Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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All mistakes are lessons to be learned and challenges to overcome, and they come in the form of objects, events and people.
Riska Jane.
( little note ) the above author I ? think loves quotes too and puts them under her name. Because I believe the above quote to be correct, I wanted to use it today. I do think the "negative" often is the very thing that inspires huge growth in and for us. Maybe not the most pleasant of things, but when you think about it --- you learn most when you have to suffer a little and really work for it. You would not learn near so much if all came easy and effortless -- if there were no worry, hardship, heartbreak or big upsets. It is often hard to be grateful for the things that go wrong in life -- but they are ultimately the very things that make things so right later on.
Jackie
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Sunny and warming up today -- but next week, ugg !!!! Sounds like lots of rain in the forecast. Carole and Chevy -- opps, weather again. Well, most of the week -- from Tues. afternoon to some time Fri. or Sat. -- not sure of the exact timetable as yet --- I will be staying over at the Dr.'s house. This is good for me as it is time to do some major things here at home for my 'crew' of animals. Means major purchases for fleas and ticks etc. You might know, huh !!!! Just when I could have something to "stash" away in a sock or coffee can or whatever --- big expenses are set to need to take place. I think that is my life story ----- so I will just have to be thrilled that I GET opportunities to offset those bigger expenses and not have to take weeks and weeks to catch up and be back on track.
On a really nice note. Dr. an Jo went to the orchard before going out to dinner last night and gave me two quarts of fresh berries to bring home with me that they got while at the orchard. Wow !!!! I absolutely love the flavor of the home/orchard grown berries. Because of different climates in other states --- we can ( if we want to pay for them ) have strawberries here all yr. round. That is great and on occasion I have done it, but there is a HUGE difference in the home grown berries that don't have to be picked, stored, shipped etc. The flavor is so much richer and pervasive. Nothing truly compares to something locally grown and picked right when it should be. Yum !!!! Psst, don't tell them, but I'd almost go over and stay at their house just for that.
I'll be coming back later after I do my rounds and checking in.....see you then.
Blessings
Jackie
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Morning all,
Welcome NorthernCanuck- you have found a great group here. We will be here for you, whatever you need. We don't judge here, but we have been known to offer advice and opinions- always gently.
Carole- love the flowers- I am not into gardening at all but they sure are pretty.
Mommarch {{{gentle hugs}}} Hope Dr has a plan to reduce SE's
I have been home in Fl for a week. Nothing exciting but I have spent time with grandkids. I picked my 6yr old up from school Tues- his sister was on a field trip to a Marlins game aNd wasn't getting home till dinner time. We went to the grocery store, bought stuff for dinner, then came home and made dinner together. He had so much fun and everyone loved the casserole. Part of the prep included crushing Ritz crackers. He really enjoyed that.
My youngest son stopped by the same day and invited me to lunch on Fri. He wanted me to meet him at his place to show me how far they have gotten with decorating their new place. I texted him about 11:30 to see if he was ready. He texted back that he was out running errands and would call when he got home. I texted to ask if I had time to get my nails done. I waited about 15 min for a reply, then went to the nail place. Halfway thru the nail process, he texts that yes, I have time to domy nails, and that he is at a car place getting some work done on his fiancée' scar. I told him to call me when done. Meanwhile, since I hadn't gotten up till after 10, all I had all day was a glass of OJ. I got home from the nail place and waited....and waited...and waited. I snuck and ate a couple of cookies. Finally, when my DD. Got home from work, I gave in and ordered pizza. I texted Tim about 8:30 and told him I thought it was a little late for lunch, so I had gotten the pizza. He texted back he was so sorry - he had completely forgot and went home and took a nap! Guess I know where I fall in his list of priorities ! Seriously, he really was sorry and embarrassed.
Other than that, just enjoying being home for a while
Have a great weekend
Anne
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Anne, what a story about lunch and your son! How can a person forget inviting his mother to lunch? Or inviting any other person? Baffling. But I guess lunch or any meal, for that matter, is not something I forget!
This morning dh and I drove to my mother's house and had breakfast with her and my sister and BIL. My sister cooked a big meal with smoked sausage, Grand biscuits, grits and eggs. I love biscuits and the Grand biscuits are good. I buttered one and made myself a sausage and grape jelly sandwich. Yum. Yum.
