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Getting married this year and scared to death!!

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Merlot_itsme
Merlot_itsme Member Posts: 16
edited April 2021 in Not Diagnosed But Worried

Hello there! I'm 39 years old and just had my first mammogram a couple weeks ago. I was called back to repeat one and to do an US as they said they found a 6mm mass in my left breast. I got in relatively quickly for the repeat testing. My US report came back BIRADS 4, it did not give an a, b or c category. Radiologist stated that the mass was 5mm x 2mm x 4mm located at the 1 o'clock retroareolar region. He only described it as hypoechoic and ill defined and that I had scattered category B fibroglandular density. He then recommended ultrasound guided biopsy.

I am out of my mind with worry. I have a few friends that have had biopsies and say that it's probably a fibroadenoma but from researching I see that those are not ill defined and my mass is so that worries me.

I have fibrocystic breasts and they are extremely sensitive more so since having two mammograms and the ultrasound. The mass was located under my areola/nipple so the pain of the US probe pushing down on it is still causing pain 3 weeks later. I'm not sure if that is normal as well as the pain under my armpits since having all the tests done. This makes me worry that there is something going on with my lymph nodes now. When I had my US they technician scanned my armpits but did not stop to take images or focus on them so I assume that they were ok. I'm not sure why they ache so badly now.

I am getting married in 6 months and am out of my mind with worry over this. I am praying I don't have cancer and that I can have the wedding I've been planning for the last year now. That I can wear my beautiful wedding gown that is a v neck and shows a bit off on the chest area, that I can have my hair for my wedding day and most importantly that I'll even be alive for my wedding day and to be here for my teenage daughter as she grows up into a beautiful woman. All these awful scenarios are going through my mind and in my dreams at night. They scheduled my biopsy for 3 weeks after my results were given to me and I can't take much more waiting.

Has anyone else had a BIRADS 4 hypoechoic mass with ill defined maragins and it be benign? All I see online is ill defined and hypoechoic means cancer. It's all I can think about.

Just looking for support and reassurance hopefully right now.

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  • TC2021
    TC2021 Member Posts: 1
    edited April 2021
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    Hi there,

    I’m in a similar situation as you, currently waiting for my results (I get them Wednesday). I am also getting married this august so have the same concerns about what the future holds. My mass is “multilobulated” and hypoechoic. So I’m pretty worried as well. Sorry that I don’t have much reassurance for you but just wanted to let you know I hear you.I hope everything goes well for you.

  • Merlot_itsme
    Merlot_itsme Member Posts: 16
    edited April 2021
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    Hi there TC2021! Congrats on your upcoming wedding! I’m so sorry you are also in a similar situation but glad to not be alone. I hope that you get good results on Wednesday and you get to have the best wedding ever! I hope you will update this post after with good news.

    My biopsy is on Monday so I’m sure it will be at least another week before I get any news. I’m super nervous about the biopsy itself but not more than the results. I have no idea if they are doing needle or core biopsy, my report only said ultrasound guided biopsy needed, not which one. I am still so sore 3 weeks after my repeat mammogram and the ultrasound where they were very heavy handed over my nipple region. Having fibrocystic breasts, I am always sore but this is worse than normal and being as the pain as lasted this long and my armpits are now so sore as well - it worries me. And yes the phrases “ill defined margins” and “hypoechoic” do not help either. I try to not Google but I do and when I use those two phrases it is never a good result. I try to not think about it but as I get closer it’s all I can think about, I even had a nightmare about my fiancé going through my things as I had died and he found my wedding gifts for him. It was so sad. My dress is very deep v plunge and shows a lot of cleavage so I am worried about what I’ll do if I’m missing part of a boob or the whole thing or if I have no hair on my wedding day. Sounds silly I know compared to what some go through but I can’t help feeling all the things.

