Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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When I told my husband, he said that of all his primary care patients, hypochondriacs with cancer are the best and most compliant with meds. I asked him why, and he replied, “Because somebody finally believes them.” I told my son, and he immediately phoned in to his comedy theatre to have someone else host that night’s open mic. (I had to tell him, because he saw how ashen I looked when I hung up the phone). When Bob got home, we opened the bottle of sparkling rosé I’d been chilling and toasted “F-U, cancer. Watch your ass, because we’re gonna kick it."
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Hi all. Again. Thanks for the welcome.
I am curious if there is any info about how various factors may impact the healing process.
My tumors were both small and close to the surface. Only showed up on ultrasounds. Never seen in mammo or MRI.
If you have very fibrous breasts, what is the best way to find small cancers? Should my mammo always be followed by an ultrasound? Are 3D mammos significantly better?
Also... I have large heavy breasts. I have always worn a bra 24/7. Even to bed. It's always been uncomfortable to let the girls hang. So.... I am wearing two bras now.. One to hold 'em up and one to hold them still. Any drooping or bouncing is ouchie!
So questions... I assume a smaller tumor makes for an easier recovery. But probably the depth and location make a big difference? And how about breast size? Does that impact pain or recovery?
I know we are all unique. But I am curious if there are some things that can be predicted with similar factors.
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Close to the surface is good. I hear you about the big breasts: I'm a 38 I. (Actually, an H on the right, which was the operated breast and a J on the left, so I split the difference). I should go back to wearing a sleep bra, because even though it's not all that supportive it prevents skin-to-skin contact and the yeast that seems to come with it. Besides, it's easier on my back. In a nightie or form-fitting PJs, the difference between Thelma & Louise/Mutt & Jeff (pick your generation's cultural reference) is very noticeable—my healthy breast hangs like a basset hound's ear, and my operated breast actually looks perky & normal (albeit still huge). When I travel and either room with someone (e.g., at a music conference where rooms are scarce and we have to double up) or get room service, a sleep bra makes it less embarrassing for me to wear my nightgown. I use knitted front-hook “leisure bras" by Leading Lady: cheap, come in colors and in sizes up to F/G/H (close enough), and easier to put on than front-closing sports bras. Just got some nice-looking actual rear-hook sports bras in the right size for girl-containment in the gym. Still not brave enough to wear them without a t-shirt, especially with the cat scratches on my midriff. (Tired of explaining no, I’m neither abused nor a cutter).
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I'm sending good wishes to all. I realize that some are coping with additional stresses of caring for loved ones or with other health challenges of your own.
I'm wondering if anyone could help with a question about Oncotype DX: Some in this forum have had this test. Does anyone have a sense of how long it typically takes for the results to return?
It's raining and chilly in my neck of the woods but at there are sources of uplift here. Take good care.
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Vivian - I don't think they do oncotypes in Ontario. I was certainly never offered one. I only told a handful of people as well at the beginning. Now more people know, mostly because of my hair. I'm not brave enough to walk around bald so have been wearing a wig, scarf or hat. When someone starts raving about my new hairdo and how much they like it, I usually tell them it's a wig. My DH will talk about the positive things but can't handle anything negative so it's not to be able talk about the "worries" here!
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bravepoint, Ontario was the first province in Canada to fund Oncotype Dx testing and has been doing so since early 2010. It is not consistently funded by health authorities across Canada. I do know that BC and Alberta fund it, but I have no knowledge about other provinces. It is only funded in Ontario for stages I-IIA ER/PR+, HER2-, pN0 or pN1mi. MOs request it. Based on the stats you have posted, having a positive node would have rendered you ineligible, so you would not have been offered the test. Cancer Care Ontario also considers Grade 3 and LVI (depending whether or not you had any lymphovascular invasion present) as high risk features, which would be factors an MO would evaluate in his/her recommendation for chemo. Insurance companies in the US will pay for the test for 1-3 positive nodes; however Cancer Care Ontario has not determined that there is sufficient evidence to do so at the present time. Some Ontario MOs routinely offer the test to all eligible patients, while others offer it more discriminately, so like in many areas, it pays to be an informed patient and your own advocate. Wishing you well with rads!
