How have you adjusted to being Half Flat?
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Hi Erica, thank you for your reply. I'm sorry you developed nerve pain but I'm glad it stopped after 3 weeks. I have been to your website before but now when I try to go there, it says you have to allow notifications to even look at it. I don't normally allow things like that before I can even look at a site and I don't know what kinds of notifications it means. I would like to read the reviews.
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Beeline - in response to your earlier post, there are a few things that helped me feel better. One was getting some new clothes that work well for my new, half-flat body. Some of my old clothes just don't work anymore, but a few new, well-selected outfits made a big difference!
Another thing that helped me was getting a prosthetic. Not everyone needs or wants one, but for me it was preferable. In addition to looking like my old self in clothes, I also feel more balanced. (It might take a while before you can tolerate a prosthetic comfortably, and that's ok. I wore knitted knockers for months after surgery until I could tolerate a "real" prosthetic.)
Of course I miss my breast, and wish I had never gotten cancer, but it is what it is. I try to love and appreciate the body I still have, and the "upsides" of being half-flat. For example, my tissue expander was uncomfortable, and it's nice not to have a foreign object wedged under my pec muscle anymore. I can sleep on my side and my stomach again! Also, my only recon options now are flap procedures, which are daunting because function is extremely important to me. My right chest and arm have lost some function, but that was necessary to get rid of the cancer. I'm glad the rest of my body is still strong, capable, and pain free. Anyway, it helps to find silver linings where we can.
I may still get reconstruction one day, or I may not. I really don't know. It's something we can revisit later if we really want to. Give yourself time to adjust. I'm still adjusting too, and I don't have all the answers, but those things have helped me.
Hopefully others will chime in on this too. :-)
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beeline, I too wanted to respond. I am now about 8 weeks out. When I first looked I was in tears. Then it was so difficult with drains and finding clothes. I bought the post surgical camisole and that really helped. I got by with a knitted knocker and Coobie camisole at first. I couldn’t stand anything for more than an hour or two. Now I can go most of the day and that has helped that I look more like myself. It is such a rollercoaster and it is an ugly disease, but I know it is gone now. So adjusting slowly, the first times seem hard, buying a bathing suit, trying to find bras and prosthesis. The exercises have helped me with range of motion, and walking every day helps how I feel. Give yourself time to adjust. I too don’t know if I will have reconstruction one day, I feel I have done enough at this point and trying to deal with Arimidex. We are here for each other
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Joanne and Aussie-Cat, thanks so much for letting me know about that problem. I'll check into it asap. It happened to me earlier yesterday, too, but only once, so I thought it was a fluke. People are constantly trying to hack the site (maybe because the word "breast" is in it), but I've never had a problem like this.
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buttonsmachine and bennybear, thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. I'm sure I don't have to explain to anyone here the shock I felt at seeing the violence done to what used to be my breast... somehow my chest just looked so vulnerable, like I should have been able to protect it. The feelings were so unexpected, it really took me by surprise!
It has been a few days now and I am no longer so shocked or sad. Adjusting, I guess, as we all do. I will try to do some shopping as soon as I think I won't sob in the store
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Since I posted about BreastFree.org the other day, some of you may have tried to visit the site (I know Joanne and Aussie-Cat did). It turns out that a bad virus that's going around had infected the website. I've cleaned that up and the site should be fine now. Before, a lot of pop-up messages crowded the site when it was opened. So long as you didn't click on to "allow" anything, you should be fine. I'm so sorry about this. It's really depressing that people try to wreak such havoc and it especially hits hard when the hacking affects websites that are actually trying to help people.
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I've been half-flat for 1 year and for me it was a surprisingly easy life adjustment. There was shock right after the mastectomy but that went away quickly for me. I wore the bras I got in the hospital with a soft stuffy for several weeks until my sensitivity went down,then got several pocket bras and a prosthesis. I love my prosthetic breast! It amazes me even to this day how much of the feeling of having breasts seems to come from the pectoral muscles, which luckily I still feel fully. When I have my prosthesis in I don't feel like I'm missing a breast, other than of course no sensation of a nipple. I do still get anxious though if I run into people without my bra and prosthesis in (like neighbors outside) - I feel very self-conscious at those times. I have a wife who has been a wonderful support for the whole ride so that has certainly helped too.
