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Hair Hair Hair - Another question

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  • MargieC
    MargieC Posts: 302
    edited December 2011

    I have found that sometimes people say things that get under my skin, but it not meant to be mean.  I was at a friends cookie exchange a week ago and when I walked into the kitchen she said "doesn't Margie's wig look great" there were a bunch of women there and I only knew about 1/2 of them.  This is the same friend that bugged me to see my head when I lost my hair and pushed to see my incisions after my BMX.  Oh well you can't control peoples stupid comments.

    I am 17 week post chemo and go topless most of the time now.  I have 1/2 inch of hair all over my head.  I will be wearing a wig New Year's Eve but otherwise the wigs are in the past for me.

  • LuvRVing
    LuvRVing Posts: 2,409
    edited December 2011

    I tend to assume that people always mean well by their comments (until they prove otherwise).  So a comment like "your wig looks great" or "you look really good", even when I felt like crap, I interpreted as a compliment given out of love and support.  I know sometimes people take that as a back-handed compliment, but I never think of it like that.  I think the best compliment I received was from the doctor doing a fellowship with my plastic surgeon who said that she had just finished doing a fellowship in medical oncology and she was shocked at how good I looked compared to the patients she had observed in the middle of chemo. 

  • mccrimmon324
    mccrimmon324 Posts: 794
    edited December 2011

    LuvRVing, I agree with you, I tend to think people mean well.  Even my dear old Poppop didn't mean to hurt my feelings.  He'd be devasted if he ever understood just how deeply his opinion hurt.  I guess I'm just not sure why he felt the need to express his opinion when I didn't ask for it.  I have been getting so much support and tons of compliments, so I was really taken back when he said he didn't like my hair and was glad it was from Cancer and not because I wanted it. 

    Ladies, while I'm sorry you are receiving the strange & rude comments from family members too, I feel a little better knowing I'm not alone. 

    AND I'm very proud of all of us. 

  • cdairth
    cdairth Posts: 63
    edited December 2011

    I just have to echo SpecialK. Since breast cancer, my father-in-law has said some horribly insensitive things. I took it personally but have come to realize that he puts his foot in his mouth all the time now and doesn't seem to know it or care.

  • artsee
    artsee Posts: 701
    edited December 2011

    mkw1...Nioxin has a component in it to make the blood rush to the surface of your scalp.

    If you get drops on the forehead or on your face you'll notice a red spot for a while till it fades. The blood that comes to the surface encourages the hair to grow.So you may have a couple of long hairs growing out of your cheek.......just kidding. But that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

    I think we have to get a hard core surrounding us when it comes to dumb comments. Like the answer should be "who died and made you king or queen"?

  • KSteve
    KSteve Posts: 190
    edited December 2011

    I started using the Ovation cell therapy as soon as I finished chemo.  Don't know if it helped or not, as I have nothing to compare to.  But my hair came back very thick and seems to be growing at a good pace.  And it smells good too!

    Kathy

  • mccrimmon324
    mccrimmon324 Posts: 794
    edited December 2011

    mkw1 -  I've been using Nioxon, I like it but I do notice a nice peach fuzz growing on my face.  LOL  (I know its from Chemo) 

  • lago
    lago Posts: 11,653
    edited December 2011
    I'm still peachy from chemo. Tongue out
  • mccrimmon324
    mccrimmon324 Posts: 794
    edited December 2011

    If it wasn't for this thread I probably would have freaked when I noticed it!  How long does the peach fuzz last?

  • lago
    lago Posts: 11,653
    edited December 2011
    Good question considering my last chemo was 1.19.2011! It's almost a year already!  Surprised
  • carberry
    carberry Posts: 997
    edited December 2011

    artsee    that is sooo funny....really?  My daughter bought me a bottle of the nioxin shampoo for Christmas.  I am ten months out and have a really good growth going on, almost as long as Carrols and very thick.  I was using the biotin shampoo, but now will try the nioxin.

    Hard to beleive at the end of Feb , I will be able to say "I am one year out from chemo"  seems like yesterday. 

  • missey29
    missey29 Posts: 3
    edited December 2011

    I am about 8 weeks since my last chemo. I have a halo of hair on my head. There is also a hairline that I can really see. Will post pictures beginning Jan.

    Keep posting your pictures ladies. They give us all so much to look forward too.

  • bdavis
    bdavis Posts: 3,192
    edited December 2011

    I can say that my mom was not trying to be insensitive or mean.. she really loved my wig and thinks I look great... but I think its not appropriate to say it out loud to my other family members.. It would be like saying to a group of people after someone gets a boob job, "Hey everyone, doesn't so and so's boobs look hot?" I am sure it would be meant as a compliment, but its not appropriate, and very awkward. The only other comment I got from someone that was a little off was "why would you get a mastectomy? You'll have all those scars."... hmmmm.. just stupid is all I can say. EVERYONE else has been super kind and supportive.

  • superfoob
    superfoob Posts: 121
    edited December 2011

    I agree that most dumb comments come from trying to empathize. It's how humans connect.

    But the dumb comment thread is pretty amusing.

    :-)

  • pumela115
    pumela115 Posts: 48
    edited December 2011

    it is hard to remember how long the peach fuzz lasts, my last chemo was Jan 13th. That i can remember very easy! I think maybe a month or so, and once it starts to grow it comes in really fast and it's really hard to control. Be careful what you wish for.Wink I can't beleive how fast this year went by. Last year (in treatment) took forever. Happy New Year!!!

