How have you adjusted to being Half Flat?
Comments
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sm627 - the Modesty4me camisoles I purchased do NOT have a built in shelf bra for the other breast. Most of the ones I have are made of a t-shirt material, but I did get one from there that is a polyester material. They have a higher neckline that covers my concave area. I still have to wear a bra under them with a prosthesis, but I can put the camisoles under V-necks and such. They are a soft t-shirt material that feels nice on your skin.
The Amoena Valetta camisoles are a knit material that come with a built in bra and pocket for a prosthesis(I use with a lightweight foam). They are a great substitute for a bra if you are looking for that type of camisole, but they don't come high enough in the neck to cover my concave area. They also are like a t-shirt but have a higher lycra/stretchy conten(than Modesty4me) so they fit more snugly than the Modesty4me.
My problem is that with v-necks, scoop necks and such is when I lean forward you can see to my waist due to the concave area compared to my size c-d cup on the natural side. So I have to wear a high neck to cover that--either a camisole or a shirt with a high neck.
It would be great to have a camisole that both has a high neck and a built in bra but no luck yet.
HTH
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Hi Sam2u,
Thank you very much for the wonderful advice I will check out Amoena Valetta and Modesty4me camisoles. I am sorry that your concave area makes it more challenging to find clothing that will work for you. In the perfect world, it would be great to find a high camisole with a built in bra and one that didn't cost an arm and a boob would be wonderful. Maybe someone will create one on day.
If you don't mind me asking what has been the most challenging things you have gone through being half flat and has there been any positives? I often time feel like I am still learning how to feel and think about this whole half flat experience.
Thank you! Wishing you well and hope you have a good weekend?
Take Care Hugs,
Sara
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sm627-Yep in a perfect world a high neck cami with a built-in shelf bra with a pocket--maybe one day
My worst challenges with being a uni were very early in the process. My surgeon's staff was not very supportive of my emotional state and how the need to look "normal" affected my overall well being. I had to search out a mastectomy shop on my own and get proper "equipment." I work in construction and if you can imagine the stares and glares from people when you are lopsided. I felt self conscious and didn't like to go out. This site helped me get the courage to seek out proper garments and prosthesis. It helped a lot . I rarely go without a prosthesis of some type now, and I don't feel that anyone knows that I am a uni. It has helped a lot to feel confident and ok with my body as is. I still have challenges with the new way of dressing, and wearing a prosthesis all day can cause the lymphedema to flare, but overall it's better.
I don't know that I would call any of this journey positive :lol But it's been really good to know that I am not alone or crazy for wanting to dress a certain way or find the right bra, keep one natural breast, etc, and that's what keeps me coming to this site. It's important to know there is another side to the journey and you can get there.
Hope you had a great weekend Sara!!
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Hi Everyone.
Wow, so glad to have found this thread! *36, born/raised in Berkeley. Currently living in North Bay. Moving out-of-state in 4 months
.I have been a uni-DD since skin-sparing UMX on Jan 25th, 2017. I was a smoker at the time of dx, so my breast surgeon was wary of starting recon right away and also steered me away from a BMX which I initially wanted. So, UMX with no recon for a year now. I wasn't sure what I wanted as far as recon was concerned anyway, but no one told me that radiation would likely eliminate implants as a recon option until I was starting radiation (facepalm!). So, I have been oscillating between flap and flat for a while now, leaning toward flat. Rads side still needs a few more months to heal so planning surgery has been on hold but I've had all this time to think/research/change my mind again and again. As dangerous as having all this time to think things over can be (I have really gone down the rabbit hole with this one), this is the first thing in regard to BC for which I have actually gotten to decide how I want to proceed. I'm glad I didn't do immediate recon, but I wish I had insisted on the BMX. I would be totally okay with prolonging my recon decision if I was more symmetrical.
