Come join others currently navigating treatment in our weekly Zoom Meetup! Register here: Tuesdays, 1pm ET.
Fill Out Your Profile to share more about you. Learn more...
Webinar: Corrective Breast Reconstruction: Getting the Results You Want Join us July 9, 2024 at 6pm ET. Register here.

Starting Chemo August 2023

Options
13

Comments

  • fireflyhill
    fireflyhill Member Posts: 28
    Options

    Well the A/C is sorta kicking my butt. Each round seems to take more out of me. I finally feel some better today, not super great but geez, I'll take it. Each round also makes me more emotional: angry, sad, frustrated, a little bit hateful😕 …maybe a lot hateful. Nothing, not even one little joy note was added to my joy jar this last week. I even thought about making a Piss Pot, to hold all the negative thoughts…got scared it would be full too quick, lol. I feel a bit ashamed but Im being honest with ya'll. We need to be honest here, this is our safe zone. Cancer Sucks. Hopefully this next week will be much better and I can acknowledge some joy.( Of course, I wouldn't really make a Piss Pot, its just were my head has been at lately)

    suckitbc-how are you doing? How is your sister? I hope she is back home and feeling better. We really need to keep away from covid, flu, etc. but its going to be hard.

    cindylou- I trust your port placement and next treatment went smoothly. wildflower, rugger11, red-lioness-how are you all feeling this week? Let us know. We can share our good, bad, and ugly.

    I've lost more of my few remaining head hairs. I still have not cut the weird stragglers. Im not sure why. Maybe because they are being sooo defiant and not letting go, that I wish to honor them by letting them live as long as they can hold out. I also have not ordered a better wig or more head covers. I just have not even cared about it this past week. That is me being stubborn and defiant.

    Thanks for letting me vent.

  • rugger11
    rugger11 Member Posts: 9
    Options

    firefly - I 'm so sorry this round has been tougher for you, but I'm glad you're starting to feel a little better. One thing I noticed is that my negative thoughts and depressed feelings tend to heighten when I'm experiencing really bad side effects. Although, last night I broke down crying in anticipation of my infusion today. Cancer does suck! And it's okay to having those negative/depressed thoughts at times. I met with a therapist this week who noted that this is a trauma. We're all going through trauma right now. It's totally normal to go to those darker places, but the key is to not get stuck there. One thing he said that stuck with me is that cancer already/is taking up your time. Try not to let it consume your present with the negative thoughts. But try to process and move forwards. I'm probably not saying it as eloquently as he did and I know it's easier said than done. But I thought it was a helpful to keep that in the back of my mind. That being said, I'm always anxious about side effects on infusion day because it's always an awful time for the next week and a half for me. But I'm trying to remind myself this is just a moment in time. This sucks for this moment, but we'll get through this! Stay strong firefly! You can do this! Hang on to your hairs as long as you need to!

    suckitbc - I hope your 3rd infusion went well! I'm praying the side effects don't get too out of hand this round!

    cindy - I hope your port placement went well and that it makes things easier for you!

    Hang in there everyone! ❤️

  • suckitbc
    suckitbc Member Posts: 19
    Options

    Firefly-how are you feeling? I remember when I had ACT the effects were cumulative. Every treatment beat me up a little more. Yes cancer does suck! It really does! I am actually a therapist though I try not to be one on here, but I absolutely agree with yours. This is trauma. I’m glad you’re seeing someone, I recommend you all see a therapist through this. Support groups are great as well.

    rugger-I agree, the negative thoughts are heightened the crappier you feel. I think it’s important to remember that it’s okay to breakdown and cry and complain and feel sorry for yourself. This is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do and it’s really really unfair!

    I had round 3 yesterday and feel icky. It totally sucks, there’s no other way to describe it. The most helpful distraction for me is bingeing tv or watching a good movie. Anyone watching anything good they’d recommend?

