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Sad and disappointed following implant surgery

cheryla13
cheryla13 Member Posts: 10
edited June 2014 in Breast Reconstruction

Hi - this is my first post on any BC message board so I'm a little nervous.  I just had my TE switch out for implants on 12/17/13 and have been so sad crying everyday since and disappointed with the results.  I have not yet met with my PS post op -- doing that tomorrow.  I'm disappointed in the size (too small) and the shape to wide (or too small not enough projection for the width) -- (I see "a male weight lifter").  I was originally a B cup had lost a lot of weight (80 pds) pre-diagonosis so lived with sagging breasts.  I really like my PS and communicated that I wanted to be small (but I think I meant not as wide).  I'm mad at myself for letting my judgement get in the way of her vision.  I lost my since of what boob size I was and what would look good (especially since the weight gain - gained 40 pds post dbl mastectomy and chemo).  She gave me small breasts but I think the proportion and shape is wrong and one is smaller than the other.

Has anyone experienced such sadness following an exchange surgery?  Do I have to live with the final results or can I have them fixed (enlarged with balanced width/projection)?

Comments

  • cascader
    cascader Member Posts: 152
    edited December 2013

    hi. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I think it is too soon to see the results, it sometimes can take months for things to settle and implants will "drop and fluff" into the pocket.  I think recon breasts are often wider and less conical shaped than a natural breast. Talk to your doctor and  voice your concerns, a talented PS can make small changes which can make a big difference. Perhaps fat grafting or a different type implant might be things to discuss. Good luck 

  • cheryla13
    cheryla13 Member Posts: 10
    edited December 2013

    Thank you for your comments. Ill talk to my PS tomorrow. I'm just so thrown by how emotional I'm am. This is the most Ive cried since the beginning of this long road.

    Take care.

  • Angelique25
    Angelique25 Member Posts: 1
    edited December 2013

    I'm sorry to hear that and I kind of share the same feeling😞  I had my exchange on 12/23 and tomorrow I see my PS I see one implant very droopy. Not sure if its too soon to panic . My Husband says not that bad but he is probably trying to avoid me feeling worse:(  but I guess tomorrow I will know. Good luck!

  • Chantel
    Chantel Member Posts: 18
    edited December 2013

    I had my exchange on Oct 31st of this year.  I had a very hard time in the beginning because they were so small.  My PS kept telling me to wait.  After a good couple weeks, it was almost like the implants positioned themselves and my breasts got larger almost over night.  As for the shape, it's hard to comment on that.  I had fat injections done a week ago because there were pits and dents (no other way to describe it)… that needed to be filled in.  I'm still a little discouraged because they aren't shaped as nicely as I'd like.  But now I'm worried they are too big!  
    But I do know NOT to worry if it hasn't been at least a month post op.  The implants need to adjust and position.  It will get better.  What type of implants did you get?    I'm in a clinical study for the gummy bear extra projection.

  • Chantel
    Chantel Member Posts: 18
    edited December 2013

    Cheryl, how is the shape?  I know you say they are wide but what about the smoothness and contour of your breasts?  I think if that part is good, everything else will turn out great- and if they aren't big enough for you, your PS can always do fat injections like I had.  Don't worry- it ALWAYS works out!  Cheer up :)

  • danawp
    danawp Member Posts: 4
    edited January 2014

    I had my exchange on 12/20, and I am depressed and worried that they are too big.  I am trying not to judge yet...Probably too  early to tell and I know I am emotional at this point, anyhow.  Mine are definitely wider, but they are smooth and even, so I keep telling myself maybe it was what she needed to use to get the best result.  But, I too am upset that I could have spoken up and communicated more.  I will not want revisions because of big fear of surgery, and I just need to be done regardless...but from what I have read many have had follow up surgeries and size changes.  Ask questions, but also give yourself time.

    Good luck!

    (DUPLICATE POST BELOW DELETED) 

  • danawp
    danawp Member Posts: 4
    edited January 2014

    I had my exchange on 12/20, and I am depressed and worried that they are too big.  I am trying not to judge yet...Probably too  early to tell and I know I am emotional at this point, anyhow.  Mine are definitely wider, but they are smooth and even, so I keep telling myself maybe it was what she needed to use to get the best result.  But, I too am upset that I could have spoken up and communicated more.  I will not want revisions because of big fear of surgery, and I just need to be done regardless...but from what I have read many have had follow up surgeries and size changes.  Ask questions, but also give yourself time.

