weren't planning on asking - they were just going to drive from TX to be with me for surgery.
I HATE housecleaning. My husband has been "remodeling" our house since before we were married, and that will be 25 years next week. Last week he took out a window in the bathroom - he's replacing it with a bigger one, so he had to cut through the exterior wall, and there's plaster dust everywhere. He cleaned it up - to HIS standards, which are even lower than mine. Our dog sheds more than any dog I've ever seen in my life. I could vacuum everyday and not get it all.......but I don't.
Having the aunts come out for the surgery is going to be more stressful than the surgery itself. We have one spare bed, and it's upstairs. One of the aunts has neurological issues and I'm not sure she could even handle the stairs. I'd have to think about cleaning for them, feeding them, and entertaining them. I've already downloaded 3 new books to my kindle -- I'm hoping to veg on the couch and READ after my surgery!
Darn it, I shouldn't have to stress over the nicest way to tell them I don't want them to come, should I?? Yes, I'm going to clean before the LX, but not COMPANY clean! It's just frustrating, and I'm just venting. Anybody else have to deal with this? What did you do?
thanks......AGAIN! Are you tired of my whining yet?
Kathy
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Hi Peculiargirl:
My advice: paste a picture of Nancy Reagan above your phone and computer and JUST SAY NO! (sorry, am I dating/aging myself with that remark? Just realized that some of you younger ladies might not get the joke.. :-))
Yes, I just dealt with a similar issue: there is a big family wedding coming up in a town about four hours drive from here. All of my extended family will be there and I am very grateful and excited that I will be healed from surgery and not yet on other treatment and able to go (wedding is in a bit over a week). However, several relatives who live elsewhere asked about coming to visit me on the way to or from the wedding, either because my house was a convenient half way point to the wedding or in one case because they were coming quite a distance and figured they'd visit me while in this part of the world.
I thought about it, realized the house would be a mess because I am not supposed to be cleaning yet (hey, it's doctor's orders :-)) and like you, have a hubby with even lower standards than mine. We have plenty of room, it just isn't a good time to visit.
So I just explained that. Do what I did: say it is Doctor's orders. I told them I was looking forward to seeing them at the wedding but that was all I could handle right now. Tell them you have someone to care for you right afterwards and the doc has asked you NOT to have other visitors just yet but you will call or email to update them and look forward to a visit when you are able. Tell a white lie if need be; pretend I am your doctor and told you this (my bs told me specifically that I was NOT to do ANY cleaning or cooking for two weeks. Bless her). Give them alternative ways to help if they'd like: the best help I got was just cards and emails wishing me well, and my daughter sent one of those edible fruit arrangements and some chocolate, home delivered, and it disappeared in a hurry....If they don't get the hint, tell hubby to call and say, NO VISITORS, we will let you know when it works to have you but I know a card would be appreciated!
Reading and vegging on the couch are what you should do.
XOX and hugs
Dr. Octo
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by the way, we are staying in a hotel for several nights before and after the wedding, planning to hang with my kids and grandkids who will be there for the wedding, and then stopping on the way home in San Francisco for a day and night to take in a ball game with my son and his GF...since they are two of the people coming from a distance to be at the wedding (son lives on the East Coast). THAT I am happy about: it will be sort of a mini-vacation, but of a non-stressful sort. I will see my kids and other relatives but be able to escape to hotel rooms that are lovely and that I don't need to clean! :-) We even picked a hotel with kitchen and DD and Son's GF have said they will cook dinner if I don't feel like going out.
On a related note, since I live quite a distance from the hospital where I had my surgery, we got a hotel room the night before and night after. That turned out to be a great decision. Didn't need to to drive after surgery (hotel was a mile from hospital), and it was lovely to rest in a clean, quiet room that someone else cleaned :-) and have hubby bring me takeout. Plus, the hotel had a great pool and since I love to swim, I was thrilled to be able to swim and hang in the hot tub the night before surgery, since that is off limits for a bit now...