  • cindylou416
    cindylou416 Member Posts: 33
    Options

    Hi everyone, having a very tough week. I’m coming to the realization that each week after I get my treatment, I feel bad for a little longer. Is it just me or do you all feel that way? This week I still feel like crap three days after, I don’t feel like eating anything and I’m forcing myself to have soup or a bottle of Ensure but nothing tastes good and nothing sounds good. I have been sleeping to escape from feeling so crappy and also because I’m so tired - it just plain sucks. I definitely agree with the term icky, because I feel so icky and it’s mostly my G.I. tract. I’ve been taking Compazine for nausea and the MiraLAX, I just want some relief. I will tell you straight out- i always feel like I’m being poisoned and obviously we all are! Thanks Rugger for sharing those words from the therapist. I am going to keep that with me because it makes so much sense. We’re already giving cancer enough of our time, so try not to dwell on it if we can help it. Fire fly-I did get my port in on Monday finally and it’s taking a few days to stop being so sore and itchy. They already used it on Tuesday and it was 1000% better than getting stuck repeatedly in your arms. It feels like someone is putting a push pin into a corkboard and then it’s over . SIBC- my husband just gave me a recommendation on Netflix. It’s called manifest and I am now hooked on that. I believe there’s four seasons it’s very good 👍 if anyone has any tips on how to feel better or what works for you please share

    Cindy❤️

  • fireflyhill
    fireflyhill Member Posts: 28
    Options

    Cindy-I definitively find the chemo effects to be cumulative. I had to get up last night for GI & sleep issues at 10 days post!! Im still very tired and grouchy. I keep waiting to make the turn to feeling better.

    Rugger- thanks for sharing your therapist comments. I am a bit worried about getting stuck in the negative as that typically is not me. This has been the longest post treatment depression and anger I have felt so far. I could probably use a good cry fest. I keep getting all teared up missing my mother who I lost 19 years ago. I know she would be here for me if she were still alive. Then I think," Im so glad she doesn't have to be here to see this as she would be so upset for me" then that makes me tear up too!! I trust this depression/emotional rollercoaster doesn't get any worse. I hope your treatment went smooth and hope you bounce back quick.

    suckitbc-hope you bounce back quick too! Yes, I find tv helps and I do not usually watch that much TV. I will check out Cindys manifest show. Anyone else have any Tv suggestions? Or good books to read?

    Exercise, Exercise: I read over and over to stay as active as you can and to keep at least walking or other exercise. Im really going to try to make myself walk a bit more tomorrow. Its really hard when the fatigue just knocks you down but research suggest it actually helps to combat fatigue and depression.

  • fireflyhill
    fireflyhill Member Posts: 28
    Options

    forgot to add: Hugs and Cheers🌈 Gotta be something great for us at the end of this journey. Stay strong.

  • njdogmom
    njdogmom Member Posts: 181
    Options

    Stopping in to cheer you on. I had my final round of AC chemo on 9/7 and am scheduled for surgery tomorrow. Radiation and more immunotherapy to follow. I know chemo feels like an eternity while we're in the midst of it. It's a long and difficult grind but there's a last chemo and the side effects from that round subside several weeks later. Your last chemo date is coming too!

    I was driving home from picking up groceries last week and had taken my port pillow off the seat belt and put it in the wash. The weather was beautiful and I had the windows and sunroof open. A song came on the radio and I started singing out loud. For a couple of minutes I was me again. Then I cried because I realized I hadn't done this since my diagnosis in February. A day comes when chemo is behind you and you have no reminders like a port pillow with a pink ribbon on it keeping your head in that dark space. A day comes when then sun shines on your face and you sing out loud again.

    Fireflyhill - venting the negative thoughts with others who are going through this horror story and finding humor where we could is what kept our April cohort sane.

  • cindylou416
    cindylou416 Member Posts: 33
    Options

    Dogmom

    Can’t tell you how happy I am to hear from you. Thank you for lifting us up and reminding us that there is an end to this! I am so incredibly happy that you were rewarded with a beautiful piece of normalcy after all that you've endured, you deserve every minute of it!

