Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Hmmm, so many people ( of course I thought I was pretty much the only one ) who has a better half that "flunked" money for the most part.  There was a time when he was passable, but in these latter yrs.  I finally had to take back over bill paying.  He has never been truly good at it --- but since we moved back home 17 yrs. ago, he got especially difficult.  If we/he needed anything he would just go and get it -- period.  Not good to not consider how much to set aside for the bills that come in monthly.  Often their was not enough money left -- so next month two paymts.  were owed instead of one.  You can  only do things like this for so long --- until something hits the fan for some reason.  Maybe a bounced checked or two.  Talk about pandemonium. 

Eventually, I just took back over -- it is difficult yet, but there is always hope that one day he will find a way to get back to his passable.  Until then I stay on guard. 

I'm running quite late today.  It is all fine, but a lot took place.  Had a lost dog for awhile but managed to get him before he got hauled off to doggie jail.  Then I had to work an extra hour.  Then with all the "dog" issues I didn't get to go to my friends ( she is gone to FLA. ) cats this morning -- so two hours at her house after work to set everything to rights.  Then back home late ( Dh and fam members in the drive-way just as I pulled in as they arrived very shortly before me ).  Glad he is back --- this will help a lot with staying on track a bit better after this.  Also, knowing someone is here will help me have a little more of a relaxed morning  when I do get up. 

Anyway, just got supper done and will be relaxing/falling asleep likely in my recliner soon enough.  I'm a little bushed.

Hope you all had a really nice day.

Blessings,

Jackie

Despite the fact that we are awaiting rain ( dh ran out and is on the mower as I type ) its a pretty good day already for me.  Gym at 2 p.m.   I had to miss yesterday and sort of hated that but it all worked out in the end.  Life has a habit of going on no matter what so once you GET that good enough you can just put on your 'keeping up' clothes and try to do that.  I'm keeping up today so far.  It is also going to be cool enough to wear one of my lighter sweatshirts.  Just as I was thinking of putting them away so sure glad that I didn't already.  Almost hate that the screen is in the door --- but we really needed it.  We have the inside door closed and our I-heater cranking away to take off the chill. 

Took Dh out for his birthday dinner last night.  Corner Café -- it is a sort of down home type restaurant -- not fantastic, but they have a nice variety and it is affordable.  Dh turned 76 on May 16th.  Was in  S. Dakota then, but he had a nice party there with his adult children and grandchildren and at least one great-grand four yr. old.  So, now it is back to reality here.  I think I detect a little age on him.  He told m this morning how good it was to be home.  A lot more quiet and much more relaxed schedule -- also I know that a 14 hr. or so drive ----  even with someone else doing the driving can be wearing on much younger people.  I do love that he seems to want to get up and going much earlier than he usually does.  I'd love to see a little of that last. 

Hope you are all going to have a really good day.  I'll be checking in from time to time as I always do.  See you all then.

Blessings,

Jackie

P.S. Thinking of all who are recovering ( Carole ) from procedures and all who are having issues ( Sandra & Mike ) and all who are just having issues and maybe too busy in some other way to post. 

Mornin all

Guess I was on the opposite side of the money issue. My husband took care of all the finances, always. And saving always came before spending. Every month there was a lecture about us using too much electricity, and there were daily not-so-gentle reminders if we opened the too often or left a light or fan on. With 7 of us, those reminders were constant, then came the grandkids. He always had me believing we were one step from bankruptcy. As I got older, and smarter, I realized we were far from bankruptcy. But I also became aware that Bob's mentality (probably from his parents living thru the depression- although so did mine and they didn't think this way) was always to save, save, save. And those savings were never to be touched- they were for retirement. I came to wonder if he would ever be comfortable spending what he had saved for retirement. I was right- when he retired, he could not make himself touch the savings. Luckily, I was still working, and he got a part-time job at a cruise line. Great cruise benefits. Thank God, someone suggested he go to the VA about his diabetes, and long story short he was eventually declared 100% disabled! and between that and his SS, we lived quite nicely. I now get about 1/4 of what he got from the VA, and with my own SS get by month to month I still feel incredibly guilty when I have to take out of the retirement funds for a major purchase.

I have always been the bill payer in our house.  My husband was in grad school when we got married and traveled so much during his career as a Civil Engineer that he never had the time or, frankly, the interest in taking care of the bills.  He does take care of all of our retirement funds, investments and taxes because I don't understand any of that stuff!

