patty
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Really know Spring is here when these appear...
Love and best wishes for some sunshine for you Patty
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thinking of you and always praying for better days! ❤️
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Hootie Hoo! Hope there's a bunch of daffs to enjoy. They are blooming like crazy here.
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Hi Patty!
Here is a shot from the top of Enchanted Rock here in central Tx. It doesn't really convey the beauty and clarity of the space, but, it was amazing, and I sent you love from the top!
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hello ladies. Finally I feel up to checking in on everyone.
Really appreciate the prayers and encouragement.
Things here are tough. I have been sick so very much. I can say the pain is manageable now. Had started affinator and exmestang. Dh and I agreed to continue with divorce proceedings. We are still in the same house for another month the or two. We are trying to buy two of everything so we both will have things stocked up to start over and trying to save us some money for cushion but dh told DSs about it last Sunday. I really wanted to wait til closer to time to move. I really believe it's what's best for us for now. We haven't ever had large loud name calling arguments but I can see it heading that way. BC has caused so much stress in our family and marriage. The good news is between my savings and my disability it looks like I am gonna get in a very nice condo or duplex. I have lived in this big house with 3 acres for 25 years. I don't wanna stay here and maintain everything and I really don't think I want a house at all. Condo , duplex would be much easier on me. Not sure what it will be like hearing people so very close to us. Tired of crying about it and ready to find the positive to focus on. Not sure how much I'll miss dh but I can't even began to image what's its going to be like to having dss 3-4 days a week and sharing them for holidays.
Anyway, gotta go read the other threads and see what y'all have been up to.
Much love
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Patty, you certainly have a hell of a plateful! Hoping that everything will go as well as it possibly can in relation to your living and property arrangements and that you will have happier and more tranquil days. XXX
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Prayers for you Patty. Prayers for healing and calm in your life.
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Patty, we have all been thinking of you everyday and hoping things are getting better for you. I'm glad to hear that your pain is manageable now, that's a big plus! I'm sorry that you are having to go through a divorce on top of everything else...Cancer takes so much from us! A condo sounds like a good idea for you, no outside maintenance and less space to clean. It's good that you are focusing on the positive ...one day at a time. Just knows that you have the support of many.
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Patty so glad the pain is manageable now. We all grow up dreaming of prince and then BAM the real world comes knocking. You are just freaking unbeliavable to make a go of your plans. At least you will have your own company that should be a hoot!! Who will be helping you? Close family? Good friends? You know, when you need something? I cannot even come up with the right words how sorry I am you are going through this.
Warm fuzzy hugs to you sweetie. Stay good.
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Patty, so happy to hear from you!! Maybe a new start is for the best. Sending all positive thoughts!
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Thank you so much for checking in, Patty. Sending a big, big hug your way!
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oh Patty so happy to here from you. You are going through so much but it sounds like you've worked out a solid plan that will make this difficult situation a little easier on everyone. It is heartbreaking but only you know what is right for you. Sending love and support! We are always here for you!
Cathy
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Patty - so happy to hear from you and that pain is now manageable! I'm sure you have given a lot of thoughts to your decision and only you know what you need and what's best for you. Your strength shines through. It's time to focus on yourself to move on. Sending love and support!
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Miss Peppermint! Damn, I'm sorry for what you are going through.... My Brother and I grew up with so much unhappiness going on in our lives.... Probably different reasons, but my folks stayed together, come hell or high water.... Made everyone else miserable being around them......
Being little, and trying to stay away from our folks, just meant me and my Brother became so close....... We just had each other.... Staying together "for the kids" just doesn't work for anyone.... but we grew up thinking no-one cared anyway.
When I was l6, I came home from work.... Dad was sitting on the couch with a shot-gun across his lap crying.... I was scared to death!!!! He left, and I called Mom, told her about it, and she came home, we drove around looking for Dad with his Sister, and of course he was at his girl-friends house.... Well no-one got shot, which was maybe good. They finally moved to California.... Dad moved out first, with his girl-friend.... then Mom found out, and said she would divorce him yet AGAIN!!!
Of course girlfriend came back to Denver, and Mom moved back to be with him. I was only 18, and had just met they guy I would marry when I was 20. My Brother had to join the Navy, and I would not move back to Cali with them.... So we didn't have a home, and I stayed with my Grandma, and other family until we saved enough money to get married..... And then we lived happily ever after!!!!
Your boys are still young.... they will be just fine..... with both of you.... Kids just know when their Parents can't get along.... it hurt us all the time..... But we didn't know any better....
Maybe that's why MY marriage turned out completely opposite of the way I was raised. I promised myself and God I would NOT scream & yell.... I promised I would NOT make them feel "left-out"
So don't worry.... do what is best for everyone.... turmoil is hard on everyone.... and STRESS will hurt you more than anything. You are not alone.... we are all here, if you just want to talk.... chances are we have all been through ANYthing you come up with!
When my Mom passed away, after 62 years of marriage, my Dad was broken-hearted! He missed her something awful! I thought, WTH???? You two could not be in the same room without that fighting and resentment, and NOW you miss her??? But helping him go through losing her, helped me learn to love him again.... It's like I became the strong one.... He depended on me to help him! Then I would call HIM everyday.... listen to how he missed her...
