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I’m losing hope….

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I just found out what I thought was stage 2/3 idc breast cancer with 1 positive node, has spread to my liver and I am now stage 4 de novo. I am only 39 years old. I have 4 young kids. There’s at least 6 spots in my liver. I haven’t even gotten a chance to start treatment and now I have no chance of fighting this???!?! Please tell me that there is hope. Anyone with multiple liver only mets? What can they do for me? How long do I have??

Comments

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 4,952
    edited May 22
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    Sorry that you got the short straw. We have a separate de novo thread which might be a good read. Let me start by saying that no one knows how long you might have, not even your mo. Unless your demise is imminent, there is no time table and no crystal balls. Historical survival stats are available but they are not predictive of how any one person will do.

    I don’t have liver mets so can’t speak to that but we do have a very active liver mets thread where you’ll find a lot of support and experience in living with this. I am not sure why you think you have no chance of fighting this. Treatments have come a long way in extending survival time and new treatments are in the pipeline. Though there is no cure , things continue to get better. Take care

    PS: Did you have a liver biopsy?

  • kaynotrealname
    kaynotrealname Member Posts: 410
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    Yes there is hope!! I am so sorry this is happening to you but breast cancer remains one of the most treatable cancers including de novo patients. There have been people including regulars on this site of who have survived a decade or more with it. I know that isn't good enough with young children but we have new treatments coming out all the time. Did you ever find out if you were HER2+ because that even has a fantastic immunotherapy.

  • seeq
    seeq Member Posts: 1,112
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    @bossmom24 - don't give up hope. I, also, was diagnosed de novo with multiple liver mets. I am a few days short of 4 years since my diagnosis. I'm still on my first line of treatment, and have had (mostly) clear scans since 7½ months. Everyone is different, and responds to treatment differently - and there are many treatment options available.

    It's such a scary time when you are first diagnosed. When you start your treatment plan, and then see the results of it working, you will start to feel better. The best thing my oncologist told me when I was first diagnosed was, "Think in terms of years, not months." My husband and I also adopted the attitude of, "I'm okay until I'm not okay," - just meaning we're continuing on with our lives, traveling when we can, and generally enjoying life.

    It will help others to respond to you, when you can share additional details about your diagnosis - when you have them (i.e. hormone and her2 status, and treatment plan)

    I also recommend the de novo and the liver mets threads, AND the Zoom call meet-ups. There's one call specifically for younger people, and a few others that are open to all; I hope you can find a time that works for you. There are a lot of caring and knowledgeable people here.

    Hang in there - it will get better.

    ----------

    Mods - can you add links for bossmom?

  • seeq
    seeq Member Posts: 1,112
    edited May 22
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    @bossmom24 - don't give up hope. I, too, was diagnosed de novo with multiple liver mets. I am now a few days short of 4 years since my diagnosis. I'm still on my first line of treatment, and have had (mostly) clear scans since 7½ months. Everyone is different, and responds to treatment differently - and there are many treatment options available.

    It's such a scary time when you are first diagnosed. When you start your treatment plan, and then see the results of it working, you will start to feel better. The best thing my oncologist told me when I was first diagnosed was, "Think in terms of years, not months." My husband and I also adopted the attitude of, "I'm okay until I'm not okay," - just meaning we're continuing on with our lives, traveling when we can, and generally enjoying life.

    It will help others to respond to you, when you can share additional details about your diagnosis - when you have them (i.e. hormone and her2 status, and treatment plan)

    I also recommend the de novo and the liver mets threads, AND the Zoom call meet-ups. There's one call specifically for younger people, and a few others that are open to all; I hope you can find a time that works for you. There are a lot of caring and knowledgeable people here.

    Hang in there - it will get better.

    ----------

    Mods - can you add links for bossmom?

  • bossmom24
    bossmom24 Member Posts: 50
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    I am her2- so I won’t qualify. I’m so depressed I can’t get out of bed or take care of my kids. I can’t believe this is happening to me

  • ars31178
    ars31178 Member Posts: 11
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    @bossmom24 I am so sorry you are going through this. I went back and read over all your post! Have you had your liver biopsy yet? I am asking because my mom had lung cancer (I know not breast cancer) but when she had her scans her liver had several lesions on it, the report made it sound like it was without a doubt a spread from the lung. Once she got her biopsy, they were actually benign. So I am saying if you haven't had the biopsy, hang in there, be prepared for the bad news but know it could be okay. If I am wrong and you have had the biopsy, please know that there are lots of women on here that have been living numerous years with liver mets. I am not Stage IV, but I am a worrier and have pretty much read everything on this board.

    Please take care and touch base with your doctor about getting some help, so that you can mentally get to a better place.

  • seeq
    seeq Member Posts: 1,112
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    @bossmom24 - HER2 is only a factor for a few drugs, that i know of (Hercepti, Perjeta, and Enhertu [for now]). I'm HER2- also. Take heart. There are options out there for you.

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,185
    edited May 22
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    @bossmom24, we're so sorry to hear what you're going through. Feeling overwhelmed and depressed is totally understandable, and we are thinking of you! Below are some of the links that @seeq mentioned.

    We hope you can find some help here! Keep us posted and stay connected to us.
    The Mods

  • kaynotrealname
    kaynotrealname Member Posts: 410
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    I'm so sorry, Bossmom. I know what that's like. When I was waiting to be diagnosed all I could do it seemed well is sleep. It was my escape and I used it. So if you have to right now, do it. Your body and brain is in shock. Sleep and rest is what it needs to collect itself.

    But this is treatable. And it might be treatable so long that a cure is found in the meantime. That's what most every stage 4 patient writes. You survive with one treatment long enough for the next treatment to make its way to you. I know you're devastated though. We all would be and are regardless of where we are when cancer is found. It's a total paradigm shift in our lives and it lasts for most of us forever. And with that comes stress, depression and anxiety. I wish I could figure out something to say to help. The links the mods posted are good though. If you get a chance just read over them. Reach out to those in your position. Scream, cry, and let it out and you'll be heard and comforted the best we can. But know you're not alone and all of us regardless of our stage get it.

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,185
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    @bossmom24 You might also want to join our bi-weekly Younger With Metastatic Breast Cancer meetup (every other Thursday at 1pm ET — the next one is Thursday 5/30). We hope you can make it!

    https://www.breastcancer.org/community/virtual-meetups#section-younger-with-metastatic-breast-cancer

    Sending gentle hugs!

    —The Mods

  • malebreastc
    malebreastc Member Posts: 93
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    @bossmom24 This is my 20th year after being diagnosed and 3rd year since MBC. The message is it’s not over until it’s over. The advances in medical care has been tremendous. So think in terms of years. I had multiple mets including liver which have resolved as of now. Just follow your MO advice..

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 4,952
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    bossmom,

    Please understand that you haven’t started treatment because your liver lesions need to be evaluated. I am unclear if you have had a liver biopsy but the results of that would confirm that your liver lesions are bc mets, and be evaluated for hormonal profiles. This will be a factor in determining tx. Take care