Being half-flat was an issue for me from day 1, because the discrepancy between the "healthy" side and mx side (even with a good amount of saved skin/tissue) is so noticeable. I had to use the post-mx bra with pillow pads right away. I was fitted for a weighted prosthesis, and have purchased a silicone form online. None of these are comfortable at this size. The weighted/silicone forms are heavy, bulky, and incredibly uncomfortable. They leave my mx side feeling bruised and chaffed which seems to aggravate LE symptoms. The pillow forms are all right as far as comfort but migrate any which way, so I'm always thinking about/adjusting them. I'm less active and have to bolster myself when I'm going to be away from home for more than a few hours. Honestly, I'm at my wits' end with being a uni-DD.
Something occurred to me months ago which I am now seriously considering, which is to get a reduction/lift on my left side down from DD to maybe a B-cup. Initially, I wanted to do this before I went ahead with the flap so that my PS would be modeling the reconstruction on my healthy existing--reduced--breast, and not basing the outcome of my existing breast on the reconstructed "frankenboob." (apologies, I lose all eloquence when discussing this).
With a B-cup, I could probably get away with using a "cutlet" on the mx side and look even in clothes. I found a surgeon in the state I'm moving to who is known for fat-grafting only recon, so perhaps that could be an option for me down the line instead of going the flap route, which is just not appealing to me at this point. Basically, a reduction feels like the right next step for me, and it's something I can do before I move (while I have my family and friend support system near me to help).
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Raque- Not to muddy things further, but I had a skin sparing mx, had 35 rads and have not started recon, but my PS is planning on using TEs on me and doing pre-pectoral implants. Just met with him again last week. He actually said he prefers delayed reconstruction when dealing with rads because thenhe knows what he’s going to be working with. I only mention it because implants Could still be an option for you. But from what I understand, radiated skin won’t stretch as much...so you may need a reduction anyway on your good side.
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@Cpeachymom, of course it can't be as simply convoluted as I've made it out to be!
I've had consultations with 3 plastic surgeons so far. #'s 1 and 2 were male and both had pretty much already decided that they would not consider implants, and that regardless of what size I wanted, they'd be shooting for a C-cup. The last doctor was female, and she was the first to listen to what I wanted (symmetry and/or small breasts if anything); and then really examine the skin to see if flap truly was the only option. She was the first to say that she thought my mx/rads side might actually heal well enough for a small implant if I wanted to explore that, but insisted that I shouldn't rush the healing process, and only time would tell.
I've given recon a lot of thought, and one of my biggest difficulties is the fact that my options are such "high stakes" commitments which I'm not ready for. I thought (briefly) that I landed firmly on flat. . . But really, at this point my problem is being uni at a 34DD. A reduction will be the best possible solution for the time being. And then maybe, just maybe, I will have the ability to approach this from a less emotionally charged place. Thank you for offering info and insight
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Hi Sam2u,
You are right this site is a wonderful place to come to not feel alone or crazy for how you feel or want to have. I am so sorry that your BS staff did not support your emotional well being in wanting to feel/look normal again. Thank you for sharing with me what your challenges have been and the small improvements along the way. You have helped me realize that whatever breast or no-breast path you choose there will be challenges with both, and its about learning how to smooth out the rough patches along the way. I am not sure what normal is any more I guess I am still searching for how to live my new normal.
I am glad you have been able to find what you need to feel more comfortable.
Thank you so much for your support and guidance you have helped me so much. I appreciate you and all your advice.
Take Care and I hope your week is going well.
Hugs,
Sara
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Hi Raque510,
Its nice to have another Bay Area sister to the half flat thread. I was born in Berkeley too. I don't live there now but I go there often to walk around Telegraph and Shattuck. I am sorry to hear you are going to leave the Bay but hope that wherever you are moving to that you are happy there. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us. I wish you all the best in getting another boob or having your remaining one reduced. I hope that whatever path you take that in the end you are happy with the results.
Where were some of your favorite hang out spots growing up in Berkeley?
