Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

We finally had the last Christmas visit on Saturday meeting two DDs and grandkids in Connecticut.  We were getting the storm and I just wanted to go back to bed...but I got in the car and drove on terrible roads to the ferry.  I packed to stay over, as the forecast changed from 6" to 12" overnight. 

I had a good visit with the kids and grandkids.  There are a lot of changes going on and some stressful moments among the daughters in dealing with the kids.  I have learned to be neutral.
The tree is down and now the boxes must be re-packed and sealed for next year. 
My favorite Christmas gifts are a robot vacuum that goes by itself all around the house, and a very warm faux fur blanket throw which I use while sitting on the lower level. So warm!

Home Sunday and we got 8" with 12" drifts.  DH is sick with the long lasting virus; and I got the job of shoveling out the mailbox and a path to the door. 

Last night was 3 degrees F in my town but today it rose into the 30s.  Melting has begun. 
I am back to work. 

Speaking of computers, I am so hard on everything I own.  I have had 5 laptops since 2004.  My favorite was the featherweight Sony Vaio (13" wide) but the motherboard burned out.
By the way, Ann, they can recover your hard drive files and Best Buy used to do it for $99. 
I had a hard drive failure two years ago, and I paid a small fortune to have only my photos recovered.  They found over 70,000 files with p hotos (some repeats).  I shudder to think of the cost but am happy to have these memories back.

I just bought a new desktop PC with regular keyboard.  I like this so much better than the laptop which I use all week at work.  I also have an I MAC all in one that is beautiful.  The memory is limited though, and since today's files are so large, it is slow and freezes.  I use it for looking at photos or watching a movie.

I was on the verge of standing up to my dental fears and getting a renovation.  January is the only time besides summer where I can have time off to do this.  But since I was sick across 2 weeks, I am not getting it done.  Now I have to start dealing with the anxiety all over again!  This is my year to do it.

Positive, I cannot comment on chemo because I did not take it.  You are young and I hope you find your "attitude" because it really helps to put BC in perspective in your life.  Best wishes with your treatment planning.

The boards have been really quiet. I am beginning to think I'm the only one who didn't resolve to spend less time here in the new year.

First, welcome Positive, our experiences with BC have been as varied as our lives are, but we do love to chat about those lives..

As you can see below, I was diagnosed with Her2 positive in 2013. I had lost my husband of 42 years in Aug of 2012, and was just coming out of that fog when I was diagnosed. My response to chemo was feeling like I had the flu. I ached all over, and couldn't eat much. I survived on soft boiled eggs and protein shakes. I have heard that that reaction I had might have been to the Newlasta shot I got 24 hrs after chemo- anything is possible. The reaction got worse and lasted longer with each new treatment. I had 4 full chemo's then had to stay on the herception for a year.

I was fortunate that I was not working - I had "retired" a few years before because of my husband' health issues, so I was able to just feel the way I did, without worrying that I needed to do more. I stayed with my oldest daughter near Atlanta and was treated at Emory University. I believe one of the major reasons I did as well as I did was because my team of Dr's decided to do chemo before surgery. I had a double mastectomy with no reconstruction, three years ago this month, and am still good with those decisions.

At my very first meeting with my surgeon, as he came in, he put his hand on my knee and said "you are going to have a rough year or two, but you will be okay" I think I fell in love with him that day, and I look forward to my once a year check-ups. I believed what he said, and never entertained the idea of not beating it. I was also very pleased with my ONC, who has since left Emory. I now travel more than an hour to see her, also once a year

As Jackie has said, I have learned to appreciate the little things. My life is a crazy one, if you stay on this thread, you will soon understand what I mean, but as crazy as it is, I am so thankful I am here to participate in it all. I have gained 3 grandchildren, and a new daughter-in-law, since my DX, and adore each of them, including the DIL. I travel around like a maniac because I have grandchildren in Atlanta, Charlotte, NC, here at my home base in Ft Lauderdale, and by the end of the month, three of them will be two hours away, which is absolutely killing me.

Looking forward to getting to know you, and you couldn't find a better group of ladies to walk you through this journey. We have a really special bond and as I said at the beginning, we enjoy sharing our day to day lives, good and bad.

