Starting chemo April 2023
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Hi gals,
NJ: No such thing as over sharing with our group. I’m sorry you’ve had some vomiting but am glad you were prepared. I’m sure that helped with the situation.
Glad you got some sleep and hope you are feeling better tonight.
I was really tired after lunch and slept a good 2-3 hours, then read in bed for an hour.I’m tired of feeling tired too!
Not much else going on. I did make the vegetable torte yesterday. I was not impressed with it and who knows, maybe I didn’t make it quite right. It was tasty but not enough “wow” for the effort.
BTW, a lot of my friends are watching “The Bear” on Hulu. I’ve started it and am enjoying it.
Cat
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Another night of not sleeping. I'll go look for The Bear. Thanks for the recommendation! Safer than shopping for clothing that I really don't need.
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Hello hello! I love The Bear. It is a fantastic watch. I also recommend Bad Sisters on Apple. Dark and hilarious IMO. The weather was so insane yesterday. I was soaking when I made it to the embassy because it was so rainy and windy. Ugh. But we did stop and get Chinese dumplings and cheesecake for dinner. So, win win. Today is beautiful, I had coffee and apple pie with a neighbor. She made it to celebrate the end of chemo. I still have some respiratory stuff, but continue to feel better every day. It is a chore week. Dog to groomer tomorrow (she isn’t a fan), kid to the dentist to have a cavity filled and also to discuss wisdom teeth removal. Back to embassy to retrieve my ID. Rather than give it to my spouse who works there and is the actual employee, I have to make the hour long each way trek there and back to pick it up in person. Seriously?! I mean, what do they think my spouse would do with it? And they want Cas to go in again also.
NJ: I love that Swedish company. I bought several pieces at a big after Christmas sale a couple of years ago. I think they are super cute and the prices were great on sale. I am so sorry that you have insomnia and more nausea:(. Ugh. One more! Because it really does get harder I think. Hopefully you feel a lot better soon and get a truly good weekend before they zap you again.Cat: Ugh. I hate recipes where you do a lot of work and then it is just meh. You have treatment again tomorrow, right? Ugh. But you will be on your second to last. At this point, I know you just want it done. We all get a grumble at what wretched condition we are all in when finishing. You can tell it is all calibrated to take us as far as possible without sending us into collapse. Almost there!
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Hi gals,
Bird: oh some apple pie sounds fantastic as do the Chinese dumplings! I continue in my quest to morph into a teenaged boy with my preoccupation and consumption of food! Goodness! I am so glad you are feeling better too! Yay! I absolutely LOVE “Bad Sisters” and have looked up when the next season comes out (can’t recall now but don’t think it’s soon). Ridiculous you have to trek to the embassy….. boooooo.
NJ: so sorry about the insomnia and the nausea. Would a Tylenol PM maybe help? Did you ultimately get some sleep and how’s the nausea/vomiting today? How’s Bray doing?Yup, you are spot on Bird. Chemo tomorrow then one more 9/13. I’m excited to see the light at the end of the chemo tunnel. Not too much else going on. I’m playing bridge this afternoon. Good for the brain though I’m making some dumb mistakes. Thankfully I’m playing with a nice group of ladies (and there are some tough bridge ladies out there!). I just want to be able to hold my own as a social player. Thankfully it’s cooler today in Atlanta. Lots of storms the past couple of days.
Bird: I know it’s not “funny” but I have giggled over your description of the kitty’s special present on the mantel. I had a cat who hated my husband. He’d pee in his suitcase and hubby traveled all the times. One time he pee’d all over his winter coat which he discovered once he got to Chicago. He had to wear the “fragrant” coat for a few days. Ultimately, I had to find a new home for kitty as he (kitty) also hated the “baby” (first child) I brought home. Lotsa pee retaliation there too. He was clearly a “one person” cat!Cat
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Good morning!
I managed 4 hours of sleep last night and wasn't ill so that was good. I'll nap for a couple of hours this afternoon. I think I haven't been paying as much attention to staying hydrated as I did during round 1 of chemo so I'm trying to improve on that.
Bird: What a pain that you have to trek all the way back to pick up the ID! It's really odd that they can't send them home with your husband. Sounds like you have a very busy week. Dumplings? Did someone mention dumplings? Yum!! And apple pie? So cool that your neighbor made celebration carbs! Re: that Swedish company - so many pretty dresses and cardigans but I don't need them. Going to stick with Swedish Death Cleaning before I go Swedish clothes shopping. 😂 I think you're right about bottoming out by the end of chemo. It sure is feeling that way. Early in this process I remember you setting a goal that we all stay out of the hospital. Just another couple of weeks that Cat and I have to keep up on our end and we'll be done.