Jackie, how do you keep yourself occupied staying for days at your elderly patient's house? Do you read? Watch tv? I'm assuming you're there mostly to make sure someone is around in case she falls or needs help. Do they have pets in the house? Glad this extra income is there to be earned just when you need it.
Dh left about an hour ago to go and play golf. So I have another stretch of peaceful hours with no responsibilities to speak of. I'm walking today with a minimum of soreness in the surgery foot. I think healing is progressing.
Hugs to all. Hope you have a good Saturday.
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Carole
There is, unfortunately, much more to the story. Tim has been out of work for almost 2months due to a back injury. When frustrated, Tim gets depressed and it sometimes results in angry outbursts. Apparently, something happened yesterday that he is really upset about. I am guessing that he was not cleared to go back to work yet. That is probably why he didn't show for lunch. His fiancée called me about 10 this morning hysterically crying that Tim had screamed at her for a while, then told her he was leaving her and moving back home with me. After making sure he did nothing but yell ( as a child he used to destroy his room during a temper fit), I tried to calm her down. Half joking, I asked if he had taken his dog or any clothes. When she said no I said that was proof he just needed some time. Less than 15 min later, he came back grabbed some clothes and said he would be back for the dog tomorrow.
I texted him asking if he wanted to do lunch today. Nissa had asked me not to tell him she had called me. His response was that he had a bunch of things to take care of today. Then I asked what "their" plans were for dinner tonite. He said Nissa was out with her sister but he would check with her and get back to me. Haven't heard from him since.
He tends to tell people what he thinks they want to hear if he thinks the truth will upset them. In other words he lies. So right now I have no idea where he is or where things stand between him and Nissa.
Never a dull moment in my life. Will keep you updated
Anne
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We had a Texas Terd Floater this afternoon in the Davis Mt.'s.
My feet are much better. My nose is still sore and my face and scalp itch. Chevy the med is Xeloda
oral chemo drug. Will see ONC on Thurs. Tomorrow DGD and I are going to drive to Fort Hancock and pick up her brother so he can stay for a couple of weeks. Will be nice to have them both here.
I had better get started on dinner. Hugs
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Things are better here. I talked to Mike about asking his oncologist for an anti-depression drug and although it made him mad, he didn't object. He's been trying to be more positive in the last two days which I appreciate. Last week I actually yelled at him after one of his negative comments and had a scratchy throat afterwards. Not proud of that. Allison is away for the weekend. I suggested dinner last night for the two of us at our neighborhood Mexican restaurant and he agreed. Conversation was nice. I asked him to come with me to do a few errands this morning and he agreed. Things went well and we had no problems although he did get tired after about an hour. We had to buy a new dishwasher and found good deals at Home Depot. After he has the bone marrow stem cell transplant, all his dishes have to be sanitized. Our old dishwasher is nearly 20 years old and barely works anymore, so we needed a new one. Then we went over to a furniture store to have him give his approval to a recliner I found for him. It's a soft leather and will be easy to keep clean. Fabric upholstery harbors too much dust, which he can't be around after he comes home from the hospital. He liked it so that was purchased. Now all I have to buy for his "clean room" is a new double bed mattress & box springs. Along with the new linens, they will stay sealed in plastic until Mike needs the clean room.
Rain, rain, rain...we've never had such a wet Spring in San Antonio. It's rained at least a little bit on 40 of the last 53 days!
I concur with everything said about enjoying life. Mike was never sick in his whole life but at 67 got a fatal diagnosis. You can never tell what will happen. Live NOW while you can. So glad we went to Alaska last year. He's not well enough now.
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Sandra, Good to hear that he's making an effort and agreed to the anti-D's. Together time will be good for both of you. The clean room has been a lot of work. Glad it's almost finished. Do take some time for you. Beauty shop, massage, flowers, whatever is a treat.
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Oh it has been such a nice day here. It is a shame rain is coming but we are still working on Spring. We just got back from Wal-Marts. I had some things ( small ) that I knew I'd like to have for when I go stay in town. I need to go out a couple more times but will stay in town here for that. Dh was with me and we have a couple of favorite stores over in Salem --- and you might know they were both closed apparently for a long week-end. Ok anyway as the Wal-Mart in Salem is a Super Wal-Mart.
