Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Hi all,

Sandra, I am so sorry for all you are going thru. Although I am many miles from it, my family, as I have mentioned, is going thru the same type of thing with my brother, and I think they are on the same page as your Dr. They have already reached the point of stopping all treatment, but I am not sure what my brother actually knows. He is a smart guy, and he is in Hospice, so he must know things are not looking good. But, he was admitted to hospice because his wife was admitted to the regular hospital with a low blood count. So I am not sure if Bill thinks he is there only temporarily, until his wife gets her strength back, or if he realizes he is not going home again. His son, who lives in Germany came over last Sat, at his sister's plea for help, and was only supposed to stay till yesterday, but he has extended his stay thru the weekend. His wife and daughter got the news from he Dr that there was nothing else that could be done, but I don't know how much they have shared with him. When I was getting an update from my sister last night, she said he has visitors all day long and he is exhausted. I don't see that as a problem. Many people are not comfortable visiting a friend in Hospice- don't know what to say, etc. My brother is so blessed to have so many friends that are willing to overcome the "Hospice" issue and come to visit on a regular basis. As my DD said- "what's the alternative- he lies there day after day just thinking about his situation, and worrying about his family spending all their time sitting there?" I guess it all depends on how you look at things.

I can also empathaize with you from a wife's prospective. My life, for two and a half years was devoted to getting my husband to dialysis 3x a week (he would get very angry if I sent one of the kids to pick him up) and to all kinds of Dr appts and tests. Unfortunately, they gave him the news that there was nothing else to be done at the hospital, over the phone! He just listened for a long time, mumbling ok, yes, very quietly, then asked the Dr if she would repeat it all to me. I can't say we were totally shocked at that point, it was obvious he was failing pretty quickly, but we were still not ready to here it put so bluntly. My heart goes out to both of you. Prayers and hugs.

I am heading to Ga Mon for a few weeks, then will be back for Victoria's birthday, Aug 13, then I will be finalizing plans to go visit with my brother.

Anne

Love the Rose in your avatar Chevy. Good to see you here. We all miss you...............

Jackie

Hello Gradengumby

Sorry, but I just now saw this post. I have recurrent anemia and have received multiple iron infusions. Can you relate your history of same with any of the medicines you are on? I am on letrozole, and although the information never mentions anemia as a side effect, I am finding lots of "lay" posts, i.e., nonscientific reports discussing this as a possible side effect. How often have you had iron infusions? I have had six in five years.

Wishing you well.

Welcome Lovemyfamily-

Please don't worry yourself about barging in- we all love to meet new people, just sorry we are meeting for such an awful reason. Age doesn't matter much to us, but I do thing our stage in life does. Most of us have finished raising our kids (even though whoever said that when you have a child, your life changes for the next 18 years was crazy- I had my first child almost 45 years ago, my life is still changed and is changing because of her and her siblings) We all still have family issues that sometimes cause us stress, even when we are not directly involved. Some of us are retired, some still work, but we have come to that part of life where we have a different prospective on our lives, our families and our world. I am not sure, with me at least, if it s age that gave me a new prospective, or if it was doing thru cancer. That was a totally unexpected curve ball. I was diagnosed 13 months after the death of my husband of 43 years. I was just coming out of that fog, at least to the point that I realized I was way behind on taking care of myself and made a bunch of Dr appts just to get back on track, I thought.

If you are comfortable with us and our posts, we will happily add you to our family. If not, find a thread you do feel comfortable with. The support available is incredible. This is a safe place to vent, rant, and just converse with a group of people who, not only will not get upset, we totally understand the need to let steam off without upsetting our families. There are things that only another person who has experienced the same issues can understand. And, when it comes to questions, there is usually at least one person on here that has already gotten thru what ever it is you are questioning. And we offer to share our experience and let you know what has worked for us, but we also have learned that what has worked for one does not always work for another. Very often,in that situation, the post will end with.... But you may want to speak to your Dr's.

Hope to see you here again

Anne

Mausie, we see Gardengumby here from time to time. I'm sure she will see your post next time she comes to "visit."

There are several people here who have had issues with anemia. I got iron infusions every three months for several years but haven't needed one for a year.

If you continue with unresolved anemia, ask your doctor about Myelodysplastic Syndrome. It can be serious and is often mistaken for anemia.

Sandra, was your anemia the result of not enough red blood cells? My DH has been dx but it's because his red cells are too small. Wondered if treatment is the same?

"Sometimes life will test you but remember this: when you walk up a mountain, your legs get stronger."

