Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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I posted this on a couple other boards but I wanted to share it here with you gals as well. Someone told me i should write down my story.. So this is the first I have written. This actually did happen to me in August- I wanted to cry at the time but now I can laugh and its a lesson to be learned that sometimes you have to laugh through your tears.. My sister nearly fell off her chair when I told her this story the evening when I called her when I got home. She said she was sorry for laughing- and crying -- but that it was just too funny and if something is gonna happen - it would happen to me .. I have all the luck or not!! So since I have been rather weepy lately and grumpy and a few others with me- I thought you all could laugh WITH ME...
Oh my clinic definitely must think I am some kind of hysterical freak. I went to have a pap had not had one in 5 years, because my GP passed away and I just never wanted to have the new GP give me one (I am extremely conservative) So after I was diagnosed with breast cancer I thought I best have one- so it took all I could do (I so HATE paps) to go to the clinic. I anxiously waited a half hour in the regular waiting room.
I finally get called back and put into an examining room- gown on- boobs poking out the front- I have to re-dress to hunt down a nurse for an adult size gown. Shamoo himself could have fit into the gown I got. But boobs covered OK- all set.
I wait and wait and wait- 45 more minutes goes by- no magazines-no books, only thing to look at is the tray of contraptions, which my eyes are riveted to, that will soon be used in my HOO HAA. I was not too thrilled to be looking at them in such great detail! Some of the tools I would look at and think WTH is that for??
Finally after all this time I cannot stand it anymore and I remember a bathroom next door, so Shamoo gown wrapped around me 3 times, I head next door to the bathroom. A little while later, I open the bathroom door only to hear the nurses say-" Let’s go straighten up room 7. I hurry back next door and LOW AND BEHOLD I am room 7!!
The nurse finds me in room 7 a few min later and says- "whaaa- you are still here?" I said yes and my panic and anxiety are in over drive by this point!!! I say, “I am just leaving.”
My appointment was at 3:45 and it is now 5:00 and I still need to go to the lab for my blood work and I figure the lab is closing at 5. So I proceed to tell the nurse she can clean up the room as I am leaving anyway as soon as I can get dressed. The nurse grabs me by the arm puts her other arm across my shoulders will not let me dress or leave and says real close to my face, I feel like I am a 90 year old crazy deaf lady-- “You have cancer. You need this pap. I promise you he will be quick, I won't leave you, you cannot leave, and you have to get this done. Let’s get you on the table.” She is acting like I am scared of the doctor and a lunatic to boot!!
I am not scared of the doctor. I just do not want to be naked anymore and I don’t want my HOO HAAA subjected to any of those torture devices that I had been staring at all this time!! Plus I really did not want to miss going to lab for my blood tests. I did not tell her this though. She was too busy trying to keep me from running out the door Shamoo gown and all, I was to that point!
Meanwhile the doctor walks in with a baffled look on his face wondering, I am sure, what all the commotion is about, and she slams the door practically in his face and says, "We are having a little anxiety problem here, it will be ok soon, come back later”. At this moment I wanted nothing more than to be gone. I told that nurse over and over but she insisted lab would wait for me and this would soon be done.
Finally she talks me into sitting on the torture (in my mind it is) table- puts my butt on the very edge- feet in the stirrups puts the table up to highest position ( I guess she felt I would not jump off it when it was far in the air) and covers my legs with a blanket- but I am certain my HOO HAA is feeling a breeze.. Nurse says" Let me grab the Doctor-I will be right back."
I wait and wait and wait - thinking OMG the janitor is going to walk in at any moment and get the full view of my Hoo Haaa-- 15 minutes goes by, my back cannot handle those stirrups anymore and I pull my tush slowly up to the top of the table crab walking as I go so I can get my legs out of those stirrups!! I thought to myself, what happens if I fall off this table with my Hoo Haa in the air? Will this Shamoo gown cover it all?
I am sitting there when the nurse comes in again- she says “Oh, you were not comfortable?" I wanted to say YA THINK?? Hoo Haaa in the breeze with my legs apart- how comfy is this - U have to ask? But nice me stays silent. She said." Well I cannot find the doctor but when I do we will be right in" ( I figured he ran for the hills after the conversation he had come across earlier) .
