Fill Out Your Profile to share more about you. Learn more...

I'm terrified

londongirl99 Member Posts: 23

My cancer started as small, Grade 1, HR+, HER-. Following surgery it went to - very large, invading muscle layer, so not totally resectable, high Ki67 and a positive lymph node.

Now I have noticed night sweats and this morning I feel nauseous. Oncologist apt is not til next Monday. I'm not telling my husband about the nausea.

I'm 63 - this is a second primary bc. First was IDC 18yrs ago.

I'm assuming I have secondaries somewhere which are causing the night sweats and especially the nausea. I'm going to die.

I'm terrifed.

Also - should I be asking for a referral to a center of excellence hospital? I'm currently with a community based cancer specialist group just outside of DC in Arlington VA. We just moved here from LA. I don't know anyone.

But there's probably no point anyway.

Help, help, help.


  • mavericksmom
    mavericksmom Member Posts: 1,127
    edited July 2023

    Hi londongirl99! Take a deep breath and relax! You will find a lot of support here; I suspect the Moderators will comment too.

    I have had breast cancer three times, my first two were 15 1/2 years apart. Last one less than a year ago. I will hit the big 7-0 in a month! ugh!

    The nausea could be from nerves or a hundred different things. I had it after my last surgery and am still bothered by it on and off. Waiting until Monday to see Oncologist is not going to hurt you. You could call your breast surgeon's office today and tell them about the hot flashes and nausea. They might be able to offer some help.

    You can absolutely get a second opinion, but I would wait until you see your medical oncologist first. Find out what the plan moving forward will be and THEN get a second opinion if you are not completely on board with the plan.

    I have been treated by three different teams of doctors at two different hospitals for my cancers. Breast cancer is pretty much what they call a "cookbook cancer." For most of us, it is a matter of what type we have and there is already a common treatment plan listed. Of course some cases are complicated and that isn't the case, but most of us fall into the "you have this type, grade, etc, you get this treatment" scheme of things. The main thing is to have competent doctors and have trust in them. Don't assume large hospitals have better care.

    I don't know if I helped, but please continue to post here! You have reached out to the most caring breast cancer community with a plethora of knowledge. You will have a great deal of support here!

    Waiting is the worst, but you don't need to wait alone! This community is here for you! I know others will comment! Hang in there!

  • mandy23
    mandy23 Member Posts: 104

    Hi @londongirl99 -

    So sorry you have to be here and go through this again! However, glad you have posted and you can find support here!

    Take a breath. You can't change anything by getting all stressed out about it. My guess also is that some of your symptoms might be stress related. We get it. I am also on round 2 of this beast with a 19 year gap in between. Quite the shock when you thought you had beat it isn't it? Take a walk. Hug your loved ones/pets and do something to take your mind off it until you know what you are dealing with. Once you have a more complete picture, you can post in a forum where others have similar bc and can offer more specific advice.

    Just try and take things one step at a time. You don't know what you don't know. Deal with it as you get more information.

    HUGGSSS to you!!!! 💗

  • kaynotrealname
    kaynotrealname Member Posts: 369

    Hi London! I am going to take a different stance and remind you that even if it's worse case scenario (which chances are a lot of your symptoms are caused by stress so that's not the case) it still won't be as bad as you fear. Stage 4 cancers have fantastic treatments now and aren't an immediate death sentence. Shoot some women I've read on this site have made it past 10 years doing relatively quite well. Breast cancer treatments in the last 20 years have improved by leaps and bounds.

    BTW night sweats I know can be caused by stress because I've had them. The same with nausea. In fact those aren't real common symptoms of breast cancer metastasis. I'm not going to mention what are common symptoms because it doesn't matter but know that those aren't it. You've had a traumatic experience with finding out your pathology results and panic attacks can abound. Just remember that it will pass and you can deal with it and if you need help dealing with it, reach out your hand here. Someone will always try and hold it.

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 7,912

    @londongirl99 Welcome to!

    We're so very sorry for the reasons that bring you here, but we're so glad you've found us. As you can already see, our amazing Community is full of helpful members always willing to offer advice, information, encouragement, and support — we're all here for you!

    You've received some great advice already, and it's true that your night sweats and nausea are likely your nerves on edge. Try to stay calm and once you have a treatment plan in place, you'll feel much better. We're sending big hugs to you. Please keep us posted!

    —The Mods

  • londongirl99
    londongirl99 Member Posts: 23

    Thank you all. I am, of course, feeling a little better. Your help and support are huge. From people who've been there too. Especially 2nd or third time. I had let my guard down after 18 years so it was absolutely the biggest shock. Followed by relief that it didn't seem to bad, and then the terror when it all changed in the 30 seconds it took for the surgical nurse to read the sentences in the pathology report. It's been like a wolf in sheep's clothing.

    But - the nausea has stopped (fingers crossed) and I haven't had a night sweat in a few days.

    I was indeed, in a flat-out panic.

    I didn't add, but I have also just resigned from a job of 15 years which I had loved. We had a new person in charge arrive in February and it has been a disaster, not just for me. This person's behaviour caused me so much distress on top of cancer. (And this is an organisation that is supposed to be all about caring for people 😫). Yesterday was my last day and I am so relieved. The finances have taken a back seat. I'm almost 64 anyway, so I was sort of ready.

    I spoke with the LCSW at the practice and she was comforting. Now we just have the weekend to wait. We liked the oncologist at the beginning - very whole-patient oriented. Trying to make plans for the weekend. New information and plans will probably bring more shock on Monday, while my husband and I try to adjust to it, but I'll be more prepared for that this time.

    This is the best support group. Not throwing horror stories out there or telling me to buck up and get over it and other people have it worse etc. Which they do. But we feel what we feel.

    You are all brave women. First to have lived, and be living with this more than once, and then to take time to come and write to people like me.

    Thank you.