A place to greet and meet newbies to stage III
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JenPam, maybe your rib cage is a different shape than mine and that holds the bra in place better. I was constantly tugging on the thing. In certain bras, they prostheses shifted to the center also and made a uni-boob. In the winter, I went flat since I wore bulky enough clothes that it didn't matter. I was never big busted so in winter clothes, you couldn't see the difference. Summer was a problem though. I wouldn't have minded walking around bald in the summer heat, but I was bald during the winter so wore hats.
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I haven't worn the silicone prostheses for any length of time, so I'll have to let you know if I get the dreaded uni-boob.
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Well thanks to everyone. I guess the reconstruction question has now taken a back set to much more serious issue. For some reason my pre-operative PET scan reveals cancer in the retro peritoneal lymph nodes. It seems all of the organs are OK. I haven't actually seen the report so I don't know all the details not to do a biopsy of the enlarged retro peritoneal nodes before any further actions is taken on my breast cancer. Has anyone else heard of this type of connection-breast cancer and retro peritoneal lymph node metastasis
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TallnTerrific, I researched retroperitoneal lymph nodes and breast cancer and didn't find much, and I haven't heard of a connection. When can you speak with your medical staff? I'm sure you're worried & I hope you can get some rest over the weekend until you learn more. When is your next appointment?
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TallnTerrific, I've never heard of that either. I hope you get more information soon. Hang in there.
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Hi, I'm Christina. 39 years old and pregnant with our 9th baby. I found out staging today and it is stage 3. I meet with oncology next Monday, the plan is to wait to start chemotherapy when I start the 2nd trimester. I'm 10 weeks right now. I'm having a hard time not feeling like this is a hopeless situation.
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Also, is it normally so slow on these boards? I've posted a few times before and only gotten 1-3 responses total. Is it just because message boards in general aren't as popular any more? If there is another place that is more active, could someone private message me about it? I really could use support right now from others going through or have gone through the same thing and I'm not really finding it here.
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Welcome Homeschol4us! So sorry that you are not getting more and faster responses. Weekends are even worse. I am not aware of any boards that would be livelier than this one. Your situation is very rare as far as being pregnant while having cancer that may contribute to few responses as well, some ladies may feel that they have not experienced the same situation as you and thus may feel that they have nothing to offer to comfort you. There is a thread pinned on top in "young with breast cancer" called "pregnant with cancer" but I am afraid that thread is pretty quiet as well. All I have to offer at the moment are hugs.
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homeschool4 -Sorry that we're not a very active thread. Inks is right. While I met a young woman who was pregnant at my infusions center, I'm older so not on any threads here that would be relevant. You might try one of the threads either for surgery or chemo stating in the fall. (like September chemo??) I found lots of support from ladies going through chemo & surgery the same time I was.
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Hi Christina. My name is Mary. I was diagnosed Stage 3 Grade 3 IDC in May. I immediately started 12 weeks of weekly Taxol and then 4 courses of Adriamycin and Cytoxin every 2 weeks. I am ER+PR+. Today was my last chemo.
When I was first diagnosed I thought I had no future. My tumor was the size of a lime with lymph node involvement. Today at my MO appointment prior to my last chemo the doctor could only feel a tiny lump. She said if she weren't looking for it she wouldn't have found it. At my last ultrasound they could nkt find any indication of cancer in my nodes.
In two weeks the lump and lymph nodes will be removed. I am hopeful that pathology will be good. After that radiation and Tamoxifen. I am very hopeful for my future.
Have hope. What they are able to do now is amazing. Today my MO was telling me of great new research for treating triple negative. She is so hopeful for our future.
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HomeSchool4Us,
I think your timing is just off a bit and that is why response has been slow - I just tonight saw your post- and I don't know how I missed it because I check almost daily. But I will add, that when I first joined, I missed many responces because I didn't know how to look/find them. But let me assure you, HERE, you are NOT alone. And this comes from the crankiest member in the organization!