I then sat there seriously debating how to dive off the table without tripping over the Shamoo gown when the Doctor kind of squeamishly does finally come back in. I will say he was quick!!- I heard him say something to the effect that " He only had one chance at this so he best do it right" Then he was ready to run out the door and he decided last minute to check my ovaries and the nurse - said-- Aren’t U going to do her breast exam?
I had just that very day told that nurse I had just recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and had been examined the last three weeks by every mammogram, ultra sound, doctor and intern out there and that I DID NOT need another breast exam! I proceeded to tell her again and the doctor just that. The doctor said. "She is fine" and this time did run out the door!
My girlfriend said he usually talks to her while wearing the gown but he came back after I was fully dressed and we had a chat where he stayed far across the room. I must have appeared like I would bolt out the door if he came close to me. I asked if I could have some Ativan for anxiety and
before I could get the words all the way out of my mouth he had prescription pad in hand writing out a large dosage.
I never did tell him I had been forgotten in a room and then left in the stirrups. I probably should have, but by that time it was near 5:30 and I still needed lab work.
My appointment that day was 3:45 and I got out of the clinic at nearly 6 pm. I do not know if I can ever muster up enough courage to go through all that again!!
So I can imagine what that clinic must think of me- They must think " How did she ever birth two children when she acts like a 16 year old virgin getting her first pap!!"
So yup- when it comes to clinics thinking I am nuts- I think I rank right up there!!
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Hi, lisacm - welcome, sorry you have to be here, but I know you'll find this a caring and supportive community. As you can see from my profile, below, I was diagnosed with synchronous bilateral breast cancer (both sides at the same time, different cancers). I have/had ILC and LCIS in my left breast and IDC in my right. It was a very difficult decision about whether to have lumpectomies or bilateral mastectomies. I felt like, as soon as my second biopsy revealed the cancer in my right breast as well as my left, my surgeon immediately switched from having a lot of confidence in performing one lumpectomy on the left, to strongly suggesting I have bilateral mastectomies. It was really hard to come to the decision to have lumpectomies in the face of this bilateral cancer, but that's what I did. In my experience, the reason many women have LX first and then have MX right after is because the surgeon did not get clear margins with the lumpectomy. Sometimes when the pathology report after surgery reveals that there are still cancer cells in the area where the tumor was removed via lumpectomy, some women will opt to have another lumpectomy in the same area. Others will say, "Enough already" and instead, choose to have the whole breast removed. It is a very personal decision. As I said, I was mentally preparing myself for bmx after finding the other cancerous area in my other breast, but when my second opinion surgeon at a large cancer center walked in the exam room and confidently told me I was still a candidate for lumpectomies, I took him at his word and went with them. I knew I could start there and then, if I felt uncomfortable with just lumpectomies, I could always opt for mastectomies later. But if I had MX first, I could never go back. As it turned out, my breast cancer surgeon (as opposed to a general surgeon) got all of the cancer out (clear margins) and I had clear lymph nodes also. It sounds like you're very early in your process. You're doing the absolute right thing by asking questions. If you're interested, I will post a list of considerations here when choosing between lumpectomy and mastectomy. It is written by one of our members, Beesie. It was very helpful to me when making my decision. Hang in there. This is the worst part for many of us - the part between diagnosis and choosing which surgical option to have. It will get better. You will sleep again. There is hope, and a lot of it, especially since it sounds as if you might be early stage, small tumor. Knowing your prognostic indicators (i.e., hormone receptor status, tumor size, level of aggression, etc.) will really help in your decision-making process. HUGS. PM me if you would like to discuss further.0 -
I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. OMG. Now we all know - never wait more than 20 minutes without making sure no-one has forgotten you!
Thank you for sharing that ndgrrl - I hope the trauma goes and only the humor remains.
Hugs.0 -
So happy for you STAR!
lisacm - I have wonder the same thing. I have noted LX followed by MX. Can someone shed some light on this subject?0 -
lisacm, in my case they found invasive tumors in the tissue removed during my lumpectom(ies) and left side reduction. So I went back shortly after for a bmx. If the original dcis had been removed and clear margins I would have stayed with that, and radiation. So glad they found the tumors tho, even one on left side they hadnt even been looking at.0 -
Aaaw shucks!
