How to deal with my emotions during radiation treatments
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Hi Colliesalways,
My last radiation treatment is this coming Monday. Glad it will be over. I am so itchy on the thinnest part of my chest (between my breasts and up towards my sternum) from the treatments, despite all the creams I am using. I expect the sunburn-like rash will slowly subside over the next few weeks (I sure hope sooner!). Ever since my bad experience with the simulation, the therapists have been very good about preparing me for any deviation from the routine session, for which I'm relieved and thankful. Don't know how they stay so chipper when every patient they see clearly doesn't want to be there. I have a follow-up with my RO in January and at my visit last week, when I was given discharge instructions, I told her "I mean this in the nicest way, but after the f/u, I hope I never see you again." She and all ROs must hear this a lot.
Glad you are heading towards your f/u and can get on with life! Thanks for writing.
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arabians, your horses are beautiful, thanks for posting! I had to give up riding years ago due to back problems and after my last horse passed I haven't had another one on the place. Boy do I miss them, so I live my horse life vicariously through others!
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Collies where in CA are you? I am in NorCal Sacramento area. If you are near me, I would be happy to have you over to my boarding barn for some horse time. I gave up horses for 11 years when my kids were little, although my son started vaulting when he was 4 so at least I got to be around them a bit then. It was very hard for me to be horseless. There is nothing like having a soft nuzzle and whicker from a horse, it just seems to sooth the soul.
btw, I love collies too, but since all my pets are rescues, I have never owned a collie.
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Activewoman, only one more! I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, I remember well how relieved I was to be done! I burned pretty badly and it got worse that first week after. You know when your roasting a marshmallow over a fire and it catches fire? That's pretty much what I looked like lol. Not fun. But it's all healed now. I still have recurring, roving soreness and occasional intense itching which my surgeon says is normal and may or may not go away. Great. Wishing you well and a speedy recovery!
Arabians , sending you a pm so I don't hijack Activewomans thread lol.
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~~It feels so validating to know others have some of the same emotional feelings and thoughts, along with the same physical issues we are all dealing with :
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Nor Cal: It really does help a lot to come here and talk with others who are going through the exact same thing. I think many times medical professionals get so caught up in their day to day job of MEDICALLY treating us that they sometimes forget there is a huge EMOTIONAL component involved. And you just never know what emotions you are going to have in any given situation until you are there. Best wishes to you in your treatment journey!
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Hello! I’m back alas and have read all the posts! I feel all caught up with everyone .... and so happy to report tomorrow is my last of 32 rads treatments!!! I posted a long detailed reply in the ‘November 2020..’ rads board but I just wanted to comment here that I read and re-read these boards & receive so much strength from these posts! Thank you all
Collies and Arabians - I live fairly close to Sacramento ... if we wanted to actually plan arendezvous for some horse time and a safe/socially distanced visit that would be SO cool! 💯🙌🏻🌟
Seasons Greetings EVERYONE! 💟
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You asked what you can do to help get you through the four weeks of radiation. Based on my experience - see my profile below - radiation was the most difficult treatment emotionally. One advice that I have, is be nice to yourself during this difficult time. Make sure you reward yourself after each session: it can be any small thing you enjoy, like walk in the park, good dinner / coffee at a place you like if there’s any such place that is still open, a good movie that will make you smile, etc. Something you enjoy that will move your attention away from treatment and make you feel better.
Best of luck!
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@Activewoman...I agree with Muska. Radiation was extremely emotional for me and I struggled with it every day. Definitely do something nice for yourself, treat yourself with extra care, and know that you feelings (whatever they are) are okay and valid. Sending you lots of good wishes and gentle hugs.
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I have surgery on 1/6/21. I have a fobia of radiation. This has not helped. I see I need to ask a lot of questions. I wish you the best with your cancer journey.
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what? We have to have a tattoo of what? What other devastating things have to happen to me?