Cat: The Bear is great! I got through a bunch of episodes before falling asleep last night. I have to go back and find the last thing I remember so that I can resume this evening. Sorry that the torte didn't live up to the effort that you put in. If you feel inspired to try variations, veggie Napoleons were a big hit when I used to host Christmas Eve dinner. I can't remember if it was from Bon Apitite or Gourmet. This recipe looks closest if you want to give it a try: I remember adding a sprinkling of grated parmesan between each layer to perk it up.
Since we're on a carb kick and zucchini is in season, with her permission, here's my aunt's zucchini bread recipe:
Aunt Mary's Zucchini Bread
- 4 eggs
- 1 c veg oil
- 1 1/2 tsp baking soda
- 1 tsp cinnamon
- 2 c grated zucchini
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 2 c sugar
- 3 1/2 c flour
- 1 1/2 tsp salt
- 3/4 tsp baking powder
- 1 c raisins (optional)
- 1 c chopped walnuts (optional)
Preheat oven to 350. Grease and flour 2 loaf pans. Combine the dry ingredients. In a separate bowl beat eggs, add sugar, oil and vanilla. Mix in zucchini. Mix in dry ingredients. Divide into two prepared loaf pans
Bake at 350 for 55 minutes.Cool for 10 minutes before removing from the panGreat with a schmear of peanut butter or cream cheese!
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NJ! Thanks for sharing the family recipe. It’s like you knew that I had a bunch of ginormous zucchini from the store that I need to do something with. I hope you are feeling better and that you got some good sleep last night. And yes. We are very close to my goal of no hospitalizations. Just 1 more for you and Cat after today! We can do it! I struggled a bit more with hydration this last go round as well. I think because water tasted yucky it was a chore to drink. I have rounded that corner. Hurrah.
Cat: Thinking of you today! And your poor husband. I had to chuckle at the story as well although I am sure it wasn’t fun at the time. At all! Bridge always sounds very society ladies of Atlanta to me:). Very fun. I am cautiously optimistic that moving a litter box has worked for the moment. Lola seems to be leaving deposits there.
Nada here. More rain. Drama dog to the groomer. Feeling fine and have had too many pepparkor cookies today. Ha. Pumpkins and mums at the supermarket today. Fall feeling for sure. Not the greatest weather at the moment.
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Hi gals,
Checking in from the infusion center.NJ: glad you got a little rest and that the nausea has abated a bit. I’m thankful for the reminder that “no hospitalizations” was the goal and very thankfully one down and 2 more of us to go with meeting that goal. My annoyances are minor next to hospitalizations and not being able to continue treatments. I’m grumpy today so keeping that perspective is a good reminder. Other good news: my oncologist couldn’t feel either of the 2 primary tumors so the response to chemo is very encouraging.
NJ: so glad you like “The Bear”! I love all of our “shares” and oh my the zucchini bread is really calling my name! Thanks for that.Bird: yay for Lola using her box. It’s such a problem when the kitties go rogue on the litter box. Sounds like you have such a busy week. How’s it going and how are you feeling? I am SO ready for fall and for that matter I’m ready for the holidays too. I’m ready to have some decorations for both. I am planning (translate me directing my daughter!) on decorating for Christmas early this year because I’ll be home most of the time post-op and I think the decorations will help keep my spirits lifted.
Bird: your image of bridge isn’t wrong! They are such a nice group of women and some of them are for sure “old Atlanta”. There is a certain amount of decorum with our games but they aren’t “stuffy” either.
Ok- that’s about it for now.
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Cat: Thinking of you today, hoping both chemo and the hurricane are uneventful. So done with this chemo stuff, right? I have a bottle of champagne waiting for when we've all crossed the chemo finish line and my stomach can handle a mimosa. Perhaps for our call on Monday the 18th. Being a bit optimistic re: my stomach. 🤣 I'm really impressed that you have the energy and attention span to play bridge during dose dense AC. It's the harshest and you are amazing.
