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Remembering Kandy 1/18/2018

tarheelmichelle
tarheelmichelle Member Posts: 248
edited February 2018 in May Their Memory Live On

LINK TO OBITUARY AND FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS FOR OUR FRIEND

http://m.legacy.com/dignity-memorial/obituary-preview.aspx?n=Kandie-Hatfield&lc=7294&pid=187906517&mid=7732027

There is also an online guest book. Don’t feel shy about signing it - I’m sure it will comfort her husband and children to hear from us. I am planning to attend the visitation. I have to go alone and it’s a 45 minute drive, so I may not attend the graveside service the next day; just depends on how I feel.

*****************************************************

This post is to remember Kandy, a longtime member here, almost 8 years!

She passed away today (1/18/2018.

A year ago, she created a post titled “Unfortunately things are going downhill." She detailed her final treatments, but more than that, she gave out so much compassion and understanding to others with breast cancer.

I connected with Kandy because we were both Stage IV, and we discovered we lived near each other in NC. We were able to get together a couple of times, the last time was at her home in Greensboro over the summer. We lounged on floats in her pool and had some carefree hours. I met her adult daughter, who has Down Syndrome, and her husband, Hal. She has two other adult children, and enjoyed time with her baby grandson.

We last texted her a little over a week ago. She wasn't feeling well and was frustrated that there were no treatment options left. Her husband messaged me last night that she had been admitted to the hospital, with liver problems and in great pain. A snowstorm hit yesterday and because travel was unadvised, I planned to drive the 45 minutes to the hospital today to be with her. Her husband messaged me that Kandy passed at 12:27 today.

And that's so like Kandy, putting as little burden on others as possible,leaving us suddenly, after a snowstorm, requiring no effort from any of her friends to help her transition.

Please consider this YOUR space to share joys and sorrows associated with Kandy.

I will miss you, sweet, sunny Kandy. You never wanted sympathy for yourself, but gave so much to so many of us.


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Comments

  • runor
    runor Member Posts: 1,612

    Too soon. Prayers to her family.

  • snickersmom
    snickersmom Member Posts: 599

    My heart aches for her family. She is pain-free but that doesn't make it any easier for them. We have lost a wonderful person but the heavens have gained an angel. There's an old saying that the stars are holes in the sky where our loved ones look down on us and let us know that they are there, loving us and watching over us.

    Thanks for being such a great friend to Kandy.

  • legomaster225
    legomaster225 Member Posts: 356

    I feel sadness and anger. I will keep her and her family in my prayers. Her posts were some of the first I read on this board after being diagnosed about a year ago. She was a strong, kind,and smart woman. She will be missed!

  • tarheelmichelle
    tarheelmichelle Member Posts: 248

    imageHere is a photo she shared with me from a beach trip in September, with her daughter. She knew I going through a rough time with my treatment and her sunny smile brought me so much comfort.

    Those of you who are grieving with me, may it help you to remember Kandy as the sum of her life, She was weak in her last days, but she had many happy seasons in the sun with her family and friends.

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 7,691

    We are joining in to share our condolences on the loss of dear Kandy. Sending lots of love and light to all who new and cared for Kandy. She will be sorely missed.

    --The Mods

  • Like Lego - her posts were also some of the first I read when I was diagnosed. I have been following her journey since that point and was praying so hard over the past month that her markers would come down and she would feel better....I have been praying for all the ladies on her post that I see.....this is sad - and upsetting...I am and will continue to pray for her family and all that loved her....

  • farmerlucy
    farmerlucy Member Posts: 596

    Peace to you Kandy. Comfort for your family. Too young. Too soon.

  • ShetlandPony
    ShetlandPony Member Posts: 3,063

    I was dreading this news, fearing it would come soon. Let's all hold each other in our hearts as we grieve for our loss, and for her family's loss. Kandy's love for her family came through so clearly in her posts. That love does not die; may her family feel Kandy's love forever.

  • Lynnwood1960
    Lynnwood1960 Member Posts: 1,107

    As sick as she was and feeling so badly, Kandy still managed to reach out to us and to others that she knew were really struggling. Her posts were full of support and love. I know she worried so about her daughter. She will truly be missed by many. Still in shock over how quickly we lost her.

  • sandibeach57
    sandibeach57 Member Posts: 1,387

    This is a quote from Kandy. Even in her pain, she thought of others.

    "Lifting everyone in prayer, may God heal us all."

    How do you get more beautiful than that?

  • Beatmon
    Beatmon Member Posts: 617

    There are no words...