Take Care Hugs,
Sara
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Hi sm627.
Too many Berkeley haunts!
Favorite places as a little kid: Cordonices, Tilden, Adventure Playground/the Bay, Central Library, Iceland, Emeryville Arcade.
As a BHS student, Provo Park, all the way. Roaming Campus, Telegraph & Shattuck Aves religiously from about 12yrs old through late teens. Cheese sticks and jukebox picks at Mel's after a movie? The best.
You could probably find me in Tilden/Sibley/EBR parks 2-3 times a months. When I had my daughter, Little Farm/Nature Center/Jewel Lake 2-3 times a week!
The Albany Wasteland.
I moved to Portland in my early 20's, met my husband there, we had our daughter there. We moved back to California to be near my family (his was in the Central Valley at the time, too). We thought we'd be back in the PNW within a few years. I went to UC Davis (late 20's/early 30's) and we lived up there for 5 years, then moved to Napa Co as a midway between husband's and my job which I have since left. Out of the blue, my hubby got a transfer to Portland! So, even though family is still here and I am just 4 months out of active treatment, we couldn't pass up the opportunity. We leave in June. I'm heartbroken, but, the bay area is very different than it was when I grew up. And I don't need to explain anything about cost of living. . . Portland isn't as cheap as it was 12 years ago, but you can still get a lot of bang for your buck and live in a bustling city.
Re: boobs. I have an appointment with a PS in Walnut Creek to discuss a reduction next Weds. I wrote her explaining how I felt and she got back to me on her day off! I'm hoping to get a reduction before my move. Crazy? Yes. However, I feel like I will be a much more content uni when there isn't such a big difference in size.
Anyway, thanks for the welcome and I hope this thread keeps going strong!
Hugs!
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I had a unilateral mastectomy 2 1/2 weeks ago and am still finding my way. I have a seroma which requires periodic aspiration and am still sore at lymph node site so am still wearing a surgical bra. I have a small/moderate size concave area above the incision where the surgeon deliberately took extra fat from under the skin as the tumour was close to the skin and I have inflammatory breast cancer, which involves the lymph vessels of the skin. The surgeon left the infra-mammary fold so I could pursue reconstruction 12 months after radiotherapy treatment. I was quite shocked that I wasn't flat when she removed the pressure dressing as she had told me she could not leave ANY skin due to having inflammatory breast cancer. I was very upset with the sight of the unexpected dog ear, concave area and infra-mammary fold! However I now realise the benefit of the latter is that it helps to anchor the bra. I'm not sure if this will continue after the seroma resolves because it really is quite swollen the entire length of the scar, so when it is deflated and soft permanently I doubt it will do this as well?
I was desperate to find a high necked camisole to cover both the concave area and the scar/foob for when I bent forward, as I have just returned to the gym and will be leaning right down quite regularly. Anyway I was thrilled to find a beautiful stretchy lace bralette at Target for AU$15 - I am in Australia so unsure if this helps you US and Canadian girls much? The added benefit of it is that the whole thing is quite firm so it is added security for holding the foob in place! And I read on these boards of a cheap swimming foob which I've used pinned to my normal bathers, but with a rash vest over the top. It is the scrunchie that you use to wash with. So for my aqua class I've been pinning the scrunchie top and bottom onto cup of bathers, putting bralette over for added hold, then covering with a rash vest. It's worked really well. I like to sunbathe (naughty I know!) so I will probably buy proper mastectomy bathers and a swimmin prosthesis at some stage, but this is fine for aqua class right now.