I remain very ambivalent about the store. It irritates me greatly that they tend to, sometimes slowly, undercut other stores enough to run them out of business, yet there are good prices on a lot of things there --- especially the grocery store. They have already managed to rid our town of a couple of businesses, so first of next yr. when the Super Wal-Mart is built here --- I'll be ok with it. At least I won't have to make a 30 mile round trip for groceries as often. I generally am careful about purchases there since Wal-Mart has contracts with big name companies --- who often make a 'cheaper' item for Wal-Mart for sale -- with stamped in parts.
Glad to hear your feet are better Mommarch and hope the rest soon follows right along. What a bummer. Hope you'll soon know what adjustment it will take so that you won't have to go through that again.
Carole, when I go stay at my patient's house there are tons of things to see too. I can watch t.v. and I will also take care of Sasha and Sadie, the two little Yorkies that live there. I do laundry and cook, and they have a really long driveway which I walk down so that I can get the mail. I often have to go more than once if the mail-man is late. That plus ( it's a big house with 7 bdrms, 4baths and 1 half bath, a living room, 2 offices, 1 music room, dining room, eat in kitchen, screened in porch, summer kitchen, family rm. and laundry rm. ) so whenever I'm there I tend to do a whole lot of walking. I normally lose weight every time I stay there. I do take books to read though the music room has a library on one side, and puzzle books so I can do that. I do laundry while I'm there as well as clean up any messes we may make. It sounds like you would have a whole lot of time on your hands but so far I've stayed pretty well occupied. It is a very nice house and believe it or not, though it sounds large it is really homey and has a wonderful flow to it. At first I was almost intimidated -- but after a small bit of time I realized that the house is not ostentatious or overdone ( though I admit it is large ) but is just a house full of love. I feel perfectly comfortable there.
Anne, you are so right -- a thrill a minute sometimes, eh !!!! I hope things calm down for Tim and that he is able at some point to see 'reason' and move on from that vantage point and make the best of his situation. Hopefully that might mean not giving up on his girl-friend if she doesn't want to give up on him. I think he is lucky to have someone who ( at least at this point ) seems to want to support him and continue in the relationship. What would we do without the SPICE of a little stress to keep us going.
Hi to everyone else today. Sometimes I forget to say -- Blondie, Cammie, Mimi, Joan, and anyone else who for any reason doesn't get to come here on a daily basis like I do, that you are always crossing my mind and it is always with great hope that you are having a good day and a peaceful time of things. Just busy loving life.
See you all later.
Jackie
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Hello gals!
Mommarch...so sorry to hear about your side effects. I bet they can adapt the meds to work for you so you don't have all these problems. My onc told me that there is a standard dosage for everyone and that is where they usually start, but there is a leeway on both sides to up the meds if needed or to decrease them and still obtain the same results. Sending hugs your way!
Sandra, so glad to hear that Mike is being so agreeable That makes it so much better for you. Sending hugs your way also.
Anne, how hot was it in Florida when you were down there? Weather bug on my phone said that Cape Coral was 94 degrees today. That's getting pretty hot for even me and I love the heat! :-)
What a beautiful day here! (See Chevy...I just had to get in the Illinois weather report! )
We joined another couple on the golf course and I had my best game ever for me. For once everything seemed to just come together. That makes it alot more fun than usual. I started golf late in life and never learned properly so I'm usually just an average to low average golfer but I just love being out on the course!
Jackie...it sounds like you have a great job and that your employers are wonderful and thoughtful people! I'm glad they found you!!!!
Carole, I love the flowers. I am a real flower person and yours are so bright and colorful! My iris are in bloom and I have put out more pots than I intended! I have my golf bag filled with wavy petunias. At one time I could post pictures on here but it's been so long since I've attempted that I haven't clue how to do it anymore.
I'm tired from all that fresh air today and my cats are begging for attention so I think I need to get out of here and spoil them a little before I collapse in my chair with a good book.
Hugs to everyone!
