Difficult daughters
Hi everyone,
I want to start by saying I love both of my daughters, but they are like me very determined women, oldest 42 and youngest is 40. They both knew about my call back from the diagnostic images. I have IDC stage 2 and DCIS grade 2 ER+PR+ and Her2-.
My problem is they want to run the show. How do I get across to them, without alienating them, that I am 67 years old and not feeble of mind by any stretch. Yes, I flit back and forth with treatment options, lumpectomy vs mastectomy but I have to figure out what is right for me.
I have taken their advice and amgetting a second opinion and maybe even a third opinion, but I will be the one that makes the final decision.
Comments
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I’m sorry you and your daughters are having a tough time with this.
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"I know you love me and are concerned for me. I have taken your advice and am getting a second opinion and maybe even a third opinion, but I will be the one that makes the final decision. I need you to respect that."
Tell them just what you told us.
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suzz,
You explained your feelings well in your op. All your words tell exactly how you plan to proceed. Throw in a lot of I love you’s and appreciation for their love and support. In the kindest way, let them know that you are far from feeble minded! I am 65 with two daughters, 37, 32, so we’re similar in that respect. My older daughter has occasionally started to treat me feebly but I always shut that down very quickly! I didn’t shout or scream. I calmly explainwhy she should not treat me feebly. TBH, although I wouldn’t want to alienate my daughters, my mbc and care is ultimately about me and my well being. I love them beyond words and their support has been invaluable but I am the team leader! Take care
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