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The party’s over…

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Posts: 5,659

    Thank you but I have no interest in prolonging un-ending torture . Surviving and living are two different things.

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Posts: 5,659

    Than you. I am just done. This is not living.

  • finallyoverit
    finallyoverit Posts: 138

    @exbrnxgrl I am so sorry that taxotere gave you such a strong and really scary side effect. I’ve read your messages to everyone over the years and they have always been filled with honesty and compassion. I admire that about you. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Our community (even though I haven’t been on in ages) is better for having you here. It totally sucks that we are all in this boat in the first place. I also admire your strength to make the decision when enough is enough. I hope hospice provides comfort, care and the pain relief that you so richly deserve. My thoughts and heart are with you.

  • cowgirl13
    cowgirl13 Posts: 804

    Also sending you hugs.

  • eleanora
    eleanora Posts: 371

    So sorry it has come to this so quickly for you. Have appreciated the knowledge and kindness of your posts on this forum.

    Hoping that hospice can solve the pain issue ASAP and that you have a long and peaceful run on it.

    Virtual Hugs and healing thoughts sent your way.

    Eleanora

  • hippmark
    hippmark Posts: 172

    Im struggling reading your post as you are so thoughtful and pragmatic. You indeed had a beautiful run and your support of others throughout your journey have touched many.

    Having had experience with hospice with my Dad, it was a peaceful experience. They were so wonderful. I hope you will also find a peace that passes all understanding. Not in a religious sense, but in the heart of a life well lived. May they bring you comfort and a pain free journey.

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Posts: 48,603

    Caryn, like the others, my wish is that Hospice will get you to a comfortable place so that you can have quality time with your friends and family. You have been important to so many people; me included! 💗

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Posts: 48,603

    Thinking of you, Caryn. I hope things are starting to fall in place. 💓

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Posts: 48,603

    Caryn, I think about you every day. I do so hope that the paperwork has been figured out and that you are getting the care you need.

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Posts: 5,659
    edited June 13

    Paperwork? I am confused. For some reason some members seemed to be railing against Kaiser, implying that care was being denied or withheld in some way. Nothing could be further from the truth! Their pharmacy computer systems experienced an issue. As soon as it was corrected, things were processed as usual but there was some triage involved as those in hospital or in critical conditions did have their needs met first which is totally understandable.
    Perhaps I expressed myself badly but some jumped to the conclusion that this was a denial/fault/shortcoming with Kaiser. I did not even know what the issue was initially so how some jumped to the conclusion that Kaiser was giving me a hard time is beyond me 🤷🏻‍♀️.

    Let me be clear. It was a computer issue and the delays were a matter of hours (though still unsettling). There was never a paperwork issue nor denial of anything and I understand why I might not have been their number one priority. Not sure how it morphed into anything else but they continue to be an excellent medical provider who have denied me nothing . I do resent the unnecessary demonization of an excellent organization as that is untrue . I do not want this to turn into an unfounded tale of denials or difficulties because that wasn’t what happened at all.
    PS- No paperwork at all since they are a completely self contained system that encompasses all aspects of patient medical care in a seamless fashion.

  • AJ
    AJ Posts: 329

    @exbrnxgrl that hs been my experience with Kaiser also. I love them.

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Posts: 48,603

    That is good to hear. I'm glad it was a computer issue, and it sounds like Kaiser is a great system to work with.

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Posts: 48,603

    Thinking of you, Caryn. 💓

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Posts: 5,659

    Thank you Ruth. Your kindness has meant so much to me ❤️

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Posts: 48,603

    Oh Caryn, I wish there was something I could say that would a profound, meaningful, or even helpful. Just know that I send caring thoughts your way every single day.

  • Caryn, sending cyber (((Hugs))). I too think about you every day and hope that your journey is pain-free, stress-free and filled with love.🩵

  • chisandy
    chisandy Posts: 11,519

    Been offline for awhile, Caryn: devastated to learn now what you're going through as your journey winds down. May hospice provide you with relief & comfort in the coming days. From one fellow NYC expat to another, may your transition be gentle and peaceful.

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Posts: 48,603

    Thinking of you, Caryn. 💓

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Posts: 5,659

    Thank you, Ruth and all for your warm thoughts ❤️

    Please see my update in the Hospice thread that KBL started 😊

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Posts: 48,603

    Thanks for sending me over to the other thread. So glad the pain is under better control & you can enjoy time with family and friends. How is your puppy doing with all of this? I'm afraid mine might scare the Hospice workers off!

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Posts: 48,603

    Two dolls, that is for sure! And I believe Pumpkin is actually smiling! I am so glad she has your familiar, loving family to hang out with. I think that is one of the biggest worries for pet parents. 💗

    We had a huge storm go through here two weeks ago. Here's Bruno & our little neighbor girl supervising the cleanup.

    1000055736.jpg