Starting Chemo September 2015; join us!
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hi all! I hope the evening is bringing few SEs for all. Just wanted to say hi even though I'm done. I think of you all throughout the day. You all were with me as the MO said "see you in January". I go for my rads simulation Monday. Gentle hugs and wishes for easy days for you all
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Back from my taxol infusion. Only 2 more to go!! As I left the chemo suite, I passed the bell...I caressed the cord and whispered "soon, my pretty, soon" hahaha...I've lost it.
So, I ride the steroid high for a bit and then see what horrors await me when I add Nuelasta to the mix on the weekend. I have better meds this time around to help.
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Wow! Lots going on! Sending good thoughts to all of you. Day 2 after DD Taxol was not a picnic like day 1. I crashed and had a hard time getting going. No appetite at all and what I did eat last night tasted like moldy socks! Still trying to push it all through. More issues with that end (the rear end) than I had with AC. Yep SE's are different for sure!
Has anyone had mouth issues with Taxol? I had them with AC, but hoping they won't be as bad with T. My body definitely aches more today than any time since I started!
I hope those of you with infections and hospital stays are getting better! My wig off to all of you with kiddos. I can't even imagine it! My adult children are pretty much shielded from this because they do not live with me. Several close friends check in but you ladies are always here. Hubby has been great!
My favorite book I use as the theme in my classroom is called "Follow Your Star." We are all navigating our way through life following our own North Star. I'm so glad to have all of you navigators along side even though our north stars have taken us down this wretched path for a while.
I am sure most of you have had the thought that this is all a bad dream! I think that thought daily!!
Mom2Boo a friend had a wonderful PS after her mx. I will get the name and send it along. Hope we can meet up soon. Maybe after TG when we are both having good days!
Hazel - I'm also wondering if I will have the energy to do up Christmas like I have in the past.
I love the photos of your kids! I am thankful my teaching job is half time and flexible hours - I'm coaching teachers and I get to be with the kids too!
Hoping for good weekends for all of us!
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Southern Charm - I have had a day or two like that where I could not stop crying. Yes, it is temporary and with the strength of this group we will get through it!
💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
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Sailorgirl...I have no mouth issues at all after the first taxol. To be honest, I haven't been rinsing anymore. My mouth feels normal and I forget about the rinse. Hopefully that is one SE that is behind me.
Southern...I was a mess the last 2 weeks. I fell apart in front of the MO and her nurse yesterday. Sobbing, tears the works...too much to take. The fatigue, the frustration at having to feel like shit to get past this disease. They reassured me that this is so normal, especially when we get close to the end of chemo. Emotions catch up to us when we are at our weakest point. It's ok to cry, rant and have a pity party for yourself. We've earned it.
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hey ladies. Wow we are a busy group today. Such cute kiddo pics. Aww.
For those of you recovering from treatment this week lotsa good vibes to you.
Sailorgirl I have had no mouth sore issues on taxol. Yes everything still tastes yucky but the burnt mouth from AC is well gone, just dry mouth on taxol and a thirst for water.
It's a rainy day today and all I did all day was bum on my sofa. I think I grew roots into it today.
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Lindy I feel better reading you also cried at your mo office. It's tough when you are tired, annoyed you don't feel better and you have to get crap that will make you feel like crap but will kill your cancer. Funny how it seems to hit us at the later rounds.
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Shopgirl..misery loves company..hahaha
Had a big reminder today that it could have been worse. I've always said that I thank God it was me and not my kids. Today, the next chemo chair over is a handsome, strapping young lad of about 20 years of age, getting his 1st or 2nd infusion. He is back home, losing the rest of his year at university. A time in his life where its a big adventure. So sad. I don't know the type of cancer but when I saw him, all I saw were my own handsome, strapping young sons and that hit home in a big way.
Yes, this chemo shit sucks and I hate having to do it. But how much harder would it be to sit and watch your hubby or children go through this? I'll take the hit in this family, thank you very much. Just need to remind myself of that when I get feeling sorry for myself again.
