Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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FairyDog, just tell them the advantage of lx is that if it reoccurs they CAN cut it out. If you get a mx w/recurrence they can't!
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Dear Fairydogmother- how rude can people get. I'd try just saying your docs recommended it based on research and clinical judgement. That's it. They will never understand all that you do based on those casual careless questions. They may be really curious, and just don't understand hoe ghastly that is for you.
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I do tell them IF cancer comes back they can take my boob. I tell people they are taking my ovaries this time. Thank you for the advice. I like my tolerance for rude people has gone down as treatment went on.
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Hi FairyDM, I haven't had anyone asking why I chose what I chose lately, but in the beginning I experienced some of what you are now.
I had several people say, o I couldn't do that, I'd just 'cut em off'. I find some of these people think of bc as a living organism - with intent! They seem to feel like it is a group of insects or something crawling around inside determined to kill you. Because of that mentality, it's panic time - get em out, get em out!
Another group just doesn't want to EVER risk going through it again. So they go for the mx or bmx right off the mark.
We feel the way we feel, so I guess none of it is right or wrong. But I'm sorry they are putting you through the irritation of having to defend your choice. I'm happy I decided to go this route. My girl is a smaller than her companion and has a nasty old scar on her, but she's still on my chest and I like that. My choice - I chose to keep her around.
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Hi Lumpies!
FairyDogMother - breathe, we get it! Vent! So difficult when everyone is an expert and they have no clue. I think most of us really had NO idea when we got the call...dx...just what choices were out there and how each choice hinged on a certain path result and our gut feelings and comfort levels.
I remember attending a support group the day I received dx and heard options...than began to read this site and ask questions. Our journeys, roller coaster rides, are similar yet very personal unique.
You've come along way...brave warrior...faced the beast...don't look back...press on...you've got this! You'll do great in rads...glad you have options! Trust yourself!
Shout Out to all!
(((Hugs)))
Cindy
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Fairydog- I came across that a lot when I had my lumpectomy - people asking me why I didn't just cut it off so It wouldn't come back- Suddenly people who I didn't really know were asking me this uptown. I would tell them if my doctor didn't think a lumpectomy was good for me he would not have given me that option.
I suddenly felt my breasts were public knowledge and I did not appreciate it at all. I had internal high dose radiation and also had to defend that. I for awhile became a hermit just so I didn't have to deal with people outside the cancer center.. After awhile things called down and it was much much better.
Good luck- Just know the decision was your choice and every one can be curious and opinionated all they want but it is your body and your choice to make.
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I suppose MYOB (mind your own business) would not be a very polite answer but its the one that jumps to mind. Its hard working in healthcare with surgeons whose answer to everything is cut it off/cut it out/ take it away.
I think the borderline snarky but somewhat tactful answer is "wow" you have pretty definite opinions on this- should you (god forbid) ever develop breast cancer you will be making those choices for you just like I did for me
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FairyDog -- I never had people asking about my lx, but then I was able to keep things pretty quiet until I got to chemo. Once I lost my hair, folks knew something was up. I might favor wyo's snarky comeback, though, so maybe people knew better than to cross me! Lol!
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I put my diagnosis right out there on Facebook to give friends permission to take to each other or to me about it. People who care want to get updates from one and another and I didn't want them to worry about whether I minded. It stopped questions and added support from those closest to me.
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You are very cool Miminiemi.
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miminiemi- I did the same thing. I put in cap letter I have cancer and I'm 36. I know too many people and didn't want rumors or whispers to occur. I figured I would just be honest. The annoying questions are from those who don't FB or from doctors. Who want to treat cancer the "Traditional" way. Thank you for the thoughts. I was just having a off day dealing with Inlaws again
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Fairydogmother,
The one I keep getting is "oh, you JUST had a lumpectomy". My standard answer is "no, I ended up with two lumpectomies because the first did't get it all, then 33 radiation treatments and now meds for five years so not JUST a lumpectomy." Like everyone thinks It's a piece of cake if you choose lumpectomy.
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I have not had someone question my decision to have a lumpectomy, but many women have said if they were in my situation they would just cut them off. Maybe they would feel different if they were really in this position and then I know there are many women on this board who do feel that way and feel good about their choice. I am scheduled for my third lumpectomy tomorrow and last Friday my doctors advised me to have a mastectomy after reviewing my case with their tumor board. I wish I did feel like those other women and my decision could be that simple. I have a six year old daughter and want to ensure that I am here for her. At the same time I am terrified of losing my breast. It feels like something I just can't handle.....at least not right now. I am so afraid of making the wrong choice. For now I am going through with the lumpectomy tomorrow and then getting a second opinion. One day at a time, right?
