Please share stories around Mother's Day! Happy, sad, any reflections!

With Mother's Day celebrated in the U.S. next month, we want to hear your perspectives, memories, and thoughts.

Knowing it can be a special time for families and it can be difficult for many enduring breast cancer treatment or grieving loss, we want to acknowledge your feelings and share some stories in further in our community.

Thank you!!

Comments

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,503
    edited April 25

    @mara51506 that is so bittersweet. Your mom is watching after you 💕

  • kbl
    kbl Member Posts: 2,927
    edited April 25

    My mom passed away when I was 48, before my cancer diagnosis. I’m actually glad she didn’t know because two of my brothers were also diagnosed after her passing, one with breast cancer and one with renal cell carcinoma. That would have devastated her. She was an awesome mother and grandmother. I was the youngest of five and, naturally, spoiled. I was very close to her and miss her every day.

  • cookie54
    cookie54 Member Posts: 815

    My mom passed away from ALS when I was 33. She was a wonderful mom / grandmother and my children were 4 and 1 when she passed. I feel sad that they missed out on knowing her but grateful she got to see them. Her goal was to make it to my son's 1st birthday and she did. I cherish all the memories we had with her, will miss her always.

    I am grateful and blessed to be a mother to a 25 y/o son and 29 y/o daughter. It warms my heart to see them thrive as young adults and pave a way for their futures. On my first visit with my oncologist back in 2016 my husband asked her why she chose oncology. Her response makes me cry when I speak it today. She said; "I love being an oncologist because I give husbands back their wives and children back their mothers." I knew that very day I was meant to be her patient.

    I hope God will bless me to survive long enough to see weddings and grandchildren. Keeping the faith!

    Happy Mother's day to all whether your a Mom, Aunt, Godmother, Dog/Cat Mom, you are all make a difference in someone's life.

  • cookie54
    cookie54 Member Posts: 815

    @aijaz3 Love this, capture's mother's bonds perfectly!

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,503

    @aijaz3, welcome to our community, and thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute to Mother's Day! We're grateful to have you here. If there is anything we can do for you, please let us know.

    The Mods

  • ctmbsikia
    ctmbsikia Member Posts: 772

    While I am in the midst of spring cleanup and it's triggering some anger in me, having to do all these things I've never had to do before, I found this thread! Thank you! Happy Mother's Day to All!

    I'm thankful I had a good Mom. I am proud to be a Mom. My daughter is getting married this summer. We are so excited! I am not sure I will ever be a grandmother, but I am totally OK with that in today's climate.

    To ease some of the planting and maintenance duties I ordered some silk flowers that fit the wedding theme of wildflowers and lavender. I will put them at my house, the cemetery, and take some down to the bay cottage. Spreading the joy around in the months before the big day!

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,503

    We love the spreading of joy, @ctmbsikia! Congrats to your daughter on her upcoming wedding — we know it will be a wonderful day full of love and pure celebration! ENJOY!

    —The Mods

  • wallycat
    wallycat Member Posts: 1,388

    I envy anyone who had a decent childhood. Mother's day is not memorable to me…loved my mom but she had too many issues to list here (lived through world war II in Europe)…I hear how well my friends did, raising their kids and it solidifies my decision not to have had any.

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,503

    @wallycat we're really sorry that you had a difficult childhood. So much trauma caused from wars. Sending you lots of hugs 🤗

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,035

    my mother just passed away January 4 2024, and she and I were close. I miss her and I struggle everyday without her words. I’ve never felt such grief and sadness before. She was my closest oldest relationship/relative that I have. I wish everyday to have her back. Mother’s Day is going to be so very difficult for me this year. I guess every year but this is the first. I never wanted her to go. I hope I see her again in heaven. If there is such a place. .

  • luvdbyhim
    luvdbyhim Member Posts: 190

    My mom was an amazing single mom and still is. I never had any sisters so she is like my sister now that I am in my late 50s. She is my best friend ever. She lives 3 blocks away from me and even though she is that close and I see her frequently we speak on the phone every day. Sometimes 3 or 4 times in one day! My mom is also close with my adults daughters of which I am so grateful for. One day I called my mom to see if she wanted to run errands. She paused and then stuttered. She said Oh the girls (my daughters) and I were going out to lunch today. You can come if you want too. It warmed my heart so deeply that my girls made plans with her. I said no, go and enjoy the time with the girls without me. My mom is 75. She is in excellent health and I think she will live well into her 90s like her father. I made my girls promise me they would make sure she is never alone when her time comes since I would not have the honor of being there for my mom.