Your mileage may vary, but the point is: you need to heal. Let it be all about you!
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Oh, Octogirl, that sounds WONDERFUL!! Sounds like a great non-stressful mini-vacation, and at just the right time! Have a great time!!
Huh - we live 30 mins from the hospital. I wonder if I could talk my hubby into staying in a hotel with a pool the night before surgery. Would be fun!
Thanks for your advice, DOCTOR Octogirl! That's what I'm going to tell the aunts.
Kathy
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peculiargirl, yay for you for following doc's orders :-)
If cost isn't a big issue, I highly recommend the hotel the night before....(and the night after: I know some people want the comfort of their own home, for me it worked out really well and was totally worth every penny. I do live 60 miles from hospital, and even two days later the drive home wasn't much fun...)
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PeculiarGirl, I second Octogirl's advice. Absolutely do NOT have company. I was lucky that my kids could come and stay with me and it wasn't stressful. Since I rarely see them it was a treat. My DIL loves to clean (why doesn't she live nearby?) and cook and handled that while she was here. The boys were wonderful about taking over DH's care. For me it was not stressful. Maybe at 70 I've gotten to the "take me as I am" point! Cleaning is overrated anyway.
Just SAY NO!
HUGS!!!
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Octogirl, of course, I remember JUST SAY NO (which worked better for things other than drugs). But then I'm lots older than you - 70. Your advice is good.
HUGS!
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Peg...oh yes, definitely better for things other than drugs. Besides, at this point in my life I'll take the drugs, if I need them! :-)
But today, no need, I am feeling good. You are such a great de-facto, if not fearless, leader for all of us Lx sisters. Hugs back at you!
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Glad you're feeling good today, Octogirl! Thank you for the kind words - I can't tell you how much I appreciate them!
HUGS!
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My surgery was 20 days ago. I can't shave around that incision under the arm yet but does anyone know if Nair is okay to use?
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The Lounge has been so busy lately! I was having some health problems (non-cancer) that kept me away for the last few days. So much to catch up on.
Just say no, firmly and frequently. My mother in law wanted to come and help me after lx, but she is very needy and noisy and nosey and would have been more work for me. She finally accepted "no" and now describes it as my "need for privacy". I don't care what she called it, but am glad to have had the time I needed to heal... with my Kindle and my DH and kids.
Regarding the surgical glue: I'm allergic to it. If after 7-10 days, the dermabond is pulling or restricting your movement you can soften it with baby oil, hair conditioner, etc and gently remove any loose glue. If it's extremely sore, hot, red or has white bumps, you might be allergic to the glue or have an infection.
Regarding valium or Ativan before surgery: my center wouldn't let me have any. They said they want the patient completely "there" before surgery to give consent, ask questions and so on.
My surgery day was a nightmare. I had the nuclear injection in one building, drove to another building for the wire localization (I actually screamed during the mammo part of this process. I was sooo sore) and walked in a gown with 4 wires sticking out of my boob to another building. While waiting hours for my surgery, the guy beyond the next curtain was carrying on about how he was changing his mind about his surgery, loudly. I wasn't unsympathetic, but after 4 hours his minor surgery wasn't something I wanted to think about. When they were ready to take me to the ER, the fire alarm went off. Within 10 minutes, we were told to evacuate the building. My DH was evacuated out the front, I was rolled out the back. Firemen everywhere. (That was nice. ;-) ) It was a day!!!! I had a horrible reaction to the anesthesia and had to be hospitalized; not on a surgical recovery floor, but to an intensive care unit. Good thing my DH was there, because they tried to remove my surgical breast binder. It took them 12 hours to get me stabilized. My three kids were home by themselves. The oldest was 16, but we didn't want to leave them home alone over night. Whew, haven't thought about that for a while.
On my 27th anniversary, I got my genetic testing results. My 50th birthday was spent recovering from surgery and coming to terms with having chemo.
I think the people on the board are the only people who understand all of these things.
