A place to greet and meet newbies to stage III
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Hi all,
This is my first post to a discussion - it's a little hard to figure out where and when to jump in. This place seems appropriate
I've withdrawn quite a bit from the world and don't have much of a support network so I thought I'd give this site a try. I'll spit out my basics, because I'm not sure how else to start. I'm now 36 (35 at diagnosis) and a mother of a two-and-a half year old. My son was 18 months and still nursing, and I was at my first pre-natal visit with my second pregnancy when I was quickly sent for breast ultrasounds, biopsies, tests, talks with surgeons... it was a whirlwind. Everyone I saw agreed that I have an aggressive cancer that needs aggressive treatment. Within 2 weeks, I had lost my pregnancy and started chemo - my heart was broken. It still is. My son could no longer breastfeed, which was okay but hard to suddenly cut him off like that. I finished chemo (12 weeks of weekly Taxol with carboplatin every 3rd week, followed by DD AC) in October and had bilateral mastectomies with TE placements on November 26 (yes, the day before Thanksgiving - it had to be rescheduled last minute due to a neutropenic fever - my white count was zero at the originally scheduled time). I'm doing okay. My hair is growing back. I have eyebrows again, eyelashes again. Physical therapy has gone well and I start radiation next week. So, that's my start. I finally feel like I have a moment to breathe and am now trying to process all of this. It's a little overwhelming, but I really am getting through it very well. I feel like the hardest parts (physically, at least) are behind me. I'd love any words of wisdom, and will try to help by sharing my experiences should anyone want to ask 0 -
Welcome Anna, no words of wisdom, just saying hi! That must have been tough for u. Physically sometimes is teh easy part. Emotionally another story
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Hi, Anna and welcome. First let me say I am so very sorry for the loss of your second pregnancy. That on top of a breast cancer diagnosis is almost too much. I am glad you decided to pop in here. From what I have read, this stage 3 forum is full of wonderful and supportive women.
You have gotten the hard part behind you and that is great! Before you know it the rads will be behind you as well. For me, just pushing through each day and looking for the blessings and the goodness that comes my way helps. There will of course be dark moments but you wouldn't be human if you didn't have those. Just know they are normal and allow yourself to fully feel your feelings. You are entitled to any and all emotions.
Come here often. These ladies are great!
Jillian
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Hello Anna. I'm glad you found this site, and I am terribly sorry that you don't have a support network, especially with all you have been going through. I'm sure you are relieved to be done with treatment. I am hoping that the days get better from here on out. I am 4+ years from diagnosis and doing great. It was a struggle, going through all of the treatments, but I am grateful to be done and to be carrying on with all of the good things in my life. These boards have been a lifesaver for me. Visit frequently! There is much wisdom and support here.0 -
Welcome Anna!!! This forum is supportive. I am sorry for your losses, I know it must have been easy.
Regarding radiation try to rest and conserve your energy. I used lotion since day one of radiation and my skin held up really well, it got darker and a bit painful after the radiation was completed but it didn't last long. Keep doing the stretches and if you can work out or exercise it will help with the fatigue.
Good luck. Hugs!!
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Lolis~ I'm in London, so very close to you!!!!!
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Anna~ first off I too am very sorry for the loss of your second pregnancy. I was still nursing my son when my bc was discovered and that in itself was distressing. I can't imagine what you must have gone through. I am new here too. I read lots but only recently have started asking questions. I'm starting rads on Feb 17. I have found this thread full of kind people, that have lifted me up many times already. I'm sorry your support network isn't strong where you are , but I hope that you find that support here!!♡♡
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Welcome, Anna. I'm so sorry for all you've been through. You really had a double blow. I found that radiation was a lot easier than chemo. Fatigue can be the worst part, but I didn't really find I got any more fatigued than I had been after chemo. Maybe you'll be lucky in the regard as well. One thing that I wasn't warned about was that some of us experience depression after treatment is over. We concentrate on getting through each day during treatment and don't think too far ahead. Then treatment is over, and we're no longer seeing doctors and getting treatments frequently. We're just supposed to get back to "normal" life, but our life has changed. It can be hard. Not everyone goes through this, but if you do, you're not alone.