    Today is your surgery day. My thoughts are with you and I’m sending good vibes, hugs and love your way.

    Cindy ❤️

  • fireflyhill
    fireflyhill Member Posts: 28
    Options

    ngdogmom- You are so thoughtful to stop in and remind us of the light shining for us all at the end of the "tunnel". Thank you for sharing the moment of joy and normalcy you felt.

    Wishing you a most speedy recovery from surgery. Please drop in anytime!🐶

  • cindylou416
    cindylou416 Member Posts: 33
    Options

    There hasnt been much activity this month.

    Are we all suffering silently? I know I had some very dark days this month and struggled with nausea. I brought it to my docs attention and she changed my anti-nausea medication. I now get it in my IV right before my treatment and it’s working. The past three days have been fairly good instead of dark, and I will gladly take that.

    I hope you all are doing ok out there, post an update if you can ❤️Cindy

  • fireflyhill
    fireflyhill Member Posts: 28
    Options

    Yes, our group just went so quiet. Nice to hear from you, Cindy. Glad you are feeling better lately.

    I had my last A/C on the 11th. Start first Taxol this week. I have not bounced back from the last 2 rounds of A/C so am a bit nervous facing a new drug and a weekly regimen. I did finally crawl out of the dark side, but have much fatigue, some depression and just general apathy.

    Weather was so beautiful yesterday. i just sat in the sun and tried to energize myself…will likely do the same today because it is suppose to turn cold this week.

    Hope everyone is doing alright and can check in. Cheers💕

  • rugger11
    rugger11 Member Posts: 9
    Options

    Nice to hear from you Cindy and Firefly!

    Cindy - glad you are feeling better and the anti nausea medication is working and that you've been able to come out of the dark place.

    Firefly - Congrats on completing you last A/C! And I'm glad you were able to get through the dark place as well!

    During my last two rounds I had a few really dark days as well. I honestly think the chemo can affect your serotonin and/or dopamine levels (although I haven't really done much research), because the first day out of my dark place, I felt it as soon as I woke up, like my brain/body had recalibrated. The side effects have been getting worse and lasting longer which from what I was told is to be expected, but still the reality of experiencing it is overwhelming at time. I also had some mild occasional pain in my armpit and when feeling around I felt like I might felt a couple of very small firmer spots, but I can't tell if I'm in my head and being paranoid or if it's something to be concerned about. I did contact my care team and have a office visit scheduled for Wed. In the meantime I keep trying to distract myself from the constant anxiety. Thankfully, my little guy helps with that :)

    I hope everyone is doing okay and enjoying the fall weather when you can! Stay strong everyone 💜

  • njdogmom
    njdogmom Member Posts: 181
    Options

    I think of you all often and am sending healing and patience vibes your way. Where are you all at in your chemo schedules? It feels like forever when you're in the midst of it and yet here we are in November. I hope you are all getting lots of rest, staying hydrated and are taking great care of yourselves.

  • cindylou416
    cindylou416 Member Posts: 33
    Options

    Thanks for checking in dogmom❤️

    I feel the need for more support at this point in the journey because it can get lonely when things quiet down. Staying positive and distracted with things to do helps and I think the fact that Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming closer is a blessing. It will keep us all busy as we get through the last couple months. My last trtmt should be 12/26

    Rugger I hope everything went well at your office visit😊

    Firefly i am sorry to hear the AC hit you pretty hard. Im hearing that it makes you really tired, I am about to start my AC (11/14) and Im scared i wont lie I hope i tolerate it well

  • njdogmom
    njdogmom Member Posts: 181
    Options

    You have my number Cindy. Text me if you ever need a virtual hug! The middle of chemo felt vague and surreal. There's all the stress and anxiety of switching to a new chemo regimen added to the knowledge that the first half felt like forever. There's also a longer wait between infusions which made me feel like I was not making progress. I agree the holidays will be helpful. They're just weeks away and so is your last chemo infusion.