Bird: I should have known you had zucchini because you mentioned it in a pervious post but chemo brain seems to have disconnected the recipe related synapses. I have Aunt Mary's cheesecake recipe somewhere too, if you're interested. Sounds like your dog isn't a fan of the groomer. Always an adventure when they aren't a fan! I have one of each. My female really doesn't mind a bath. She's all about the free belly rubs that come with the spa treatment! Bray, on the other hand, is an embarrassment. For the last 8 years the groomer and I have joked that it sounds like the Texas Chainsaw murderer is giving him a bath. She has to reassure other customers that they aren't hurting him. Not going to make that joke anymore. I hadn't thought about it but I have to figure out how he gets a bath going forward.
I'm still not sleeping well but I wasn't ill during the night so that was good. I managed 4 hours of sleep and will nap this afternoon. I was so good at this sleeping thing. It was at the top of my CV as a core competency. What the hell? Seriously.
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Morning!
Well I, steroid infused, was up around 3:30 am, but went to sleep at 10 so 5 1/2 hours isn’t too bad. Can Cat nap later today if the steroids allow. I’ve been puttering around the kitchen and my laundry room, putting things away, watering plants, playing with the cat (who got breakfast at 4:00 am since she can’t tell time and is just too cute rubbing me and purring.) Love our fur babies! Loved the grooming stories and visuals NJ! My dog does not like the groomer but thankfully her grooming needs are pretty minimal. I’d like to whip up an angel food cake but I’m afraid the mixer will wake up hubby in the bedroom above the kitchen. He should be up by now, ha!!
NJ: oof, sorry about your sleep issues and yes, agreed, it’s always something with the dang sides. Glad you aren’t feeling sick though. It’s the nausea that gets to me here and there but thankfully the meds are pretty good. I had a really wacky side effect (involving my feminine parts) that I’ll try to remember to share when we chat as I feel “too weird” memorializing it in print. So there’s a teaser!
I love your idea of champagne for our call 9/18! Count me IN and I think I have some bubbly or of course will get some. Love it!
NJ: Thanks for the kind words re bridge. I HAVE made some stupid mistakes: trumped my partner (ugh) and also unintentionally bid a beginner’s convention- which caused my partner to lose the hand. Thankfully, it’s a great group of women so no nastiness after my stupid plays AND amazingly all in all, I’m actually getting better as I’ve been playing more. Hubby and I usually travel a lot but now not so much of course.
I felt bleh last night (took to the bed) but per my pattern, I feel well today/steroids.Hope you both are feeling better/well and enjoy your day.
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NJ: I was cracking up visualizing your pup at the groomer. Mine just doesn’t want me to leave her. Anywhere. Ever. Apparently she is very good once I am gone. Ha. And ecstatic when I come back. I hope that you got some sleep and that the nausea has subsided.
Cat: I love that you have Christmas decor ideas. I do think you are right and it will lift your spirits. We put the tree and lights up early ish and leave them through January 6 here. Which is odd as the Finns often don’t decorate until Christmas Eve. Vienna was the same. Live trees are the norm so that limits the time you can leave them. Since we are gone for Christmas this year, we might just do lights. I don’t know. I love the tree. Haha. You know how to tease lol. I am sorry that you had a whacky side effect there. Aw. Chemo, such a gift. I’ll have to grab a teeny bottle of champagne for our call. Lots to celebrate then I think. And I agree. You have had so much treatment, all of it hard and you just take it in stride.
I did 30 minutes on my elliptical today! Which is the first exercise I’ve done in ages. Which is good as it is miserably rainy. Working my way back to some daily exercise will be huge. I’ve started going in the sauna every other night as well which is lovely. It is nice to regain some normalcy. I was up at 4 also. The dog had woken for some reason so we cuddled a bit and then I went back to sleep.
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Good morning!
I was up around 4 AM and went back around 6 AM. I wasn't very productive, just made a cup of tea and did wordle. It was chilly and breezy here this morning. It felt so good to be snuggled in a hoodie! I look forward to the cooler weather. I'm hoping I'll have more energy.
Cat: Just 1 more left!! Doing the pre-celebration dance with you! It sounds like your cat has you wrapped around her little paw as she should. She knows exactly how to get what she wants! Fur babies add so much to our lives and honestly, they've been the best company through chemo. Even on the worst of days, they somehow manage to make me laugh. Curious about your side effect - I hope nothing too annoying!
Bird: 30 minutes on the elliptical is HUGE! Congrats! I look forward to getting back on the incline trainer which is just collecting dust in my basement. The sauna sounds really relaxing too! Has your scar been behaving since chemo ended? Are you able to soak in the tub again? These tales of normalcy have me dreaming of Sunday brunch at a local Inn and food shopping in person. I think the thing that has been most difficult for me is the isolation. I appreciate that it's self-imposed but given that I live alone and have a limited support system, I've been trying to be super careful. It would be difficult to find someone to take care of 2 90+ lb. dogs. Near impossible to find someone to care for a recent amputee.