I would go to San Francisco to try and help him, about twice a year, but talking every day.... I got to know "my Dad" like a Daughter should.... It was like he had time for me, finally.
So your boys will get through it.... try and not be sad around them..... If you get back together again, well fine.... But if you don't, then that is how it was meant to be. I can't count how many times my folks filed for divorce.... or how many times Dad moved out! But they wound up together.... leaving "our home"..... and their kids!
So do I sound like your Mom? If you need someone to cry with, or if we can make you feel better, just post to us.... This thread is for you.... And WE are here for you.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
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patty!!! So good to hear from you! Missed you! Glad the pain is ok for the time being. Sorry about all the relationship crap. I, like you, missed my ds something terrible when he was with his dad! He was only 3 when we divorced. It lasted until he was 7 or 8... when I had my dd. Don't get me wrong. I still miss him when he is gone but dd is a good distraction. But I didn't have bc at the time either. So much freaking stress!!!!! Dh and I are in a really rough patch right now. I am very hurt but trying hard to understand him.
It is going to be hard, but you can do this! A condo sounds like a great place to start! Although the noise can be loud at times. Maybe a duplex...only share one wall
We all love you Patty! So so happy you checked in!!
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Patty, glad the pain is now manageable. So sorry to hear that you are divorcing but you have to do what is best for you at this point in time. Children are flexible so with the right attitude and words from you and your husband they should be ok. There are always counselors to help in this. You have been missed terribly. Just know you have a safe place here to talk. Gentle (HUGS)))). Don't want to get the pain level up. Much love is being sent your way.
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Haven't been around myself lately and I'm so glad to see you have checked in. I wish I could just give you a bug hug and a shoulder to cry on, or someone to laugh with. Whichever you need! Who knows, maybe the space will be better for you. If ya'll were struggling for awhile no telling how that may have been impacting your health.
Sending you hugs sweet lady!!
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Patty - You will love the condo .... easy! The time you do have with your kids will be extra intense periods of joy! The time alone will be nurturing and healing. The physical pain ... I have no advice but pray for your complete healing. But overall this sounds like what you need and it will go well.
Please let us know how things feel as you go through this. We are thinking of you.
>Z<
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Dear sweet Patty, so glad that you are managing better. Sending you extra peace across these virtual friendships. You are magical to all of us who love you so
Brenda E
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Patty, my heart just aches for everything you have to deal with. But man, you are one tough cookie. Even though the divorce will be so painful and tough, I agree with Zar on one thing, the condo will be a great change. I just moved from my small mountain town of 30 years from a big old house to a bigger city and a smaller house. The new start and easier maintenance has been a God send for me. It was tough physically moving all of our stuff but starting fresh and redecorating kept my mind busy. Plus everything is just EASIER! Wish we could all have a moving party for you and really help.
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Patty - just checking in on you again. Hope the pain is still manageable and you able to focus on making your future the best it can be for you and your family. Sending you much love and support.
Chevyboy - that's quite a life story. You can't make that stuff up! Good, wise loving advice to Patty. It should bolster her and help her get through to the next chapter in her life. You are always so generous in sharing your life experiences with honesty and good humor.
Cathy
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Patty, my heart aches also hearing what you are going through. Cancer is a thief. It takes so many things away from us and our family.
Downsizing is good. I wish you peace dear friend.
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Patty,
Praying for you today and all that is going on in your life. I love the idea of downsizing - will definitely be a positive step to new beginnings for you.
Know we all wishing the very best for your health and your relationships. Take care, sweet friend!0 -
Patty-glad to hear the pain is manageable. Moving to a condo sounds wonderful. I'm in a one bedroom apt (from a huge house) and am loving it. My DH wasn't as sure but he's also loving our easier life here. Sorry about the divorce but I'm sure this will end up being best for everyone.
Babs
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Thanks AnimalCrackers! When you look back on the things that happened when you were little, you think "how did that happen, why was it like that"..... And a lot of other bad things that you don't want to remember much less talk about..... and then when memories come crashing back when you are older, they just make you cry.... and feel sorry for the "little girl" you were.....
So that's how we grow up I guess.... bad things just make the good things seem even better.... And it helps you steer your life to a much better place.... You learn goals, and how to take care of not only your-self, but your own little family! And you do things different.... You swear to never let your kids know the unhappiness you had yourself.
Patty honey, just take care of yourself and your boys.... they won't realize how hurt and lost you really are..... if you help them through everything. Just stay a big part of their lives, and teach them how to stay strong, like YOU will be..... What I really mean is, OF ALL THE DAMN THINGS TO HAPPEN!!!! I'm sorry.... but you guys will get through this...... and we are here if you just want to talk. xoxoxo
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Hello Patty, it's so nice to see you again!
I'm so sorry that you have been so sick so much. At least the pain is manageable now.
It breaks my heart that you and DH need a divorce. You have been through so much, arggh, it's not fair that BC can take your marriage as well.
I'm glad to see that you will get yourself a nice place that's easy to maintain. Best wishes for you on your new adventure.
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