  • fireflyhill
    fireflyhill Member Posts: 28
    Options

    Hi everyone. I was to start my 12 week taxol 11/1. Unfortunately, I had another severe reaction to the taxol at about 10cc infusion dose. I mean severe, anaphylactic. so it had to stop. Had followup appt with my MO this week, and we are ending my chemo treatments since I simply can not take taxanes. It has been a confusing time for me. I am so depleted and drained from the A/C that I am ready for some recovery, However, I can not shake the feeling of unsettledness/sadness/worry that I was unable to complete my recommended treatment course. It is very very strange. I never imagined I could "fail" chemo??? I am now waiting to have my port removed and then will start radiation. Still waiting on appointments. Also started on Femara now, although I may need to stop it when radiation starts.

    Cindy, I totally understand how you feel about getting lonely. I feel the same way. I have never in my life felt as lonely as I have in this cancer journey. It is a feeling that is hard to express. I actually am really worried about not having appointments at the chemo center until next march: my Chemo nurses were so wonderful and they just had a way of lifting my soul!! Do not be afraid of the A/C , you will get through it. Might have different experience(sides) than with the taxol, but doable.

    Rugger-I hope your armpit worries were nothing and you are holding up through these last treatments. You must be close to Cindys schedule and hopefully you both are on the down hill side of the chemo mountain.

    dogmom-i hope you are recovering from surgery well! So nice of you to cheer us on.

    I wish Wildflower and Red Lioness could check in. I hope they are holding up. I can not help but worry about how they are.

    Ladies, when you get really down: remember if you can take the medicine/treatment as recommended and get to the other side, that is great!! At least you are able to do all you can to stomp out this cancer!!

    Hope everyone has a wonderful thanksgiving.🦃❤️🎃

  • red_lioness
    red_lioness Member Posts: 9
    Options

    Hello Ladies,

    I am long overdue to check in. I have been keeping up with how you all are doing but not very good about writing.

    Last week I finished my 12th round of Taxol and I start AC this Thursday. I am recovering from a nasty upper respiratory virus.

    I knew when I got this diagnosis it was going to be a long difficult time. I did not fully understand how brutal the mental aspect of this all would be. Not knowing how I would feel from one day to the next, the frustrations of my body changing and having no control of it, having to step back from my business to focus on my health, seeing other people my age continue to thrive and live their lives while I am being sucked into dark places over and over again…. The mental health aspect of breast cancer is overwhelming.

    Overall, I have been doing okay. But as you all know, some days are wretched. I get so moody, feel bad about being in awful mood, then turn around and think its all okay. I hate that I feel so self involved and not able to be fully present for my friends and family. I think the worst day for me was my 36th birthday, was in no mood to celebrate and cried a lot.

    I have been so fortunate that my friends and family have been visiting me. My mom and brother are flying out today so I will have them for Thanksgiving. Having visitors has been a good distraction.

    I started getting the hot flashes about a month ago. I was started on gabapentin to help with them at night and I think it is helping. It is nice to know there are options to control these side effects both for the short and long term aspect of the disease.

    Some days it really does feel like I need to wake up from a bad dream. I distract myself with binging tv for sure! That and taking hot baths and edibles 😂. Yesterday was the first day I had energy after this virus wiped me out. I made muffins and it felt so amazing to get lost in baking. I felt so much like my normal self and it was glorious.

    Cindy-you and I are chemo twins. My last scheduled AC is 12/28.

    firefly-I am so sorry about your body's adverse reaction to the taxol. That sounds so miserable and I too would be upset.

    rugger- I also had painful armpits some days, it was really worrisome and then would pass. I hope it has resolved for you.

    suckitbc- thank you for checking in and sharing.

    dogmom- it does feel surreal and yet I can't believe three months are behind me!

    I really appreciate you all sharing.