I have been having trouble telling people I have cancer. My family know but when I meet people I haven't seen for a while I don't quite know how to say it.
How are you? I have cancer. It seems so rude to me. :-) Like I am breaking the rules by not answering - Fine thanks.
I actually got all upset about it - enough to cry and get panicky - when my husband announced happily we had been invited over to some friends we haven't seen for a few months.
Luckily I had the sense to tell DH what I was feeling and he thought about it and suggested I say - I am being treated for breast cancer.
So feeling calmer we headed off to meet our friends. Sooner after arriving at their apartment I had a chance to tell the wife and it was really ok. She reacted with concern for me and behaved very well (I am sure I would have been and still might be one of those idiots who just doesn't know what to say besides for O SHIT).
When we were leaving the wife told me she hopes everything will work out well and that I will return to 100% health. The husband asked "What's wrong?" and I told him.
He took 2 big steps over to me and gave me a huge bear hug! I have mentioned that I am not a touchy feely person and in some ways the old me found the hug a bit of an invasion of my personal space (don't worry I got over it) but I thought it was the most beautiful way anyone could respond!
So here is a shout-out to two of the good guys - my husband and his friend.
Hugs to all0 -
Thank you for responding. I know that I am ER+ PR+ her2- on the left. The suspicious spot on the right breast hasn't been bx yet. That happens Wednesday. I'm hoping its nothing. It was so small they couldn't find it on ultrasound to bx it that way. I read Beesie's post. I am just trying to wrap my head around this diagnosis. The breast surgeon said I have a 17% risk of recurrence with lumpectomy vs 3% with MX. Statistically, there was an 88% chance I wouldn't have gotten breast cancer in the first place. So, stats mean nothing to me at this point.i think it may come down to how much uncertainty can I live with. This freaking dx has just invaded my whole life and I'm sick of it already! it's only been 6 weeks since I found my lump. I'm impatient. Lol. with that being said, I have no desire to have a radical major surgery because of fear. I am trying to make an informed decision. I will know more after my right breast BX. I really love this site. I have gotten a lot of support just reading about everyone else's experiences. My breast surgeon recommended it to me and I'm going to thank him at my next visit.0 -
Lisa, I had a lumpectomy on Aug. 19... I asked my surgeon which was the best for me. A lumpectomy or a masectomy- He told me if I was willing to do radiation( I did the internal contura balloon for 5 days) that my reaccurance rate would be the same if I did masectomy with no radiation or lumpectomy with radiation.
Patience is a very hard thing. I know the waiting is sooo hard.. I also know how being told you have cancer can overrun your life- it seems I have did nothing but drive the 2 hours to the cancer center since then and it is finally slowing down. I still fear the unknown of what will happen in the future. I also have a spot ( a complex) cyst in the same breast the cancer was removed out on- I found out that they knew about it when they did my prior biopsy and didn't bother to biospy it then at the same time,,, GRRR- so I have to go in every 6 months and have that area ultrasounded. Not what I wanted to hear. But it is what it is and I am going to be proactive. My cancer was found with my first ever mammo so the days of thinking- " it cant be me" are over.
Its hard to trust doctors you may never have met. Keep your chin up, we are always hear to lend an ear or a shoulder- I just love comeing her as the ladies are great sisters who will help you any way they can.0 -
lisa my on oncolog. told me the same thing as ndg. I elected lump with rads. I ended up in chemo due to micromets in one node and aggressive grade 3. talk to your oncolog. as well as the surgeon.0 -
Hi Lumpies
Starshollow - Welcome and Happy Dance! Ooo who thrilled for you sending gentle healing thoughts and prayers.