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Hi Sara,
Sorry to hear that you won’t be able to see your doctors until April! I know what you mean, there was a reassuring, stay on track to healing, when you see them regularly. They are your team. Still, if something comes up that you’re not comfortable about with respect to your health, you can contact them and see them sooner, I believe. Good news —you are recovering so well that you are liberated from the doctors office a bit! :-)
You said breast cancer runs in your family. Have you had the BRCA genetic test? You may wish to do that. I would recommend it...did it even though I was only one in my family, that I know of anyway. You may recall Angelina Jolie having her double mastectomy for preventative action, similar situation. My OBGYN said that if I was positive they would not only do a mastectomy on the other side, but remove the ovaries as well because of concern of ovarian cancer. I was negative on the test. If you haven’t already, you may wish to look at some posts here about BRCA gene tests and see what others have done. Maybe there are new treatments
I just ordered this month a small white Tata from Tatas to Go. Its a different fabric, but still soft, sturdy and breathable mesh. I will remove some of the beads because its a little full, but easy to do. They do stay put pretty well, maybe because they flex and mold to the concave chest wall when pressed inside a bra. I got a new regular, unpocketed bra this month and gave it a whirl. The Tata stayed put so happy about that.
If my other breast was smaller and didn’t create quite the hump on my chest, I’d feel better about going out half flat. However, wearing sports bra does help compress it a bit and I noticed that loose solid color shirts may be better at not drawing attention to it. Do you find it that way as well?
That was really nice that the kids were so welcoming when you returned and didn’t notice the difference! :-)
I am a cataloguer in a library, so mainly just deal with people that I work directly with. Now that I think about it, I went half flat to work after my surgery a couple times and no one said a word about my asymmetrical appearance! Did your colleague make you feel uncomfortable? I hope not!
I did surf some sites earlier this month and found clothing places that are unfortunately not in the states. One place that had some nice dresses was JamuAustralia dot com. Expensive but pretty! I don’t wear dresses much but it would be nice to have one. :-) They have pocketed dresses so you don’t need to wear a bra with the dress!
We went camping last weekend and I see more of that in my future, wearing more casual clothes. I did skip wearing the prosthesis most of the trip and it was fine. No one noticed, that I could tell. Something about being in nature...so much more to appreciate with tall trees and wildlife. Good for the soul.
I hope you are feeling well and strong...keep positive and thank you for sharing your experiences. It does help me to adjust my own mindset living half flat.
Hugs to you,
Lunaru
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You both have to include Moe’s bookstore! Awesome bookstore! But, Powell’s in Portland is pretty amazing too. :-
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Hi Lunaru,
You are right about Moe's bookstore it is a great store. I also like Half Price Books too. That is wonderful that you work at a Library I love my local Library it is a great place to read and relax. What do you like most about your job. Glad you enjoyed your camping trip be around nature and wildlife can be very calming. How did you feel going out half flat with all the animals?
I found that when I wore buttoned Hawaiian shirts I didn't notice that I was missing a boob. Sometimes I will wear more fitting clothing and I can see i only have one breast I get a little said for a minute. But I remind myself that this is my new normal in how I look and I should still love myself and not worry about what other people think.
How was it for you going back to work after your MX?
My job was very supportive I got out of doing a lot of things for the first half of the school years like not lifting children or changing dippers it was great! The only issues I had was dealing with people asking me questions or making comments that were meant to be supportive, but I didn't see it that way. I had one co-worker come up to be and feel my MX chest wall. Someone else asked me why I wasn't wearing a breast prosthesis. Someone else was trying to make me feel better and said, "Oh wow you look great it's like nothing ever happened." At the time I wasn't feeling all that great because of all my nerve pain and dealing with Side Effects from Tamoxifen. I think I am just extra emotional now a days and things that wouldn't have bothered me before do now.
At the end of the day though I can find the LOL moments. Like when one of my preschool students who is 4. It was nap time and I was rubbing her back and she was touching my left breast and she said, "Ms Sara your tummy is really big." I told her it was my breast she would touching and she insisted that it was my tummy. I took everything I had not to laugh. I also learned my lesson and not to argue with a 4 year old.