I am 57 next week, 2 kids, 2 Grandsons, live alone in the foothills of the Smoky Mts. I had mamograms every year, and constant self exams. No family history. When I found my swollen breast area, I was not concerned. My Mammogram was due anyway. To make a long story short, I went from being told "Its probably nothing" to "5cm ILC" after my BMx. Was told probably no chemo, Well, I'm just finished with round 5 of 6 and after that, Rads. I have begun the reconstruction process - but that will be delayed 6 months after Radiation.
I was dxed Stage 3, Grade 2 right after surgery. It was very upsetting. But one thing I've noticed by reading all the diagnosises and treatments posted here - It looks to me like the stage and grade are not that important. I've seen Stage 4 Ladies posting here for over a decade. I've seen Stage 0 and Stage 1 Ladies jump to Stage 4 in just a few months (skipping all the stages inbetween), with death following sometimes. I know one thing from certain. (Quote from movie Rudy) "There is a God, and, I'm not Him". I even told my Onc that I didn't even want to discuss my "prognosis" - I told her she was't God, and she has no idea of what kind of a driver I am! She laughed, and told me "Great" - said she hated the question "How long do I have?" Because as she agreed, she's NOT GOD. Along with this chatty post, I will also tell you that there is only one thing I fear about death - and that's not having all my ducks in a row! I want to have all my bills paid, all my pictures in scrapbooks, well, you know. But death, doesn't scare me at all. Yep, sure will miss a lot of folks on Earth - but can't wait to hug my grandparents. And I've got a LOT of questions to ask God when He does call me home. I guess there is one other thing I'm not happy with - all the treatment crap - but so far I've been pretty comfy - Well, Chemo sucks big time - but it's not forever.
Anyway, I think illness or no, everyone lives a happier, more fullfilled life when they accept their mortality as humans and find peace and comfort in their acceptance. I'm not meaning that we should pray to bring death early - no, no, no, but just to take a good look at it - it is a reality for us all - come to healthy terms with it - and then live your life! I have read other places that Stage 4 Ladies feel a great since of peace when they finalize all of the end-of-life details - and most say, "Why the heck didn't I do this before the cancer...instead of having this hanging over my head all these years!"
The reason for all this "negativity" in this post - is because of something I read in one of your posts- I'd like to say "I heard it in your voice". Of course you are completely destroyed! 8 Kids and counting! So many depending on you! How on earth are you going to manage the family and the treatments at the sametime! I'd be scared to death in the beginning. BTW, I homeschooled my ADHD kids for 3 years - LOVED every minute of it!
You are demanding answers right now, and rightfully so. But the truth is, and what you can find peace in - is that no matter how many test results you get back - you will never really have the answers you want. And Sweetie, that's just the way it is for everyone walking the Earth - there are no answers - there's always another test - and there is always another "concern". But there is nothing so earth-shattering that you should be thrown into a whirlwind. Everyday, you wake up to new blessings, new concerns, new aches and pains. And new joy.
I would suggest that you find doctors that you truly have faith in - and go from there - one day at a time. Please, do not let illness steal one moment of joy with your family.
It is easy to fall in the "pity party" thing, fall in to real depression, and to feel lost, alone, and overwhelmed. That's just part of it. Surely, with 8 kids, you've gone to the "pity party" before? I'd bet that with 8 kids - you've already experienced all of the emotions that you will swim through going through cancer treatments. You can ask the other members here, I've let myself go to the pity parties, and, especially the anger parties, too many times - but hey, we are human! There are forums here just for venting - you can even cuss if you feel like it! And I was never a cussing lady before - but I've certainly ran to the venting and anger forums and showed my "butt" with very ugly language....usually to delete the post the next day....but venting does feel good - will even make you laugh! So, I'm not suggesting that you bury your emotions, but to acknowledge them, and to look forward to your next joyful moments - because there will be many - if just over the next few months, or over the next many years!
I wish I could answer all of your questions from your previous posts - I wish someone had answers for me! But I think that you know deep down inside, the only answer you want to hear is "everything will be alright"! And that's what I'm here to tell you, one way or another, everything will be alright.
You will actually get acustomed to this way of living - never knowing exactly what is instore for you next. It will just be a way of life for you. The sun is going to rise every morning, wether you decide to rise with it or not. You will discover that you are way stronger than you think you are - but in some ways, you are weaker than you ever thought you were. But overall, you will be stronger, a better mother & mate - for having faced all this confussion and scary stuff and for some how figuring it all out!