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Luv2walk, I’m so sorry that you are here, but you have found a great place for information and support. The tattoos are small dots. They are no bigger than a small freckle. They are used to help guide the therapist to get you properly set each day and ensure your radiation is is set to the right area. Honestly, they are small. Mine are on my back, but depending on how you are situated on the table for radiation, you may have them on either the front of the back. I was prone, or face down, so that’s why my tattoo markers where on my back. The tattoo is quick and really didn’t hurt. It felt like a pinprick and was quick.
Everyone is different, but for me the hardest part of radiation was the fatigue. But, it was also the last of my treatments. I already had chemo and surgery, so was worn down going in. Your RO will work with you to get the right creams that work for you to keep your skin well. If you don’t like what they recommend, keep asking. It took me a few tries to find the right cream for me.
It’s hard not to be sacred. We all know how you are feeling. You will get into a routine very quickly and there is no pain during the treatments. Mine were very quick...in and back to my car in less than 20 minutes.
I don’t know where you are in your diagnosis and treatment, but I’m happy to help with any questions. There are so many good people on this board, so keep reaching out. It sounds like you may be recently diagnosed. That is a very scary time, but you can get through this. If you can, also add your details to your signature. It will help the right people answer your questions best. I just wanted to jump as someone who just finished rads last week tosay you can do this.
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thank you your information helped. It seems like every time I turn around there is something I did not expect to hear. I do not like the idea of tattoos no matter the size but once again I will have to do what I have to do.
I was diagnosed 12/22/2020 and have a lumpectomy scheduled for 1/6/2021.
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Re tatoos, mine were very tiny. Now, over two years later I cannot find them. They have basically worn off or washed away! They are only remotely related to the tatoo body art that is so popular.
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Luv has deleted all her posts. If you go to her profile, there is nothing at all there. Sorry that we were unable to connect Luv.
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I am sorry. I deleted things because I do not understand how this works. Where to start a post, make favorites, etc. I have much more reading to do.
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luv2walk2, anyone can comment on other people's posts, so there is no reason to delete your comments.
My suggestion to you earlier today was that you start your own discussion thread, explaining your diagnosis and asking any questions you have, so that we can offer support to you. Starting your own thread is easy. Just go to whichever forum is appropriate (I suggested that the "Just Diagnosed" would be good) and click on the box where it says "Start a new Topic".
I hope you do that so that we can understand more about your diagnosis and offer support and advice as you move forward.
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Activewoman, I'm so sorry you had such difficulty with radiation. You are not the only one; I hated radiation. Chemo was bad but somehow felt more manageable than radiation. I am claustrophobic so my heart jumped every time the machine moved over my head. I also have vertigo that became active mid-treatment. Techs had to help me lay down and put me in position which I would then have to struggle to stop dizziness before it took me over. Exhausting! But, I got through it. I kept telling myself it was only for a short time and when I was really freaked, I would do deep breathing (which I had to do anyway for the treatment.) It helped me have a better grasp on managing scary situations. Best of luck to you.
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@ activewoman I feel the same way.i too feel violated by this entire process. From mammograms, ultrasounds, MRI's, Lymphoscintigraphy, Wire Loc, pre and post surgery, and office visits half naked have taken a toll on my mental health because I do feel violated. I can't concentrate on what information I am getting when I am in an open gown.I finally have had enough and when I last went to my Breast surgeon I refused to undress until we discussed my results and plan of care until it was time for the exam. I am extremely modest. At my first consult with the RO I did not undress until it was time for him to physically examine me. Maybe they have added something to my chart about how I feel. I had mapping done 6/24/2021 and advocated for myself. I asked them to keep me covered when they were not directly working on my breast area. They did. I did a total freak out when I saw the DOOR was WIDE OPEN. Really? People walking in the hallway. This upset me so much. But when I asked them very nicely to shut the door they did. I will continue to ask for what helps me to stay calm during these treatments. When I spoke to my therapist about these feelings she basically told me i won't care by the end of treatment. She is wrong and I have not seen her since she told me that. I don't think it was an appropriate response. But anyway, having simulation done on July 6th and treatment to start on July 7th. I will continue to advocate for my privacy and speak up to get what I need. As I have been told the staff are there for whatever I may need and to make me feel comfortable.
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