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Newbie here. Found this forum and found it VERY informative. So first off thank you ladies for sharing your stories and info. I am one of those individuals that thirst for ALL the info I can get on various subjects and it appears that breast cancer is now on my list. Your candid posts are food for this old soul.
I am newly diagnosed, going through the stages to prep for lumpectomy with brachytherapy. Surgery not scheduled as of yet. I've met with surgeon (we know from hubby surgery last year) and met my oncologist. Surgeon wants MRI done and then we can move on from there. Of course, hoping MRI doesn't show anything they don't already know.
The brachytherapy has me concerned over comfort. Particularly in the no shower, keep a bra on 24 hr. thing. I have large breasts (HH) and am curious if anyone has suggestions on a bra? I wear a sports bra already, but it has underwire, which is not comfortable while sleeping. And doesn't look like surgery bras offer that size cup.
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Garden, Welcome! You've come to the right place for more information! We are loaded with it, compassion, wit, and just plain nice people. Since I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum at 36A (barely), I can't answer your questions, but there are several curvy gals who definitely will be able to help you. We strive to be honest here with our feelings, reactions etc. Plus we care about the whole person as you can see from our non-BC posts. While waiting for a response, it would help if you would fill out your Profile with everything you know now and, via SETTINGS, make each item PUBLIC (as well as your location which does matter besides the fact we may be near you).
HUGS!
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Had my first date with a new guy from Match.com yesterday. It went very well. Where it goes from here - who knows? But he invited me out for pizza with him and his friends tonight. I said yes. Then he told me it is his birthday today. So it is a special day for him.
HUGS!
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Peggy, that's great! Hope you enjoy his friends. Have fun tonight!
MJ
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downdog - Thanks for the clarification!
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I have a scar across the width of my wrist on my right hand, a scar the entire length of my right thumb, a tiny patch on my right index finger just above the first joint and a larger patch at the base of the same finger (the larger patch came from a graft on my right wrist). I fell through a glass door when I was in my early 20s. Every doctor asks what happened, but only one actually asked outright if I had attempted suicide. I didn't know about the Oncotype tests. My BS mentioned genetic testing to see if I would need chemo, but that was all I knew about it until I got notice from my insurance that they were not going to pay for it. They didn't see it as medically necessary. I nearly panicked when I saw the $4000.00 + price. But I got a call from the lab that was doing the test and, after asking me a few questions, they told me I qualified for financial aid to pay for it. I never got a bill. I didn't get the Dx until last November when I asked for a copy of the surgical report. Then I was given everything-PET scan, x-rays, wire-guide, etc.
Gardennerd: You won't be able to wear an underwire bra for a while. I wore the largest size front-hook bra I could find at Walmart. I was a 44/46 DDD/F until after radiation. The left lady is still a 44/46 DDD/F, but the right girl is now a 42/44 DD. I had never worn an underwire bra. I buy Cacique from Lane Bryant and had a fitting a few months after radiation and couldn't find the bras I liked (they don't make them any more), so I had to go into an underwire. I also wear a soft breast form to fill in the gap on the right side.
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MJ, Thanks! Not only do I hope I enjoy the friends but I hope I enjoy him. I've known him 1-1/2 hours
HUGS!
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Peggy, he must have liked you a lot to invite you to his birthday celebration and to meet his friends. Have fun!!! Welcome to the new ladies. I am not on here as much as before. You can see everything I have been through in my profile if you have any questions. I generally answer ladies who might end up with mastectomy. This is a wonderful thread and very supportive. Many of us have made friends for life here.
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Molly, I hope that's the case and not desperation
HUGS!