Lisacm - welcomes and breathe...you will be fine brave warrior! Focus on today and focus on understanding your dx. We are all unique...so don't jump to any forgone conclusions on your status..ask ask ask. To your question...our teams use tests to determine best plan of action. So lx&snd may be plan, but then path report after surgery will confirm the status of the breast/cancer. My pre op MRI showed 3 areas, path was good for 2, post surgery MRI confirmed 3rd area a false positive...but I was prepared for whatever my BC team thought would be the best course of attack. It is great that your BC team is on top of your care. The MRI biopsy will give them more info to determine status of your situation...sending calm confident thoughts and prayers that the true status of your breast will be made known. Breathe....we will be in your pocket Wed {{{squeeze}}}
Hey, I walked out if a pap after waiting more than 1 hour...GYN/OB...called to emergency delivery and staff forgot me...I dressed and went home...they called the next day to ask what happen ha! Reschedule the next week...he's a good guy...babies come when they are ready...
Shout out to all you Lumpies! Group (((hug)))
Working my scar tissue and trunk LE...my mammo is coming up...1yr mark from the one that started this roller coaster ride!
Cindy0 -
RMlulu, I'm in the same boat - 1 year anniversary coming up with mammogram on November 20. Tension mounting - as expected. I too have some swelling and scar tissue - and to be honest "Dick" as I call him as in Dick and Jane (Jane is the other one who has behaved thus far) doesn't really like being jostled about - Wondering and worrying (of course why change now) about how much pain a mammogram is going to be. Fluid pocket is under armpit, along with the scar tissue as I had everything done from one incision under my arm because of tumor location. Anyone have any words of wisdom aside from the obvious - "everyone is different." Kris0 -
I have re-excision surgery scheduled for tomorrow morning. Feeling kinda anxious. After the procedure tomorrow, it will be about a week to ten days to wait on path reports.0 -
hobbesla4 - keeping you in thoughts for a calm experience and safe surgery tomorrow. Hard to wait on those path reports. Good thoughts coming your way.0 -
Smiley is back.0 -
Hobb, yes it is really hard to wait for those reports.. Try to keep yourself busy, come here vent, I know I certainly did/do. There is a great bunch of ladies here who all have been down the path as well.
I am feeling more like a SLUG today.. I started on Effexor for hot flashes. but hmmm.....0 -
Hi Lumpies
Hobbesla4 - we will be in your pocket {{{squeeze}}} with fingers&toes crossed...I'm confident...so I'm all ready wearing my Happy Dance heels! Sending calm confident thoughts and prayers
Yeah Smiley...bounce bounce))
Kkuziel - yippee our 1 yr anniversary and 6 mo post tx mammo. Yikes the swelling fluid and tender 'dick or 3rd girl' I've never complained about mammo squash before but a bit anxious on the big squeeze...still not sleeping on my side
Ndgrrl - sorry you are a slug today...power surges are no fun...clothes on off, wet spots on office chair ugh! I've found the more consistent I'm with exercise the better I do...:) hope your body calms down.
(((Hugs)))
Cindy0 -
hobbesla4 - Good luck tomorrow. I had re-excision and snb done and it really wasn't too bad, it's the darn waiting that is awful. We are in your pocket.
RMlulu- Glad to know all is well in texasland! You always have a positive outlook so I am sure mammo will go well and we will do happy dance with you and kkuziel!!!