  • fireflyhill
    fireflyhill Member Posts: 28
    Options

    red_lioness-I am so glad that you posted an update! I have been wondering how you were doing. It definitely has been a more "dark" journey than I anticipated. I honestly feel so deeply for the younger ladies going through this horrible ordeal. I can not help but worry about everyone. It is wonderful when you have friends and family to support you but it must be hard for them to relate to what we are experiencing. I know I have become Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde to my DH.

    I am older, but no matter the age, I don't think we can walk this road without some self reflection. For myself, I keep thinking and asking myself: what do you want on the other side of this? What hidden side of yourself do you want to release? How can you most enjoy the wonders of life when you are able to resume life? I sometime feel like I want to be a "transformed me" when I am finished with this cancer "stuff". The reality is….I Am Not Sure what I want that to be!!! And that makes me feel sort of confused…and dumb. How can I still not know??? After all this….. !! Hmm, that's life: no matter our age, we are always learning, evolving, changing.

    It is a very big journey….

    So let us eat all the yummy treats we want this holiday and give thanks for the love that surrounds us.❤️

  • cindylou416
    cindylou416 Member Posts: 33
    Options

    Hi everybody, I’m so glad to see that you all checked in. I have been thinking about all of you and how you’re doing throughout this journey that we all share. Fire fly. You took the words and thoughts right out of my mouth and brain. A lot of reflection has been happening during this journey of how I want to spend my time once we are passed this ordeal. How do I want to spend my time, how can I enrich my life, what travel plans can I make? What are some of the goals that I want to achieve? We’ve had a lot of time alone to think and ponder these things I intend to make the most of all my good days going forward!

    Red lioness, I’m sorry for what you’re going through, but you’re not alone we have to make self care our priority in order to get through this. It is temporary and we will get to the finish line soon but yes it’s been a beast. I will agree. I’ve lost 34 pounds dropped 2 pant sizes. Look so bony and sick, I can’t stand looking at myself in the mirror, but I hope I will gain the weight back after this. I realize now I would rather be a little bit overweight, than look like this.

    I just had my first AC treatment this past Tuesday and honestly I don’t feel better or worse than when I was getting the TC, it’s just different. I’m noticing a sore throat some nausea, more tired and overall just icky. My last treatment is scheduled for 12/26 Merry Christmas to me 🌹

    Best to you all Happy Thanksgiving

  • cindylou416
    cindylou416 Member Posts: 33
    Options

    Hi all,

    anyone notice a cough while on the AC?

    i didnt have it with TC, but three days after AC i am noticing if i breath in too deeply l have to cough


    thanks

    Cindy

  • rugger11
    rugger11 Member Posts: 9
    Options

    Hi everyone!

    It is good to hear from everyone! I've completed 5/6 TCHP treatments. My last one is 12/1 and I'm ready to just get it over with! II feel like some of my side effects have gotten better and others worse. I get so nauseous when I move around a lot, but we've changed up my meds which has helped a little. I'm also just really tired at times. For some reason I have some guilt/avoidance for napping during the day. I just feel like I should be doing something or I don't want to take a nap because I woke up 2-3 hours ago. I have been trying to keep myself distracted with movies/shows and (per my therapist) scheduling times during the day that I do something productive as well as scheduling times to nap during the day, which has helped. Yesterday, was one of the last nicer weather days I think we'll have for a while and after a nap, I had the energy to have a mom and son date to the park. We were only there for about 20-30 minutes but he loved every minute of it and although I did have some nausea for the bulk of it, so did I! There were moments that felt completely normal which was really a blessing and I really cherish those moments.

    Dogmom - Thanks for checking in!

    Cindy - I hope your first round of A/C went okay. I completely feel you with getting lonely when things quiet down. This whole experience can feel extremely isolating, especially from those not going through it. That's one reason I am so glad to have you all! Hang in there! I hope you are able to spend some time with family/friends for the holidays!