I hope your new Ta Tas To Go work out well for you and are comfortable. Please let me know how it works out for you. I sent away for a Knitted Knocker the other day, so it will be interesting to see/feel how it works. I also wanted to tell you that I looked up Matuschka and I found her art work and the photo of her showing her MX scar in the New York Time magazine. I was so inspired by her bravery, and her sculptures and photos were amazing such beauty!
I am so glad that your genetic testing came back negative that is the best news ever! I had genetic testing done after my MX surgery my BS was wonderful and ordered a full panel of 34 different hereditary cancers including BRCA 1 and 2 and everything came back negative I was so happy. I am thinking about getting tested again in a few year just to see if things have changed and they have found new genes. You are right about the doctors office visits it is kind of nice to not go all the time. I guess I am still so attached to them that when I see them more often it makes me and my left boob feel better know there is someone checking in on both of us. I did find out that if i really need to see someone I could see my BS and MO's nurse practitioners, so that is reassuring.
Wishing you all the best it taking small steps going half flat. I guess one of the only good things about being half flat is you can play dress up with foobs or dress down and wear nothing at all. So we have options. Speaking of dresses I hope you can find one that you like. I am not much of a dress person, but it is only nice to have a dress to wear every now and then. Some one should just make clothes for us wonderful half flat women!
Any other hot spots you recommend in Berkeley I am going there tomorrow.
Hugs,
Sara
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Hi Raque510,
All the places you mentioned are wonderful and just true classic Berkeley. I wish you all the best up in Portland and hope you can make it back to the Bay Area every now and then to visit.
It sound like you have a wonderful doctor who really cares about your well being. When is your appointment? I hope it goes well and that you are able to get what you want that will bring you happiness.
Wishing you all the best with boobs and life too.
Hugs,
Sara
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Hi BellaTassie15,
Wishing you all the best in your recovery from your mastectomy. I understand how you feel about all the extra skin being removed. I had to have a lot of extra skin taken as well. You are right that when you look back it was for the best to make sure they got all of it. Glad to hear that you have been able to start back up at the gym again. Have you been able to do anything else that brings you joy? Thank you for suggesting the braletts I will look into that $15 is not bad.
How are things going for you this week?
Wishing you well.
Hugs,
Sara
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Hi Sara,
The library is a nice space to work in, but alas, the times they are a’changing. The people I work with were pretty supportive and told me to take as much time as needed. I couldn’t wait to return and it was nice because work took your mind off the cancer bit. No 4 year olds to argue with LOL! Still, now, I would rather be retired and camping :
I’m very happy to hear that your gene tests were negative—hooray! You must’ve been so relieved!
I just read an article here about how I should get a DEXA bone scan every 2 years. I guess I have had bone scans, but not sure it was a DEXA? Have to check into that. It’s recommended for premenopausal women who had tamoxifen-induced menopause. Diagnosed in my early 40s, jettisoned into menopause; 5 years after tamoxifen completed, had like 5 minutes of premenopausal life, then fell into menopause again! For 12 years, struggled with the hot flashes...yeah, welcome to our world, eh?...but finally this year, I felt coldness once more. I can wear hats and turtleneck sweaters again!
Matuschka was so inspiring...seems a shame she felt like she had to do reconstruction. She really tried to raise awareness for women struggling with the scars of breast cancer, our asymmetry...turning it around to say she’s still feels beautiful in spite of all she’s suffered.
So, when you go half flat, what kind of support do you find most comfortable? Sports bra or camisole? I like the Tatas...they do stay put in the usual bra! Knitted knocker is very comfy! But, it will move around if not restrained in pocket bra, unless you attach it to bra cup somehow. It may rise up a little higher than other breast due to its lightness, but that doesn’t bother me much...doubt anyone notices.
I don’t wear dresses much anymore, but like to have one or two to slip on during warm days. Of course right now I hear wind gusts and maybe hail, earlier, so wouldn’t want to wear one now! Truth be told, love my jeans the best. It’s nice at my job, we can wear almost whatever we wish. I worked for a corporate office one time and retail...both had strict dress codes! Actually, I wonder how an organization would treat a BC survivor with a uniboob...if they decided to go half-flat? I hope they don’t give survivors a hassle!