Anne

When I saw the ENT for my plugged ears he said there was fluid behind my ear drum, half way up the ear drum. He's been treating with Z-pack and medrol pack, if not better by Jan 19th he'll put tubes in at the office. My hearing is a little better but still not normal.

Positive, I'm glad ( though there are truly informative sections here at BC.Org ) you are sticking with us. Most of us in one way or the other all started out the same way. Not totally in a state of denial about our diagnosis, but perplexed and overwhelmed. It is a high magnitude sort of disease. Others may have had a different experience, but when I got my dx --- I actually didn't know more than one or two people ( and no family members ) with breast cancer and so it was maybe even harder to accept. I did find that once I ( I think I was still a little sneaky about it ) I REALLY accepted that I had no way out of this dx. but to find out what path I needed to be on and then get started, it became easier. I say sneaky because I stopped worrying and questioning a lot of it and just let a 'flow' sort of take over. I had decisions and choices to make, but I made them and then moved on.

Maybe for you "starting" will be the catalyst. It is true that if you don't do all you can ( for me that was take the prescribed tx. recommendations ) or go all the way --- and something were to happen, you would question that you had something to do with a negative outcome. That doesn't mean not to question until someone can give you substantial reasons for what they feel is necessary in your case. It is in the end your choice. I decided to think of it as I wanted to save my life and they wanted to save my life so while I had questions one of the biggest was --- what is the 'normal' accepted treatment and am I a candidate for it.

I hope once you begin ( and I'm mainly talking about the txs. only ) it will be easier to get into the accomplishment and goal of saving your life and your health. We don't know how it will turn out -- no one truly does, but we have to be active and move toward being heavy duty assistants for the professionals that are on our case.

Rain later and some of our warmth will dissipate, and who knows --- maybe a little sleet or ice tomorrow though I'm banking on that missing us. We will see how it goes. So, I washed my hair today and won't bother to set is. Works for me --- and saves a lot of trouble too.

Hope you all have a fantastic day and in case you need any I'm sending good healing and hearty positive vibes.

Someone would have to back me up on this, but way back when and I'm not sure I totally recall ( but I bet it can be found somewhere ) a lot of the girls who had Neulasta ( which was the newest med at the time ) would take Claritin I believe it was for a day prior to the shot, the day of, and the day after, but you would have to check it out because my memory is not good on that.

I had Neupogin -- an older medication which did the same thing, and I brought the shots home and gave them to myself for the 7 days after chemo that I needed to be on them. I had to take a fast acting Tylenol about 20 mins. before I gave myself the shot to avoid having a headache afterwards. Always something as they say, eh !!!

Marion,

Thanks,

If you teach people to keep their eyes upon what others think of them, unthinkingly to lead the lives and hold the principles of the majority of their contemporaries, you must discredit in their own eyes the authoritative voices of their own souls. They may be docile citizens; they will never be men and women. It is ours, on the other hand, to disregard this babble and chattering of other people better and worse than we are, and to walk straight before us by what light we have. They may be right; but so, before heaven, are we. They may know; but we know also, and by that knowledge we must stand or fall. There is such a thing as loyalty to one's own better self; and from those who have not that, God help me, how am I to look for loyalty to others?

Robert Louis Stevenson

To the mind that is still,
the whole universe surrenders.
- Lao Tzu

Watch out, Jackie—Bob’s pneumonia started out in the chest, not from postnasal drip which is the usual precursor of a chest cold. Me, I have PND big-time, dripping down my throat and I’m sure some of it getting into my lungs. Don’t have other cold symptoms, so not sure it’s my respiratory system trying to filter out the dust. Might ask Bob to write me a ‘scrip for one of those Acappella devices so I can get it out of my lungs faster than it goes in.

Oh Ducky - I had forgotten all about your pilot friend. Glad he's still willing to chauffeur you. And glad to see you posting. What are you up to? Fiends is right!!!

I'm here very late today. Last night when I went to bed I coughed quite a bit and coughed up some blood. A few more times during the night and this morning as well. MAJOR alarm bells. Rather than go to work Dh and I went to Marion V.A. instead. I checked out fine ( blood tests & chest x-ray. ) and they think it is my sinuses which like to take off at ANY weather change. So, I think I will take my allergy pills for awhile again to get it all dried back up and otherwise behave as usual. I certainly would not have gone to work with my patient with what was going on but can feel all right about it now.