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I feel like crap too. My bones hurt. The damn cat stepped on my sternum and I flung him across the room. The poop fairy has abandoned me so tomorrow is going to be a nightmare. Oi I keep telling myself it'll be over soon. I bloody hate nuelasta!
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Okay, do not get me started on kids with cancer. I cry at the St Jude's commercial. I would do this 100 times over before any child, much less my own.
I feel like crap too. Sad, exhausted, and why are my eyes so dry that they hurt? 3 more months is so long! But I am redminded, "Let us run with endurance this race that is set before us." Hebrews 12:1
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lindy, my mom cried and said, "it should have been me, not you."
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Cajun my mom did that too.
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LindyC, thanks for the laugh, and the "horrors" that await - so true. Hoping for little to NO side effects this weekend for you.
Ladies, to the others who have responded this afternoon in tears, hang in there. My thoughts and tears are with you all.
I would appreciate thoughts and prayers as I head to my 4th AC tomorrow and I am really dreading this one.
Kim
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that's what makes me so sad about being brca2. what if I DID do this to my children? One person with ovarian cancer on either side and NO breast cancer? I would never have guessed!
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Thanks for sharing that Lindy. You are so right!
Thanks for the Taxol / mouth updates!
Hang in there!! We can do this!!
Hugs to you all!
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hi Kim - prayers for you! My last AC hit hard, but you will be SO glad it's over. Hang in there!!!
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Hang in there everyone. I am really aching over the nuelasta. I need to get a hot pad. Took claritan twice today but I really wish I could have NSAIDS. My MO said no to IBprophen or anything like that.
Also I am praying the great and gracious poop fairy visits me because if not I am going to be up with horrible cramps all night. Sometimes they feel as bad as labor pains. Everyone in my house needs sleep especially me.
For those of you who have positive Gene's yes it sucks I feel it too. I worry about my kids but I know there is nothing I can do. I just pray that the research gets better and we actually know more when my kids are older.
I have sure shed my share of tears through this. I say to myself. "Cry if you have to then get up and carry on!" That's what we each do and we live to fight another day.
Prayers to you sweet gals tonight. Thank you for all your posts. It picks me up and carries me through my dark days to know that I am not the only one going through this.
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My last AC wasn't as bad as the others. It might not be so bad, Kim.
I had my first DD Taxol Tuesday. So far, my tongue is slightly numb, like I drank something too hot and burned it slightly. Fingertips are similar. Steroids are wearing off, and I'm starting to crash. I had just enough juice to go to my daughter's volleyball banquet tonight. I'm now toast. And I'm achy. But much better than my first round of AC.
I was also a bit weepy today. Maybe it's part of coming off the steroids? Or maybe we've just felt like crap for too long?
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Scotland, I'm just run down. My eyes are bloodshot and and dry, anemic, random mouth blisters. I haven't had extreme side effects, but I just feel OLD. Every week is a bit harder than the last. I want to eat the same thing all day. I just feel kind of sick all the time. But when I lay down, my mind starts racing.
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does anyone have a suggestion for the dry eyes? It is getting unbearable.
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thanks all for your posts.
I have redness looking like blood just under my skin on the forearm that I get my infusion in. It has been two weeks since second infusion of CT so it was not recent. Next dose is Tuesday.
Just wondering if I need to be concerned.
Thanks
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I would report it to your MO tomorrow. Anything that is off should be reported.
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Lindy thanks for the reminder, I'll gladly take the hit in my family too. I'm so glad it's not my Mom, she's 83 and would have a tough time with all of this after going through open heart surgery just a few months ago.
Cajun - try eye drops a few times a day. That is helping me out.
DS is on a class trip and his teacher has been tweeting pics all day - that has made me so happy to see him having so much fun! These are the moments I live for and will continue to fight to have!!!