Sorry this message missed your trip to Berkeley. I do recall a fabulous vegan Ethiopian restaurant near the university...can’t remember name, but food was delicious!
Stay strong and enjoy life!
Lunaru
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Hi Lunaru,
You are my Matuschka now. I have enjoyed our conversations you have helped me get out of my BC moments and remember how to enjoy the world around me.
I hope you will soon be able to have your retirement before things get to crazy with too many changes. How far off are you from going camping full time.
Oh don't get me started on Thank you Tamoxifen train I've been on it for 5 months now and it sure is an interesting ride. My main side effects are my ovaries hurt every day but it has come down a bit has time has passes, but now I have a lot of leg cramps. I have been trying to drink water more and walk to help with that. It sure is interesting how one little pill can change your whole life for the better and worse at the same time.
I am so sorry that you didn't get a break after Tamoxifen before you were thrown into hot flash land for the long run that sucks! How did you feel about getting BC at such a young age? What helped you get through 5 years of our friend Tamoxifen? What side effects did you have on Tamoxifen? Glad you can finally feel the cold! again.
Good question about bra support going half flat. I have been trying different things out. The other day i wore a sports bra with my new knitted knocker that I got the other day. The bra supported both well, but at the end of the day the bra added to much pressure to my Mastectomy side which hurt. So today i went to the grocery store with nothing on i just wore a sweat shirt. I like camisoles because they don't put to much pressure on my chest wall but they don't provide a lot of support. I went to the Coobi bra website today and found that they had camisoles with built in bras with pockets and shelf bras too. I am thinking of ordering some just to try them out. I think they cost about $24 which isn't to bad since I have seen other places charge almost $50 just for one camisole. I like my knitted knocker but I think I need to get another one that is one cup bigger I ordered a b cup but think a c cup would work better. What size Knocker did you get?
Yes, I was so happy to get the negative genetic test results back. All I have to worry about now is having ADH (Atypical Ductal Hyperplasia) which puts me at a slightly higher risk of getting BC again, but it's only 4% so hope Tamoxifen will take care of that part.
I love my jeans too and I am not much of a dress person myself casual clothing is what I enjoy wearing the most. I know it was raining a lot lately and the hail was crazy. I would hope too that the companies would treat us Half Flat BC ladies with the respect and allow us to wear what feel the most comfortable.
Not to worry about missing the trip to Berkeley I am going there again in a week or so I think I know which restaurant you are talking about. What else do you like to do for fun when you aren't camping?
I hope you have a great week and enjoy the break we have from the rain.
Hugs,
Sara
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I don't mind being half flat. I do wear a puffy in my bra, but sometimes, depending on what I put on, things can look lopsided. I try to buy clothes that have necklines and patterns that minimize the visual effect. BS is not an option for me. I'm dealing with active cancer. I look at the problem being half flat as a minor issue. Some folks are dealing with missing arms or legs, and they cope - so can we. If anyone is noticing that things are not matching up, they're not sharing that with me. The important thing is that your cancer is being handled.
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I'm having my mastectomy on April 27 with axillary node dissection. I'm TNBC, have had five grueling months of chemo, and head to surgery with a sense of "finally" (and dread). And I'm almost 64 years old, happily married to the best, most supportive husband in the world for 38 years. My question - any older ladieson here with what my PS calls "large, pendulous breasts"? My healthy side is 38DDD. Yes, she's big, and when I'm one-sided, there will be no hiding the difference.
1. Thinking about going flat on mastectomy side anyway. Tired of treatments, headed to 6 weeks of radiation and probably Xeloda (pill chemo for trip negs) for six months. Just don't want to put my body through more.