    Thanks for reaching out and letting me know I’m not alone in this. I’m hoping for more replies and some hope in all this as I really need it. I hope that you can find some too either in this post or others

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,081
    edited April 2021
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    Hi Merlot_itsme and TC2021, We are sorry you find yourselves both managing health concerns as you plan a wedding. Just know we are routing for benign, and are here for you! Medicating

  • Merlot_itsme
    Merlot_itsme Member Posts: 16
    edited April 2021
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    THANK YOU!!

  • LivinLife
    LivinLife Member Posts: 301
    edited April 2021
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    Welcome Merlot and TC though sorry the two of you find yourselves here.... esp. the timing of such happy occasions right around the corner! I feel for both of you! I cannot answer your medical questions though BIRADS 4 typically come back benign... I realize you're asking about very specific features adding to your worries. Hopefully someone will come along that can speak to those before long. Wishing you both the best!

  • Merlot_itsme
    Merlot_itsme Member Posts: 16
    edited April 2021
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    thank you Livin! Appreciate your comment and hoping for sure for a benign result!

  • Merlot_itsme
    Merlot_itsme Member Posts: 16
    edited April 2021
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    I just wanted to update that I had my biopsy yesterday. I was told a needle biopsy over the phone when they called to confirm appointment but when I got there I found out I needed a core biopsy and a 3rd mammogram. Very scary change of plans and I almost left to be honest at the fear. But I stayed and although it was not fun by any means I got it over with. He took 6 samples. Iced it all day yesterday, the mass is basically under my nipple so super sensitive area for sure. Sore this morning!

    I hope and pray this is the last invasive thing I will need to do regarding this and my results come back benign. The radiologist was chatty so I got him to really talk to me about the mass. Showing it to me on the screen. He said it's so tiny that they just can't tell what it is as it has not fully formed yet and is not obvious as far as shape and orientation. That the best they could tell it was ill-defined and hypoechoic so that is why they called back for biopsy. I asked him what the BIRADS score would be in his opinion since I was given only a 4 with no sub category and know it can range greatly from a-c. He said his best guess is 4a and maybe 4b but he kept mostly going back to 4a that gave me some glimmer of hope on this. He said it could be a fibroadenoma that's not shaped how it should be and even said it could be complex mini cysts that are clustered. But it is solid. He said rarely do these masses behave how they should and just because it's not oval doesn't mean it's cancer and vice-versa too. He said if cancer it's small so that's a good thing. I'm really hoping the odds are in my favor as it looks as though I have a 50/50 chance if 4b was mentioned. I told him I'd like to have my boobs and my hair for my wedding day and he laughed and wished me the best of luck in keeping those.

    Results in 4-5 days and I will update here once I get them. Super anxious still and hoping the best outcome. I know there is never a good time to go through this, but now is really not the best time for me - wedding to have over here! Lol. Ugh

  • beesie.is.out-of-office
    beesie.is.out-of-office Member Posts: 1,435
    edited April 2021
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    Merlot,

    The term "needle biopsy" almost always refers to a core needle biopsy (i.e. a large hollow needle), either ultrasound-guided, mammogram-guided (called a stereotactic biopsy) or MRI-guided. Sometimes a vacuum-assisted needle is used, but it's a similar procedure. Both of these types of needles are designed to retrieve a good amount of tissue. So there was no change of plans, just a lack of clarity when you were told about the biopsy.

    Fine needles (as opposed to core needles) are used mostly for cysts, which are fluid filled. That's usually a quick in-office procedure, really not a biopsy in the same way. That is usually called a fine needle aspiration.

    Hope your results are benign!

  • LivinLife
    LivinLife Member Posts: 301
    edited April 2021
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    Glad it went well except for the initial anxiety! Hopefully the waiting isn't too painful too... Waiting is hard - no way around that.... Wishing good thoughts for you - let us know.....

  • Merlot_itsme
    Merlot_itsme Member Posts: 16
    edited April 2021
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    Thank you Bessie! Good to know and thank you for the well wishes! Love your user name, my fiancé and I met on the dating app bumble so bees are special to me too!