I haven't decorated inside for Christmas since before the pandemic. I still light one evergreen on the lawn but that's about it. It used to take me forever to get all of the Christmas stuff put away. My father joked about the Valentine's tree in my house and urged that it not be an Easter tree. I've been trying to get rid of some of the Christmas stuff during the purge. Still a bunch more to go. Much like Cat's cat doesn't know that it isn't time for breakfast, the dogs don't know which day Santa Paws is supposed to show up with new stuff for them. :) And by Santa Paws, I mean the FedEx guy with the Chewy box. 🤣
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@njdogmom My scar seems to be okay. Fingers crossed. It seems well and truly closed up and I started baths again as of the final chemo session. The part that opened doesn’t look as nice as the rest of my scars. It is much wider and redder. We shall see what time brings. But as long as it is closed, I am fine with it.
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So glad the scar is in the rearview too and that you can get back to Epsom salt floatation therapy!
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Hello all! Quiet day all around. My husband got a promotion today! It was a happy surprise as he didn’t expect it. So, I am glad we are going to a hotel tomorrow and out for dinner. It is a true celebration. I tried a yoga video today. It is amazing how difficult stuff that was relatively easy not too long ago was. Ah well. That is why it is a practice I think. Otherwise, not much happening here.
NJ: Aw. Sunday brunch is right around the corner! You are at your last one! Hurrah! And I get being super cautious. I was paranoid when Chris was gone that I would get sick or something. It just makes you feel so vulnerable. That is the thing about chemo. Even when I didn’t feel too awful, I was worried about getting an infection. I have been waking at 4 also. No clue why as I was so happy to sleep pretty solidly on EC chemo.
Cat: I am hoping that you are still feeling well and cooking up a storm. I also have my fingers crossed that you don’t get any new sides at this point. Did y’all get a lot of rain from the hurricane?
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Bird: Congrats to Mr. Iamnobird! So glad that you had special weekend plans and that you have multiple reasons to celebrate! No doubt, yoga is hard. I reached out to my yoga instructor on Thursday to get signed up for restorative yoga for the fall. She asked me to put a piece of paper outside for a couple of nights to let it soak up some moonlight. I think the goal is we're going to write intentions on them. I wish I were more spiritual. Perhaps I'll get there some day. Restorative yoga - isn't that the one where you take an hour nap and work on deep relaxation? 🤣That's about all the energy I can muster at this point. I love this yoga studio. Unlike the others in my area, this one doesn't have a high tech gym vibe and Tara is a gentle and kind soul.
Apologies regarding the isolation comment. I didn't meant to imply that you guys aren't experiencing the very same thing plus the challenge of living with people who bring colds etc, home with them.
Cat: I hope you have a fantastic holiday weekend with lots of rest and lots of fun activity in between.
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Good morning gals!
Well there must be something to our 4:00 am reveille call! I, too, am up again at 4:00 but it really doesn’t bother me. I’m a morning person and I figure I’m getting plenty of rest with my early bedtime and afternoon naps. I also take advantage of the quiet time to yes, play Wordle (addicted) and play with my cat. A string from a pair of my pajama bottoms is her favorite toy. And yes, she DOES have me wrapped around her finger, ha! My daughter is back in Richmond for a week so I now also have George Klooney in the mix who needs his special time. Pup gets her time with a big morning walk. Both cats got on top of me last night which led to a kerfuffle with spitting. They get along but it’s complicated.
NJ: No need to apologize about the isolation comment. I think of you often and how hard it would be to be alone but glad you have your pups. I often hit a wall and it’s just so nice to have someone bring you your meds, a drink, a sandwich. It’s also nice interacting with my family under my roof because they just let me be “me”- it’s a break from all the “little c” chatter of the outside world. I write this to empathize, I hope. Totally agree with you, too, that your situation requires isolation especially with you taking care of pup. I’m really glad that you both are doing well with him post-op. It was a tough surgery on my dog and she was only 28 lbs and “portable”.
NJ: speaking of chatter, has Nosey Neighbor stayed away?Bird: way to go on the elliptical! I really need to work on some arm strength. I think with the upcoming DMX some arm strength would be good. I don’t think I’ll be able to lift my arms very much post-op. I now sometimes need to get on all fours in the tub to safely get myself out. Arms are weak. Congratulations on Chris’s promotion! That’s really wonderful and I’m glad you have a celebration planned!