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Erica, well done for cleaning up your website. I agree it's depressing when people try to hack websites that are trying to help people. I've been reading your website tonight and it's very well organised, insightful and informative, thank you. I learnt a lot reading about post surgery bras and forms but some of the links don't lead anywhere, even for some products that are still being sold. I thought you might want to know that.
chloe2007, I'm so glad that after your mastectomy it was a surprisingly easy life adjustment. I've never heard anyone say they love their prosthetic breast before. That's lovely!
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Hi Erica. Congratulations on having a very cool website and blog. I was reading your page about finding a good physical therapist. About 6 months after the radiation ended, I got tightness and minor cording.
I KNOW that if I had been rebuilt, I'd be blaming the implants for everything now. Just knowing that it's not related to something under my skin gives me mental relief. I feel more in control.
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Bennybear and beeline....I am almost at 4 weeks from my surgery. My best surprise was waking up in a nice white bra....the surgeon just put a little gauze in the empty side. My 2 drains were safety pinned onto the bra which made them easy to deal with. The first time I looked I was kind of shocked..Didnt realize the incision had to be so large...almost to my back. When I took my shower I wouldnt look. Now I can look but to me it is still ugly...hope everyone continues to heal.. this site has been so helpful to me..
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cfrank, it is a shock for sure, and I too was very surprised how long it was. I can look now and at least once past the shock I think of it like my battle scar. Great idea about the bra and the drains!
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Aussie-Cat, thanks for alerting me that some links aren't working anymore. The companies are constantly changing their links so sometimes I don't realize that they're not working until I do an update. I'm glad you liked the site otherwise.
chloe2007, I agree with Aussie-Cat -- wonderful that you like wearing your breast form. I love how lifelike silicone feels and looks. Unfortunately, sometimes I perspire under the forms, which I find uncomfortable enough that I don't wear my silicone forms very often. I had a bilateral mastectomy, with radiation on one side. That side doesn't perspire, so it's only the other side that bothers me. A surprising positive effect of radiation.
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Erica, it must be annoying when companies change their links and there's no way of knowing other than clicking on each one!
It is surprising that radiation can stop perspiration. I'm sorry that the silicone forms make you perspire on one side. Is that a "cool" kind of form? Would it help to put anti-perspirant in the area?
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I have never been interested in reconstruction. I know I could still consider it but it just hasn't been anything I wanted or gave much thought to. Is there anyone else who has this same mindset? I know the majority of women give it more consideration than I have...but just wondering if anyone else shares my less common preference?
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Hi Chloe,
Me too. When my surgeon suggested we could talk to a plastic surgeon about reconstruction, I said no immediately. My mother never considered reconstruction 40 years ago. I never gave it a second thought.
I am surprised at how much I'm aware of my ribs now, a year out. I rarely wear a bra with knitted knocker. I seldom wear the prosthesis.
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chloe2007, I wasn't interested in reconstruction either. I had large breasts that I didn't like before and the idea of not having to get up each day and put on a bra straight away was great! I think I look much better flat than I looked before, although I was planning to wear soft forms after surgery. Since I developed nerve pain after 2 weeks, I haven't been able to wear them and now I'm a lot more used to being flat. I'd still like to have the option of wearing forms at times but since it's winter here, it hasn't been too much of a problem so far.
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Aussie-Cat,
I've tried a couple of different "cool" forms over the years. They're a little better than regular forms, but not better enough to prevent perspiration if it's warm out or especially if I have a hot flash. I asked my dermatologist and she said to go ahead and use an antiperspirant on my chest, but I can't bring myself to do it -- somehow, putting aluminum salts right where I had cancer doesn't feel right. Silly, really, since I put the antiperspirant under my arms every day.
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Erica, I appreciate you telling me your experience of "cool forms" over the years. I'm sorry they haven't worked out better for you. I can understand you not wanting to put aluminum salts right where you had cancer, but what about some more natural kind of antiperspirant that doesn't have aluminium? Or you could try your usual deodorant just once to see if it even works on your chest.
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We needn't buy into the half flat label, we are not landscapes, we are living persons.
I would use the code UMX-N for unilateral mx, no reconstruction. Unless there already exists another code.
Life goes on fine. We feel sadness but will learn to adjust and thrive. Change is the norm, not the exception. A fantastic change is that now there is effective treatment so we get to survive and live to complain about change
I am happy to be alive, happy to have a breast left at least for the foreseeable future, happy to not have concerns about reco maintenance and outcomes and have a wide choice of external prostheses. I feel great!