Hugs to all you awesome ladies, Marilyn0 -
I enrolled in a clinical trial because I did not want to do 5-7 weeks of daily radiation. I had a lumpectomy with IORT (intra-operative radiation therapy) on Thursday 10/24/2013. I woke up from surgery with minimal pain, went out to eat dinner 2 hours after I was discharged, and flew home the day after surgery. I went back to work today. I am waiting for the final path report and then I just want to be done with this.0 -
Themis - Wow awesome lady!!! Please tell more...I never heard of this.0 -
Hi ladies
Today was last rads!!! I'm so tired, so relieved this step is over. Breast is bright red, uncomfortable but pain meds are helping, underarm blistered and hurts. But I'm going to bed shortly with a big smile0 -
Fephan - Happy Dance!!!!! Sleep well dear.0 -
Fephna - yippee! Congrats and Happy Dance)) Ooo who! Sweet dreams....take care of the girl. There's such a big amazing relief of not having to jump on that table each day! And then a sigh because your rad techs made it so doable. Be kind to yourself...You Did It ))0 -
Congrats Fephna!!!! Doing the happy dance with you -- sweet dreams, Kiddo, it is OVER!!!!!!!0 -
Fephna - Yeah doing happy dance for you and with you!!!! Hope you celebrate and indulge yourself - you certainly deserve It! Hugs, M0 -
Hello ladies,
Had a Lumpectomy yesterday with the Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection, I think he took three out. Now playing the waiting game again and praying for clean margins and no Lymph node involvement. I was lucky as my surgeon did the Sentinel Lymph nodes while I was under for the Lumpectomy. Was kinda worried about that as I heard it can be very painful otherwise. Peeing windex last night and today, but that I can handle. I had a 1.6 cm lump, estrogen positive, both invasive Lobal and Ductal characteristics. Doctor is saying Chemo and Radiation. Do they do the Chemo before the Rads? Oncologist is sending sample out somewhere in California to test for DNA and which chemo will respond the best for me. Was hoping to avoid the chemo.........0 -
Hey Northwinds. Your onc is likely sending a sample of your tissue for an Oncotype. There are posts on here and info on the web about it. Will give you a score that predicts how helpful chemo will be and risk of recurrence. It assumes taking hormone therapy for 5 years. The lower the score, the less likely you will be to need chemo. I think grade of tumor somewhat correlates - so if you know your tumor grade, that can help you guess at the results - higher grade higher chance of chemo, but not always.
Good luck on clean margins and clean nodes!
Ridley0 -
Northwinds, I believe Ridley is correct. The test that is usually sent to California will decide if you will need chemo or not.. My Oncho score was 18 and I didnt need chemo.
I had internal radiation so mine would have been done before chemo. External radiation is usually done after chemo.
I also peed like a smurf for a few days. The dye they use to find the lymph nodes takes awhile to leave the body.
Welcome Northwinds, feel free to post any questions, concerns, rants or raves. There is a great bunch of ladies on here. They have helped me bunches.0 -
Welcome, Northwinds - "peeing windex" - that made me laugh - one thing's for sure - the ladies on this thread have a great sense of humor - you'll find out! Anyhoo, the ladies above are right - your tissue was sent for oncotyping, which determines the likelihood of whether or not you need chemo, not which chemo is right for you. I would think your results should be back in a week to 10 days. My scores were 7 and 14 so no chemo, but like Ridley said, tumor grade could affect score. But know this - having an oncotype test is a good thing for a few reasons - it is only offered to women who have small tumors, positive hormone receptors (which is a good thing, because your cancer can be treated with Tamoxifen) and usually no lymph node involvement (meaning there's no cancer in your lymph nodes). I know you just had your surgery, so you don't have your lymph node status yet...but I'm surprised your doctor would automatically say chemo and rads without knowing if cancer has spread to your lymph nodes. They typically do not give chemo is there's no lymph node involvement - so maybe give them a call and ask why the doc said that. If your oncotype score comes back on the high side (usually somewhere in the high 20s, but every oncologist is different in the way they think) and your doc recommends chemo, then you will definitely do it before rads. Good luck - will be watching the board to see how your path and oncotype turn out!0 -
Hi, I'm having lumpectomy with sentinel node biopsy tomorrow, nov. 1st. I was wondering if I would be able to get up the next day, Saturday, and watch my son's football semifinal playoff? I want to be able to manage my expectation of what I can and can't do. Thanks!0 -
Welcome Tori39 and Northwinds to the Lumpies! A fine lump we are
Tori - we will be in your pocket tomorrow {{{squeeze}}}. You should be able to attend your sons game just no cheerleading or Pom Poms! Watch the arm...SND will be tender, but yes go yell and enjoy his victory! You will do great warrior you will be surprise at just how great you feel...you got this!
Northwinds - yippee! Now time for R&R....blue pee is different...:). Take care and breathe...soon you will have all path results and your BC team will guide you on the next step...chem comes before rads, but your path report/oncotype test will help direct next...so take a no c zone break as you heal and renew...focus on today! Go blow done bubbles, wiggle your toes in the grass, dance after the fall leaves gather in the things that make your heart smile/sing...
(((Hugs)))
Cindy0