Christmas decorations: I bought a really nice (Balsam Hill) pre-lit tree several years ago. No one in my family is interested in buying a live tree and stringing it with lights. After many years of irritation and anger, I pivoted to my artificial and love it! It’s big (11 ft?- I have a very tall ceiling in my living room) so even getting the guys to put it together is sometimes a production but it’s SO much better than the live tree friction I experienced. I have a friend ready to come and help with the ornaments if I can’t lift my arms.I’m on the steroids so still feeling pretty well, though felt exhausted last night. My face is beet red with the steroids, so attractive!
Hope you both have good days!
Cat
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PS Bird glad scar is closed and doing ok!
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Cat:
Thanks. I appreciate the empathy. It wasn't intended to say that isolation is limited to people who live alone. Cancer is a lonely place for all of us. And on that note, one of my neighbors organized a small group to dine al fresco at my favorite Thai restaurant last night. The weather was perfect - breezy and in the 70s. She brought wine and I had a half glass. It was WONDERFUL to be out socializing and to taste wine again.
I have a Balsam Hill pre-lit too! A 9' Brewer Spruce. It looks amazing. So impressed with their products. I hope you share a photo of your tree when the holidays arrive. I look forward to seeing seeing it! Back when I had cats, they loved the Christmas tree. They thought the tree skirt was for cat napping and the younger one liked climbing the tree. I had to anchor the tree to the baseboards with eye bolts and paracord. Are your fur babies interested in your tree?
After several weeks of successfully avoiding her, annoying neighbor managed to catch me once last week and again this morning when I was out playing with the dogs on the lawn. When she asks how I am, I give a canned response and if she digs deeper I just keep giving that response. I'm good. or He's good. If she keeps up with the questions, I ignore her. Must be a new side effect - selective hearing. I just don't have the energy when I'm smiling and laughing with the dogs to confront her about the constant "c" reminders.
Bird:
Thinking of you and I hope you aren't thinking of us because you're having a fantastic weekend away celebrating!
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Hello my friends! We had a very nice little staycation and are back at home. The weather is gorgeous today, but was not nice yesterday. Sadly. But we ate and drank and made merry and enjoyed each other’s company. We stayed in a cool old hotel from the 1920s. It had a snazzy rooftop terrace and we managed a coffee out there right before it started raining again. They also had an American bar— I hadn’t heard this term before moving overseas but it means a cocktail bar. Usually serving lots of classics and decorated in a 1920s style. Now we are back to cleaning smelly drains and doing laundry 🤣🤣.
I have seen Balsam Hill trees and they are gorgeous. We have a decent fake tree we bought in Vienna to replace our prelit one that we had from the states. I love putting up the tree and taking out our ornaments. It definitely sparks joy and I will do it even if we aren’t actually at home for Christmas this year.
I have my heart Echo Tuesday and blood work and get my PHESGO shot on Wednesday. I am also supposed to start Tamoxifen. Definitely feeling fatigue about the entire thing. I’d love to have more time with no treatment. Fingers crossed I don’t have significant side effects with Tamoxifen.NJ: I love restorative and yin yoga. They are my favorites! I am so happy you got out to a Thai restaurant. That sounds perfect. And good job practicing selective hearing on the nosy neighbor. I love picturing you and the dogs smiling and enjoying life. I think cancer is lonely because even with support and love, we all know that ultimately we are the ones who have to take treatments and deal with the chaos it has unleashed in our own bodies.
Cat: So I am thinking we will rent a house in Highlands for a week this Christmas season. Hopefully both sons will be there and we will bring my mom with us. It is about 20 minutes from where my MIL lives so will allow us to visit them without staying there. Do you have any particular properties you like? There is so much on Airbnb that I find it overwhelming. It looks like we have to spend 4 weeks in the states (state department rules) so I am going to ask my oncologist if it is okay to go that long between shots. Such a pain.
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Bird: Rooftop coffee and cocktails in a 1920's style bar sound like fun times! I love that whole era! The 19th amendment ratified, hemlines rising, women in pants and jazz! Cleaning drains, on the other hand, not so much fun. And Tamoxifen also sounds un-fun. Because we haven't had enough side effects to fear and cope with yet, right? I hope all goes well with your echo. I've been trying to work on basic doggo training with the fur babies on the lawn every morning. Bray needs to re-learn how to do things like sit, spin, turn and back up. They're both very engaged and think it's a game so all good and fun for them.