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,503

    @micmel We're so very sorry for your loss. This holiday must be very tough for you going forward, but maybe you can use it as a time to reflect on all of the wonderful times you had with your mom. Sending gentle hugs.❤️

    @luvdbyhim what a wonderful relationship you have with your mom; she clearly did a great job raising you! It's so touching having your daughters be so close to her as well — what cherished memories you all have together!

    Thank you both for sharing!

    —The Mods

  • tougholdcrow
    tougholdcrow Member Posts: 139

    My mother died of a very aggressive brain tumor that took everything, her mobility, her speech, her mind. She was the head of social services in her county and gave her life to helping poor kids. Her decline was incredibly painful to watch, but I think she will be a bodhisattva in her next life.

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,503

    @tougholdcrow your mother sounds like an amazing person. We're so sorry to hear how her life ended, but she clearly made a great impact on those around her. Sending big hugs as you remember her!

  • zen1028
    zen1028 Member Posts: 95

    My mom will be 86 at end of this month. She still going strong and she does not know about my cancer diagnoses. I am her only child and this is something that I dont want her to know. Out of all the things that I worry about after DX was her. My kids will have my husband and his family to lean to. She will/may not have anyone as my dad passed away 10 years ago. I want to spend time with her not just on mother's day. The last few times I saw her, I almost broken down and had to leave asap so she wont get any ideas on what is happening.

    I am lucky to be caught at an early stage but there is no guarantees on what the future holds. I want more mother's day and b-days with her along with my girls. Cancer blows.

  • annieincognito
    annieincognito Member Posts: 4

    I am lucky and happy most of the time. My cancer DCIS was caught early and I had a DMX on April 15, 2024, so I'm still recovering. My lovely daughter-in-law has been exceptionally helpful, taking me to the surgery and staying the night after. Buying any supplies I might want or need and cleaning up my house for me. My son just built this new spiffy computer.

    However my husband is suffering the effects of chemo for his stage3 pancreatic cancer and may not qualify for surgery, which could mean a death sentence. My daughter died Nov 25, 2022 from a fentanyl overdose, very heartbreaking. Her ex-boyfriend broke into my house, beat me and stole $12k worth of jewelry. It's been a rough couple years.

    I try not to dwell on the bad experiences and focus on the good. I'm happy with my flat closure surgery. I'm getting used to having no breasts, trying my best to follow the advice for the best recovery; wearing the chest compression sports bra, now that the binder is wrinkly and uncomfortable, sleeping on a wedge pillow to reduce swelling, exercising my arms and walking 2.5 miles a day. I try to eat healthy foods and drink plenty of liquids.

    I'm hoping if I'm prescribed aromatase drugs, since I was estrogen positive, they aren't too expensive or have too many side effects. I see my surgeon on the 20th and the chemo doctor on the 21st.

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,503

    @annieincognito we're really sorry to hear all you've been through, and what you're husband and you are currently going through! We're all here for you!

  • annieincognito
    annieincognito Member Posts: 4

    Thank you. I'm grateful for the speed at which I was diagnosed and how quickly I received my mastectomy surgery. My doctor was very knowledgeable and decisive, her team have been compassionate and available to answer all my questions. My friends and family threw a very delightful party for me, A Farewell to My Boobs Party with boob themed snacks and decorations. We had lots of laughs and a friend made these wonderful boob hats, one of which I wore to my surgery. I told the team they could just have the hat and we'd be done. It made the experience as fun as a double mastectomy can be.

    I'm healing well with very little pain. It's not hard unless to need to attend to my husband's treatment and his side effects from chemo. That's when I'm not as strong and resilient.

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,701

    I communicate as little as possible with my parents but thoroughly enjoy my tradition of watching Mommy Dearest on TV on mother's day, lol.

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,503
    edited May 14

    @illimae , we love your honesty and your humor!!!