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,521

    I've been on BCO for just over a year now and these are beginning to hit hard, those I read about passing are now those I've had conversations and shared information with. I knew Kandy from the Downhill and Abraxane threads, she was always giving, advice, experience, etc. I really hoped her hospital stay was just a quick fix follow by a new plan :(

    Love to her friends and family here, there and everywhere


  • Artista964
    Artista964 Member Posts: 376

    A kind person gone too soon. May Kandy rest in peace. <3

  • finallyoverit
    finallyoverit Member Posts: 133

    Like many of you, I am speechless. When I was first dx stage iv and sought advice, comfort and knowledge from this site, Kandy's posts always stood out to me. Such compassion and love for all of us while she was going through her own personal hell. It was never about her. Learning this news of any of my BCO sisters hurts, this one really stings. Fly high, friend, finally free of this demon.

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 9,803

    My heart is aching, her family is in my thoughts. Truly have no words, but I have many tears. None of this makes sense at all. Seems like it's not even real. These threads are so helpful ......but other times.... they just break your heart...this is truly a tough loss..... Kandy is so special. ~M~ (I just can't use the word was because she always will be beautiful and special beyond this place).

  • Mominator
    Mominator Member Posts: 1,173

    Kandy was always helping and supporting everyone she met. She was very kind to me as I was helping my friend.

    Kandy was mom to a special needs child, and we shared some of those difficulties together.

    Kandy was a loving wife, mother, and grandmother, and a special friend to us all.

    Sending many prayers for Kandy, and her family.  



    PS: in both Kandy's avatar, and the picture above, she is wearing sunglasses. 

    Tarheel, you had posted once another picture without her sunglasses. I thought she looked very pretty without her sunglasses. 

  • 7of9
    7of9 Member Posts: 474

    I find her strong spirit and resilience so inspiring. She just said a few weeks ago how she drove and didn't feel this was the end. She gave out reassurance and prayers right up to the end. Helps make facing the unknown despite the pain and loss, just a little less terrifying. Thank you Kandy. God bless your family.

  • Lita57
    Lita57 Member Posts: 2,338

    I have no words. Devastated for her family. I was so hoping she could get some mileage out of another tx and have more time with her family.

    She is soaring with angels now.


  • tarheelmichelle
    tarheelmichelle Member Posts: 248

    Mominator, Kandy was lovely and had very expressive eyes. Here is a photo she sent me not too long ago. She was not much of a photo sharer herself but I'm sharing in hopes it may comfort those who knew her online, to see her smiling with her dear husband Hal

    image

  • HappyHammer
    HappyHammer Member Posts: 985

    Had the chance to read some of  Kandy's responses to people in other threads....RIP, Kandy....am sure that her legacy will live on in the way she helped others on BCO....she was amazing until her end.  Such a shock that she is gone given that she was so positive even when she was struggling so...I only can hope to be as positive and grateful and to be as thankful as she was....God bless her family and friends.

  • Yaelle
    Yaelle Member Posts: 38

    I have no words, only prayers for her and her family.

  • octogirl
    octogirl Member Posts: 2,434

    Kandy's caring and kindness came through in all of her posts, and she will be very missed. I will try to take her advice to enjoy the moment to heart. My deep condolences to her family and friends.

    Octogirl

  • jensgotthis
    jensgotthis Member Posts: 664

    Holding Kandy, her family, and all of us in my heart which is especially heavy today. Ronda, thank you for sharing the photos and her joy with us, and thank you for doing the difficult job of sharing the news.

  • BabyRuth
    BabyRuth Member Posts: 107

    So heartbroken to see this news about sweet Kandy. She was always thinking of others and advising us all to enjoy the moment. Prayers for her family.



  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 9,803

    beautiful picture of her and hubby. Just gorgeous smile and the happiness is obvious. My heart hurts. I thank you for sharing that lovely photo. It meant a lot to see her. I am still at such a loss for words. Such a loss, so not ok. So not fair. I am so angry at cancer. Her precious DH & DD and family,😪😢💔.

  • FridayYet
    FridayYet Member Posts: 17

    I learned so much about the MBC fight from reading her thread. Her kindness and compassion for others always shone through, no matter how much she was going through herself. May she rest in peace.

  • maureen1
    maureen1 Member Posts: 87

    God Bless sweet Kandy, and her family...she taught us so much about living life to the fullest each day...another beautiful wife, mother, grandmother and sister takben way too soon by this beast...RIP Angel 😓

  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 2,701

    My heartfelt condolences to Hal, Kandy's children, and everyone who loved her. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Kandy was loved and followed by so many here on BCO. We are all experiencing profound sadness at the passing of such a lovely, compassionate and caring woman. Deanna

  • Artista964
    Artista964 Member Posts: 376

    i followed her posts in her thread. Always thinking of others over herself. Devastated for her family. She's an angel now in heaven. RIP dear lady.