Cat: I hope you're having a good day and are still feeling the buzz. One more round of this horror story and we'll be over the finish line! No more sides from chemo and steroids!
What are some of the things you are looking forward to once we get past all of these annoying next steps?
Things I'm looking forward to both short and longer term, in no particular order:
- A mani/pedi!
- Indoor dining! With wine!!
- Hair growing back in those very obvious bald spots! And eyebrows and lashes!
- Getting rid of the basket of meds on the kitchen counter! It makes me feel so old.
- Remembering things. Basic things like after I turn off the alarm on my phone, that I actually take the meds I set the alarm for. Remembering to turn off the BBQ or where I put my reading glasses before I went to bed.
- Staying awake for an entire day and not being exhausted as a result!
- Cold cuts and especially a roast beef on seeded semolina with mayo! And smoked salmon and cream cheese on a toasted everything bagel!
- Port removal and no more blood thinners!
- Sensation in my toes would be lovely! And the odd finger here and there too!
- Picking my own produce at the grocery store!
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Aw. I love that list! I plan on being on our call today and hope to catch up. I bought a teeny bottle of champagne so we can celebrate when ya'll both finish up:)
Chat more in a bit I hope:)
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Good morning!
NJ: totally agree with you that this “c” journey is a lonely one, regardless if you live alone. I was feeling grumpy & isolated on Saturday. I don’t want to be talking about it with friends all the time, and I have a couple of well-intending friends who just don’t say the right thing so that gets frustrating. I like talking to hubby (who is so very even) but I feel badly that he doesn’t get a break so I try to limit the “c” talk, with mixed success. So I agree, it’s isolating and I think only those going through this journey can understand all the different angles.
NJ: of course you have a pre-lit from Balsam Hill and Bird, of course you have a pre-lit too! So many of my friends are against “fake” trees but I love mine! My mother started my family 30 years ago (and my brother’s) on White House ornaments so I also have another small tree just for those ornaments.
NJ: your Thai dinner sounded so lovely and yay for a neighbor doing something lovely and not toxic! Great that you are keeping Nosey Neighbor in her box.
Bird: the 1920’s hotel sounds really cool! Sorry you got bad weather but am hoping it was still cozy and fun.
Bird: I don’t have properties to recommend in Highlands. We actually usually stay in Cashiers and are often at friends’ houses. I do have a friend who has a house in Highlands. I’ll ask her (just emailed her) if she has any properties to recommend.
Bird: how are your parents doing?
I am doing pretty well though felt incredibly tired yesterday. I took a 3 hour nap and then was back to sleep by 9:00 pm!NJ: I really enjoyed your post chemo list! Really loved the bit about the medicine bag- I’m excited to retire that too!
My post-chemo list:
- Getting my hair colored (if I hold onto my hair)
- Using a hair tool on my hair to straighten it (if I hold onto my hair)
- Eating sushi (tuna in particular)
- Getting rid of bloating & extra pounds
- Wearing different clothes when the bloat/pounds come off (I have my “uniforms” right now)
- Staying awake past 9:00 pm
- Having more energy to interact with people (I’m good for 2 hours right now, then I get tired)
- More energy to get in better shape
- Getting rid of the big pill bag
Are we going to try to chat 10:00 am today?
Cat
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Hello! Hopefully everyone is having a good day. My Echo went fine. My heart apparently is still functioning well. I had a different cardiologist this time and she mentioned that I have a “clinically insignificant” heart leak. She said it is really tiny and most people have one so many cardiologists don’t even mention them to avoid creating anxiety. Um, she added all of that when I was clearly anxious about it. Anyways. It seems to be normal and something I will ask about each time. This is the thing about all of the scanning. It picks up stuff that is likely normal, but produces some stress.
I was so tired when I came back from the hospital that I fell asleep on the sofa for a couple of hours. I guess healing is a process, you know? Some days I am definitely more energetic than others. This is kind of funny. It shows how strong the brain/body connection is. We often drove through McDonald’s after my chemo sessions. It is literally the only drive through spot available here and I like their fries. Now when I even think of McDonald’s or see one, I literally gag. I can’t bear the thought of it. I think I just firmly associate it with chemo now. No big loss for sure.
My list:- I would love a massage and a manicure.
- Not feeling so afraid of catching a cold or whatever
- Having actual hair on my head so I can go out without a wig or hat.