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Gardennerd, my “girls” are as big as yours, and I found that the no-hook Genie, Danskin, Coobie or Fruit-of-the-Loom stretch bras offered at Walmart & Target were just too small. If you can at all afford to get fitted properly, do not settle for “sister sizing:” buying a band that is too big (and rides up, providing no support) in order to buy a bra with big enough cups cheaply “off-the-rack.” I got my front-hook Leading Lady leisure bras (their F/G/H size does stretch enough in the cup to accommodate an I-cup breast) as well as Goddess & Fantasie soft-cup sports bras (in my proper size, 38 I or J) from HerRoom.com. BareNecessities.com is also good. Both are cheaper than going to Rigby & Peller (formerly Intimacy), where I was properly fitted for the first time nine years ago after seeing a segment about it on “Oprah.” I couldn’t understand why even a 42 DDD or 44DD didn’t look or feel right: the cups gaped in front, giving me a “uniboob balcony,” with the back riding up and my silhouette in profile still looking saggy. A bra that fits properly will keep your breasts contained, with the center gore flat against your sternum with no gapping, and the band will be level—in profile, the “point” should fall between your shoulders & elbows, no lower. I bought a couple of bras in the right size, and then looked online to find them (same brand, same model) in other colors more cheaply.
Post-op, I went without underwires for awhile until I found that the wires didn’t touch either my lumpectomy or SNB incisions and were outside the radiation field. I put up with “sister-sizing” because the wire-free bras in my size were uncomfortable (the lace trim and non-woven interfacing “support sling” were scratchy & stiff). So I was back in my underwires a month post-op. Because I had partial-breast external rads rather than brachytherapy, I didn't find the regular underwire bras too constricting during the 3 weeks+1 day I underwent rads. But with those catheters sticking out, you're gonna need some stretchiness to accommodate them, so the "leisure bras" might be right up your alley (especially since you will probably be done with rads after a week). They weren’t supportive enough to wear in public (under my clothes, of course) but were fine for sleeping. In fact, I slept in them for nearly a year in order to contain the “Swell Spots” my PT prescribed to help break up areas of radiation fibrosis. I sometimes wear them around the house if I’m staying in my PJs or sweats.
VelvetPoppy, the reason your insurer balked at paying for an OncotypeDX test was that your tumor(s) weren’t in the “gray area” for which the test was developed—between the DCIS (for which chemo isn’t given, regardless of grade & hormone-receptor status) and the tiny grade 1, ER+/PR+/HER2- node-negative IDC, you were clearly in the “no-chemo zone.” Therefore, the insurer must have felt the test was unnecessary. And on the opposite end of the spectrum, downdog is correct in pointing out that bravepoint’s tumor was PR- (more aggressive) and grade 3, which would make an OncotypeDX score high enough to indicate a need for chemo (unless the patient has comorbidities or advanced age that would make chemo more harmful than beneficial).
Peggy, yay for a successful date!
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Gardennerd, welcome! I'm on small side so can't help you too much with bras. I wore front hook surgery bra that they put on me after lx for first few weeks, then was able to go back to underwire bra.
Peggy, so glad first date went well. Have fun tonight!
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The other day I pulled out the size XL (!!!!!) front-velcro-close knitted-cup surgical bra I found myself wearing in the recovery room post-op, and I marvel at how on earth they managed to stuff me into it!
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Gardennerd, Sounds like all of us bigger boobed gals have found various solutions. I purchased a really expensive post surgery front closing bra that was a nice tight fit around but allowed bouncing and sagging. No bueno. I ended up wearing regular bras that I could adjust the straps to nice and uplifting. Then I topped that with the post op bra. So one kept them up and one kept them tight and firm. Every couple days I would switch the bottom bra. Three weeks out and today is the first day I wore just my regular bra to work. And it felt weird and wonderful. I think I will double up at night and then wear my usual bra during the day and work. I somehow feel like switching it up helps.
Who knew we'd ever be having THIS conversation?!
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Hello! This is my first post here- I was diagnosed a few weeks ago and just received a surgery/lumpectomy date for 5/10/17 which I am oddly excited about! I've read quite a few older posts about what to expect during the day of surgery, and tips on what to prepare for, but I am welcome to any suggestions. I recently had to leave all my friends and the place I called home for more than 15 years due to a new job relocation- I'm in a new city with no support and feeling adrift....any comments would be welcome! This is my first foray into the online breast cancer community- much thanks!
