When positive thinking doesn't work !
I am two weeks post surgery and I know I am incredibly lucky - with cancer diagnosed very early, isolated to one breast and nothing in the lymph nodes, I am counting my blessings every day. Up to now I have managed to remain positive, positive thinking, healthy diets, entertaining an endless stream of visitors and reassuring my children (25 and 23) - why am I suddenly exhausted and overwhelmed with exhaustion - what does everyone do when the positive thing and pep talks don't seem to be working ?
Comments
-
Hi @RachND. You’ve been through something pretty big. It’s a lot physically, mentally and emotionally. We may try to minimize it, maybe to help reassure our family and friends … but it hits us at some point, or it did me anyway, that it actually was a lot. And it took a lot of energy!
After reading your words, it seems like you’ve had such a flurry of activity in this short time just after your surgery. I hope you are healing well. That’s good news your lymph nodes are clear and it’s early stage! But it’s still a lot of healing and just processing everything and you may find you need more rest than you might expect as you continue to heal.
Try to be gentle on yourself and don’t feel bad if you don’t have energy right now to entertain lots of visitors. As wonderful as the company may be, it can also be exhausting! This is one time where I would suggest being a little selfish and focusing on what you need, and not worrying too much about others.
P.S. You can probably guess my answer to your question by my name 😁
0 -
Hi @RachND , Trying to convince your family, friends and yourself that all is well and your life hasn’t changed is exhausting. While things could have been much worse and focusing on the positive has its benefits you need to allow yourself time to recover from surgery and space to grieve the loss of your pre-cancer self. It doesn’t mean that you should dwell only on the negative aspects of your situation but acknowledging them will allow you to move forward.
Surgery and the fatigue that often comes with radiation take a real toll on your body. Limiting the visitors and asking them for assistance (maybe bring a meal or run an errand for you) will help them feel useful and allow you to rest. Find time to do something you enjoy and feel up to on your own. It’s normal to be exhausted in this situation. Things should get better in time; if not you can discuss possible remedies with your doctor.
My outlook on life has always been positive but I discovered that I should take care of myself, deal with my emotions, and let other people assume their responsibility to adjust to the changed circumstances. Many of us have been where you are now. Things will never be the same but they can still be good.
1 -
Hi @Maggie & @needs.a.nap
Your responses were amazing and thank you, gosh and here was me thinking it surely just must be me. Being selfish is hard but I am finding I am getting better at it as the days pass. I am a positive thinker, well known for it but think I have reached positivity burn out 🤣 Perhaps I just need to accept that's its ok to feel low at times. Just so much to take in isn't there - someone on here posted "one day at a time" I can see now why that works.
3 -
Hi @RachND
I can definitely identify with where you are at. It's hard to remain positive all the time.
What I do… I give myself 5 minutes per day, usually in the morning shower, to just let it out. Just cry, ask why, be angary, be sad… whatever. After that, tell myself I'm doing everything I can right now and try to think about the better things and things I'm happy about. It seems to help.
Hope this helps you.
2
