Well this sucks.
A few days ago I posted this in another thread:
“I'm just feeling f'ing ripped off. My tumor was 2.1 cm so barely into stage 2, with clean margins and no lymph node involvement. I took the nuclear option of BMX followed by chemo, because I was only 40 and wanted to minimize risk. I have taken tamoxifen every day. After 5 years my onc said the risk of recurrence was very low. I had all those stats with the happy 5 year survival rates. My onc never even sent me for imaging or routine blood tests because I'd had a BMX what was there to image? I adopted a baby at 45. I felt safe.
Now I've got a toddler and a lump under my arm and I'm reading that my risk didn't really go down after five years, it actually went up because I was hr/pr+ and her-. What the hell why weren't they at least giving me ultrasounds all this time? The lump could be something else, I've been having issues with my implants, but I'd really like to have been watched more carefully. I just applied for life insurance last month because I'm finally eligible again and I'm scared I'll be denied.”
I just had an ultrasound, and the doctor thinks it's nothing good. “There is a mass" she said. I'll go in for a PET scan and biopsy next week, hopefully Monday. I'm really pissed off.
She did say it looks like it's about 1.5 cm, and didn't look like something she would expect to be stage 4. If she had to guess it would be a local recurrence. I'm still pissed, but that's not as bad as it could be. I'll be able to get through the weekend without freaking out too much.
God damn it. (If you are offended by foul language you might want to block me.)