-- Author Unknown

Never make your home in a place.
Make a home for yourself inside your own head.
You'll find what you need to furnish it -
memory, friends you can trust, love of learning,
and other such things.
That way it will go with you wherever you journey.
- Tad Williams

Morning all,

Here I am, back in Ga for a few weeks. And I have my own personal chauffeur whenever I want. My oldest DGS has had his permit for almost two years now, but had very limited interest in learning how to drive a car. He is going into his senior year at HS and now he is interested. But he is still limited as to where he can go (no major or high traffic volume roads). But he drove me to the grocery store yesterday, and will be driving half-way to Walmart today. He's doing very well, but he has been doing most of his driving in their Suburrban, which is huge and old and needs a lot of gas to start moving. My relatively new small SUV doesn't take a heavy foot to move, so we've had a couple of quick starts, especially pulling out of places, turning on to a road. He also wants me to teach him to cook while I am here. My goal is to teach him some fresh but easy recipes that he will make often. It is so sad to me that my daughter doesn't cook dinner on week nights. There are two growing teens here that need more than a frozen pizza every night. I went grocery shopping yesterday and spent over $300 on lunches and dinners. Very few snacks- in fact, Michael asked if he could get a box of pizza bites and a individual fruit container. I made dinner last night- chicken Caesar wraps, but didn't make enough, so they both ate 2 of those, and a tray of pizza bites each. Michael also ate the fruit, and two granola bars.

Another nice part of being here is that my DD is always so graTeful for anything I do. Just my making dinner laSt night and emptying the dishwasher yesterday makes her so appreciative. And that's something I don't get a lot of in Fl.

I've also talked her into going to visit her nieces in So Carolina this weekend. She has not met the baby yet. And when Anna mentioned our coming over, and I said I was not sure about Nancy, Anna said, " she flew down to meet Alexandria within a week of her birth, but she won't drive three hours to meet Juliette? And she's right. Anna is definitely a sand paper person, no doubt, but I told Nancy that is not a good enough reason to not have a relationship with her nieces. I said Rob has the same fight about coming to Nancy's. Anna doesn't want to come. She stresses the whole time that Lu is going to get attacked by one of Nancy's dogs - neither are anything but gentle. But Rob only gives her two choices- she can come, or she can stay home, but Lucia and pretty soon, Julianna will be going with him. And he is very clear that the reason he comes has nothing to do with the adults. He comes because of his nephews (who adore him- even at 17 and 14). So Nancy agreed to go for one night. AT least thAts a start.

My brother seems to be adapting pretty well to hospice. He likes certain staff more than others, and doesn't like everything theyserve at mealtime, but is adjusting pretty well. My sister visited him Sun afternoon, and said he was really good- even yelled a little at his wife. He refused lunch that day, until his wife asked if he would like an egg salad sandwich. He asked how thaT was posSible and was thrilled when she told him she had brought every thing she needed from home. He ate the whole thing.

That's about all from my neck f the woods.

Prayers for you and Mike, Sandra! And for anyone else having problems and their families.

Anne

Joan, it looks like you're celebrating your 5 yr anniversary from dx! Congrats! Hi everyone else. Hope today is a good one.

Thanks Sandra, for the post. I myself asked him about myelodysplastic syndrome in the beginning, and he said I don't have that. However, later on he said there might be two or as many as three different kinds of anemia at play here, so I don't know what's going on, and they don't either. I have had every test possible I think, except a bone marrow biopsy, and they said they didn't want to do that because they know my bone marrow is messed up from the chemo 10 years ago, and why put me through the pain.

Anyway, thanks for the suggestion. Any little help I can get I appreciate.

Wishing you well

Joan, so good to hear it hasn't changed much over the last 5 years. I keep saying, cancer is what I have, not who I am. I'm determined to be just the person I want and do all the things I love to do.

Mausie, having prior chemo is one of the big red flags for developing MDS. There is no way your doctor can just say you don't have it without a bone marrow biopsy. (We learned this the hard way after Mike was misdiagnosed as having especially stubborn anemia for 8 months!) They don't have to be painful. Many places pre-medicate. My husband has only one or two moments that are uncomfortable, but otherwise doesn't mind them. His primary care doc looked for all sorts of reasons why his hemoglobin was falling and nothing was found so Mike kept getting more and more iron suppliments. He fell, unconcious, a mere 3 weeks after his doctor had just done a physical and bloodwork! His hemoglobin was at 6.

Dara, I also have small, weirdly shaped red blood cells. It's a form of Thallesemia but I don't have the disease. I'm a carrier. There are several kinds of Thallesemia and you have to have specific tests to find out which kind. Since I'm only a carrier, there was no point finding out more. It's common in certain ethnic groups- none of which I'm a member of. Sickle Cell Anemia is one of the kinds.

You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime. -Dale Carnegie

Saying good morning to all my fantastic friends. I am so hoping you have a wonderful Sunday. Hoping the same for myself. I am looking at our driveway and seeing some of the things that I had hoped would come later. Lots of little twigs, some dried up leaves, and lots of nuts that have fallen from the trees. Some is likely from the storm, but still it is a preview of when late summer appears. I've only ( or so it seems ) just gotten to where I can enjoy the summer season. Cooler a bit yesterday and today. Have to keep thinking of how nice the later summer's end months can be. I am blessed to have this time and to reflect on the goodness of life.

Just have to keep thinking how the curves we sometimes are thrown give us the best reason to enjoy the straightaway when it comes.

Jackie