    Firefly - I am so sorry you had a bad reaction to the A/C! I'm sure that had to be a scary experience for you! My doctor said the armpit pain was probably nerve pain and that the firmer spots I felt were just normal fatty tissue. I'm really trying to avoid touching myself on the breast cancer side anymore because I always think I feel something that I can't feel on the non-cancer side and start getting nervous.

    Red Lioness - Congrats on finishing the Taxol! I hope the A/C goes okay for you. Happy belated birthday! I'm so sorry you had to spend it in a darker place this year, but hopefully we're going through all of this so we can spend many more celebrating. I'm happy you've been able to have visitors. I agree it really does help. Also, its comforting knowing that I'm not the only one having armpit pains at times! It's really easy for me to start spiraling thinking the worst care scenario.

    I hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving and that you are able to spend some time with family/friends. Hang in there and stay safe!

  • fireflyhill
    fireflyhill Member Posts: 28
    Options

    Hope everyone had a festive Thanksgiving. Now its on to Christmas shopping and trying to snag those super deals. Honestly, I do not seem to have much enthusiasm for it so far this year.

    Everyone is on the downhill side of chemo! I had my radiation mapping last week but I still do not have a start date for the actual therapy. I will receive 20 blasts (4weeks). I started my Aromotase inhibitor, letrozole(Femera) 2 weeks ago. So far I am able to tolerate it. The timing of all the treatment seems to run like molasses but we are getting closer to the other side.

    Cindy, I did not have any issues with cough while on the A/C. Hope this resolves for you without issue. I'm sorry to hear you have lost so much weight. I only lost about 10 lbs on the AC and it bounced right back after Ac left my system. I really need to lose weight….and isn't that par for the course with this evil cancer….you, who didn't need to lose it, did; and I, who needed to , didn't. As I get my strength back next few weeks I am trying to develop a good plan for exercising (I do not really enjoy it) to improve my muscles. I am hoping the radiation does not cause me so much fatigue, at least not as bad as the chemo did.

    Has anyone put up the Christmas tree yet? I'm thinking of trying to get mine up this week. Maybe it would bolster my spirits and if I start now I could just work on it as I feel up to it.

    Hang in there, ladies.💪

  • red_lioness
    red_lioness Member Posts: 9
    Options

    Hello,

    firefly, I love to hear you are moving froward and have some insight on what we be going through on the other side of chemo. I was told I will have about a month between chemo and radiation and January would be a good time to get away. I hung some lights and snowflakes last week which has made it feel so festive but have not gotten a tree yet.

    rugger, 12/1 will be here soon! That is something to be thankful for.

    Cindy, tomorrow will be one month until your final AC woot woot. Has your cough continued?

    After my AC on 11/16, I had the first really awful nausea that weekend. Thank goodness for those meds and edibles. I started having chest pains and (severe) shortness of breath when I woke thanksgiving day. I talked with the on call oncologist and we decided I could wait and see if it got better since I was away from the city. Yesterday was a bit better but still worrisome. I was absent minded and didn't realize the Dr. office would be closed until Monday. This morning I woke early with really awful night sweats that left me cold, I sat up and had scary heart pain that made me clutch me chest. I went to the ER. They evaluated me for blood clots, heart attack, and effusion- all looked normal. My bloodwork was similar to what my weekly has been. I was sent home to rest and take otc pain meds until I can talk to my oncology team on Monday.

    Some of this pain has subsided but it was scary. The on call oncologist I spoke with this morning said this is so common on AC and it is often the heart is irritated but okay. I will be patient and take it very easy until then.

    I hope you all avoid this stupid side effect.