Best of luck with the radiation. I hope it's a piece of cake for you. Do check in and tell us how you're doing or if you have questions or just need to rant.
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Anna, sorry for what you have been through. Cancer sucks, Cancer at your age seems unfair. Congrats on getting through chemo. I found it tortuous.
Emotionally I hit the wall 1/2 way through radiation. My suffer in silence imploded. Lots of ladies struggle after treatment, you expect to be back to normal, but no, your old normal is gone.
This website saved me. I was able to be honest, which as you know, is difficult with family & friends. I was frustrated with the "just stay positive" mantra that many thought was all you needed.
I hope you find a group that you enjoy, they have threads for "younger ladies". Also triple negative threads. My group that "saved me", is the Insomniac thread. Lots of funny women that discuss everything. Join us.....
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Holeinone, I hate that "just stay positive" crap. There's a book called "Bright-Sided" by Barbara Ehrenreic that gives a different view of the whole positive thinking phenomenon. She's not advocating going around having a constant pity party, but being constantly told to "stay positive" denies our feelings and our reality.
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2 Tabbies - Bright Sided is a fantastic book. I second your recommendation.
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going to have to look into that book...sounds good. On my last chemo day i just started sobbing. you'd think i'd be happy but i was feeling so lost.
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Dancingdiva, exactly. I felt abandoned after I finished active treatment. I wanted to say, "Now what?" I just didn't know how to proceed with life.
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I was more emotional after everything was completed as I didn't know how to start living. Obviously I couldn't pick up where I left so it was a bit crazy to start living in the new normal.
I am contemplating about doing a prophylactic mastectomy on the right side since I will be doing reconstruction in the fall. For the ladies that have done a prophylactic surgery, What made you decide to do that? I am so undecided.
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Lolis - I had prophy at the time of my original mastectomy. It's a hard decision. My lefty had one large tumor and a small one in a different location; my breasts were large & always had lots of fibercystic tissue; I didn't want to live with the hassle of just one breast. Cancer cells were found in the right breast too during surgery. I will forever be glad that I made the decision to remove them both.
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Lolis, I also had a prophy at the time of my mastectomy. I was just tired of having mammograms, USs, MRIs, and biopsies. Then there was the fact that none of the tests found my cancer. I found it, and by that time it was stage III. The MRI I had when I was diagnosed also showed some areas in my "good" breast that "needed to be monitored." I was so done with that. With of history of 2 other cancers, I decided enough was enough. The hospital tumor board thought a prophy on the good side was a reasonable course of action.
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Lolis, I chose as 2Tabbies and MinusTwo did, for similar reasons. Mainly I had no faith in the scans, since most of them missed stuff in my case and I was also not at all enthusiastic about being mammoed, poked, prodded and biopsied all the time. Finally I had reservations about recon (I chose to skip it, so far anyway) and preferred being symmetrical and besides my breasts always hurt and I was really sick of it. Like the other two responders, extensive pre-cancerous cells and LCIS were found in the supposedly healthy breast, so it turned out to be a good call.
However, sexually it does obviously make a difference, since breasts are also sex organs. There are days that having even one would be nice. Like you said, not an easy decision.
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Hi Lolis,
I have to agree with everyone else. I just got a BMX and debated for awhile. My bc was not seen by US and so I didn't trust technology. I know I have dense breasts and questionable areas in my right breasts. So I decided to come off with it.
It's so difficult because it is a personal decision and not even the docs knew what to tell me. They'd say there was no medical reason to remove it but what if?? Kept on being on my mind. Just never turn back. That's what I tell myself. Make the best decision I can do and don't turn back.
I'm in my 40s, so not having breasts is wierd. I'm not attached to them so I'm not depressed not having them there , but more that I look like a cut up cow. I hate to say it that way, but that's how I feel. ITrying Recon and it will be long process.
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Diva, "a cut up cow"
I am sorry, but that made me laugh (obviously I have a sick sense of humor 
). I never really felt that way, but it definitely takes some getting used to. I do feel kinship with people who have had completely different body parts amputated. I have also gotten cyber-yelled at for calling the BMX an amputation. Apparently that is too much of a downer, so I shouldn't say that. Shrug! It IS an amputation, they operate away visible body parts. Anyway, I find it helpful to think of it as amputation and call it by its right name. It also allows me to mourn the bits I lost.