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Welcome, Natty! Sounds like we have the same diagnosis. I had my lumpectomy and SNB three weeks ago today. The nurses in the outpatient surgery unit were marvelous! I had to be at the hospital at 9 a.m. and was home by 5 p.m. I never really had pain. My breast got really bruised (deep purple) so that was sore and is still store to the touch (so don't touch it!). My underarm and armpit are giving me a lot of discomfort from the SNB. I've found that sitting with a small pillow under my arm helps a lot. I'm still waiting for my referral to the RO and MO; my surgeon told me I'll be having radiation.
It's too bad you had to leave your support behind but you'll find plenty of support here! I also found this site prior to my surgery and it has been a godsend.
BTW, I was prescribed pain meds but have taken very few. If you do take them, be sure to take a stool softener as well as the opioids make you constipated.
I grew up just north of where you are now in Duxbury, Mass. I miss the East Coast but have lived here in California for 13 years now. I love my mountain but miss the ocean.
If you think of any specific questions, ask away! Best of luck to you.
MJ
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OMG. Just realized how incredibly lucky I am. I had 3 Sentinel Nodes removed and that incision and area never gave me one bit of pain. Ever.
Plus, after my 2nd day back at work (I am a bookseller at in indie bookstore... best retirement job ever!)... I wish I had gone back after two weeks instead of three. Being busy and around people, for me, has been so much better than sitting around and thinking about my dumb boob.
I also missed thinking about hair and makeup again. Good for the soul!
I am also lucky that as a retired person working part-time, I could take off as long as I wanted and start backas slowly as I needed.
Hoping radiation won't be much of a set back.
By the way.... ya'll are great! Wish I had started my journey with this group. But better late than never.
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sorry.... I am chatty tonight. New topic re lumpectomy. I am 62, but married just 7 years with a healthy sex life. (Brace yourself, TMI alert.)
Since lumpectomy, libido has pretty much flown the coop. Hubby is cool and we are fine. Anyone else finding the very thought of sex being put on the back burner and then blowing out the pilot light? I miss it. But only in my head. My heart and bod are saying, "Sorry, sister. Not yet.)
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Has anyone had stage 1 invasive ductal carcinoma and decided after lumpectomy against radiation and harmone therapy instead taking natural herbal supplements and teas
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Peggy, thanks for explaining how to get personal info changed to public. Lots to learn just navigating on a forum. I like your comment that the forum is for the "whole person" . . . it puts things in the proper prospective. Hope your date with friends goes well. So cool.
VelvetPoppy, had not considered that underwire bras would be not do-able. I suppose I was thinking of a no underwire bra just for sleeping. I slept in underwire the other night from the biopsy (as they recommended it might be better for me). One night is okay, can't imagine sleeping in one of those for a week when I do the brachytherapy.
Molly50, thanks for the open invite to answers to our questions. So much to learn, to understand. My friend and neighbor just recently went through bilateral mastectomy. She was aware of my being evaluated for cancer from a spot on mammogram. I was so hesitant to burden her with my questions, when she was dealing with so much herself. I was confident she had a huge support system of family and friends. I kept tabs on her through her hubby or her son. Turned out she sought me out after all. So I'm learning a lot beyond the medical portion of this process. I am humbled.
ChiSandy, I did a lot of research today on the leasure bras you suggested. Since I'm focusing on support mostly during the brachytherapy I wanted to line something up. The all cotton Leading lady front hooks seemed doable. With price so low I opted to go larger on band size to get the cup size I need (since they don't offer the size I need). I will make a slight modification to it. Sounds drastic but I do like "my girls" comfortable. I by no means would do this for a proper day bra. I generally purchase from Bare Ness. or HerRoom.