Glad that was all it was --- I was having some imagination twinges I didn't like at all so good news all around. I do admit I'm exhausted. Long drive ( 150 mile rd. trip ) and it was drizzling and raining all the time. I was thankful we had no sleet or ice which was they said a possibility. So -- safe and sound and doing fine.

Ducky -- put us in your favorites okay. We would love to see you here more often.

Teka - that is sooooo great. Hard to remember when we're in the middle of taking care of everyone all the time, but really important.

Good morning ☀️ to everyone. Jackie, good news that you're basically healthy.

Sunny and mild weather here today.

Happy Monday

Mornin all,

Lots going on here as usual. We had 2 of the grandchildren that are moving to Lake Placid overnight both Fri and Sat nights. They are so incredibly different here without Mom. Thurs was an early release day, so I picked my DGS up. When we got home, he immediately saw the 2 dog leashes on the table because the dogs had an appt for the vet that day. He of course wanted to walk them. I said absolutely no because the dogs are too big and strong and they are not leash trained. I ended up on a call about insurance, and when I got off, both dogs and leashes and Kayden were gone. I had to get in my car to find them and they were with a very irate man, who said I should know that a child Kayden's size cannot walk them. I told him I was very clear with Kayden that he was not to take them outside. I don't know if he believed him, but it was true.

When we got home, I asked him if he thought my saying "no" was to protect him or punish him. He said punish. So I explained again why I had said no, then asked him why he was behaving so badly, and, my eight year old baby burst into real tears. He doesn't want to move. He says the land they are planning to build from containers is on a property that is so large, they have no neighbors. He doesn't want to leave his friends and his school. OMG, my heart broke even more it already was. I fail to see any logical reason for them to go. Neither of them have jobs there, my SIL hasn't even begun to find or make a workshop so he can continue custom painting remotes for video games, much less start on a home for them. They don't have enough containers to build anything that all of them could be comfortable in, but they are moving 2 hrs or more away into a 2 bed 1 bath apt., taking the kids from the only security they have.

Then on another note, the DD who lives with me started dating someone. First serious relationship since her divorce 12 years ago. He is a devout Jehovah Witness. I know very little about Jehovah Witnesses, except that they don't celebrate any holidays and won't get blood transfusions. I could not and would not make a judgement about all Jehovah Witnesses based on those two facts, so please understand that I am not, in any way, being negative towards that religion. However, this has already become a major issue for them (him more than her). He has broken up with her twice over it already, including Christmas Eve. My daughter is not a practicing Christian at this time, but holidays and birthday are important to her. He was feeling so guilty about seeing her, although they have done nothing more than kiss, that he felt compelled to confess his sinfulness to the governing members of his church. They have excluded him from taking full part in their practices for 90 days.

So they have had some phone conversations, but no face to face contact since Christmas. She is very clear to him that she does not want him to give up his beliefs for her, because she realizes that the day may come when he "blames" her for that. Then I guess he called last Wed and said he wanted to see her Fri nite. The whole religion part is really just background to the real problem. She agreed to see him Fri night to talk, but meanwhile one of the men that works at her job was in town and was going to be stuck here all weekend, and asked Tracy to go to dinner with him Thurs night, because he is unfamiliar with the area and did not want fast food again. While they were eating, the other guy called. Tracy ignored it. Fifteen minutes later, he called again and again she ignored it. The co-worker she was with went to the bathroom and Tracy texted D that she was out to dinner with the guys from work and would call him as soon as she got home. This is where It gets crazy- he went nuts on the phone, accusing her of cheating, lying, giving away "his" seat in our house. She hung up on him multiple times, but he kept calling back.

Tracy is like me, not liking confrontations, but when prevoked, watch out! She let him have it, asking what right did he have to question anything she did. He broke up with her! As far as cheating she told him she was the one cheated on in her marriage and would never put that pain on anyone. She also said she was in a very controlling marriage and was not going there again. When she made herself very clear, he backed way down, and brought her flowers. Anybody else ever see or read about abusive men? My radar is screaming get away from him, but like I said, it is her first relationship in 12 years, so she is going to see what happens from here.

That's my life at the moment. Thankfully, my brother will be here within a week of today. He just has a way of making me feel safe and sane, even with all the chaos. Hopefully, he'll be staying for a couple of months.

Anne