We've had an interesting week since returning from vacation!  My Mike got up the next day and mentioned he had a slight pain on the front of his upper thigh and over the next few days grew steadily worse until last Friday when the pain was completely radiating down his left leg and he couldn't walk at all!!  So off to the emergency room we went.  I was afraid he had a blood clot or hernia  in his groin but it turned out to be a pinched nerve.  The dr. put him on steroids and pain pills and he's gradually improved.  We had promised 3 of our little grandchildren a sleepover on Friday night so I was on my own entertaining them and taking care of my patient.  If he doesn't feel totally healed by next week he'll need an MRI to see if this is coming from his lower back which he's had 3 surgeries on already.  I have a feeling that him acting like a 25 yr. old and body surfing every day on Maui didn't help.  

Happy to see that you, Carole, are on the mend from foot surgery, and Sandra it was good to see your post.  It must be so difficult for Mike to be living in limbo and it's a scary limbo! I can see where you may be scared and a bit frustrated too........worried and trying to be as understanding as possible through all of this but not appreciating being used as a punching bag either!  Mommarch, hopefully your chemo treatment is killing those nasty cells and you will be back in good health soon.

Our weather today is very cloudy but in the 70s and muggy.  Tomorrow I plan to get the flowers for the planters on the deck and get all of that done over the long weekend.  Thinking of all of you and hoping you're having a good week!

Noisey day around here, as they are putting a new roof on our cabin. Got away from it for a while , our senior players group put on our skits for a neighboring senior apt. complex. We have a lot of fun doing this, and don't have to memorize. Thank Heavens!

I have always paid the household and travel bills. Don't know what DH will do , if I shuffle off first.

Have a frost warning out for tonight. Been cool and breezy, in the 50s, for which the roofers are thankful.

Hope all the hubbies are feeling better, and of course all those for whom we have been praying.

You are so right, Chevy.  Life with any good quality is precious and none of us appreciates just how precious until the quality is threatened or lost.

Thank you for inquiring about my recovery.  I am walking around quite a bit and doing more of my usual household chores.  I make up our bed but don't bother with comforter and decorative pillows.  Just straighten the sheet and light blanket and plump up the pillows we use for sleeping.  Yesterday I put together a main dish for dinner and cooked it in a slow cooker.  I make myself a cup of coffee during the day and can carry it safely to my comfortable chair in the living room.

The funny thing is that prior to my surgery, I got out crochet materials and even bought a new pattern book and some yarn, thinking that would be a good recovery project.  I also got out a huge stack of cooking magazines to thumb through and cut out recipes of interest.  This was another project.  I haven't done any of the projects! 

Once I don't have to worry about keeping the foot elevated, I have other projects In mind.  One is finishing the sewing of a stack of placemats.  Another is straightening up the office by filing stacks of papers that cover the desk. 

DH was up early and went to the gym for his Thurs. morning exercise.  When he returns, we'll have breakfast.  After that, my busy day of sitting in my chair and operating the tv remote will commence! 

Wishing everyone a peaceful pain-free day.

Oh, I get to take a shower today!  My first since Tues. of last week.

Wren, that's really cool!  Or warm, as the case may be!

What's a yurt ????   We have all the time hot water here, but we have a tankless water heater.  It is attached to the wall in the little cupboard room that housed the old water heater.  It was the first thing we did when we bought this house -- go to Lowes and get the tankless variety.  We didn't pay that much for it -- or rather I guess I should say they are a lot more expensive now then when we purchased ours.    I think the convenience ( hot water when you want, for as long as you want ) is well worth it and I'd be hating if something happened to ours -- and everything kicks the bucket sooner or later.  I'm sure you all realized I was really whispering VERY quietly when I said that. 

Anyway -- another pretty long day for me.  I think those will calm down now.  I will go back to my friend's in the morning and check out everything, but I think that will be it for the day -- then back to my regular scheduled program.  Actually --- I will have a four day stint at the end of the month where I live over at Dr. B's house for four days while they are gone -- but that is a few days away yet.  Tomorrow will still end up a bit busy --- I'm working tomorrow night --- so a nice week-end so to speak to relax.  That would be Sat, Sun, and Monday --- the days where it will likely storm and rain again.  Sigh !!!!! 

I will enjoy it thought.  I didn't realize breaking in the new ( although she is actually old ) kitty-cat here in addition to stopping at my friends' daily and doing her cats, picking up the mail, cleaning the floors, and doing the outdoor cats would take up most of my day.  I have my own to do here too --- so I'm ready for a bit of a breather.