  • Merlot_itsme
    Merlot_itsme Member Posts: 16
    edited April 2021
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    TC I was wondering you got your result yesterday. I have been keeping you in my prayers and I hope you received a benign result!

  • Merlot_itsme
    Merlot_itsme Member Posts: 16
    edited April 2021
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    So tomorrow I (think) I get my results. Im getting a phone call but I’m not sure if they will give me results over the phone or make me come in. And if they do make me come in - is that mean bad news?? So many thoughts going through my mind. I’m a nervous wreck and do not think I will sleep tonight. My fiancé is military and leaves for a week long travel duty assignment and I’ll be alone - I am praying for a benign result as I don’t know if I can manage bad news alone without him physically here to be with me for that

    I go back and forth between panic at having cancer and what this means for my future, as well as my upcoming wedding and for my daughter. To then talking myself out of the panic - saying it’s probably benign calm down, a fibroadenoma or fat necrosis or fibrocystic changes (as I have fibrocystic breast disease already). Then I say to myself get a grip if it is cancer it’s only 5mm and they didn’t see any issues in lymph nodes so that means it’s caught early and it will all be ok. Then I turn back to complete panic again.

    Part of me wants to know and get it over with and the other part of me never wants to know. This is so hard and I hate that so many of us woman go through this, that most of us have to wait weeks or months between an abnormal mammogram to finding out what is going on. For me it will be about 6 weeks from the start of this nightmare. It’s just not fair. There needs to be a better way that doesn’t entail endless waiting, stress, anxiety and panic.

    Ugh. Tomorrow I may find out and I’m still as scared to death as I was when I first posted this thread. Words I keep playing in my head is “ill-defined” and “hypoechoic” and “suspicious” and “BIRADS 4 a OR maybe b” this it torture and I applaud all of you that are so strong and courageous and are here for us newbies that hopefully go as quickly as we come into this group because of good news.

    Thank you for your comments and thoughts to me and any of us new, scared waiting for results gals. We are just strangers and your openness and willingness to talk to us means the world.

    Please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers for a benign result.

  • kmartin3243
    kmartin3243 Member Posts: 6
    edited April 2021
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    Hello!

    Just wanted to offer some support. The waiting game is so tough. From the time it takes to get the doctor to verify the lump, the referral to the breast clinic, the breast clinic ultrasound/mammogram, the biopsy, and waiting on the biopsy results. It's awful and makes you want to pull all of your hair out. Also, getting very rude radiologists or techs that make you feel like an idiot if you're a bit nervous or have questions doesn't help.

    I am not sure how each breast clinic does it. My breast clinic will set an in person appointment and will give me a call ahead of it(with benign results) and in turn cancel the in person appointment. The only things that really helped my anxiety (a little) spending time outside and an OTC sleep aid.

    I just wanted you to know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. Hoping you get benign results and can focus on your beautiful wedding. Please keep us updated.

  • Merlot_itsme
    Merlot_itsme Member Posts: 16
    edited April 2021
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    kmartin3243 - thank you!! I am still waiting, I called this morning and talked to a receptionist at my doctors office just to find out that the results came back 6 DAYS AGO!!! yet I have not been called. I was told the doctor has not signed off on them so they cannot give them to me. He won't be in until late today and I most likely won't here back today. Don't they have to release my results to me according to HIPPA laws?? They had them for 6 days and I am so upset about that. I want to drive down there and demand my report but I'm not sure how that would fly. This is not ok. I'm not sure what else to do.

  • Poppy_90
    Poppy_90 Member Posts: 84
    edited April 2021
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    honestly, I am so upset for you and if it were me, I would be angry. And I probably would drive to my doctors and wait until somebody would see me. Waiting is so painful, and waiting extra is just cruel. My results are released through my chart at the same time they are released to my doctor. Does your facility use my chart? If so, you can check there and see. I would probably be also looking for a new doctor, but that’s just me.