Regarding essential oils: I just want to warn anyone with ER+/PR+ BC that lavender and tea tree oils should not be used. They have hormone like effects similar to estrogen.
The therapist I saw yesterday to help restore my shoulder movement (I did all the exercises. I had a big surgery, with long scars.) said I should massage the scar tissue under my breasts to make it softer; then in will "release" and my breasts will drop a little. Not sure I want to do this. I kind of like where they are now! ;-)
If any Cal girls want to get together, we can plan something!
Hugs everyone!
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KYPhoto, wouldn't use Nair. I think you'll die if it gets into the incision. After a year I find that sweat (combined with Sensitive Dove deodorant) can be annoying to that area. My incision isn't open - just really sensitive. I shaved my underarm 33 days after my surgery (I just went back over my diary). I'm lucky that I don't have much hair under my arm. I think it tailed off when I hit menopause (what's wrong with it disappearing on my legs, I ask you?). So don't push things yet on the shaving.
HUGS!!!
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I agree Peggy.
What is up with the leg and armpit hair? I have about 5 hairs on each leg and one pit has 2 hairs, the other none.
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Poppy, I'm so sorry that you haven't been 100%. That's discouraging. But glad you're improving.
The valium dose I was given prior to surgery was small. I was certainly "there." But the edge was removed. I think it is SOP for the center. You had such a rotten experience, I can't begin to imagine (write a movie!). Everything was self-contained for me. I walked upstairs to get my wires and wasn't too shaky to walk down. The nuclear injection was given in the little room I had been assigned to and was done by the BS (she is soooo gentle). I don't understand having to run around the country to get it all done. Obviously I was very lucky to choose this center (only because it was close to home and good, not well-publicized).
I agree that it takes someone who has walked this walk to really understand. I know I didn't "get" it. I hope you manage a get together of CA gals or those who would like to be!!! We have a wonderful time with our Michigan ones. It's nice to talk about some of the gross things that have happened and nobody blinks an eye!
Take care!!
HUGS!!!
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Poppy, I can't see (and don't look at) my armpits. I assume there's SOMETHING there. I didn't have chemo so know that isn't the cause. I find I'm still recovering feeling in my bad armpit. Getting closer to normal. For a long time I worried about cutting myself because I couldn't feel. Nerves are a pain! I have hair on my legs - pooh!
HUGS!
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PoppyK,
Thanks for the heads up about some of the essential oils. I would never have thought they could impact a breast cancer diagnosis.
Wow! What a story you will have to tell your grandkids someday! I would never have thought it unless I heard it here first. LOL!0 -
Peculiargirl - I don't think I've posted on here but you can see how far out I am from LX. Just a forewarning that I did not get. The Betadine presurgical scrub I had stained the washcloths I used. Not wanting you to get a charge from your hotel. Could just take your own. I had to do night b4 and morning of. Though all in all the hotel idea sounds very nice. Another thing I did was to board the dog for a couple of days. She's a smallish terrier but a jumper and I did not want to be fending her off esp. with me on the couch.
I have a small family so no trouble with that. But did have 3 friends drive out with meals that I was not expecting. I worked the Monday b4 my surgery (hospice nurse) and got no sleep getting that paperwork in on time. (I enjoyed the anesthesia and post anesthesia dozing lol) Needless to say my house was far from spotless. I did have DD here so she did a bit of spot cleaning but mostly what was there was there. Good luck and I love the doctors' orders idea.
Yup Poppy I had no pre-meds either. Nothing offered and I didn't even ask. My surgical glue stuck like iron so much so I placed a call to RO to see if it would interfere with rads. I did the baby oil gel/aloe to finally get it off. I think menopause and Femara are related to the hair decrease but I sure wish it would decrease rather than increase my chin/upper lip hair lol. I have a few curly hairs on rad side that I really have to work at getting.
and whoever on here had to catch the bus after the wire loc I really applaud you. I was only in a w/c in the mammo center attached and hated that enough. Plenty of weird looks from the well dressed ladies.
