Just diagnosed - big drinker, hard job, feeling depressed
42 and diagnosed 11/7 via annual mammogram, right breast idc grade 2, ER+ 90% PR+ 80% HER 2 minus. Got an mri that showed some more things, MRI Biopsy on right for NME, all clear. Did left yesterday and awaiting results. But given Xmas cruise planned likely will not schedule surgery til new year (is that bad?).
I’m hoping for just a lumpectomy and radiation. I was a big drinker (probably 12-14 drinks a week) and it was honestly probably the biggest pastime for my husband and me. I work in big law and work is long and tough and stressful? It has not gotten less stressful.
This puts such a bummer on the holidays too.
I keep thinking when will this be over and then also.., what is the point of life? (Not that I want to die, but just the fear of death is getting to me sometimes).
hiding dx from parents and kids so also feel like I’m pretending all the time. Sigh.
If anyone was in similar boat - how did it all go?
Comments
-
Hi maryanne007,
This is my 3rd go around in 30 years, I haven't told many people as I don't want to worry them as I am doing fine and quite honestly don't want to be constantly talking about me and how I am feeling as it is exhausting trying to make others feel better about what I'm going through.
I still enjoy my wine and don't worry about it so much, as long as it doesn't interfere with the meds which it seems ok for the new meds I just started today.
Try to keep your life as normal as possible by doing your normal routine and enjoy some of that wine on occasion with your husband, there is no need to cause yourself more stress than you already have so relax and breathe!
It's overwhelming to get diagnosed and then have to wait for results and more test etc.etc. It's hurry up and wait mode and we all get better at it.
There are a lot of us on here that are hanging in there and been through most treatments and came out the other side doing fine.
You got this and try not to worry too much about the details as you have lot of life and good times ahead of you.
I was first diagnosed at 33 and just turned 63 and counting 😉
What I have learned over the years is that there will be people in your live that will always be there to support you and they will surprise you as to who they are and then there are those that you think should be able to handle it and just can't and it is not about you but about their own fears and mortality, go easy on yourself and plan some relaxing things just for you like a massage or spa day. You will know when it's time to tell people and don't feel guilty for keeping quiet right now as you are in "Fight Mode" and it is on your terms.
Take care!
Jill
3 -
Hi @maryanne007, I’m sorry about your diagnosis. Hopefully nothing will be found in your other breast. It is recommended to have surgery within eight weeks of diagnosis so waiting until after your cruise would fall into that time frame.
It’s probably a good idea to say nothing to your kids and parents until you have all the biopsy results, an idea of what you’ll do for treatment, and after your vacation. It does feel like pretending but you are saving them from needless worry since just the mention of cancer can cause others to assume the worst. I never told anyone at work except my department head who kept it quiet per my request. When you have a treatment plan things really do get better. It’s normal to feel a bit depressed by the situation. With your current diagnosis your prognosis is very good but it’s tough to be hit with such a stark reminder of your mortality.
While drinking doesn’t cause breast cancer it is generally a good idea to cut back some. I had to quit drinking when I was 29 after my first pregnancy since just a tiny bit of alcohol caused disabling migraines. As far as stress relief goes some sort of exercise is a good alternative and helps prevent recurrence. I walk but just about anything (dance, yoga, martial arts, something you can do with your kids) will do.
Treatment is not a walk in the park but whatever you need to do you’ll get through it, just like those long hours and late nights to meet deadlines. All the best.
2 -
Thank you, I just found these boards today (after telling ChatGPT I was having a hard day and needed a community - they suggested here!)… and I already feel a little better just saying it here. I hope this time will be easy for you!
0 -
Thank you maryanne007,
This forum has been a great source of information and educational and it's nice to chat with ladies going thru similar experiences.
You will get lots of help and understanding here 💕
0 -
Hi @maryanne007! We’re so glad you found us and that ChatGPT suggested this wonderful community. Welcome! It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed, scared, or unsure at the beginning. As you can already see, this space is full of members who understand what you’re going through and are generous in sharing their experiences and support.
We’re here for you, so let us know if we can help in any way.
The Mods
1 -
My diagnosis and work up sounds pretty similar to yours. I was diagnosed on 10/31 and just this week found out that my second round of biopsies are not malignant. I’m back to my original plan of lumpectomy and radiation. Hopefully, I’ll get a surgery date soon. This week it’s 4 months since my initial mammogram so I’m getting pretty frustrated with the waiting. I’m very relieved but just ready to move on.
2 -
yay on the clear second biopsies. I’m getting my results tomorrow and hoping for same! Just want to schedule so I can start planning again…
1