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Momine - I agree. It sure was an amputation for me - PC or not.
Also good you put in the thought about the sexual triggers. I didn't "care" about that at the time, just wanted the cancer out. I have missed the sensitive touch but still wouldn't make a different choice.
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Thank you ladies for your responses. It's funny as I wanted a BMX when I first got diagnosed but then changed my mind as I always loved my boobs. However now I am wonder if there isn't something lurking inside the healthy one. I was having yearly u/s on the left and I don't think that a grade 2 bc might have grown to 5.4cm in a matter of 5-6months but I might be wrong.
My 1st cancerversary is coming up. It was around this time I felt the lump and thought it was just due to hormones.....
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Momine, I agree with you. It IS an amputation. What's the point of not calling it that? Mastectomy has always sounded like an ugly word to me. Amputation isn't any worse. I do miss having breasts as an erogenous zone. Cancer treatment has just about deep sixed that part of my life.
Lolis, I hope you don't have anything lurking in your remaining breast.
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Minustwo, same here. There are days I really miss the "on button" ahem, but I don't have any regrets all the same.
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I still have one, which was the opposite of what I had always stated. I always said if breast cancer was DX I would remove both. My BS is very into sparing and after multiple scans being clear, I kept one.
I also think it is an amputation, and is defined as such on medical webpages.
"Mastectomy or breast amputation is the medical term for the surgical removal of one or both breasts, partially or completely. Mastectomy is usually done to treat breast cancer."
Go ahead and use the term, it is what it is. Reminds me of the pink ribbon/mocktober debate. Everyone sees things differently, just as all of our journeys are different. Sugar coating everything doesn't change what it is underneath it all
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Robin, I so agree on not sugar coating things.
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The term "mastectomy" has always bugged me a little. "Mast"? Where did THAT come from? Get your tonsils out, it's a tonsillectomy. Appendix = appendectomy. Thyroid = thyroidectomy. Even a leg amputation is called a "leg amputation."
"Mastectomy," in my mind, is a word that's trying to find a less horrifying way of saying "breast amputation." But in my opinion, the word diminishes the impact. WE HAVE HAD OUR BREASTS AMPUTATED.
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Hi Ladies,
I have posted this in a few threads to raise awareness of this petition, as I think it's an important cause to all of us. But response has been slow and has basically stalled. I am wondering if many people are not seeing it, so I am now posting it in some of the active threads. I hope you don't mind me doing this. If so, I will delete it.
Some of you might be familiar with Ann Silberman's great blog "Breast cancer...but doctor I hate pink", which has chronicled her journey from diagnosis to metastasis. I know many of us share her concern that Pinktober madness does not necessarily help towards BC research for a cure. She has started a change.org petition requesting that more fundraising dollars be allocated to finding a cure rather than just raising awareness. I am posting the link here, hoping that we all can support this cause, by signing the petition and sharing on social media. Thanks for your support !!
https://www.change.org/p/keep-a-breast-foundation-...;
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Whatever you choose to call it, I am glad my breasts are gone. They tried to kill me! I had such a horrendous diagnosis that I couldn't fathom keeping either of them. The pathology on the "good" breast came back showing multiple areas of LCIS that did not show up on the mammo or breast MRI. I feel like I made the correct decision for me. It's such a personal decision and we are entitled to call it what we choose.
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I'm with you, Jillian for the same reasons!
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okay, I'm sure this is normal. But I thought I already went thru the "I'm done with treatment, why don't I feel better" blues. I'm exhausted, I'm cranky. I'm happiest when I'm busy, but have little patience for small talk. Is freezing and snowy so I havent been running. My arm hurts (lymphadema? Maybe, wearing a light compression sleeve just in case.) My eyes are off, eye doctor says all is fine and this week my glasses seem fine while last week they didnt. My fIngers hurt (Arimidex I'm sure) but manageable. while I'm often tired I don't go to bed early and I would love to sleep all day if I could..... and, the bottom of my feet are crazy itchy.
Ahhhh, I'm ok. Just wanted to vent with people who know.
smiles,
Jen
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