    Good luck!

  • cheryla13
    cheryla13 Member Posts: 10
    edited December 2013

    the L is smooth and round with extra skin. The R is tighter smaller lays higher with some ripples on the bottom (less fat maybe). They both loose any shape when I lean over and look at them. I'm meeting with PS today (will not cry but will express my concerns) its so awkward.  I'll reach out to whippemom soon.  Thank you!

  • cheryla13
    cheryla13 Member Posts: 10
    edited December 2013

    tell me about your fat grafting. How was it used? 

  • blessings2011
    blessings2011 Member Posts: 1,801
    edited December 2013

    Oh, ladies... feeling emotional after Exchange is soooo normal. After everything we go through, we look forward to exchange to permanent implants somehow as our "prize" for making it through the rough times.

    We also look forward to a time when we are DONE! with surgeries and procedures, and can begin to focus on everyday things.

    But rarely does a woman come out of exchange surgery singing the praises of her doctor, and feeling on top of the world. Yes, some do, and I am SO happy for them! But if this doesn't happen to you, it's even more of a letdown. 

    After my exchange, just for a moment, a brief moment - I wanted Baywatch boobs. Cantaloupes. Perfect round, fake looking boobage. What I got was VERY different.

    Please have faith that this is a process. Sometimes it's a long, drawn-out, repetitive process.

    After surgery, there's a lot of internal swelling, and the implants tend to sit high and tight on the chest. Like others have mentioned, it takes time for them to drop and fluff - in other words, the swelling goes down, the implant slowly settles into the pocket the PS made for it, and eventually spreads across your natural ribcage. (There are so many variables, including your bone structure, and whether or not you had radiation.)

    These changes can take place over days, weeks, or MONTHS. 

    So in the beginning, it's really important to step away from the mirror. What you see today is not exactly what you are going to see down the road. Staring at your "imperfect" implants every day will not make you happy, nor will it change anything.

    There are a few things to remember: revisions are always possible, but not right away. There is nothing you need to do today to make that decision. See what changes time brings.

    If your implants feel too big, see how you feel in a few months. Your brain has memories of how your Original Girls felt, and it needs time to adjust to how the New Girls feel.

    If your implants feel too small, see if the size changes as the post-surgical swelling goes down. And if you need to lose weight, remember that when you do, it will make the implants look much larger.

    If they are uneven, there may be exercises or massage that will help.

    I know how hard it is to face a PS and tell him or her that you aren't satisfied with their work. But you need to communicate your thoughts, and not be shy about it.

    After a few months of adjustment, you may find that the New Girls actually are quite fine, and that you can live with them. Or you may decide that you want a revision, and a change in size. Changes CAN be made at a later date.

    Please know that this feeling is very common, and that usually, time is the best medicine. If you just had your exchange, just know that many changes are still to come. 

    Many of us have been where you are now. May each of you come to a decision that brings you peace.

    And by all means - if you have not consulted whippetmom about the appropriate sized implants for you, please do so. She is an absolute gem, and an expert on implant sizing. 

    http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/44/topic/746448?page=316#idx_9470

    p.s. It took five months for my implants to look normal, and eventually involved some massage work. But now I love them. They are not perfect, but neither were the Original Girls. I've decided to let it go, and move on.

  • cascader
    cascader Member Posts: 152
    edited December 2013

    very well said blessings

  • cheryla13
    cheryla13 Member Posts: 10
    edited December 2013

    Thank you.  Met with PS today and she's open to revision.  Funny she doesn't want to wait more than 4 weeks as the pocket with close.  I've stepped back and am taking a breath letting the healing finish.  I do have a lot of weight to loose  - just trying to determine if they look like breast - so strange how my perspective has changed throughout all this.