There are some - I may get this wrong since I'm not a CA person - from the Inland Empire that get together. I don't think they've done any recently though. Search thru get togethers thread.
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Luvmygoats. I didn't board our pogo-girl jumping terrier. She only jumps for treats! Even after a year, though, I still prefer that my 13 lb kitty not walk on my beleaguered breast - which she does when she has decided it is time to get up (my wishes in this matter are of no account).
I didn't run into any well-dressed ladies getting my wires. Staff seemed to be very good at sheltering me.
BTW, I'm quite positive that I have dust hanging around from a year ago
HUGS!
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Hi Ladies!
Returned fro the MO and the path report said clear margins and negative node involvement! YAY! But now I am second guessing myself! The MO didn't feel that an Oncotype was necessary because the tumor was 95% ER positive and 95% PR positive. I know that the test is expensive. She was confident that it would come back with a score of 4-7. What do you think? To order or not. That is the question for me!
Thanks for all of your kind words!0 -
so just an alternative perspective on having people around. My mom and dad came to see me. They stayed in a hotel when they came, so that they were not "in the way". My nanny was also around. ( I have a 3yo and an 8yo). My parents are low maintenance, and they were so worried about me. They turned out to be extremely helpful. My mom cleaned the house, my dad brought me starbucks each morning and grabbed take out which my mom served and then mom cleaned up the dishes. The nanny helped to take care of the kids and I was treated like a princess and just rested. My mom was the one who took off my surgical dressing and held me when I cried my eyes out looking at the incision. I didn't want my husband to do it.
My only point is that if you know you have the right people, who are there to support you, it can make all the difference in the world.
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Woo-Hoo 123JustMe -- congratulations on the clear margins and neg node involvement!! GREAT news!
Kathy
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123JustMe, the Oncotype test IS expensive. Sometimes it is covered by insurance. My Medicare insurance covered it. It's a hard call. On the one hand you've got an MO who says you don't need it and on the other your desire to make damn sure you don't need chemo. If I recall correctly, I requested the Oncotype test and everyone thought that was fine.
In your case, with your MO being so positive (and he's the one who would do the chemo), I think I'd lean towards going with him. But if you feel strongly, go for getting it done. See if your insurance will cover it and/or what your copay might be.
But happy, happy on the clear margins and nodes. That's HUGE!!!!
Argh, decisions suck.
HUGS!!!
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So true, Tresjoli2!!
HUGS!
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123Justme, Congratulations! great news! what a relief for you! I will be following closely your decision on the oncotype test. My BS pre surgery had mentioned if there were no surprises she felt my MO also might not order the oncotype test. My biopsy path was exactly the same as you - with the same ER/PR positivity , size and grade. So, I am gearing up for that discussion with my MO Monday if my final path holds true. How persuasive was your MO? will your insurance pay? let us know
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123, Congrats on clean margins and neg nodes! I asked for the Oncotype Dx test because I wanted as much info as possible. My DH called the company that does the testing and my insurance co. Within a couple of phone calls, it was all worked out. I paid a relatively small amount for the test.
Regarding after surgery help: My daddy and his wife were a blessing to me. Kathy asked me "is there anything at all I can do for you before you start chemo?" And she meant it. She would have cleaned, organized anything for me. My daddy just wanted to see me, let me rest, make any thing easy for me. There are people who truly help and those who make more work and add to your stress. Do what is best for you.
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PoppyK and Tresjoli2, celebrate the wonderful people in your lives!! I'm sorry I was whining - I love my family, but we're kind of a strange bunch.
My sis has offered to come but she just started a new job and I don't want to add to her stress level. My mom died of ALS 24 years ago. My aunt was SUCH a blessing. I'm not sure how we would've managed without her. I guess probably the whole stress of having family come is all on me, not on them. huh - I never thought about sending the dog to the kennel for a few days. He's bigger and not much of a jumper, so I THINK we'll be OK, but I guess that's something I should consider.
You guys are the best!
Kathy
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