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I have had the 'oh it's just breast cancer' comments, along with 'oh, just a lumpectomy' and of course the questions about why, with people looking at me like I'm an idiot because I didn't choose a bilateral mastectomy.
I was one of those people who thought if I got this diagnosis (my mother has had BC twice and grandmother and aunt also, so no unexpected), that I would just remove both breasts. However, when the time came for me to make my decision it wasn't quite so easy. It was in fact all of the reading I had done on places like these forums that swayed me in the direction of the lumpectomy. There are pros and cons for every single decision along this journey and until someone has to make their own decisions they will not know all of the many factors a BC affected woman has to think about.
Rubiayat good luck with your lumpectomy tomorrow, I hope you get good results.
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Rubiayat, I'm sorry you are going through this and I understand your reluctance to have a mastectomy. However, I would consider the Tumor Board to be a second opinion as multiple doctors/healthcare providers are typically involved in coming up with a recommendation as described in the link below. Hugs to you.
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Lumpectomy tomorrow morning...wish me luck!
I'm so nervous, and getting more so by the minute. My doctor still hasn't called to confirm surgery time, but I'm pretty sure I'll be checking in around 6 am and hopefully returning home before my kiddos get home from school. It's 4 pm local time, shouldn't the doctor be firming up the surgical schedule? I just keep thinking, "today is the last day of my *before*." I'm so scared of the surgery itself, the incision, everything about this. My tumor is smallish (1.5 cm), but I'm so worried it will end up being bigger than expected. My doctor and I discussed a lumpectomy as being a good option for me, but while I was at the hospital, I noticed my paperwork said "partial mastectomy." This has only contributed to my anxiety, because my mind is racing thinking I'll wake up with only half of my breast! I'm worried that I'm not doing this right. Did I discuss everything that needed to be talked about? Did I buy the right bra? Yes, I am going crazy.
I pray I can stop my mind from racing around making me more nervous. I need peace today, and I'm my own worst enemy thinking of all that could go wrong. Wish me luck, include me in your prayers, tell it's going to be ok
Thank you for your support!0 -
SwissMiss - Breathe! We are in your pocket {{{squeeze}}}
Call your surgery center, confirm time, ask for RX for anxiety. Best med hug your hubby and kids.
Lumpectomy is a partial mastectomy
Tomorrow you will walk into surgery center in something comfortable...yoga pants, shirt, hoody, flip flops. Guided wires, numbing cream, nuclear dye (bee stings squeeze techs hand) than surgery center. Family will be there...confirm how when results and then the next thing you know you are waking up and you did it!
Take it easy at home watch the arm...lifting kids...you will be surprise how the cloud has lifted
Tonight, enjoy family ...they are what it's all about...soak in the love brave warrior...you got this...breathe!
(((Hugs)))
Cindy
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SwissMiss- Breathe, Definitely call the surgery center. Where something comfortable, bring a blanket for the ride home and a pillow to keep the seat belt way from your area. Wear a goofy hat will make you feel better. I woke up with a bra on and got to take one home from the surgery. The thing that hurt the worst was the sentinel node radioactive dye shots (4 of them). You can request a slide of your tumor or a pdf pictures for it if you are into that thing. I did both
Took the pdf pictures to a gun range and the slide I use to analyze my cells. (former genetics person). Bring some water and a stuff to throw up if you need on the way home. Bring something to eat afterward like fruit or crackers. The hospital might offer you ice cream or crackers. The night before I went in we took pictures of my boob, before it got parts taken off. My cleavage will never look the same. Don't stress if the tumor is bigger. Felix (my tumor) grew over 1 cm in three weeks. So it pushed me up a stage.
Breathe..Remember we are all cheering you on.
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swissMiss, I had two lumpectomy surgeries, and they really weren't that bad. I had a lot of tissue removed between the initial surgery and subsequent reexcision (to get bigger margins). My surgery breast has a horizontal scar on the side and isn't as full in that side, but it still looks pretty "normal" to me, and I am still wearing the same 38D bras that I wore pre-surgery. My husband said he likes the scar ... He said it looks tough. ;-)
The hospital will send you home in a surgical bra. I have two extra that I'll send you if you'd like them -- just pm me. Otherwise I wore soft stretchy sports bras or the Genie bra while healing and during rads (though very often I just wore a cami with built-In shelf bra back then).