Kimmer - good luck tomorrow, I hope it goes easy for you, all my treatments have been different, maybe this is your easiest one!
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Had my second DD taxol today. It was uneventful thankfully but we were at the clinic 6 hours with the blood draw, lab time and dr visit. Neulasta shot is stuck on my arm poised to fire away tomorrow at 5:30. Ugh
The SE descriptions you all posted ring true for me. Burnt tongue, numb finger tips, dry mouth,food tastes crappy, body achey, and the skin on my face has peeled like it was sunburned. Anyone else get thst? The meds really helped me get through #1. My doc says I can take Aleve. I take it morning and night along with Claritin, and Zantac. Throw in occasional colace and miralax to the menu, and of course the glutamine and B/6.
Lindy, thanks so much for the reminder and I do agree that I would rather be dealing with this than watching my children with it. For that I am so thankful. Sadly, my 83 year old Mother is also battling BC. We have the same doc, have had infusions at the same time and sit right next to each other. It is sad really but we look out for each other and provide support. She is a sting woman. Never weepy like me.
Regarding the weeping...I have also been a blubbering fool in the dr office and in the infusion room. This is uncharacteristic for me. It's embarrassing, but feels seriously out of my control. My doc recommended I start Celexa, an antidepressant. She said the vast majority of her patients go on it at some point. I agreed and after just 2 weeks, I am feeling more like myself and the weeping had stopped. Granted that I have minimal side effects these past to weeks, too.
Annie/- I have been exactly where you are and was ready to quit treatment. I got through it and you will, too. Go day by day sister! Ask for more help from your dr and infusion nurses. They can make adjustments to help you.
Reading everybody's entries surely makes me feel less alone. I thank you all for sharing your experiences, feelings, and wisdom. Blessings and poop fairy visits to you all--
Shelly
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Sorry I just don't have it in me to personally comment to everybody but I read all your comments. I so very much that wish nobody had to deal with these awful SEs --- or BC for that matter --- and I draw strength and comfort from this group, which helps me feel not so alone through all this. Thank you so much everybody for being here ((((hugs)))).
I want to thank LindyC for relaying what her MO and nurse said about so many of us crashing and burning psychologically, bursting into tears and just feeling like you can't go on with this any longer. I completely crashed a few mornings ago, cried so hard it scared my dog off the bed and woke my husband (who's been sleeping upstairs in our son's room --- son's away at college). On top of everything I felt so guilty for breaking down now --- the SEs from my first round of hi-dose FEC were if anything less than Taxotere hell, and that dose made me more than halfway through as it was the 4th of 6 treatments. What LindyC posted: breaking down into tears and despair is "so normal especially when we get close to the end of chemo" because each dose cumulatively weakens us. I really needed to hear that. Feeling a bit better now, back to focussing on one day at a time, trying to do at least one "normal" thing every day that has nothing to do with BC
I also want to thank everybody for posting so many pics of their kids and grandbabies. You are all so blessed!!!
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I did not check in much yesterday (and not at all last night) because I was having a "horrible, awful, no good, very bad day."
I'll spare you the details, but I was an emotional wreck after being hit by a string of crappy medical events plus bad-relative-behavior since last Saturday. Suddenly, I just couldn't take it any more. Catching up on the struggles so many of you shared makes me feel normal, which I appreciate so much. We're all struggling at this point and it's requiring superhuman strength to go on.
So I'll leave you with lots of <<<hugs>>> and love and this thought:
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Similysan makes the most wonderful dry eye drops. I've been using them constantly. My eyes glue shut every time I sleep and they are gritty when I'm awake. The drops help.
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Steroids made me insane last night. Stuff I'd usually shrug off made me go ballistic. I guess my husband will pay closer attention today...or run and hide.
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It's crunch berry season y'all. Just look at that bowl of sugar laden food dye.
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uuuuuuugh...I cannot believe I am subjecting myself to 12 more weeks of poison! Okay, game face on. Here we go!
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