2. But . . . always been "well endowed" since breasts grew in. PS wants to do TE with implant replacement and reduction of healthy side. I'm not excited about the TE or implant surgery. I've lost 30 pounds, have 25 more to go, and will probably go down to maybe a 36DD. Still big. Maybe yes to reduction surgery?
I welcome your thoughts. I live in Atlanta, GA, so don't have all those Bay Area resources. I appreciate all the good information about online resources and other info I've found here. Thank you!
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Hi Everyone - I'm glad this thread exists!
I joined the half-flat club a few weeks ago when my TE was removed due to recurrent/active cancer in my right breast. My left breast is natural and large. The size difference is pretty significant - I am too sore for a knitted knocker right now, but I hope I can wear one after I heal from my most recent surgery. In the meantime I've been disguising the size difference with loose fitting clothes, scarves, patterns, etc., like others here have said.
I don't know what I'll do for the long-term yet, but in some ways it'd be nice to just stay half flat. I'm worn out from so many surgeries in a short period of time, and my reconstruction options are limited to the more invasive flap procedures. Sometimes I think I'll go flat on both sides, but even doing an unnecessary mastectomy on my healthy side seems like too much after everything I've been through.
Anyway, I'm sure my feelings on it will evolve, so for right now I'm just focusing on healing and treating the cancer.
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Hellos & Hugs, Everyone.
I wanted to report back with some of my half-flat news. I had a consult with my plastic surgeon regarding a unilateral reduction on my non-mx side Wednesday, Feb 28th. She was just on the same page as I was from the start, and we essentially planned out the surgery right then and there, though she was unable to get me on the schedule. I agreed to be put on the cancellation-call-list. I was in surgery on Tuesday, March 6th. Surgery went well, though long. I was checked into the hospital at noon, and home by 10pm. Recovery was more painful than it was with the mastectomy, but the process was more tedious this time around though less hasty. I bruised massively, and swelling was very slow to go down. Drains were out in 2 days, and I was able to change the dressing myself every week or so until this past Thursday when the steri-strips were removed for good! The swelling is fairly minor at this point, though there are some firmer patches around the nipple (they created a flap to anchor it), and I have sensation...probably more than I did previously. My PS and her PA tell me I shouldn't expect to really see or feel the final outcome for about a year. Still, I am certain this was the right choice for me and I am so incredibly grateful for the understanding and consideration of my plastic surgeon, and the support of my family.
So far, this has turned out to be near miraculous for my mental well-being, and my self-image. I feel as if I was nearing a sort of precipice a few months out of treatment where the mental and emotional weight of the past year was bearing down on me. I had lost quite a bit of weight and gaining energy back but just felt that in addition to some emerging PTSD, the physical discrepancy was reminding me of and adding to this burden--front and center and too obvious to easily "camouflage." And then "camouflaging" was cumbersome, awkward, frustrating and physically painful. I can tell you, therapy is 100% in my future, but moving forward with this procedure was like shedding so much emotional baggage, it's almost unbelievable. Contentedness was not exactly what I expected, so I'm cherishing it.
At this point I am still undecided about recon. My perspective on living "half-flat" has changed completely, and I don't feel unnecessarily rushed to figure out what I want to do in regard to further body mods for the remainder of my hopefully long life. My biggest concern now is what to do with my old bras and prosthesis. Burning them would be cathartic, but that's too wasteful for me! If anyone has suggestions, they are welcomed.
Be well, Sisters.
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I notice many of you like the coobi bra. I checked out the website and wasn't sure which bra size to order. I'm about a 32 DD or 32D on the natural side. Anyone have a recommendation of bra style and size to order
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I’m a half flat DD, and frankly, it’s getting old. I had my umx in July 2017. my best solution has been wearing a nursing sports bra. It flattens my remaining breast a little, and makes it easier to pad the other side the right amount. I think I am pretty well adjusted to the situation, but I am planning to have DIEP reconstruction. That said, if someone told me I couldn’t do reconstruction, I don’t think it would be the end of the world. I miss wearing underwire bras and the lift/support they provide. I am wondering if there’s a way to make a bra that has underwire on one side and something gentler on the other.....