Rita
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Sandra, Just red your post. So glad things are going better with MIke. You are certainly right about doing things while you can. We travel
A lot as it is something we both enjoy. MY DH has had Prostate cancer, Open heart and melanoma. Then I got breast cancer. Lost a daughter to it also. Sure puts life in perspective. While we can we are doing what we enjoy. We don't smoke, drink or gamble, We travel! At our age and with all my hubby has been thru medically, a dozen other things, we are blessed to be able to! Got to be thankful for every day we have.
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Mommarch......Is a turd-floater the same as a frog-strangler??? Hah! I'll bet they are the same!!!
We had one hedoublell of a storm yesterday afternoon!!! I mean the wind blew, it rained, then came the hail! I ran out there with a hoodie on, and got my tomatoes covered back up with plastic buckets, and saved them from the hail.... the flowers took a beating, but it could have been worse, I know....
I'ts BEEN raining off and on here for a week, but this area has been lucky, until yesterday...! Looks like the sun might be coming up this morning!
Ah Geez Anne.... sounds like something any one of "these kids" would do! He SHOULD have been embarrassed! We just count on little things like that, and when they disappoint us, it just hurts.... sorry.
But I'll bet the pizza was good, right?
Next time tell him he can come over, but I'm not sure if you'll be home... but bring your own lunch just in case... Ha!
Oh wait.... just sorry about your Mr. Tim.... sounds like our one Daughter when SHE would get mad... All hell breaks loose, and that STILL tends to happen.... And they act like they don't care! And when things blow over, they act like nothing ever happened!
That MIGHT be what our Daughter is going through now, with HER oldest Son! He is just like her, with that explosive personality... They can be the SWEETEST person, but when something goes haywire, they let loose! I hope they can straighten it out, but things don't look good right now...
Both think they are right.... all the time... Not bad when they are kids, but then they grow up, and think they have the right to lambast the people closest to them with both barrels! Glad I don't have to live around it.
I can't/won't take sides... I love them both, but it hurts when you get in the middle of it.
Sandra, glad Mike has settled down... You just HAVE to do that sometimes! I did.... TWICE! And yes, after I had my screaming, yelling fit, I sat down and sobbed! But THEN they feel sort of remorseful, and will soften up a bit!
But I never screamed or yelled in our earlier years... although I should have. My folks ALWAYS were screaming and yelling at each other, and I hated it.... so I would never say a word...
So I'm glad you did! I know that feeling when you think.... "I just can't take this anymore, and you have stomped on me until I can't take it anymore, and here GOES............" So good for you.... !
Jackie, your "job" sounds just perfect! And so does their life, having you with them.... I wish my friend Carol could have someone like you stay with her...
Heard this morning that they will keep her until Friday... they keep putting it off, thankfully!!! Her stroke has left her STILL not moving her right leg, and barely her arm, and she still doesn't have her speech..... She can say a couple words... but it's like this vibrant woman who I grew up with has lost her whole life.... Don't know if she will ever come out of it.... Her Son Mike says, "a little improvement" every day.... but she laid there for at least 5 hours before her Son was called to go check on her when she missed her fiance's dinner!
Yes.... Every day, is a gift to us.... Just Thank God we wake up to another one... even if it IS raining.... Ha!
Rita, congratulations on your golf game!
That feels sooooooo good to even HIT that ball straight... I did it once, and quit. Left it all up to my Grandsons....!
Morning bonnets.... Yes! No matter how things are, we ARE blessed!
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One of the worst features about worrying is that it destroys our ability to concentrate. When we worry, our minds jump here and there and everywhere, and we lose all power of decision. However, when we force ourselves to face the worst and accept it mentally, we then eliminate all these vague imaginings and put ourselves in a position in which we are able to concentrate on our problem. -Willis H. Carrier
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Jackie, your employers must have a housekeeper to clean a house that big. Seven bedrooms and four baths!
Sandra, great news that Mike is making an effort to be less negative. His own negativity probably makes him feel even worse about himself. You can imagine how much he hates being dependent.
Rita, congratulations on the good round of golf! It feels so good to play well. I'm not missing my golf because it has already gotten really hot and humid and I was not playing well. I don't mind taking a break. I do miss going to the gym and getting some exercise.