  • Mgster
    Mgster Member Posts: 80
    edited January 2014

    Hi!  Went to my breast surgeon today and I did tell her that the PS plans to do a revision whenever I am ready.   She mentioned that he will probably "inject some fat in the ripple".  I don't know why, but I just assumed a revision meant taking out the implant and putting in another one.   It looked so good when I had it done in Oct. but now it has two ripples on top that I can see even with my bra on.  I have to say this is not what I imagined an implanted breast would look like even though my PS told me it would not look like my good breast.  Can anyone describe how this "fat injection" is done?  Thanks.

  • BayouBabe
    BayouBabe Member Posts: 1,467
    edited January 2014

    Mgster - if you do a search on "fat grafting" here, there are several threads that will talk about this procedure.  The bruising on the donor sites is a $@&%#, but the results are so worth it.  

  • Maresa
    Maresa Member Posts: 3
    edited January 2014

    I now have had my implants 4 1/2 weeks. I too am disappointed with the results. They are smaller than I was "promised" and they are so so flat! But my biggest concern is the ... not exactly pain, but "not good" or "not right" feeling. I cannot find anything on any sites to say what the new implants normally feel like. I think that is why I think something is wrong. Nobody else seems to complain about discomfort. Also, they are quite hard (although nothing like the expanders). And, importantly, my PS does not believe in massage. I am tempted to do it anyways, but have not because of the "tenderness/pain". Then I think that maybe massage would actually get rid of this "tenderness/pain". I am not scheduled to return to the PS for 2 months. What do you all think? 

  • sandcastle
    sandcastle Member Posts: 289
    edited January 2014

    I....Never did get to the Implant Stage or the process.....I, know for me the expander was NOT comfortable.....I ran into a problem with an infection....so after a few months it had to be removed....I have to say I felt so much better and never attempted again.....Liz

  • Jayaytea
    Jayaytea Member Posts: 9
    edited January 2014

    first off, to cheryla13:  I too went into my lowest emotional level after my TE were exchanged for my implant,  I cried for hours and couldn't stop. Luckily, my support people encouraged me to mention this to my doctor. I'm now on Venlafaxine (Effexor). Night and day!  Like some some opened the blinds and let sunlight back in.  You don't have to,feel like that. I was afraid my DH would decide not to come home to see what a mess I was (not that he would). I've had my first revision surgery where they did fat grafting,  I will have at least one more surgery to lift the other breast.  After that I think I'll hesitate to do more.  I'm tired of surgery. One thing I'm satisfied with is my cleavage. While the implant shape is flatter, they matched my cleavage perfectly.

    To Blessimgs20:  I was so surprised when I read an earlier post from you about how typicality is for women to hit this low right after the exchange.  Reading that was so reassuring. That is one of the things I live about this website!

    Maresa, I encourage you to talk to your MD or PS about your discomfort.  I had mine exchanged 6-7 months ago, and I remember it feeling very foreign - well if course, it is a foreign body.  There is numbness, but that is improving. It is often cold to touch!  I hope you get more info from someone here.  Best to you. 

  • EileenKaye1
    EileenKaye1 Member Posts: 166
    edited January 2014

    Maresa-I had implants for years. For me the pain, discomfort never resolved. Finally went to a smaller implant with Fatgrafting, and finally to complete Fatgrafting. Must admit, breast is soft, warm to the touch, discomfort is gone-and it looks quite good. Many forum members have been happy with implants-but many have gone the natural way with Fatgrafting or flap,surgery. The best, Eileen

  • Mgster
    Mgster Member Posts: 80
    edited January 2014

    I don't have any pain with my implant but it is definitely NOT what I thought it would be.  It's so weird to press on the bottom of it and actually feel it under the skin.  I know it sounds strange but it feels like a plastic sandwich baggie.  I avoid even touching it.  Why in the world did I think it would feel like my real breast?  No matter what, I just was not prepared and I don't blame my amazing PS.  

  • EileenKaye1
    EileenKaye1 Member Posts: 166
    edited January 2014

    Mgster-I know what you are referring to. My implant never did feel natural to the touch. Natural tissue is just that-natural.  RC from Fatgrafting or flaps do feel natural to the touch.  You can always change it in the future,or go to a smaller implant with Fatgrafting. Anyway,it will be your choice. The best, Eileen