Information vs. reassurance
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SF-Cakes, Thank you! And your husband! When I posted the graphic, I had no idea it would lead to such an interesting and lively discussion. I love your point of carrying it over into places beyond this board. it's a question we can ask ourselves and others besides the members here.
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Interesting chart. I am one of those very anxious people. Am I seeking reassurance? Yes. Am I seeking information? Yes. Do I want the truth? Yes. Do I desire a certain answer? Yes.
I have always appreciated the answers provided to me on this forum. Sometimes the answers can unsettle me more. Sometimes they provide me with peace. Sometimes "just the facts, Ma'am" are just what I need and sometimes knowing someone understands the fear and anxiety is enough. Sometimes I need a slap in the face and sometimes a pat on the back. I do not expect anyone on here to be my therapist or to solve my anxiety issues. And since all sorts of people with all sorts of experiences are part of this group, I expect different responses. Do I prefer some to others? Of course. Are some more helpful than others? Yes. But I think the importance of a group like this for me is to know that there are others in this same club that no one wanted to join. And there is a lot of helpful information here as well.
Please understand that no sane person would choose to have an anxiety disorder. It makes everything just that much more difficult. But even in the midst of reassurance seeking, there is also information seeking. Generally there is a rational mind that needs to hear the facts. Sometimes it just takes a little longer to get through the anxiety to reach it.
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Kkubsky, Thank you for that perspective.
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I notice you have had more than one type cancer. When you were diagnosed the second time, were you in a panic like the first time or just feel sort of odd? I don't know how to ask or explain. I had breast cancer in 2014 and now, just found out I have cervical but I feel different this time.
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The first, endometrial, freaked me out a bit. I wanted to run away, like that would have solved it! While recovering from it, I had the first of several minor skin cancers. That made me really angry, like adding insult to injury. Ten years later, I was fairly calm about the breast cancer, and didn't have any panic moments. Then I got the kidney cancer diagnosis right after and I think I laughed, but probably a little hysterically. It just struck me as ridiculous. It still does.
Good luck to you, and welcome to the crap magnet club.
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Alicebastable, I just came across this post. It and the conversation are so very good. I want to thank you for being one of the first to help me with my information seeking. We are still out here, and getting so much information in my first days was exactly what I needed. In the first 5 weeks of my journey, I’ve already seen some of the reassurance or confirmation seekers, and while I’ve tried to support some of them, I agree that my style isn’t the most helpful.
Just know that the facts, logic and experience you frequent posters gave me was really the reassurance I needed. Reassurance that I’m not the only one. Reassurance that being well informed makes me a better patient. Reassurance that when I’m at my wits end, I’m not crazy. I just have to keep moving forward, even if it’s at a snail’s pace.
You and several others in thisthread have inspired me to answer people who are newer than me. And, hopefully, I can be helpful to others by being informative, and as empathetic as I can be.
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sarahmaude, thank you! There are some of us who prefer a pretty straightforward approach (combined with compassion, to the best of our separate abilities), and we're always delighted to find newcomers who think in a similar way.
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