Hello to all those who aren't checking in. Jackie named some of you. I hope you are doing well.
Wishing everyone a good Sunday.
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Good Morning and hope you are all having it be ok. So many storms in so many places. We will have ( weather report said ) some rain today and it will continue through most of the next week. I think Chevy is getting rid of hers and sending it here. Sigh !!! Rain in ( can be ) so beneficial and later on in the yr. mid to late summer we are always wishing we could get some -- but the Springtime storms are sometimes too long to suit me. Also, it seems like there has been much more flooding ( not so much as yet here in Illinois ) in other areas. Okla, Tx, Kansas -- so am hoping that it settles soon and people can relax.
Chevy, I too wish I could help your friend. I was so fortunate during and after my stroke -- being able if you can, to stop it in it's tracks is a big key to the recovery afterward. My Dr. kept saying I would walk out of the hospital and ( they actually make you ride in a wheel-chair ) I could have done just that. Still a bit shaky and weak, but I left there with faculties that I knew would return given some practice time and therapy. It is one of the sad and scary things about strokes.......the parts you might lose of yourself have so much to do with your ability to function -- how to call for help if you can't speak. How to do argue the point if someone is cheating you in some way -- make out your bills or even be aware of when they are due. Get around in your own home etc. I'm glad they are extending her time at the hospital, but while I believe in feeling as positive as you can, from the description Chevy, I can't say I'd be holding out nearly as much hope as I normally give things. We really don't know why or who will get these life challenges and sometimes have to just accept our own helplessness ( much like the challenged must do ) and live with it.
I skipped another line to put this in as I really do want to say that I feel blessed and am so grateful for my life. Oh, I have a good share of things go wrong, general upsets, lots of work, etc. but I am extremely fortunate. The lady I worked with before I was where I am now, was fairly difficult, but I was there for two yrs. The one before that one, who I helped for I think 6 or so yrs. was well, something else. I went to her house 7 days a week. It was small but due to all the animals ( that did un-mentionable things where they shouldn't ) it had to be cleaned well at least once a day and I always hoped to get done before one of the animals re-did something somewhere. I also did some shopping, took this lady to appts. when she didn't want to drive. Cleaned her garage and car. Took her to the hospital and sat for hours if she needed admittance and went to see her often while she was there. If it was a holiday I always brought a plate of food with me and sometimes extra for her for afterwards. I did her laundry a good part of the time. For my 365 days a yr. rain or shine, someone's birthday at home, anniversary, or anything else I was given the magnificent sum of $40.00 per week. When I got irritated enough ( long story ) to raise the price to $60.00 she got mad enough to keep finding ways and things to criticize until I got smart and quit.
Just all to say that had I not dealt with some of the people I did before I came into my present position I'm not sure that I would cherish it as much as is deserved. My trials by fire beforehand, though at the time there didn't seem to be anything else for me, did prepare me to value the love and acceptance I have felt and so enjoyed, and whatever I have been given -- I try in some way to give back. Not because it is expected of me by them --- I just expect it of myself. They are very un-selfish, loving people who do what they can, when they can, for who they can. They don't LOOK ( I don't think anyway ) necessarily for things, but they don't back off when it comes to them. They participate in life with a fair amt. of energy and they too are grateful for their life and show it by loving and caring for others.
So I do give a prayer of thanks and gratefulness every day for a life not without struggles which we all have, but for those things which have mainly ceased as a struggle and are now a pleasure and reward. You can have a turn around in life -- and I am oh so grateful for mine. It is what I'd most like to see happen for everyone --- for their worst grief to someone end up their greatest blessing. I am thankful to be alive and doing what I can to bring sunshine where I go, hoping it will assist other people feel the positive aspects that life can send -- we are here for a short while. I hope it is wonderful for everyone.
Blessings
Jackie
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Oh bonnets....you are so right. We just need to do things that we enjoy! I'm so glad that you and your hubby enjoy traveling. There are so many interesting places to go ini America and such wonderful sights to see! We travel to FL for the 3 winter months and to TN to see my kids but that is about the extent of our travels anymore. I would love to see New England in the Fall when the folliage is so beautiful...maybe one of these days.
mommarch...hope you are having a good day today and that the side effects as disappearing! Thinking of you, as always and sending loving and healing vibes your way!
