Weigh in: What are the best and worst gifts for people with breast cancer?
If you've been diagnosed with breast cancer, what were some of the most meaningful gifts you received, whether material or non-material? Were there any gifts or offers that weren’t helpful? And if you're a caregiver, what gifts or gestures have you given that seemed especially appreciated? Share your suggestions and experiences below!
Comments
-
BEST: A knotted prayer quilt made by a cousin's quilting group at their church. The quilters sew random knots of thread on the blanket after saying a prayer for me. I take this with me to chemo. It's so comforting knowing so many prayers are being said for me.
WORST: False eyelashes in a "care kit". I have never worn false eyelashes. I don't even wear mascara. Just because I might lose my eyelashes undergoing chemotherapy, does not mean that I want to replace them with super long fake ones. Picture me…no hair, thinning eyebrows, but SUPER long lashes. Yeah…no one will ever suspect.
0 -
@beekaycro24 what a lovely gift, a knotted prayer quilt! Thank you for sharing. Beautiful!
And lol re. the false eyelashes! Guess it's the thought that counts 😄0 -
My breast surgeon was a woman who made hand-made card for her patients and gave me one when I was going in. I received many cards from friends and DH put up a bulletin board to post them so I could seem them from the bed since I spent a lot time there during recovery. Still have all those and they mean a lot to me.
worst gift was a book given to me from a co-worker who did not read it I guess written by someone who had BC and actually died and her family published after she died and then donated money I guess to research or something. Not helpful to find out as you are reading it and then to find out as they added stuff showing her progression and she died as you are just starting this and trying to keep a good thoughts about survival.
1 -
I am newly diagnosed with breast cancer, but 6 months ago, just as my sister was starting Chemo, My brother and his wife arrived at her house and did a thorough cleaning and disinfecting of the house. It was such an unselfish act of kindness, but the thought and effort that went into it lasts. I only just found out they did this when I recently disclosed my cancer. They called me and offered their services prior to Chemo. The only reason they told me was to convince me to accept their help. How wonderfully thoughtful.
1 -
I love this question and have enjoyed remembering the thoughtful ways that my friends and family showed kindness when I was going through treatment. Ultimately, I think the best thing for me was how one friend and her partner prepared more than a week’s worth of homemade frozen meals, with a salad and dessert thrown in, which was such a help to me and my caregivers. Eliminating or limiting the effort of decision-making was a great lift. I tear up thinking of the kindness and the effort. I have also adopted use of an eye mask that was part of a care package, and a new friend lent me her pajama top with drain pockets. Truly, I loved flowers and cards, too, and having friends stop by to visit after the first week or so. Since I live alone, I was so grateful to a friend who took me grocery shopping and carried my bags post-surgery, and who joined me for a walk around the block. The experience has taught me how to be a supportive friend and family member; I learned so much and hope to be a better friend in the future.
As for worst, I would say to stay away from things that encourage heating (a friend gave me stuffed animal that can be microwaved for warm soothing) or chilling for post-surgery, since my doctors discouraged both warmth and icepacks on my newly numbed chest. And if you’re not very familiar with one’s size, maybe hold off on buying/sending clothing items.
0 -
Best gift? Probably a bag my adult daughter and her roommate (who had a childhood cancer, so she knew what it was like) put together for me to take to chemo with me. They packed it with handy things, like a comfie blanket, some suckers, scentless lotion, a coloring book and crayons, and other things to help me get through treatment. It was incredibly thoughtful.
The worst gift? My brother gave me a book a woman had written about her experiences with an entirely different form of cancer. She was at a very different stage of life, and it was just not helpful to me. And who wants to read about cancer when they are living with it?
1 -
Best gift- my neighbors brought a bunch of home-made desserts for my kids to help lighten the mood post BMX. I had suggested it when they asked what they could do to help.
Worst gift- books (I was not in right mindset after BMX to read fiction)
1 -
Most appreciated gift was prepared meals from my book club ladies. Each one of them prepared a fresh meal for the day for the first fortnight after surgery. I can’t put into words how helpful this was for my mom and I.
my most beloved gifts were hand knitted caps for the winter months without hair from one dear childhood friend and the ultra soft inspirational blanket from another classmate. These two same childhood friends and a third one have schemed to make a trip with me back to where we met and became lifelong buddies…Stavanger, Norway. I’ll be off the Verzenio and rebuilding strength for 6 months before our trip. We will be meeting three more classmates who still live on that side of the pond! It’s an amazing bucket list gift to me! I love these ladies!I honestly can’t think of a “bad” gift. Even the “you are strong! You’ll beat this!” statements were meant with the best of intentions even if they aren’t “helpful”.
1