L.
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Leatherette,
Not a bad idea on the 1/2 underwire custom bra! I'm sure many a lady has hacked this one with an old bra--or at least I hope so!--but if you were so inclined to run with the idea tailored to the half-flat community, I'm sure you would have interest! That's a kickstarter I would definitely support! I never really found that magic "sweet spot" bra I've heard so much about (supportive, comfortable, attractive, dare I say even sexy?!) pre-dx at DD. The hunt is a little more complex these days, though I haven't figured out where I land just yet on cup or band, am relishing the *mandatory* absence of underwire in my life for as long as I can!
Raque
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Good Evening,
Well all of that is fine. I had iissues with bras and sizing long before my diagnosis. It's different now. I have a fear about intimacy or getting close with the opppsite sex, or having to undress. I mean I'm okay on some level since my diagnosis in 2010. I'm somewhat comfortable but conscienous of the missing part of me. How do you feel okay enough to explore with relationships without feeling you have to give up ever being in one because of the part that is missing about me. I realize like there is so much more to me and I have some many other great qualities. How do you adrress the issue or when is it appropriate without feeling a sense of inadequacy?
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Hi all.
I am only 3 weeks out of surgery -now being “half flat”. So far, I’m not having any emotional issues. I have small breasts to begin with and I can always go back for the reconstruction if I choose. I just needed to get back to life ASAP as a single Mom and supporter of my family. So I had to choose the shortest recovery time. the surgery and recovery up until recently had been no issues, I felt right on track. My scar area was never “flat”. I figured maybe some swelling? At my 2 week post op I was told I have a large hematoma under the skin where my breast was removed. It honestly looks like I have an Implant! Very discouraging, as the surgeon is suggesting leaving it alone and letting nature take its course allowing the body to reabsorb it. This can take weeks to months! I’ve read some get them surgically removed, or even drained. It is not painful, but is uncomfortable. Hopefully it doesn’t get any bigger, as there isn’t much more room. THat makes me nervous. It is keeping me from wanting to do things .Any similar stories, or advice very welcome!!!
Thanks so much!!
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Sorry you have a seroma, and such a big one. After my bilateral mastectomy, I had seromas on both sides. My breast surgeon said that so long as they weren't causing me pain, the best route was to let them reabsorb on their own. Aspiration always carries a risk of infection. The one on my left side dissipated suddenly one morning after three weeks. The one on my right side (where I'd previously had radiation) took six months to almost disappear, but a tiny amount of fluid remained for three years (!) until it, too, suddenly disappeared. But I had no pain or other issues during that time.
It sounds as if your seroma is significantly bigger than what I was dealing with. If it's really uncomfortable and/or if it continues to grow, I would press your doctor about aspirating it (draining it). The risk of infection is very small and it sounds as if you'd be very relieved to get rid of it.
Let us know how it goes.
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somewhere- I can understand where you’re coming from. I guess as long as you are open upfront about it, it shouldn’t come as a surprise. And nothing says you have to get “completely” undressed. Sexy nighties, or bras, or negligees can help. Lights off can help too. That is of course being upfront first. Hope this helps
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thank you for your response! I am seeing the surgeon tomororw afternoon!
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Thanks to this thread, I have just ordered from Tatas to Go. I am less than three weeks post mastectomy and have found that wearing a soft form in a sports bra provdes comforting pressure on my chest. But the fiberfill form rides up. The microbead form rides up a bit less but in a reasonably snug sports bra it looks like a bagel with no hole. I think the heavier beads in the Tatas model may work better. I certainly hope so!
I have also ordered a few new t-shirts with busy multicolor floral designs to distract from my uneven breasts. I remind myself that I have never had breasts that matched in size.... although they did hang similarly -- an effect I have not yet achieved with a prosthesis.
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