- Getting back into a habit of daily exercise.
- Not falling asleep during evening tv watching
- Going on a real vacation. Outside of Finland:)
- Being able to focus enough to read books again.
NJ: Thanks for sharing your neighbor’s Tamoxifen experience. I am hopeful it will have minor side effects. And hoping no rashes. My targeted therapy also can cause rashes and diarrhea so it will be a bit before I figure out what side effects belong to what I think. Just gonna get this done and hope for the best. Do you have any plans to celebrate finishing chemo? Or will you wait and come up with them when you feel better and the side effects go away? How has sleep been? What does your team say about the neuropathy? I’ve heard good things about black Cherry extract. Hopefully it gets better after chemo ends.
Cat: We have a few of the White House ornaments. Someone at the embassy gives them out sometimes I think. At Christmas parties. My weight is up a couple of pounds after finishing chemo. I definitely have my appetite back. I need to tweak my diet and start eating healthy again. I am so bored with what I have been cooking. What are your last day of chemo plans? One thing I know about the south is they usually like a good party or celebration.
Guilty pleasure of the moment: The Barbie soundtrack 🤣
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Great lists Bird and Cat! I'm going to add a massage a to mine. I sure could use one!
Bird: Sorry that the cardiologist added to the anxiety. They'll be monitoring your heart with a post-chemo baseline so they'll have a very clear picture of any changes. I hear you on the marching forward and getting it all done. None of this is pleasant and hopefully the worst of it is behind us. All of these tests are stressful and moving on to the next phase of treatment is stressful too. So there's all the physical exhaustion and added emotional exhaustion. A nap is sometimes the best medicine.
I plan to bring mini pastries from Randazzo's bakery to celebrate last chemo and to thank the nurses for their patience and kindness throughout the process. No plans for after chemo. I'm usually exhausted by the time I pick the dogs up and get home. Maybe we'll order pizza that night 😄 - the dogs love a good pizza party. Anything more than that will have to wait until my energy level picks up.
My care team said the neuropathy may or may not go away after I finish chemo. It's been quite a while since I've had taxol and it has improved a bit but has not resolved. The toes are still tingling. I'm going to remain hopeful and will look into black cherry extract. Same with the tinnitus. It may or may not go away.
Swedish Death Cleaning Update: I had a bunch of boxes of yard sale stuff from several years ago and the Lupus Foundation truck was in the area - so off went 11 boxes of random stuff! I didn't even open them to see what was inside.
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Greetings Team April '23.
I took the dog to physical therapy. The therapist thought he should see the ER vet because she didn't like the look of the wound. He ended up having to have minor surgery this evening to resolve that. He's home and resting.
Got an email from my employer saying that my job is not guaranteed after September 29th. Really frightening given that my surgery won't be until October and then I still have radiation to get through and two more surgeries after that.
Needless to say, I'm not sleeping. 😒
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NJ: Ugh. I’m so sorry. What a day you have had. I was wondering about your job. That really stinks and adds to your stress level I am sure. I hope Bray is resting well now and you too. Let me know if you want to chat later. I am hoping you get to sleep
I just finished getting my PHESGO shot. So my liver values aren’t great still so they want them to improve before I take the Tamoxifen. My ALT isn’t super high and is still “okay” but they want to make sure it goes back down before we add anything else. I also have what seems to be Superficial thrombophlebitis in my arm. It isn’t painful or overly swollen, but we are watching it. I will have an ultrasound next week if it doesn’t subside. I have some cream to put on it. Chris is gone next week so now he is all freaked out. I think it will be fine but am keeping a close eye on it.
And the director of nursing has told mom that he thinks we should start hospice care for dad. So I might not have until Christmas. She is talking more to them today. Ugh.
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Hi friends,
Boy you both have your plates really full. I am truly sorry for all the stress in addition to just trying to get through the BC and treatment plans.
NJ : how is pup doing today? I don’t know why these things always seem to happen on the weekends or at night. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to muster up the energy in the wee hours to get him to the vet, but of course you did as you are a great Dogmom. Ugh, so sorry too about your job update. It feels unconscionable to me. Like Bird, I’m around if you want to talk. So much on your plate my friend.
