Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Hi Jackie,

Your breakfast with your 98 year old sounds wonderful. Before bc I volunteered at an assisted living facility in the Alzheimer's unit. I hope to get back to that soon. This man and I from my church gives the residents a mini church service. We have a hymn sing along and they LOVE that. I was a band director and music is my thing so I love that part of it as well.

Have a wonderful Holiday. Isn't this cool spell heavenly!!!!!

Love

Nancy

For those finishing rads today and in the recent past:

Nancy and Ohio,

It does feel like you are nearly a moving target when you finish your rads.  For most of us......until we start the 5 yr. pill, we are then pretty much done with the really active txs.  Doing anything for our diagnosis gave us something of a feeling of safety -- we were fighting the monster.  Then all of a sudden, you walk out the door into the freedom of not having much of a plan anymore......and it does tend to make you feel just a little vulnerable again. 

It passes and you adjust, even become happy that your not doing something all the time anymore......that you can plan something that is not centered around your need to be at a chemo lounge  or a rads facility.  I had --- counting chemo and rads together....nearly 8 mos. of txs.  I felt really sort of un-protected and ill at ease part of the time.....but it passes, and bits and pieces of the life you were having before, take the place of those hours spent doing some kind of treatments or recovering from them. 

I mean hey, you'll soon be on the five yr. Al countdown.  And taking a pill every day will become common place too.......and then when you don't have to take it anymore......you'll once again feel a little un-protected but that too will pass.

I'm go glad for both of you.  Let the freedom begin.

Ohio....hope you are not TIRED too long. 

Making Grape Salad and cold Spaghetti Salad tonight and going to BIL's tomorrow after work. Only working for a  couple of hours.

Thinking of you all.

((((((((Blondie ))))))))))

Blessings

Jackie

Jackie,  

How true!!!   Thanks for the encouragement!  I'll treat this holiday as a "return to normal", or freedom from treatment! 

I taught at a psych hospital for a while and someone dumped a litter of kittens on the grounds. The teachers fed them and I managed to catch one and took him home. He hid in the garage, used the litter box and ate while I was gone. Every night I sat in a chair, did my needlepoint and talked to him. After two weeks he came out, sat on my lap and then was my sweet Scout for 14 years.

About the two weeks of guests.  These are old and dear friends, the closest things to sisters I have.  One couple week A.  A different couple for week B. so I planned the exact same menu for each week and the men each did the grilling.  I must admit one couple is easier for me because I have known both husband and wife for forty five years .  Being. At the lake house makes it easy to just sit on the porch and catch up.  I have managed to see them almost every year despite 2200 miles between us.  

I am thinking of you tonight, Blondie.  I sure hope your holiday is filled with bing cherries.  They are a favorite here in July and have lots of sweet memories attached. Perhaps you have a special memory food.  Send someone now to find it.  I think I'll go get mine tomorrow AM before the children's parade here at the lake.  

I've made about two dozen red, white, blue balloon flowers to pass out along the parade route.  Then taught my grandson to do swords for the men and boys.  My golf cart is decorated.  We are ready.  

Happy 4th to us all, especially the Illinois club here.

Thanks Jackie. I know you speak with much experience with all of this. I hope Ohio and I both can return to our lives and look at this as only a short detour in the big scheme of life. Of course at the time it feels like a huge disruption in your life and it is but as my surgeon told me the last time I saw him...........You will forget this even happened a year from now. I find that hard to believe but I think that may be more true than I believe at the moment.

Ohio, I am not looking forward to starting the AI either. Bracing myself for the SE's. Hopefully we can breeze through this next five year phase.

Happy 4th everyone!  Ohio, let's pretend that some of those fireworks are celebrating us finishing rads! YIPPPEEEEE

Love,

Nancy

Many people tend to think of giving only in terms of grand
gestures.  They miss the simple openings
of the heart that can be practiced anywhere with almost anyone.  We can say hello to someone everybody ignores.  We can offer help to a neighbor.  We can buy a bouquet of flowers and take it
to a nursing home, or spend an extra minute talking to someone who needs our
time.  We can take ten dollars out of our
pocket and give it to someone on the street. 
No praise, no hushed tones of holy generosity.  Just give, smile, and walk away.

Kent Nerburn

Bandwoman, your RO has it pretty much right.  I think in part because the inner you needs very much to move on.  We do want to recapture the innocence of the life we were all leading before "the monster" arrived.  I have never quite figured why out of all the "monsters" we get to fight in life, this one seems always the worst. 

There is heart trouble, MS, diabetes....so many other things.  Why this one evokes such heavily negative responses I'm not sure, but I do know.....out of the things I've encountered, this is the one that stole my invincibility.  Until then.....I knew the odds were that medical issues would come along at some point, but I always felt that there would be a clear path without much hesitation.  And.....I would be fine. 