Chevy, I understand how upsetting it can be to see a friend slide downhill. We have a dear friend who is in the mid stages of dementia. Some days he seems just fine but yesterday we golfed with he and his wife and he was a mess. We had to tell him which golf ball was his and when to hit. He tried to tee off from the wrong tees and was really disoriented. I had a good cry when we got home. This man was such a dynamic person...a first-rate realtor who never missed a beat. The bouts of confusion are becoming more and more frequent even though he is taking meds for the problem. It just breaks your heart to see him like this. It's even worse to know that there is nothing you can do to make it better except to be there as a friend for him and the family.
So how many books have you read now Carol? You should have just written a new one while you've been recovering! I would have bought it!!!!
Wishing everyone a good holiday weekend. It looks like it is about ready to storm here and our forecast for tomorrow isn't too good either. I imagine a few plans might be changed from outside events to inside events! We don't have anything special planned for tomorrow so it's just going to be a day for rest and relaxation around here.
Hugs to all of you!
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Carole, there is a housekeeper at the big house. An every Fri. thing. The lady of the house is very neat and any messes that may happen ate not there long. As it is a rather large place ( hallways are all white tile that are very wide and open without anything in them ) it is easy to reach down and pick up a blade of grass the dogs accidentally brought in or a small chunk of dirt that dislodged from your shoe. Dishes go into the dishwasher promptly after use and though there are plenty -- art resting on shelves is somewhat sparse so you don't feel overwhelmed by "things" all the time. It is pleasing to the eye.
The house was designed by Dr. B's daughter who is an architect and it just all flows easily together with more storage than you can imagine. All of the furnishings for it were picked out according to what best fit the space at the time and they seem to be a perfect blend. The one whole side of the house has huge almost floor to ceiling windows and doors -- the doors being all window as well. It looks out into a park like area ( no one there really has fences ) of huge yard. The house was completed in 2000.
Couple times a yr. a small crew comes for spring cleaning type work and the windows. Ah -- I think, what would it be like if I could look forward to a house-keeper or someone to spring clean early in the yr. and once again a bit before Thanksgiving. !!!!!! Nirvana -- but I'm ok doing it for myself in my little 1500 sq. footer. Our major thing here is the two acre yard and all the nut trees in among the 70 or 75 trees or more that surround our house.
See you all later --- I'm off to give my dog a bath in the bathroom tub.
Jackie
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I know you guys understand.... It's just hard for me to see her like that, and try and be happy around her, and make her laugh! The first time we went I left and cried all the way home... I don't now..... but it even gets to my Husband.... We just don't know what to say....to each other.... I have no answers, and he can't help either....
Jackie, I remember those years you worked for "Her".... She was a selfless old woman, and did not appreciate you at all... You tried so hard to clean up all her messes for her and she didn't even thank you.... I'm SO thankful you have a caring family to work for...
All those times you ran for coffee for her! ..
Ah geez, we are under more tornado warnings again.... Rain, a little hail, but nothing as bad as yesterday....
THIS is Memorial Day..... !
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Oh Chevy, what a graphic reminder of what Memorial Day really means! So touching yet so true!
We have tornado warnings here tonight for a few hours. One minute the sun is shining and the next minute the wind is blowing and the clouds are rolling. I hope they just continue to roll on by!
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I haven't mentioned my niece and her three children lately. During the past year, her problems with alcohol and drugs and the accompanying mental issues got so bad that the two older children went to MS to live with their dad. My sister took in the youngest child (different father who is presently in jail) for several months. I won't go into the whole story, but about two months ago, Rebecca and her male friend moved four hours away to a town in TX where the guy's father lives. She took the youngest child with her.
This weekend she was back here for a couple of days. The older children's father brought them from MS so that they can go back to TX with their mother and spend some summer vacation time with her and their half sister. I went to my mother's house today to see my niece and the children. Everyone looked great. My niece has been off the alcohol and her male friend has a job in TX. I don't think he has ever been employed before. She seems happy with her life there. I gave her $300 to buy the children some summer clothes. I know that isn't a lot of money but she was very grateful to get it and she will enjoy shopping for them.