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oxygen18, I'm glad you're doing so well. I think what you said is really profound for all of life: 'Change is the norm, not the exception'!
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Love your outlook oxygen! I like the term Amazon, power and strength! But whatever the words you are so right that change is the norm and we are here!
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Hi Ladies,
I have enjoyed reading all of your posts this past week. Thank you for sharing your experiences with me.
Aussie-cat, Beeline and Bennybear I wish you all the best in your recovery. Bennybear, I too found kitted knockers to be very helpful during the time that my chest wall didn't wanted anything on it for long periods of time.
Beeline, I think one thing that has helped me heal from the loss of my breast was allowing myself to feel all the emotions that I was feeling at the time. I got mad and did a lot of crying long and hard at times. I found that after a good long cry I felt better. I also found getting back to doing things that I enjoy to be helpful I starting painting again it was great therapy. Coming here to BC.org helped me through some very difficult moments. I don't think I will every truly get over losing my breast I will always miss it, but with time it will get better. I am very grateful to have my health.
Bottonsmachine, Thank you for sharing the "love your body" I think that is something we all need to be reminded of.
Erica, I have gone to your website before and found it very helpful thank you for all that you do.
Oxygen18, Thank you for being so inspirational I plan on putting your code UMX-N for unilateral mx, no reconstruction somewhere in my room to remind myself to appreciate my left breast and my overall health in general. You have so many wonderful words of wisdom thank you for sharing them with all of us.
I had a question I wanted to ask everyone how do you feel going out in public in all your flat or half flat glory? I have no problem going out and not wearing a prosthesis. I feel comfortable in my own skin and my one breast.
Thank you all for sharing your stories and for your support it means so much to me.
Hugs to all,
Sara
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sm627, thank you for your kind wishes. It sounds like you've done well in coming to terms with a difficult situation.
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Just found this thread. I have been a uniboober for 6 years, I am now 64. I did not do reconstruction as it was recommended that I wait a year following MX as I had inflammatory breast cancer. A year later - elective surgery - no way - my body had been through enough. I am a B cup ( so I know this makes it easier) and I seldom wore a bra prior to cancer.As I tell my daughter I went to college when we were burning our bras not wearing them!
RE: dressing The cooler seasons here in the northeast are easier. Sweaters, scarves, vests I have also gravitated to loose fitting tunic style tops Summer presents a bit more of a challenge - but seldom wear a bra even then. Again, tunic style tops. I have had some comments and stares. My attitude is the hell with anyone else - I am happy and comfortable in my own skin. That being said, I do work and am more cautious about how I present in a professional environment. I do have a foob, but not sure I could even tell you where it is right now.
To make it all more interesting - divorced and trying to date LOL. So far it has not been an issue
This is a tough one - lots of things to consider etc. It is finding what is right in your new normal
Best
Nel
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Hi Nel,
Thanks for sharing I love your to hell with everyone else I will remember that. How has dating been for you have the men you have dated been supportive and when did you tell them about your BC journey?
How often do you wear your foob to work? I wear mine sometimes and other days I go in without it. Do you feel comfortable going into work without your foob?
Hugs
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Hello Everyone,
Hello Ladies in here I just join this topic to gather ideas about this situation we have now..I had mastectomy left breast Feb this year. I seem to have a hard time thinking what to put on my other breast I still used bra but mostly I don't hook it anymore because its hurting sometimes I just put a sock just to make it even. Lol
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YangSainst the sock is such a good idea .I had my UMX this 14 August .It was initially a terrible feeling Today was the first day that I left my house with my one boob Surprisingly it did not feel so bad .In fact I plan for reconstruction later but now I am worried that what if I get adjusted to being half flat .Life actually is a joke .Anything unexpected can happen
Anyway I loved the idea of sock .I may try it
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Dhanno,sometimes I used handkerchief lol, I will start Rad's next week..
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hello honey I went thru reconstruction after Lmast had expander in then one filling went home and I developed a very high fever my Fiancee at time now husband took me to E R and went into surgery again to remove expander body rejected it as foreign body. So since bout 1994 ice worn prothesis no problems I wish I had done so in beginning.. But it helps me to help others going thru so it was meant to be. God Bless Us All. msphil idc stage 2 0\3 nodes 3mo chemo before n after Lmast got married was planning this when diagnosed then 7 wks rads and 5 yrs on Tamoxifen.
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Yang: My scar flattened out and became very smooth after the radiation.
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