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Embracing the bald

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piksie
piksie Member Posts: 132

I'd like to talk about being bald. I am on my second round of hair loss due to chemo (AC+T in 2018 and Halaven currently), and I'm really, really close to tossing my fears and my headcovers in favor of comfort and acceptance. Between episodes, I kept a pixie that suited me, so the second bout wasn't nearly as dramatic. So here I am with a look that is familiar to me, and since it's my only option, I have grown to like it. It's the norm in my home with my children, with my close friends and family, and my time with my medical team. But I'm struggling with trips to the grocery store.

If you've made the leap, tell me about it. If you're wanting to but stuck, maybe we can do it together.

Comments

  • moth
    moth Member Posts: 3,293
    edited December 2021
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    I'm bald and only cover when I'm cold. I think part of it is training the eye, kwim? If you see bald all the time you don't notice it anymore. You can see me on my Instagram @itisjustastage maybe that will embolden you?

    But lol, I was just thinking of getting the wigs out again because they are fun

  • piksie
    piksie Member Posts: 132
    edited December 2021
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    Thank you for the new acronym! I had to google it. :)

    Funny, I just bought two wigs in the name of fun. I wore one for the first time today, and it's itchy! It's probably my catalyst for writing this.

    Your Instagram is inspiring! Thank you! So many creative posts that speak the hard and sometimes brutally humorous truth.


  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,607
    edited December 2021
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    Piksie, I had a wig but only wore it once because it was uncomfortable and too hot. My husband gave me a buzz cut after hair really falling out and that first breeze of wind was amazing! I didn’t find anyone staring while out around town, in fact, people were more kind in general. I was called “sir” a few times from those who just glanced but it’s ok, it happens. A big surprise was that I felt oddly confident going bald, like I had some magic badassery, lol. I had fun with it and actually looked kinda cool, no regrets!

    image

    image

  • mountainmia
    mountainmia Member Posts: 857
    edited December 2021
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    At home I was bald, but in public I covered with ball caps and ugly scarves, basically bandanas. I hated them but didn't feel confident enough to just go bald. But then it was August, and it was hot, and I always overheated easily. When I was teaching a class one day (English for foreign-born adults) I got too warm. I asked the students if they cared if I took my hat off. They shook their heads, I took the hat off, and just kept going. My husband (teaching with me) said the students applauded, which I didn't notice. But after that I only wore hats to protect my head from sun or cold, not to protect my feelings. As soon as *I* was okay with it, everyone else was, too.

  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,176
    edited December 2021
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    The first time I lost my hair, I had a wig. Which was waaaaaaay too hot and itchy to wear in FloriDuh in August. So I didn’t. Now, I have extremely thin hair. May as we’ll be bald. I don’t wear anything unless it’s cold. Ok, cold for us. Lol. I do get called sir, I just growl back, it’s ma’m.

  • 4sparky
    4sparky Member Posts: 9
    edited December 2021
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    Hi Piksie,

    I went bald from day one and loved every minute of it! I actually prefer it over what is happening with my hair right now, it started coming back in May/June so I am sporting a mohawk right now which isn’t bad but I do actually miss my bald head. I had zero issues with people looking at me, questioning my baldness or making me feel awkward. I feel that is because I embraced the bald and wore it proudly!! There is no reason for the added pain or discomfort that wigs often cause, we have enough to deal with and should be able to walk proudly with our bald heads. I only wore light hats indoors when chilly or stocking hats outside when it was cold, that’s it. I would encourage you to embrace what works for you and if that is bald others will be fine with it as long as you are. Wishing you joy in your bald adventures!

    4sparky

  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,176
    edited December 2021
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    image

    Or wear something like this.

  • melbo
    melbo Member Posts: 266
    edited December 2021
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    I also embraced the bald and only wore hats if I was cold. Mostly people didn’t comment on my lack of hair — the few comments I got were compliments — and mostly I didn’t catch people staring awkwardly.

    Once my hair started coming back I dyed the middle and styled it as a Mohawk — I get a lot more stares with my purple Mohawk than I ever got when I was bald.

  • piksie
    piksie Member Posts: 132
    edited December 2021
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    Ilimae - you look great bald!

    Mountainmia - sweet story about your students. I was a little surprised that my teenage boys said they prefer beanies and headcovers when I showed them a wig. We only talked a little about the 100% bald idea, but I know I'm more worried about it than they are. School events, soccer games, etc. I've worked to keep cancer out of their public lives as much as possible, but it's probably my issue, not theirs.

    About being called Sir, I look a lot like my dad. :) When I went for a very short pixie several years ago, my mother's first words were, "Oh honey. You're going to have to wear makeup and jewelry every day." Lovingly, but she was a little alarmed by the resemblance.

    I like the mohawk idea if/when it comes back. I got temporary colors last time but didn't do it enough.

    Spookiesmom - love the hat!

    This is my supportive cousin

    image

  • threetree
    threetree Member Posts: 1,347
    edited December 2021
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    Great picture, Piksie! He must be a cousin on your Dad's side then. I can see a resemblance.

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,607
    edited December 2021
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    Piksie, you totally rock the bald look! I think after a couple trips out, you won’t think twice about it and will definitely appreciate how hassle free bald can be.

  • Les707
    Les707 Member Posts: 6
    edited December 2021
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    I need this hat. Any chance of getting ordering details. Thank you! 

  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,176
    edited December 2021
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    Cafe Press can do it, or look for a logo shop they might be willing.

  • piksie
    piksie Member Posts: 132
    edited December 2021
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    Thanks! He's my mother's twin's son, so we share half our DNA. He was the only bit of Thanksgiving drama; got drunk and only wanted to talk to my mom and brother about (my) death. Ugh!!!!

    So I spent the day out and about and bald today. I took my son to the skate shop, grabbed lunch, took him to a dr appt, then met a girlfriend for happy hour because I was on a roll.

  • rah2464
    rah2464 Member Posts: 1,192
    edited December 2021
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    Piksie you have a beautifully shaped noggin. I hope you continue to rock it for all it is worth! Glad to hear you were on a roll yesterday


  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,607
    edited December 2021
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    I bet those at the skate shop thought you looked pretty badass

  • mudawon
    mudawon Member Posts: 2
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    After my TCHP, I had what appeared to be male pattern baldness when my hair first grew in. I was seen by a dermatologist who specialized in chemo related side effects. She recommended minoxidil—the generic foam that you can get relatively inexpensively. Use the foam,once daily, at night. There is no need to get fancy stuff made for women. Studies have, apparently, shown that it helps with eyebrow regrowth. A year after chemo, my hair is incredibly thick, and my eyebrows are about back to their pre-chemo thickness. As I am on AI medication, I am continuing to use minoxidil as AIs can thin hair. After I put it on, I will wear one of my chemo caps for 1/2 hour, or so, to smush my hair down and prevent any residue getting on my pillow. The foam seems to act as a mousse and might even make my hair look better.