The three children together are a handful. I hope Rebecca can cope. She wants so much for them to enjoy their time with her that it's difficult for her to discipline them. For all her flaws, she's a good person. I know she wishes she were capable of rearing the children but it's more than she can handle. The father is no prize but he does love his kids.
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Chevyboy, I would like to tell you about our day yesterday when we visited our daughter. One of the other residents there is a young woman who, during the birth of her second child, suffered some kind of massive stroke which left her totally incapacitated - unable to even speak. The baby boy she had then is now 7 but my memory fails me about whether she was 35 at the time or she is 35 now. We have met her loving children, husband and mother who came home from the US to take care of her grands. She spends her days in her bed in front of the T.V. almost curled into a fetal position with her hands stuck in a claw-like way and making sounds at full voice which scared the hell out of me the first time I heard her. She seems to change the tone depending on whether she is pleased or not. I have never been sure if she can understand what is being said to her but I try to talk to her about whatever is going on at the moment, the TV show she is watching, and always with a 'hello' and 'goodbye' at the end of each visit.
Anyway, when we got there yesterday the power was out, so the staff couldn't do their usual chores like washing and cooking etc., so they were playing 'I spy' with Holly and our Kellie. We took lunch to Kellie there because it was too cold and windy to go to the beach which we usually do. Afterwards, I intended to try to teach Kellie about her iPad but, with out power, we couldn't connect to the 'net. We sat there talking while I fiddled with the ipad and my new Android tablet, when some photo's of our Manx cat came up on the iPad. So the conversation turned to our (staff and the two residents) fur babies past and present. Most of the tales were funny, sad or curious as is the way with animals. I was amazed when, after a particularly funny story, I heard Holly laughing along with us with utter glee even though she was in her bed and had her back to us on the other side of the room. The senior staff member on duty, Vicky, realised that Holly was enjoying our favourite pet stories so she went over and wheeled her into our circle so that she could feel included even though she couldn't tell any tales of her own . To hear her chortle at our stories brought joy to my heart because, while she was laughing with us, she wasn't making the terrible noise which makes me think that she is in awful pain and also made me certain that she understood all that went on around her. A couple of the staff can manage her into stopping the sounds for a while but others don't seem to be able to 'jolly' her out of them and sometimes put her in her room when it goes on for too long.
I have been wondering since if anyone has ever tried the one blink for 'yes,' or two for 'no' method of communicating with her. Not being any sort of expert in these matters myself, I think there must be some sort of system whereby she could make her self understood to enable the staff to fix whatever it is that sets off the screeching sessions.
The power hadn't come on by the time we left but we all agreed that it was the best day we had had when we all talked to each other without the TV distracting every ones attention from chatting to each other....and Holly got to enjoy a laugh fest. I think it might happen a little more often from now on....at least I hope so. I am going there armed with some good belly laughing jokes just for Holly every week from now on and also want to show Kellie how to access some funny 'youtube' animal videos so that she can show them to Holly and maybe develop a friendship of sorts with Holly as she will be a member of her new 'family' when Ron and I have passed our 'use by' dates. When your friend Carol has had time to accept her new 'normal' she will find ways to get more enjoyment out of her life with all of its limitations with the support of her son and fiancee...we can only hope at this stage can't we?
I hope this gives you some comfort in some small way Chevy until they find some way to restore our loved ones to their original lives.
Sheila.
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Thank you sweet Aussie.... I got tears in my eyes, reading your story.... Your Daughter Kellie is there with Holly.... ? I'm so sorry for the tragic things that happened with Holly.... But it sounds like she has something going on in her mind, and you guys, by talking just normally have enabled her to "see" by hearing things that make her happy... That little bit of realization by her, could open up new windows... for her to connect to!
I'm kind of accepting the idea that Carol might not get much better than she is right now.... BUT she doesn't seem to have ANY problem understanding what we are talking about to her... She gets happy, and smiles and laughs when we tell her something funny.... She can say Yes, and No, and maybe a couple other words... in sequence... She tries SO hard to finish a sentence.... but can't yet... In other words, she understands, and can respond, with a few words.