Just remember, you are not alone. Everytime I try to go to the pity party - I read about some else who has a more difficult story - and whose courage embrassed my own. You are just now going to discover who you really are!
One of the things I posted here back in Feb was "Why Me?" I did everything pretty much right. I've already lived through a lifetime of challenges! Isn't enough, enough?" One of the ladies here wrote me back - all she said was "I just ask, Why Not Me?"
My prayers are with you and your family. I wish you many more Blessings and much Joy. And I pray you have the strength to grasp the Blessings and Joy each and every day!
I could go on and on about the things I've learned, the joy that has come into my life - all because I've got this new challenge to work through. But, I'll save that rant for another day!
Blessings,
December (Jerilyn from the Smoky Mts. - Granny GG to my grandsons!)
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Check out Everything for a Reason on YouTube - quite beautiful and comforting!
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Hi Christina -
I'm sorry you have to be here, and your situation is very complicated. There was a woman who was dx while pregnant who posted for a while in the Weekly Taxol Group. I haven't seen her post in a while, but maybe you could reach out to her through private message.
ETA: her username is Sheriann. Also, this might be helpful: https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/5/topic/833972?page=1#post_4460660
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Thank you all. And December, you said all that I'm feeling so perfectly. I guess what I am having the hardest time with and I am angry at myself for, is that I can't make peace with dying. I truly believe Jesus died on the cross for me to rescue me from sin, death and the devil, but I cannot make peace with maybe leaving my husband and all of these kids, some so very young, here without a wife and mother.
I also made the mistake of pouring through my pathology report which was posted online and looking up every thing it said. I found out I don't have invasive ductal carcinoma, I have invasive papillary carcinoma. Some places say this is worse, some.no different.
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Homeschool - the feelings and fears about dying are normal at this stage of the game but they will subside at some point. You just have to go through all the stages yourself and mull it over. I was wondering too why would god let such a thing happen to me while I had a 18 month old at home. But things just happen....
The fact that you have papillary carcinoma makes everything even more unusual. And I just notice that you are er- but pr+ that is unusual as well. I hope your doctors have experience with pregnancy and breast cancer or at least are consulting with someone who does. There was a lady on the chemo board one month ahead of me who was pregnant but she did chemo first and had the surgery after she delivered her healthy baby. I don't understand how it works but maybe some drugs do not cross over to the baby.
I have my fingers crossed that you and the baby will pull through this and live happily ever after!
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wow homeschool! I feel for you too! I can't even imagine having 8 kiddos & facing this much less being pregnant with another. I think December summed it up perfectly. I also agree with inks& her perspective of dying at this stage in your journey. I am 44 with 2 young ones & every time I am feeling down, bored, etc., I find myself googling statistics about survival, recurrence, etc. It is maddening! My mother died at the age of 39 (car accident) when I was in high school and I find myself constantly dwelling over it & wondering if I am going to leave my girls like she did. It's those times that I need to read posts from those on these boards - like December. I'm sorry no one responded sooner but as someone else mentioned, you may want to become active on a few different boards so that you always have some interaction going on. Hugs to you!!
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Hi Christina -
I'm sorry you have to be here. I am part of the August 2014 chemo group and there are two in this group that were pregnant during treatment. Stop by thread as both are still actively posting: Nurseshark and Gatomal. I believe Gatomal as also posted to this thread. The July 2014 group one of the posters was also pregnant during treatment.
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I have actually been put into contact with 4 ladies who had breast cancer while pregnant. All had a much better diagnosis than I do though. Is it normal that I just can't shake the feeling that I'm going to die and fairly quickly? It's probably because they cannot do the full diagnostic tests on me because I am pregnant. My lungs looked fine 2 weeks ago, my liver has 2 suspicious spots that they said look like hemangiomas, but they can't be sure, and they can't look at my brain and bones yet. So, I feel just sure the cancer is there. The original plan my surgeon laid out is to start chemo 4 weeks after my surgery, which would be less than 3 weeks now. I meet with the oncologist on Monday. They will probably split up A and C and I would get treatment every 2 weeks until 3 weeks before they want to induce me at 37 weeks. Then more chemo 2 weeks after delivery. Then, radiation amd at some point herceptin. I am being treated at University of Michigan. They do have a lot of experience treating pregnant women.