    Betty

  • wildflower75
    wildflower75 Member Posts: 5
    Options

    Hi all,

    I'm so sorry that I have not been logging in. I loved catching up on all your messages and it made me feel a little less alone. I finished up my 12 weekly Taxol treatments and started A/C last Saturday. That was a shock to my system. I was tolerating the Taxol quite well and was able to manage the side effects and live a somewhat "normal" life. My first dose of A/C was horrible. I thought I was going to die. I didn't get out of bed for 5 days and was sick as a dog. I just slept and tried not to be sick. I could not eat or drink for over two full days. I was so nauseous. I called the cancer centre and they initially said they could not give me medications because the risk of having heart problems. Apparently, A/C is bad for the heart and they don't like to prescribe Zolfran. Is this true for you too? In any case, they did prescribe me Zolfran for the next round. I hope this helps. I am dreading my next treatment on Saturday, absolutely dreading it.

    At this point, I am returning to work for a few days but I have bone pain from the Neulasta. I feel like such a complainer but it really has been awful. In addition to all this, the scheduling system for my treatment messed up and caused some delay (my Thursday treatments were moved to Saturdays due to a technical error). This is a small annoyance but I had plans for Christmas and such. I am learning not to make plans and to try and completely let go of any belief that I have any control over this journey.

    It seems that I am on the same schedule as many of you finishing up with A/C on Dec 30. I have my first appointment booked with the radiologist on Jan 22.

    Side note, I'm in Canada and I went to a medical doctor to get cannabis prescribed to me for the nausea. The doctor asked how I could possible not have noticed that I have a 6 cm lobular carcinoma in my breast. I am so tired of this question. You would be surprised how many medical professionals ask me this. How did I let this happen? No, I didn't notice it… it was lobular and my breasts are dense. Why do I have to explain myself????

    Sorry for my vent sesh today. It's been a week…

  • fireflyhill
    fireflyhill Member Posts: 28
    Options

    Hi, y'all (I'm southern😀)

    Wildflower, I'm so glad you felt able to check in with us! I have often thought of you and wondered how you were doing. I was prescribed both Zofran and compazine for nausea with the AC, and I sorta rotated them. It did help me very much. But overall the A/C is just really hard. It kept me in bed for days too. Even my doctor told me it was hard and they seem to sugarcoat everything as much as possible…. but, it is doable.

    I completely understand your frustration with the seemingly silly questions/things we now have to endure. I am BEYOND tired of being weighed and having EVERYONE look at my boob!! I feel so maddened and embarrassed by it. I also have been asked multiple times if I knew I had a tumor…HELLO, I had a 2cm tumor up against my chest wall…I could not push that far in if I tried….without modern technology, I doubt it would have been found yet…I think even doctors just say things without thinking or are subconsciously deflecting away any possible chance it could happen to them. I try to keep that in mind, but it is hard sometimes.

    Redlioness-I am sad to hear you are having so much trouble with the AC. I did not have chest pain or SOB with the AC but when I read what you wrote I thought about an allergic reaction. I had the chest pain and SOB with my anaphylactic reaction to the Taxane. Just mentioning it so you do not dismiss yourself if you have chest pain or SOB. I don't know if one could have a reaction days after something, but the symptoms certainly can not be taken lightly. I hope you do not have any more trouble with that. The Adrimycin is definitely hard on the heart. I had to have a echocardiogram before I could receive it.

    Rugger-You are almost to the other side of chemo…yeah.

    A baldness update is in order. It has been 7 weeks since my last full Chemo treatment and tonight I see tiny, tiny baby hairs sprouting up here and there on my head. Yippee! However, the few long hairs I still have (I did not shave my head ) are still falling out. BooYoo. Alas, as we have read to expect, my eyebrows/eyelashes are just now falling out like crazy. I still have a few left, tho. But I'm so happy about the baby head hairs. It gives me hope.

    There will be much to celebrate by New Years…everyone will be finished with chemo therapy. I still have not put the Christmas tree up but I did manage to snag a few gifts for the kids.🎄⛄️💕

  • cindylou416
    cindylou416 Member Posts: 33
    Options

    Hi Everyone! Happy December😊final month of this crazy ride🤦🏻‍♀️. We have all been through so much, it has tested our physical and mental strength -brought us to tears many times. Hardest thing I have ever gone through and its going to take some time on the other side of this to shake it and find some normal again.