    Pam 

  • mizmarie
    mizmarie Posts: 137
    edited December 2011

    Every time she sees me wearing my wig, my mother-in-law says something about it.  It's always something pleasant such as:  "I like your wig", "Your wig looks nice", etc.  Buuuuut, it's just one more reminder that it is not my OWN hair.  I'd just as soon she not say anything...

    On a happier note, I am starting to see some nice dark hair coming in underneath my chemo white hair.  It is not growing evenly by any means - still quite thin and barely there in the front, and being a natural redhead, I'd prefer a more auburn color, but at this point, I'm not complaining.  MY HAIR IS GROWING BACK!!!!  YIPPEEE!!!!!

  • superfoob
    superfoob Posts: 121
    edited December 2011

    MizMarie: don't despair! After the white peach fuzz, mine started growing back in the balding male style...more around the sides and back, thinner on the top. I am 13 weeks PFC and it is definitely thickening up top just in the last week or so. Hang in there.

  • bdavis
    bdavis Posts: 3,192
    edited December 2011

    MizMarie.. I agree.. I would rather they would have said nothing. They think they are being supportive, but that is not how it feels... When I had my wig, I just wanted to be normal, not reminded that I was wearing a wig...

  • shelley2011
    shelley2011 Posts: 31
    edited December 2011

    MizMarie, I am right there with you.  At first the fuzz on my head looked gray, but it now filling in slowly but surely and I am seeing some darker color. 10.5 wks pfc.

  • mccrimmon324
    mccrimmon324 Posts: 794
    edited December 2011

    Tuesday was 13 weeks PFC for me and my hair is a dull drab grey/taupe.  I really hope my natural hair color comes back. I know if I trim the white ends off it would help but I just don't have enough to spare. 

  • momine
    momine Posts: 2,845
    edited December 2011

    mkw, I have just been using the shower soap on my bald and semibald head. 

  • deniseday
    deniseday Posts: 75
    edited December 2011

    Does anyone know which of the Nioxin products is the best?  There are numbered 1,2,3, etc.  I have started with the 3, but was just curious if one was any better than the other.

    Thanks,

    Denise

  • mccrimmon324
    mccrimmon324 Posts: 794
    edited December 2011

    Denise, I think your supposed to use the one best suited for your hair type but since we don't have any hair to begin with I'm not sure, choose by the type of hair you used to have. 

    A friend of mine who bought it for me went to Sally's Beauty and asked the sales help which one to use and they have her #1, for fine hair.  I've never had fine hair but I'm still using it. 

  • deniseday
    deniseday Posts: 75
    edited December 2011

    mccrimmon324, thank you so much.  I just got confused trying to decide which to buy.

    dday

  • specialk
    specialk Posts: 9,299
    edited December 2011

    Hate to throw a damper on the Nioxin shampoo products but there are some ingredients that may not be good for BC ladies.  There are definitely parabens in it and it rates more than moderate risk on the Skin Deep site.  There are a number of BC specific sites that do not endorse its use for us.

  • dragonfly1
    dragonfly1 Posts: 516
    edited December 2011

    So, I just got a phone call from our public affairs officer for the medical center saying he needs to take my photograph for our lobby-WHAT?!? I work for a Veterans hospital and apparently some mandate came out today from on high that they must post a photograph of the designated POW coordinator (me) in the lobby so that every visiting veteran and family will know who I am. I almost had a heart attack. My hair is at a very strange, unmanageable length-I'm completely unhappy with it right now and I'm trying to just tolerate it while it grows out. And now it will be immortalized in the hospital lobby:( Oh well, I asked him to hold off for a week while I figure out what to do with myself. Guess I better make a hair appt. It's almost funny...almost....

  • specialk
    specialk Posts: 9,299
    edited December 2011

    dragonfly - I feel ya on the weird 'do.  We went for a ride in the convertible on Christmas Day, I had my hair plastered down on the sides, kind of spiky on the top.  When we arrived I looked like a chia pet.  Had to make a quick detour to the powder room to re-slick.  I would recommend a healthy dose of pomade or gel and stick the sides down big time and then run your hands around in the top to give it some volume.  That seems to be all I can do with mine at the moment.  I guess the alternative would be a hat that still shows your face?

  • racy
    racy Posts: 976
    edited December 2011

    MizMarie, I couldn't cope with those comments from your MIL. If I were in your place I would avoid her.



    Some of the comments from family and friends posted here are really upsetting. I guess people don't know what to say, feel they have to say something, and just say the wrong thing.

  • Roberta15
    Roberta15 Posts: 1
    edited December 2011

    On TC my hair started growing in (*baby hair first) 2 weeks after the last treatment...but to get real hair coating the head took 1 month longer.   Then again they lowered my chemo dose one notch because I had severe neutropenia. IT DOES GROW. It helps to eat well and destress. I read alot of Buddhist philosophy. MY hair is now about 2 inches long. Grayer but thicker. Trade off.

  • fightn4fam
    fightn4fam Posts: 2
    edited December 2011

    My hair is growing in dark and full, not patchy.  My last dose of Taxotere & Cytoxan was Sept 15th.  I think by the middle of October my hair should have started growing, but I think it started the end of October.  I have a full head of hair, but very pixie like,  I know a girl who finished Chemo after me and has more hair than me.  But at least I see it's coming in... whew, worried there for a bit.