    I am so sorry that what is such a stressful situation alreadyhas been made more so for you. It’s not fair. I’m sending a lot of good thoughts your way and hope you can get your answer quickly. Please keep us updated.

    Kristen

  • alicebastable
    alicebastable Member Posts: 1,945
    edited April 2021
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    Aren't the results on your patient portal? I always look before I talk to the doctor so I can formulate any questions I might have.

  • kathabus
    kathabus Member Posts: 45
    edited April 2021
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    I am upset for you, too. Absolutely ridiculous. At a minimum, I would call back and tell them that you need the results TODAY. That doctor needs to figure this out TODAY and they can have someone call you with these results.

    I want to give you a silver lining, though. USUALLY there is a little more urgency when the result is a malignancy. No guarantees, but.....I had BC, and there was no waiting around. Results were fast.

  • Merlot_itsme
    Merlot_itsme Member Posts: 16
    edited April 2021
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    Alice - I don’t have a patient portal or any electronic portals for any of my doctors or health care stuff. I wish I did. Everything is done the old fashioned way - waiting on doctors calls which usually entails me calling and bothering them daily until I get results. This is not the first time I’ve had to do this but certainly is the most stressful of test results to be waiting on and calling about.

  • kmartin3243
    kmartin3243 Member Posts: 6
    edited April 2021
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    Yes. I would call them later this afternoon (not sure what time it is over there) and see if he has gotten in. 😩 That's so frustrating..6 days. Did they have to run them through other sets of eyes(maybe) before he signed off? That's the only thing I can think of. It seems like she should be able to give them to you over phone.

  • Merlot_itsme
    Merlot_itsme Member Posts: 16
    edited April 2021
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    Poppy and kathabus -


    thank you, I am calling back in a few minutes when the manager is in to demand my results according to HIPPA laws and see how far that gets me. I am so upset. As far as it hopefully being good news due to delay, I would love to believe that but this doctor and his office are always hard to get lab reports from not just now. I usually have to call and bother them and usually I get the excuse that the results on on doctors desk and he hasn’t signed them yet. I think he is too busy and has too much on his plate to give the patients he has the time they deserve. Maybe it’s living in CA and it’s overcrowded health system. I don’t know. But I am highly considering switching OBGYNs after this. This is not ok. I will say though that when my screening mammogram came back abnormal they called me as soon as it came back and told me I needed to repeat the testing and add an US as well. So who knows, except that I lost basically a week of unneeded stress and worry or god forbid a week of getting the ball rolling on a bad dx.

  • Merlot_itsme
    Merlot_itsme Member Posts: 16
    edited April 2021
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    kmartin - nope. One doctor practice and no other sets of eyes they just have a protocol where they get results faxed over and they put them on his desk for review and for him to sign off. Not until he signs off are they alllowed to release results. I like my doctor, he’s a great doctor and has a good bedside manner when I’m in his exam room but his office is very unorganized. The practice is too busy. He’s always running late or in surgery. His staff is all over the place. I always have to call and check on lab results as I rarely get calls. Only time I did was when my mammogram came back abnormal I got a call quickly. I’m hoping the delay means my results are urgent and are benign. But then again the thought of how unorganized they all are there doesn’t give me hope to bet too high on that. It is 11 am here so I have time before the day ends but he is in surgery today so not sure if he’ll even be back and if so what time. And just the fact that I have been in panic for 6 weeks over this since I first went for the mammogram until now and I could have had news a week ago pisses me off to no end.

  • kmartin3243
    kmartin3243 Member Posts: 6
    edited April 2021
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    Wow. Yeah. That really makes me upset Someone should have the courtesy to let you know! If he doesn't get back in time, I feel like someone else would be qualified to give them to you. That's ridiculous!

