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Comments

  • susan3
    susan3 Member Posts: 2,631
    edited December 2015

    boy oh boy, we have the 20 question thread, name that movie, lines from movies....now we are guessing on this thread...lol

  • susan3
    susan3 Member Posts: 2,631
    edited December 2015

    I bet you are right. Gonna look it up. Can't sleep anyway. Maybe I can get smarter :)

  • magdalene51
    magdalene51 Member Posts: 2,062
    edited December 2015
    Ding ding ding we have a winner! Wren guessed right. Now go back and look at it again.
  • wren44
    wren44 Member Posts: 7,928
    edited December 2015

    And I never took chemistry, so it really was a guess.

  • OncoWarrior
    OncoWarrior Member Posts: 3,326
    edited December 2015

    At first I thought it was jacks, broken in half. That made me feel quizzical.

    Nerdy


  • magdalene51
    magdalene51 Member Posts: 2,062
    edited December 2015

    EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS

    1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . .'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.'

    I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear.

    Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - -
    and I was in the wrong one.

    Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald,
    San Francisco

    2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.

    'Big breaths,' I instructed.
    'Yes, they used to be,' Replied the patient.

    Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,
    Seattle, WA

    3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.

    Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

    Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

    4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications.
    'Which one?' I asked.
    'The patch.'
    'The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours
    and now I'm running out of places to put it!'

    I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see.

    Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
    Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

    Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair,
    Norfolk, VA

    5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked,
    'How long have you been bedridden?'

    After a look of complete confusion she answered,
    ' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'

    Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson,
    Corvallis, OR

    6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . .' So how's your breakfast this morning?'
    'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,' Bob replied.

    I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

    Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf,
    Detroit

    7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos,
    and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.

    When she was completely disrobed on the operating table,
    the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green
    and above it there was a Tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.'

    Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, Which said, 'Sorry . . . Had to mow the lawn.'

    Submitted by RN no name,

    AND FINALLY!!

    8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB,
    I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams.
    To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

    The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing, further embarrassing me.

    I looked up from my work and sheepishly said . . ..
    ' I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'

    She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . ..

    ' No doctor but the song you were whistling was,
    ' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.'

    Dr. Wouldn't submit his name....

    1 MORE
    Baby's First Doctor Visit

    This made me laugh out loud.
    I hope it will give you a smile!

    A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room,
    waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

    The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
    'Breast-fed,' she replied.

    'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.

    She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

    Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said,
    'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'

    'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came.'

  • wren44
    wren44 Member Posts: 7,928
    edited December 2015

    ROFLMAO

  • Smaarty
    Smaarty Member Posts: 2,618
    edited December 2015

    Haha, good one

    Now back to Christmas. Made with buttons and beads. No, I didn't do this.


    image

  • OncoWarrior
    OncoWarrior Member Posts: 3,326
    edited December 2015

    mags, deee-lightful!

    My favorite is Keep off the Grass - - Had to mow the lawn.

    Thanks so much.

    Nerdy

  • AZ85048
    AZ85048 Member Posts: 1,467
    edited December 2015

    Mags - Those were awesome, but number 8 is my favorite! (I literally had tears rolling down my face!)

    "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener." (indeed...)

  • Loveroflife
    Loveroflife Member Posts: 4,243
    edited December 2015

    Mag ThumbsUp laughed so hard

  • magdalene51
    magdalene51 Member Posts: 2,062
    edited December 2015

    image

  • susan3
    susan3 Member Posts: 2,631
    edited December 2015

    so funny. You are good at finding stuff :)

  • Rosevalley
    Rosevalley Member Posts: 1,664
    edited December 2015

    Oh stop my sides hurt! Love them Mags. You do find great ones.

    Smarty that picture of the Sanata with buttons was fantastic!

  • magdalene51
    magdalene51 Member Posts: 2,062
    edited December 2015

    image

  • feelingfeline
    feelingfeline Member Posts: 5,145
    edited December 2015

    Smaarty the buttons and broken curtain hooks pic ThumbsUp Saved in inspiration folder for DD! Her school take part in a reused/recycled christmas competition every year, super inspiration there for next year.

    She made a Christmas tree with angels from pencil sharpenings this year.

    image

  • feelingfeline
    feelingfeline Member Posts: 5,145
    edited December 2015

    Onco - I thought those molecule models were broken jacks too!

    Coinccidently I was at a Christmas dinner on Monday night and got a set of jacks in a Christmas cracker. Two people sitting either side of me had no idea what they were.

  • juliecc
    juliecc Member Posts: 4,360
    edited December 2015

    image

    image

  • feelingfeline
    feelingfeline Member Posts: 5,145
    edited December 2015

    image

  • Hernie
    Hernie Member Posts: 664
    edited December 2015

    image

  • Smaarty
    Smaarty Member Posts: 2,618
    edited December 2015

    FF, your DD did a great tree, love it

  • feelingfeline
    feelingfeline Member Posts: 5,145
    edited December 2015

    Nerdy

  • flaviarose
    flaviarose Member Posts: 249
    edited December 2015

    image

  • KiwiCatMom
    KiwiCatMom Member Posts: 2,337
    edited December 2015

    I knew it was H2O (water)....but I have a minor in chemistry and I'm a nerd. :)

    That tree is amazing, Feline!! How creative and well done!

  • Loveroflife
    Loveroflife Member Posts: 4,243
    edited December 2015

    Ouuu...another nerd.

    Flaviarose, I was going to ask why does he want a picture of himself,then....Shocked Yikes!!

    Feline, talent runs in your family. Do you do photography work or it's a hobby?

  • Loveroflife
    Loveroflife Member Posts: 4,243
    edited December 2015

    image

  • Loveroflife
    Loveroflife Member Posts: 4,243
    edited December 2015

    image

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258
    edited December 2015

    Aw GEEZ! I FiNALLY got it! Hah!

    Love the pics Loverly!

  • susan3
    susan3 Member Posts: 2,631
    edited December 2015

    image

  • susan3
    susan3 Member Posts: 2,631
    edited December 2015

    image

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