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Christina -
I'm so glad you have found four other women. In answer to your question, I think the feeling that you're going to die is completely normal. I felt that way for about three months after the diagnosis. Once treatment started, I began to trust the process a bit more, but I still have moments where I'm sure the cancer is everywhere and they just haven't found it. The not knowing is awful, and the pregnancy, concern for the baby and your other children - wow.
I am thrilled to see that you are at U of M. Do you like the surgeon and MO?
Thinking of you.
Barb
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I am here! As a caregiver/supporter of my mom. I hope that is okay? She is on here as well (wendybeee) but just joined yesterday and is still overwhelmed by information overload.
She was dx'd with late Stage III, early Stage III breast cancer, from her Pathology report, it is a mix of IDC, ILC and DCIS, 3 tumours, the biggest was 3.1 cm, 22/33 lymph nodes positive for cancer, ULMX on September 11, 2015. She was diagnosed on August 27, 2015. The surgeon said he got it all out which is great. Now she will have Chemo (6 rounds, 6 months), Hormone Therapy (1 month) and Radiation (1 month).
It is such a hard situation to be in, I can't even imagine if it was me that had the breast cancer. I would love to take it all away from her but she would worry about me the same way anyways
All of you are such strong individuals. I commend you on your positivity and bravery.
Mel
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Hi Melanie, you might want to join the caregiver/supporter forum: Caregiver / Supporter Forum
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Christina, it's scary and I think about dying every day...but I trust what I've read here from women who've been at this longer than I--they report that having BC becomes the new normal, and days actually pass that are peaceful and not filled with thoughts of cancer. I often think of a quote from the movie The Shawshank Redemption: Get busy living, or get busy dying. I'm trying to stay busy living! Hugs to you.
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Hi Homeschool4us, I too am diagnosed with papillary carcinoma, mine is a micropappilary invasive carcinoma and I too read too much on the Internet. It is a rare type, but with studies always going forward, we have a good chance of beating this. I was lucky to get onto a clinical trial. First I had a masectomy of the right breast and my 27 lymph nodes removed, 5 positive. Then I did the 4 treatments of AC. Now I'm taking Kadcyla (a targeted chemo) along with Perjeta every 3 weeks for a year. I started radiation last week. I've been very fortunate without any major side effects. Keep positive and keep your faith. My prayers are for you.
Tami
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Barb,
I absolutely loved my surgeon Dr. Jessica Bensenhaver. I am seeing a high risk ob there as well whom I love. That's all I have seen so far. I have an appt tomorrow with someone about the rest of treatment.
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Jen, I'm glad to hear how I am feeling is normal. I am doing pretty well going about my days having good times. It's when I have to go back to the doctor that I start to have panic attacks. It seems all I get is bad news from them.
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Tami, that is exactly what I have as well. I'm still learning all.of this lingo. I'll see what they say as far as treatment tomorrow. I know it will be A/C chemo for the rest of the pregnancy, probably split up because they want to spread it out through the entire pregnancy. After the baby is born they can do different things.
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homeschool, I just wanted to say that I think any and all feelings you might be having would be considered normal. Hang in there.
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Hello to all, i'm new here and I have surgery coming up Dec. 2 2015, i'm having my left breast removed and some other stuff and a port placed for my chemo's. Don't know much of this and it seems that the more I read the more I get confused and scared.....:(
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Jazz - sorry you have to join us, but welcome. Are you stage II or Stage III? Below is a link that talks about lots of things to prepare for chemo. I found the best threads were those with people going through the same part I was - such as Surgery 2015 or Chemo winter, or rads December, etc. It's very helpful to share the journey. Once you know if you are ER/PR positive or negative, or HER2+, there are lots of threads about those treatment options.
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Dear Jazz69, Welcome to the community. We are sorry that your cancer has brought you here but we are glad that you reached out. It looks like this thread has not had activity since September. Feel free to start a new topic and pose some of your concerns so that our members can respond. Keep us posted. We will be thinking of you especially as your surgery date approaches. The Mods
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