  • Merlot_itsme
    Merlot_itsme Member Posts: 16
    edited April 2021
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    EVERYONE!!!

    I called and spoke to the manager and I think I put the fear of God into him lol. He tried to tell me that the results were not in - even though I told him two of his receptionists told me they’ve been there for 6 days awaiting a doctors signature for release. He said he was going to call the hospital to ask for results to be faxed and he’d call me back. I said nope, I stay on hold thank you - so I did. He came back on and said he had them in his hands and that the doctor will call me later today or tomorrow. I said nope again, HIPPA states I have a right to my results. You can give them to my on the phone or I can come down there and get them or if you refuse I can come down there and make a scene in your office. So he gave them to me!

    FIBROADENOMA!!! Thank God!! He said it was a preliminary report but it did say there was no malignancy found and it did say the word fibroadenoma. So I take that as good news! He said once the final report comes through with the radiologist recommendations as far as follow up he will have the doctor call me personally to go over everything.

    He apologized profusely for all the confusion and that the results have been in and I had not received a phone call he said that the doctor is a wonderful doctor but has too much on his plate and is overbooked most of the time and that shows through sometimes and unfortunately it did here in my case. So he gave me his direct number to call him if I should ever have any problems in the future. Still not sure if I’ll find a new office. This was not an ok thing.

    So here I am crying and thanking God that my results are benign. And I am wishing that I had the means and the time to advocate for others who go through this. The time it takes to get testing done and biopsies and more testing and results for each of those things. It took 6 weeks of waiting, worrying and panic. 6 weeks is too long. We should not have to go through this.

    In the meantime I’ll say this - this experience has been one of the worst in my life. This waiting game. We have to be advocates for our own health because no one else will. I refuse to be put at the back of a line or bottom of a list. If that makes me seems like a “karen” as some people would call it then so be it. I will not apologize for being pushy when it comes to my health and my future. End of story.

    I want to thank every one for responding and cheering me on and sending me theirthoughts and prayers over these last few weeks. It has meant the world to me. This board is such a wealth of knowledge and personal experiences that you cannot get anywhere else without the installation of fear vs support (hello Dr. Google!). I am going to stick around as I want to pass on that support to others coming here for it. I hope that all of you that have been diagnosed and are going through it go through it with as much ease and comfort as possible and come out on the other side better and stronger for it. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!

  • LivinLife
    LivinLife Member Posts: 301
    edited April 2021
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    What an awful process you had to go through Merlot!!! Good for you for holding your ground!!! Soooo happy for you that results are benign! Deep breaths, long walk, whatever you need to decompress from all that frustration so you can enjoy the B9 results.....

  • tntnsd
    tntnsd Member Posts: 124
    edited April 2021
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    What wonderful news on Monday for you Merlot, so happy that you got the benign result. Thanks for sharing your story and courage.

    Now you can relax and go planning your wedding. Best wish

  • harley07
    harley07 Member Posts: 290
    edited April 2021
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    Great news! I’m sorry it took so long for you to get an answer. IMO, The length of time it took to get a is very unacceptable

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,636
    edited April 2021
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    merlot, I just got goosebumps reading your post! I'm so glad your results were good. (I didn't know whether to call that "positive" or "negative".) And GOOD FOR YOU for insisting that you get your results RIGHT THEN! No waiting until he checked and then called you back. I loved your "Thanks but I'll hold while you check". That's awesome.

    Thank you, too, for sharing your experience. I think so many of us think we have no control or no say in how or when we get our results.

    Stay well, my friend,

    Carol

  • Poppy_90
    Poppy_90 Member Posts: 84
    edited April 2021
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    I just got tears for you! Way to go in advocating for yourself. It’s not easy, but so important. I hope you have a beautiful wedding

  • kmartin3243
    kmartin3243 Member Posts: 6
    edited April 2021
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    So happy for you! Talk about being your own advocate!! Congratulations!!!! Have a wonderful wedding!!!