This diagnosis stole my innocence.  That won't be back and I know it, but in the mean time, I am here and life stands before me and I have a second chance to do so much of it over.  To try and give back what was given to me.  We really do get so busy living that we are not always taking advantage of our aliveness...............and I can go back and enjoy cool breezes, and the smell of the earth after a good rain.  The songs of the birds.  I can really look at the sun coming through the trees with its dappled effect......and the living bark on those trees.  I can watch the squirrels playing and imagine myself almost joining in..........I can feel the rocks beneath my feet as I walk down the lane to the mailbox .  I never missed a lot of the big things, it was the thousands of these little things and it had been a long time since I even noticed.............so at some point -- even though our innocence is gone, we look for life and for the real energy it has, the simplicity and satisfaction of normality.  We give into the craving.  We put the past behind and take the gift each day brings...en-encumbered with the past, and not thinking about the next day.  Today is the very best day we will have to live. 

Blessings

Jackie

I am so impressed with the ladies on this thread who are undergoing treatment or just finishing treatment.  You have such strength of character. 

Blondie, I can't express my feelings about your health any better than Cami did:  "it sucks."  Gentle hugs to you.

Jackie, I wondered about the feral cats, too.  About whether they're having litters and increasing their numbers.  There have been a few dogs that I felt drawn to, but mostly I am not a "dog person."  I like cats.  I like their personalities and their independence.  We see some rv'ers who travel with cats but a lot of rv'ers with dogs.  I try not to react with annoyance when dogs bark at me for no reason at all other than their "dogness." 

Cami, you should definitely wear high heels, carry your cat under your arm and take Joey along when Air Force One comes to take you to Washington DC!

Mimi, I love your plan of having the same menu for your houseguests!  That is funny and smart.

Here at Pine Hollow campground in northern MN, the place is buzzing with activity.  There are some extra campers with families and I can hear the high-pitched sound of children's voices as they play outside.  We have new neighbors in the spot closest to ours and they seem like nice people.  But they're smokers.  I always hate to see retirement age people smoking because of the health threats.  And I think about all that $$ burning up!  But then dh and I have an alcoholic drink at night and some people would see that as wasted $$. 

We're taking it easy today.  Wimbledon tennis is on tv.  I walked my 3 miles for exercise and then cooked breakfast for dh and me.  We have options, depending on what we want to do.  There's a parade in Park Rapids at 5 pm.  Than fireworks at dark.  But dark up here is about 10 pm.  We went to both parade and fireworks last year and the fireworks were really great.  But we may take some neighbors up on their invitation to go out on the lake in their boat at dark and watch the fireworks on the lakeshore that individuals perform at their own expense.  These neighbors say you can see the fireworks in town at this distance, too. 

Happy 4th to everyone.

You all r so sweet, I appreciate it.. the breaking point for me was I missed evrry one of my grandson s baseball games. realizing for me that is what is important to me is qol n my qol is non existent, in bed 24/7 almost 1 day a week I would b ok...

Congrats with being done rads, means u r past that part of this journey. 

Hope u all have a wonderful 4th. 

Sandra....love your dessert analogy.  I do things in a similar order myself.

Blondie....hugs and hugs and soothing energies coming your way.  Lots of care and hopes that you do get that QOL going now your off chemo. 

A happy 4th. to you as well. 

Blessings

Jackie

Jackie, when I got that dreaded phone call on March 14 that I had IDC the doctor said some people feel like their innocence is stolen. Your very words. I remember telling this doctor that I was the last person that I figured would get cancer even though my Dad died of prostate cancer that spread to the bones. I am into exercise and have been very nutritional minded for many years. I eat lots of organic fruits and veggies and used to juice but now am really into my Nutribullet and make fruit and veggies smoothies every day. I felt like I couldn't trust my body anymore when I was in that initial shock period after that phone call. I was so obsessed with why and how did I get cancer. I soon woke up to the fact that I was traveling down a road of no return and that I needed to change the conversation to what am I going to do now. Today I am still in a sad mode even while I was sitting there tonight watching the fireworks. I hope that I can get up my fountains in my yard tomorrow which will be something I usually enjoy and would have had them up long before now. I think it is just going to take some time to filter these last four months threw my head and my heart.

Wren- Thanks for sharing your experience with Arimidex. That is certainly encouraging. Yes, that rotator cuff can certainly cause all sorts of problems for sure.

Blondie- I hope you will get some good qol time back so you can spend it with your family. I can't imagine what all you have gone through but I am glad you can share on this forum. It really is like therapy being able to share your heart with others who will understand and support you and lift you up. My prayers are with you.

Sandra- I love your dessert analogy as well. Amen to that.

Carole- Your camping sounds like so much fun. Enjoy!

Anne- Glad you had some glorious days in FL. I marvel at you going back and forth. I have had such issues with fatigue for so long I can't even imagine traveling like that. Hats off to you. And yes, one day at a time!

Mimi- Your balloon flowers for the parade sounds very patriotic. Good for you!

Teacher- Your country festivities sounded so fun and I love the horse's name!

Ohio- How are you doing post rads?