One thing I did that I thought was pretty clever -- I bought one of those squishy gel-filled cold packs from CVS. Then I cut a small hole in the corner (when it was room temperature), and I filled about four snack sized ziplock bags with the gel. Think along the lines of a pastry bag with the big cold pack. I then put the ziplock each in another one to prevent them opening. They were the perfect size to tuck in my bra along my incision. I still have them in my freezer for headaches etc.
good luck, and check back in when you're feeling up to it! Most of all, get plenty of rest! ((Hugs))
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Kiwilady, I feel the same as you. I always thought I'd just have a mastectomy if I had breast cancer and I have now opted twice for a lumpectomy. It helped that I got a second opinion from Sloan with my second one, from a female BS about my age, and she said that is what she would opt for if she was me. I have been pretty lucky in that I know a few friends and family would probably have loved it if I got a mastectomy, but no one has questioned my decision at all. My husband too has been so supportive.
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Swissmiss the two ladies above nailed it. I agree the four bee stings were the hardest. I really do wish somebody had literally had my hand. But it is quite fast and does not hurt after. Ask for a hand holder. I recommended that to my hospital eventually. Your family will have you in their arms and we are in your pocket..
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Swissmiss, do you have Emla cream? It's a topical anesthetic you apply as you leave home. I put mine 1) on my nipple and 2) on my biopsy spot. Worked like a charm. Didn't even feel pain with the wire placement.
Good lucktomorrow with. (((hugs)))
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The good news is there are so many posters who have been there and done that- its reassuring we all make it through- some easier than others but here we are posting- sorry I saw this so late but yes call or just show up they should be expecting you!
I am on a crusade that people know their surgery times earlier than the day before- thats utter nonsense considering the surgery schedule can juggle a bit but is mostly set several days out.
Another difference- I did not have my nuc med injection in my nipple- see this here all the time but mine was on the side pretty close to the wires for locallization and by my bx entry point. No pain but I had numbing for the wire placement but nuc med tech and manager said no one identifies pain with the injection that they have worked with??? who knows
Best to you tomorrow- we look forward to hearing from you once you fire up that computer afterword.
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hi Iam new and just wanting to know if anyone else here has had same or similar symptoms Iam 32yr old female about to have radical complete ductectomy ultra sound findings of irregular dilated duct containing cluster microcalcifications and another irregular dilated duct just under nipple containing solid fuzzy mass I have spontaneous nipple discharge severe pain radiating thru to back directly behind bad breast pls help
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Badboobs - welcome, but sorry you must join the club no one wants to join...ugh c:(
Someone will come along who has similar dx. The waiting is the hardest...
Read up on this site great info, visit your BC center to determine services, attend a support group to ask questions share dx. Also you may wish to post on newly dx, young women in 30s, ...
Sending calm, confident, healing thoughts&prayers.
(((Hugs)))
Cindy
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Hi Badboobs, I am sorry to see you here too, but glad you found us. It's a very supportive group of girls. Keep coming back, but like Cindy said, there are threads that will perhaps answer more questions for you. Her suggestions are always spot on!
Anyway, very sorry about your pain and the discharge. Hope the docs can ease that for you as yiu go through treatment.
(((hugs)))
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Hi Ladies!
Hope everyone is doing good! To our newbies we all understand, I remember when I first came in here I wanted to be where the oldies was now, almost over with everything, And as of this past Tuesday I did my last radiation treatment. Was a long journey but glad that part of it is over. Everything feeling a little back to normal, despite the discoloration, which is trying to come back. But best of luck to you all!
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Well done, Sloy! I am still very much a newbie, still waiting for test results and final opinions on treatment plan. But happy you have come through your rads and have that behind you! I can't wait to be there myself.
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Badboobs- Welcome to the board of warriors. I'm sure there are others on the board with the diagnose. The waiting is the worst part.
sloyd66- FINAL RADS! The next journey in your life is starting. What are you going to do celebrate?
BigDBeating…Welcome to the board of warriors. Don't let the waiting drive you mad.
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Haha, too late for that Fairy! Can you see the foam coming out of my mouth? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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