Mike has seen her looking at a newspaper, but she won't read books.... She watches TV... I'm just happy to make her laugh... I take her some of my "trail-mix" and she munches on that... Her Son says they are working on getting her to use a walker... and not just the wheel chair.
Last time we were there, she was just in the chair... scooting around with her left foot...
They are keeping her there, until this Friday... at least that's the latest.... We'll go see her again today or tomorrow... GOD I hope she is a little better! You know, her Son and her fiance' always say she is improving...... with their un-dying love for her... maybe that will help more than anything... maybe just TIME will help....
I remember visiting my Mom, after she had a stroke, after her quad-ruple by-pass... She was making those sounds... I thought it was pain also...! I ran down the hall in the hospital, and begged those nurses to HELP her, to give her more Morphine! They finally increased her drip, and she settled down... but she didn't know anything....
Except when we all started singing to her, and talking about her in our memories, she kind of laughed, like she KNEW we were there, and we sang "You are my Sunshine".... and it was just a hard night.... She passed away right after we left.... but it was okay.... It was the easiest way for her to find peace.....
Thank you Aussie..... your post touched my heart.... xoxo
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Thanks for sharing the heart-warming story, AussieSheila. That sounds like a good nursing home with caring staff.
Chevy, I have hopes that Carol will regain more of her lost abilities. The brain can gradually heal. I wonder if there has been talk of therapy for her.
Ok. Time for weather talk! LOL. We had some thunder and rain last night. This morning it's not full sunshine. As long as the weather isn't violent and destructive, it doesn't affect my day, which will be indoors. I plan to test out my foot with a little more use of it today. I'll do some laundry. Get out the wash tub, etc! What would REALLY affect me would be the a/c not working.
Hope everyone has a good Memorial Day holiday.
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Yes Carole, she has been in a rehab center for about a month now.... Mike just emailed that she is trying to use the walker, but tires easily, and can't turn around yet... but THAT is an improvement...
He found her laying in the bushes in her front yard, and when he found her, there was "no recognition" on her face.... but compared to THAT, she is really doing well now! It's been almost 2 months that this happened... so a little improvement is great! I think her brain IS healing.... I mean compared to when he found her!
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Each day is a lifetime in miniature. To awaken each morning is to be born again,
to fall asleep at night is to die to the day. In between waking and sleeping are
the golden hours of the day. What we cannot do for a lifetime
we can do for a daytime.
"Anyone," wrote Robert Louis Stevenson, "can live sweetly, patiently,
lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down." Anyone can hold their temper
for a day and guard the words they speak. Anyone can carry
their burden heroically for one day. Anyone can strive
to be happy for a day and to spread happiness around.
Anyone can radiate love for a day. Anyone can rise
above fear for a day and meet each new situation with courage.
Anyone can be kind and thoughtful and considerate for a day.
Anyone can endeavor to learn something new each day
and mark some growth. . . .
The supreme art of living is to strive to live each day well. . . .
Live a day at a time and remember that tomorrow is another today.Wilferd A. Peterson
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Carole, glad to hear your foot is healing and you are getting around a little more
Mommarch, hope you are doing better and your drs. find away to make this less painful for you. Thoughts and prayers are with you Enjoy the time with your grandchildren.
Sandra, glad to hear Mike is more agreeable. Please take care of yourself also.Thoughts and prayers for you and Mike,
Welcome to the newcomers, This is a great group of ladies.
Ritajean, How are you? My first project was to crochet a skinny scarf.. Not really wide and very long. Now I am woriking on a beanie cap. I use to crochet a long time ago but taught myself the stitches I needed. Now I want to learn some of the more difficult stitches especially the round ring. Never could figure that one by myself.
Puffin, Hope your son is doing okay and you get to go to lunch with him
Hi to all the ladies and hope everyone had a great 3 day weekend.
Weather here.....it will be sunny for a while then pouring down rain, then sunshine and then rain again. What a crazy day.
Emmy
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BAD COMBINATIONS
Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 60, WAY over 60, or hovering near 60)are quite confused about how we should present ourselves.
We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting
and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions.
Despite what you may have seen on the streets,
the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walkerAnd last, but not least . . my personal favorite:
13. Thongs and Depends.Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop.
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Chevy - good laugh for the holiday. Thanks for posting.
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