Nancy

Nancy -- you have hit the wall of the cancer dichotomy.   This disease is almost beyond equal opportunity.  It cares not if you have "always" but always looked after your health, eaten well, exercised plenty, used great moderation where wine and or birthday cakes were concerned.  Rich, poor, chubby or skinny -- well-read or illiterate.....it just simply does not matter. 

I have my own theory  ( it is not a total one ) and as someone else on the boards use to say.....a few of my brain-droppings here.  Since I believe we are very, very old souls ( hope I don't make this hard to follow ) meaning that we come into lives for various reasons......and in those lives we are going to encounter differing varieties of issues.  It is JMHO that the trials we choose help us grow into our soul in some way.   Now often, we choose to be a part of a family that has certain characteristics like perhaps a history of diabetes or weak immune systems, heart trouble or even cancer.  So, it is said that it is in our genes.....but like you found, ( there was not much at all in my family tree and no breast cancer that was known ) sometimes it just crops up.  No true rhyme or reason.....just there. 

Is it part of something we have need to grow through then.....that is what I pretty much believe.  I keep thinking -- somewhere in my eternity --  I will be watching over someone here and helping them accept their diagnosis and live through it very successfully. 

Some people might laugh and scoff and that is REALLY ok with me.  I'm open to better answers if they are there.  That said, I do know that every person that is alive has operating cells and all of those cells have the power to become damaged and mutate and turn into a tumor......I guess I really want to look beyond that to the REAL why it happens.  So, while I note the "diseases" in my family tree.....I probably don't give them the CREDIT a Dr. might.....or even other people who say something like " Oh, that runs in our family ". 

We are all such unique individuals -- here learning, growing, experiencing so much.  The river can be so wide and seem so never-ending at times, but oh the satisfaction when you can look back and see that you didn't do so bad at all.  No big requirement anyway.....just doing the best you can and at some days that may only consist in getting one foot in front of the other.  It doesn't matter how big the effort, or even an outcome that you might feel is poor......it just matters that you tried.  We generally ask and hope for more from ourselves than anyone else will.

Ok.....time to step down here as I'm veering away a bit.

Sandra....I have tried off and on to use my dh's laptop and it drives me nearly to drink.....and I don't REALLY drink.  I sip a glass now and then.  I think  with my short sort of chunky fingers....I'm just not comfortable with the laptop.  Dh has it operating with a regular wireless mouse.....and that part is easier, but the little keyboard.....and some of the placements of backspace, delete....etc.  just give me the nervous nellies.....whatever they are.........I have wireless keyboard, mouse, and ? 23 inch screen/monitor...along with a mini-tower and have so enjoyed having everything come in on a BIG screen.    There is a place in the tools section of my computer where I go in and over-ride the fonts, or colors etc. and so I can make the appearance of what I'm seeing be pretty much exactly what pleases my eye and feels good to me.  SIGH!!!!  Some times I'm a complicated being --- have to have it all to suit ME.

Wren and Nancy.....I did not have much trouble at all with my Arimidex.  For a long time I wasn't sure I was having any side effects.....but did have some  very mild joint stiffness --w/o much pain.  I did notice a good deal when the drug went generic.  The drug wasn't bothering me ,but what was being used as the carrier portion to get it into the system.  I was just about to ask the Dr. to change it.....but my system got in line and I was ok from them on in. 

Carole, something interesting about the feral cats......despite Mother Nature's calls, a feral colony will actually stop producing much for newborns if they are running out of room.  They seem to know when enough is enough and will hold back.  However; many things happen along the way.....I only see so many "new" ones and usually not for a long time.  To begin with....whatever alpha males are around, they will hunt out where the mother cat gave birth and kill all the males ( competition ) and then those that go on after time may wander --- especially the younger males...there are predators naturally and then accidents with cars and other things.  None of this is nice, but that is how it pretty much works.  At the one colony....as it is situated -- doubtful trapping could even go on but it seems that the population is staying low.  That makes me feel good. 

Will see you all later.  ((((Blondie))))))))

Blessings

Jackie

Thanks peeps,  I never either time said why me, why not it has to b somebody n there r people worse off then me, there r kids n babies that dont under stand what is going on.  After I feel better it is my goal to go into where I got chemo, sitting with  people who r alone like I was most of the time. I have to go Friday to the dr so I might start this week.  Being alone in there can seem like it last forever. 

Have a good one 

HUGS (((((()))))))))) to all of u

Sandy aka blondie

Hi Jackie,

You have good insights into this whole journey. I have learned so much about myself through all of this. I realized that I am much stronger than I ever thought I could be and at the same time much more vulnerable that I ever thought I would be. There is that dichotomy again. I have been able to have a positive influence on a rather large number of people watching me go through this journey. They have kept me strong and I have given them hope in their struggles as well. It is a give and take that makes it special. I believe we always go through things for a reason. Bad things happen to good people. It is how we react to the test that shows our true character. It has certainly been a growing experience and growth that I would have not been able to achieve any other way I think.

Thank you for your insight and your sensitivity.

Love,

Nancy