I'm with Chevy and Carole --- we really do get stuck in ruts so to speak and forget that  we don't know what is in store for us so being thankful and grateful for life, any or all of it daily is not a wasted thing, ever. There are lots of ups and downs and I tend to be grateful for all of it.  I am growing my soul through the negative and the positive so I am grateful for all of it.  Still, of course, some of it is difficult --- so I'm trying to keep myself in half way reasonable shape so that I can keep a straight back and stiff upper lip for the challenges and breathe deep sighs of relief for the positive times. 

We usually never know why WE need these soul-magnifying lessons and I quit worrying about that a long time ago.  The why doesn't matter all that much right now -- the doing does. 

I hope you all had a really pretty day.  We finally had an afternoon of sun and true to form --- it made me start to sparkle again. Still cooler than I'd like but all in good time.  Before you know it more than likely I'll be wishing this coolness had lasted a bit longer. 

See you all later.

Blessings

Jackie

Hello folks!!! I may be 59 but I refuse to be old ... lol! I just got dx'd with IDC yesterday. I am from Alberta, Canada. I saw a poster from Ontario, above. Not much to say except hello and I'm starting to learn about this ugly thing called cancer.

Not talking about the weather rules out about 30 per cent of conversation!!!  I don't like rules unless they make you healthier or happier or have some really good reason for being. 

Surprise!  It's cool enough here this morning to open the kitchen door.  See what I mean?  Weather conversation!  And this is exciting conversation for those of us who have been running the a/c constantly for some weeks now. 

DH is off to play golf today and I have a leisurely stretch of hours with some things to do in addition to sitting and propping up my feet.  No complaints.  I'm thankful not to be in pain and to be in a state of healing. 

DH went outside with my cell phone today and took some pictures of the daylilies, which have been in full bloom.  I'll post a picture with the phone.

Happy Friday to all.

Welcome NorthernCanuck. You have found a great group of supportive ladies. Visit us often!

Morning,

It has been rough since last Sat. By Monday evening I could barely walk, soles of feet were so sore, no blisters or peeling, very red and heals somewhat swollen. I called Dr. and they told me not to take my final dose for day fourteen and ordered some pain pills. I have not been on any med since Tuesday. Feet still sore but not as bad. My face, scalp and neck feels like it is sunburned and itches. Bottom lip is sore and swollen. I see my ONC next week on Thurs. I would guess he will reduce the dose or something. Very fatigued, take a nap almost every afternoon.

Thanks for letting me gripe. Have a good day

Each day we can wake up and choose to see life as a gift and to be
fully present in that day.  We cannot always control the outcome,
but we can control our reactions.  Each day we can bring all we have
to that day, choosing to live it fully, seeing it as a great gift.
 
John Izzo

Welcome Northern Canuck. We were close to that area when we drove from Texas to Anchorage, AK a million years ago. Very pleasant area. I remember a frantic search of Edmonton trying to find kitty litter on a day when almost everything was closed. We did finally find some.

Mommarch, Stating facts is not griping. But you're free to gripe if you want. All emotions ok here. I hope they are able to make you more comfortable; it doesn't sound like fun at all. Hugs.

What? Jilly! You've GOT to be kidding! You mean the weather talk is off limits? I have been off limits ever since I was a teen-ager.... Ha! We somehow talk about everything here, but that's okay... We don't just always have to talk about BC.... Although we are here for you, when something is going on.... like with Mommarch....

Okay Mommarch, what was it again you are taking? And it's that stuff making all this stuff wrong with you? You are having a really bad reaction to that, and I would REALLY ask the Doc what is going on.... Or I will! I know what it's like to be that un-comfortable with your own skin, etc.!

Maybe if one med won't work, or you are having an allergic reaction to it, they can try something else! Make sure you write down what is going on with you.... all of your symptoms..... Also.... try typing those symptoms in with the name of your med.... I do that a LOT.... and sometimes I can feel a little ahead of the game.... or know what to ask my Doctor.....

Sometimes our Doc's don't know everything like we want them to.... And we are all different.... what works with one, maybe could cause a bad reaction in someone else. I would not be happy until you find out what is wrong, and can get help for it....

I've had such bad reactions to stuff I've been given, that I've had to get shots, and take Prednisone to get over the treatment.

Also the Tamoxifen! Didn't work for me.... but fine with other women.... Just help them figure out what is going on with you.....