Bird: agree with the anxiety provoking EKG and the arm swelling. In addition to the cream, would it help to elevate it and minimize salt? I’ve heard asparagus is a good diuretic. When might you need to come to the states now with the change in your dad’s hospice situation?I hit a wall big time yesterday. I was feeling queasy around 10:00 am (unusual for me). I didn’t make it to bridge (felt too ill) and that blew up the game as there were 5 of us and another player also cancelled. Her excuse was not managing her calendar. Some of the players were irritated with her as she’s done this before willy nilly.. No irritation with my excuse but I think going forward I’ll be a “maybe” instead of a “confirmed yes” to allow wiggle room if I suddenly feel ill like yesterday.
I took to the bed around 11:00 am and literally slept most of the day. Was asleep for the night at 8:40 pm. I remember NJ having 3 days of 16 hours of sleep so I figured this was similar.
The South DOES love a celebration but I don’t want one when I ring the bell. A photo shared with my family will be enough for me.Sending virtual hugs-
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Bird: Such a horrible day! I'm so sorry. If I'm remembering, always questionable these days, you're 3 weeks out from final chemo. Is that correct? I think it takes a month or more for our numbers to start getting back to normal. It sounds like everything is trending in the right direction. Disappointing to have to hold off on treatment though. Superficial thrombophlebitis sounds frightening too. We're going to need shovels to dig our way out of the anxiety pile. I'm so sorry about your dad. I hope they provide great support for him and for your mom through this decision making process.
Cat: Sorry that you aren't feeling well. I kept thinking the insane amount of sleep was my body needing to regenerate in combination with my brain needing a rest too. Sounds like you're just going with it too. Not that it's a choice. It's an overwhelming kind of tired. The sleep doesn't feel like it's optional. I hope you're feeling better today. re: Bridge - I expect your bridge group is as amazed as we have been that you've managed to play all this time. And so kind of the player with no good excuse to ease any guilt you might have felt!! ❤️
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Morning gals,
Ended up back in bed last night/late afternoon. I guess I just need a lot of rest right now and I’m ok with that. Hubby is headed to Cashiers for a guys trip. I’m glad for him and for me. Sometimes convalescing in my own space and alone can be a nice break, plus my daughter will be home from Richmond today. Hubby is very high energy so the quiet when he leaves can be a nice change. My daughter has great energy but it’s different from hubby’s which is more intense. It’ll be nice to have her back.
NJ: excited for you today! Wow, we are all getting there and the bubbly awaits! Hope all goes well today and that pup is on the mend. Do the pups eat pizza?
Bird: hope you are doing better. Do you want me to inquire about Cashiers rentals? A good friend has a house there’s and hosted a wedding so she might know of something. If so, how many bedrooms are you thinking?
A friend asked me to help her do the flowers for her son’s rehearsal dinner. It’s low-key, 30 people at her house. The plan was for us to do them together but she now has a cold. I put up “c” caveats (I.e. if I’m not feeling well, I can’t do them (6 arrangements)). Anyway, it’s still stressful. I’m going to try to do them tomorrow morning. Mornings are when I’m at my best. She’s at the ready to takeover if needed but still…… kind of interesting. Stay tuned!
Cat
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Hello friends! Yesterday sounded like a tough day all around for us. I am hoping that Thursday is much better all around. I am elevating my arm (thanks Cat) and using the cream. I think it is less painful and has subsided a bit. So that is good. I do think it is where they gave me the infusion during the last chemo so I think it is healing. I really think hubby could use a bit of a break so I want him to go next week and not worry about us. I feel a little blah today. Just a headache and a bit of the stomachache. Pretty normal for the medicine I think. My dad’s prognosis is “weeks or months”. Hospice thinks he will probably be here at Christmas, but he isn’t eating and I suspect he doesn’t want to linger in this state. So I am tentatively planning on going solo after radiation in October for 2 weeks. Even if my dad barely knows I am there, my mom needs support. Then we will go back at Christmas. I will wear my compression hose and make sure I stand a lot.
NJ: Thank you for the blood work reminder. You are so right. I think it just needs a bit more time to go back to normal. I am hoping Bray continues to do well. I am SO happy for you today! This day once seemed so far away! You have been a rock star and rolled right through all kinds of stress and such a tough chemo regimen. Enjoy your pastries♥️♥️♥️. I am hoping this last go round goes gentle for you.
Cat: Aw. I am so sorry that you weren’t feeling well yesterday. I am hoping that you are feeling better today. Your body definitely needs the extra rest. I also think that chemo gives you permanent wiggle room with your Bridge buddies. I also think they probably find you amazing as well. And I get that a quiet bell ringing ceremony sounds nicer to me as well.
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