    Firefly- keep us posted on the radiation treatments, hopefully this will be an absolute breeze compared to what youve been through. My husband and I bought a brand new Christmas tree this year couple weeks before Thanksgiving and I started putting it together slowly to keep myself busy and distracted. I am now starting to put the ornaments on and it’s looking quite beautiful I also bought some vertical hanging lights with stars on them for my bay window trying to be a little extra festive this year. My cough has resolved thankfully, but I became severely anemic last week and had to go in to get a blood transfusion the day after Thanksgiving. Feeling 100% better now was definitely a good decision.

    Wildflower-I am so sorry to hear what you went through with the AC. I was terrified when I went for my first AC when I saw three tubes of the red devil. Oh my goodness. Taxol had become manageable and then wham -this stuff is so much different. Definitely knocks you on your butt and takes over your G.I. tract. Can you take Zyrtec or Claritin to help with the bone pain?

    Red Lioness- i am so sorry for what you went through, what a scare! I hope things go smoothly from here on out. I also had an echocardiogram and had to stop taking some of my heart medication’s because of interactions with the AC. Saying my prayers that I can get through the next two treatments and be done.

    Rugger- sleep! Everyone along this journey has told me how important sleep is for your body to repair itself. Never feel guilty, and get as much rest as you possibly can- self care and love will get us through this!

    Cindy❤️

  • rugger11
    rugger11 Member Posts: 9
    Options

    Red lioness - So sorry you had to go through that! I hope you are doing much better!

    Wildflower - I am so sorry the cannabis MD asked you that and that other medical professionals have asked that too. That's so crazy to me and incredible unprofessional. I don't know if some people just think its some hard lump sitting on the top part of your breast that's easily noticed which is just not the case. I feel your frustration with this! I'm glad you are doing better after your first round of A/C!

    Firefly - Congrats on the hair growth! That's very exciting!

    Cindylou - I'm glad you're feeling better!

    I had my last dose of TCHP on Friday, so I am so thankful for that!! I unfortunately caught RSV (I think from my son who goes to daycare). But so far I'm doing okay. The ER MD put me on a steroids and albuterol and another drug for the cough. But the fever has subsided so I'm happy for that. Just hoping my WBC count doesn't get too low to fight it off from my last treatment, but so far so good!

    I hope everyone is doing well! Stay healthy!

  • fireflyhill
    fireflyhill Member Posts: 28
    Options

    Hello gals. We are well into the holiday season now. It has been a nice distraction and the lighted tree is cheerful to me. I will also be relieved when the holiday is over. We are having our Christmas early due to work schedules. Unfortunately, I will be hosting our Christmas Eve on a weekday and I have to go to radiation that day. That takes about 3 hrs due to my drive time…..I am not sure how our traditional eve dinner will turn out because of that. I just did not want to give it up our tradition because of cancer, so I will do the best that I can do.

    I have completed 5 radiation treatments. It has gone well so far. Only now do I feel a slight burn or soreness in my breast. The process is a bit embarrassing but painless. Radiation is piece of cake compared to chemo infusions, at least so far.

    A/C ladies…hang on and keep your chin up. It is cumulative in its drag on the body but by the time the new year begins you will be through it.

    Rugger—congratulations. It is so rewarding to finally have made it to the end of a course of treatment. I hope you have recovered from RSV. Do you have further treatments?

    Hope everyone can find some cheer and joy in this holiday season. Stay strong💕

  • njdogmom
    njdogmom Member Posts: 181
    Options

    Just stopping by to cheer you all on! Sending healing and strength vibes your way!! If you haven't already finished chemo, you're getting soooo close! Feeling better and somewhat human is right around the corner. I'll be finishing up with radiation on Monday. Surgery and radiation were a breeze compared to chemo.

    ❤️

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,195
    Options

    Your supportive words mean so much, @njdogmom! We'll be thinking of you on Monday as you finish up your radiation, congrats 💜

    The Mods