Poll: What part of your breast cancer experience feels hardest to explain to others?
Some things take time to feel. Others take time to say.
They show up later. In a post sent at 2 a.m. In a reply that starts with, "I didn't know anyone else felt this way."
Scanxiety that sticks around even after good news. A body that feels different, whether treatment is behind you or still ongoing. Conversations with people you love that somehow feel harder than the diagnosis itself.
These parts don't always get said out loud. But they're here. Every day.
For 25 years in the discussion forums, and six more in virtual support groups, this community has been holding space for all of it. Not one neat story. Thousands of real ones. Messy, layered, some still waiting to be said.
You're amongst those who "get it". So, tell us:
What part of your breast cancer experience feels hardest to explain to others that don't "get it"?
Choose your answer in the poll, and eleborate in the thread below. And if you want to say "All of the above", select "other" and share below! Thanks for being part of this community!
Poll: What part of your breast cancer experience feels hardest to explain to others? 14 votes
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Comments
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Can we have an all of the above since I have experienced all of those?
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Ah, we should have done that, but @july31 we're glad you're saying that. Everyone, if you want to say "All of the above", select "other" and share here!
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I agree with ALL OF THE ABOVE!!
But several of these resonate a bit more strongly to me (couldn't pick just one):Loneliness, even when surrounded by support
Uncertainty of what's to come
The emotional impact, even if I don't look "sick"
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Other (explain in the thread below!)
I'm in the All Of The Above camp. I also wish there was an option for imposter syndrome as I was diagnosed at stage 0. I feel like my journey isn't as hard as others and therefore I'm not as much of a survivor or what I'm surviving is not as difficult.
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Other (explain in the thread below!)
All of the above, plus more.
Yes, I'll be on treatment for the rest of my life.
No, it isn't bone cancer, lung cancer and liver cancer, it's still breast cancer. If it didn't move outside the breast no one would die from it.
Yes, it can come back after a bilateral mastectomy, my husband couldn't understand this one.
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Yes, all the above. No sense in even trying. There is so much that you can't express it all. The response is always that they have it bad too but they haven't even heard it all yet.
The worst is "well you're gonna die from something" and no interest in hearing any of it. I try to pretend they are not just being polite by asking. Ignore it and change the subject in a hurry.
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Hi @cactuskitten48 and @krazee_kat_lady.2012! Welcome, and thank you both so much for sharing. It really helps to hear the different ways people experience this. 🤗
We’re really glad you’re both here with us.
The Mods
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Mine is the total abandonment by siblings and some who i thought were clise friends because either they cant or wont be supportive
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Hi @carolinejanechopin, welcome to the community. We’re really glad you found your way here, though we’re so sorry for the hurt and disappointment you’ve experienced from people you expected to be there for you. Thank you for opening up about it here. We hope this community can be a place where you feel heard, supported, and less alone. Sending you a big warm hug. 💝
The Mods
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All of the above as well, but mostly the damage caused by the chemicals and the constant pain which can't be seen. Even the medical community doesn't seem to get it. Also, I'd add the lasting trauma and grief of what we've been through and are afraid of going through over and again. It changes a person - I'm changed: my body is changed, my mind is changed, and my heart is changed. I don't talk to anyone about it. Even a therapist didn't get it. I pray a lot and talk through it with God.
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