I to learned a lot from O.Winfrey show and bras. Changed my outlook on things and from that point on have enjoyed a good fitting bra. Presently wear a sports bras that may not look pretty but certainly keeps the girls separated and pointed in the right direction, ha,ha. I appreciate your info. I will definitely be looking at your suggestions. Sure hope I can get back into an underwire ASAP as I've never found the no wire types to be comfortable.
tbalding, I hope the same works for me and I can get back into an underwire bra soon after treatment too.
Robinlt, your technique reminds me what large breasted women that enjoyed running did years ago (some still do) and that was to basically wear two bras to get the support they needed.
Nattydreadf, I'm right there with you. Don't know my date for lumpectomy as of yet. Have date with the surgeon this coming Friday and suspect I will have date for surgery then. We can learn together!
Overall, ladies . . . I'm thinking there is not much that cannot be overcome . .. particularly with all the ingenuity on this forum.
I do so appreciate the welcomes and the advise.
I have not sought out the brachytherapy site yet, but for those that dealt with the lumpectomy and worked. How much time did you take off from work?
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Welcome to our new ladies! I'm so glad you found us. A safe, loving, informative, and wacky environment. And a safe place to rage, cry, laugh and live. We'll do our best to answer your questions and to reassure you.
Date #2 went well. I really don't want to remarry nor even live with someone (I am enjoying living alone), but it is nice to have someone to do things with. We'll see how it turns out. But he's nice and I like being with him. Dating at 71 is sure different than at 16 or 20. No raging hormones for one thing (or maybe it's no hormones?). I haven't run into that intensity that I had when I was young. Maybe just haven't met the guy to do that. I'm happy with comfortable.
Have a good weekend everyone!!
HUGS!
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Peggy, so glad 2nd date went well. Hope you've found someone to do things with.
Natty, welcome! Other than needing my husband to drive me home after surgery, I was able to get my own ice packs and could heat up meals. Just didn't use my surgery side arm. I bought 2 large Ace brand ice packs that are flexible so I could wrap it from my LX incision to my armpit for the SNB incision. Probably want to have meals prepared ahead of time so you can just heat up.
Gardennerd, I had surgery on Tuesday and went back to my desk job the following Monday. But it just depends on how you are feeling and your work.
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I had surgery on a Monday and went back to work the following Monday. That first day back I got pretty sore by the end of the day so I brought in my ice pack the next day - my desk is apparently not ergonomic for recovering from the SNB. I've been taking it slowly though - I took the whole day off for my post op appointment the first week back, I took time off for Passover the second week, and last week I took a day off for my radiation consultation so I haven't worked a full 5 day week yet.
Also I usually take public transportation to work but the thought of not getting a seat and having to hold on and getting bumped on a crowded bus/train all sounded painful so I'm driving to work instead. If I didn't have a car that might have affected when I went back to work more.
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~Welcome Natty~
You have found a great site. The ladies here are so caring. There is a lot of information here and women who are at different stages in recovery and who have different diagnoses. You will find someone who can answer any of your questions. I didn't find this spot until I was almost a year out of surgery. I wish I could have found it earlier.
I had to be at the hospital at 5am for injections of a nuclear dye and wire guides. My surgery was in the early afternoon. I was home shortly after 5 pm and ready for a meal & water!!. I was given meds for pain and did take some that first night, but after that I didn't need any more. I only had slight discomfort in the breast and underarm area.
~Robin~
I have the opposite issue re:libido. Menopause was not kind to me. Everything died for me and remained that way for 10 years. It all came back about a month into hormone therapy. I was shocked/surprised/glad. There is a thread in Sex & Relationship Matters called I Want My Mojo Back that is really good.
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Thanks so much for the replies-- the stool softener is a great tip, MJ
Yesterday was my 48th birthday, and I chose that day as the time to tell all my family and friends what has been going on over the last few weeks. I purposely kept this to only my husband and sister until I had an actionable plan, a surgery date, and all the tests back- especially the BRCA, which was thankfully negative. It went pretty well for the most part. I'm sure many people have that one friend who loves to offer unsolicited advice on a topic they don't know much about LOL! Nice to connect with others here on the board!0
