Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Hmmm, interesting questions Chevy. I wouldn't have written that check ( $ Two Thousand Five Hundred & 93/100-------------------, but then again, since I got my debit card, and especially when I'm doing something local --- I just use it and later that day go on my bank website and enter the debit from there. Helps me keep my check-book up to date as well as make sure the figures that I have in my head or on a slip of paper match what the bank subtracted from my account.
No one might recall that I only got my check card ( debit ) likely about a yr. ago. At first I was terrified about keeping up. It has become fairly second nature to me, but at times ( I've made addition/subtraction errors now and then ) I get riled up a bit -- when it doesn't come out on the penny. Dh used to just "fix" his check-book which was also scary to me with some checks written and some debited -- I'm not sure he quite knew where the figures were coming from but I want to know and account for every penny --- ALL the time. A little OCD on my part but I was a book-keeper for a few years with no fudging allowed --- so it became a fact for me at some point that I should know where money was, who I owed, what I could spend or no spend while having my balance always agree with the bank. They ( only once and special circumstance ) have had to RETURN money to me. I'm sure there are people who can wait a couple of weeks and still find an 'outness'. I will maybe never have that much confidence about mine.
We are having a rain ( maybe stopped by now -- not sure ) and the good news is that I don't think it will get near cool enough for it to turn to ice. In fact, it sounds like we will be wet through Christmas --- but hopefully the warmth ( 40's or so ) will stay and we won't have to face bad roads on our holiday tour.
I'm still loving my hearing aids. I think this coming yr. they will change mine out. I thought it was this yr. but now think one more yr. to go. I have noticed that I'll be ordering batteries much sooner this time ( they give me enough for a yr. at one time ) than I ever did. By the time I got mine and I'm sure Chevy was like this too --- my hearing had deteriorated enough ( in one ear anyway ) that I was struggling ALL of the time to hear properly and I was making a lot of mistakes at work taking information over the phone. So, I'm thankful every day when I put on my aids after my night of sleep, for the gift of hearing again.
There are sill some issues --- like I now tend to hear the loudest sound --- so if someone is talking while the t.v. is on --- because the t.v. is modulated ( and language cleared and filtered ) it almost always comes out as the loudest noise in the room as opposed to a person whose voice starts strong but rises, falls, or flattens out at in-consistent times. Also those in front of me I hear better as my aids are set to hear those behind me lower --- which I think is less confusing then EVERYTHING everywhere the same consistent sound and tone. I can pick out who is talking etc.
Well anyway --- didn't mean to get into all of that. I still have to tell DH ( I think he finds it a bit annoying ) that I can't hear him over the t.v.. He doesn't realize either that his voice doesn't have the strong pitch it once did when he was younger. We think of ourselves as un-changed, but whether subtle or not --- nothing remains the same.
I hope you are all going to have a nice day and no really bad weather.
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Good Morning, up to 50 this morning, probably saying bye bye to the last of our snow! I use my debit card as credit, and call it my plastic check! I keep track of it in my checkbook as though I were writing a check. I wud have written the check as two thousand-five hundred &93/100 also. Usually only use my checks to pay bills and send gifts to the grands. I keep an extra balance that I don't even show, so that I never overdraw. My acct is never to the penny, but close, I figure it when the statement comes every month.
I dont wear hearing aids, though both of my girls were deaf, so I know the us and downs. I hate the TV programs, especially Hallmark movies, where the supposed background music drowns out the dialogue! I do have tinnitus at 4,000 hz, which blocks many high frequency sounds,though my hearing itself is OK. so I have to turn up the TV louder than DH wud, to hear over my never ending whistle. tried a gew remidies for it , but there really isnt anything that seems to work.
Stay warm and safe and have a blessed Christmas.
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Thanks gals.... Got it taken care of.... My fault about the check, I somehow eliminated the $500 part... Just wrote it for Two thousand and 92/100 But I wrote the right amount on the top line, $2,593.92. I wrote another check, but they went ahead and ordered the hearing aids anyway! Wouldn't take debit card because they don't take Master Card without my pin.... and since I don't use that either, I forgot what it is! They only take Visa anyway.
I'm just glad it is over.... Bet I don't do THAT one again!
They were getting so crowded! But we were there when they opened, ordered 2 hot-dogs, took them home, and we each ate 1/2 of one for lunch! They have the BEST hot-dogs!
Almost 50 degrees out! Still a lot of ice around, where the sun doesn't reach, but that's okay.
Jackie, each battery lasts about a week.... sometimes longer... My main problem is with the excessive wax in my left ear! I'm just glad I can get it out with ear-candles..... My hearing hasn't changed much.... but my hearing aids are about 6 years old. Technology has changed and improved they say.... So the newer ones work differently.... The Bernafon Juna 9 Pico..... I'll get it all explained to me when I get them......
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Good for you Sunny. My batteries last almost two weeks. It is a good-sized battery. I'm thinking ( had another friend here who got aides after I did ) yours are a bit smaller than mine though operate almost the same with the plastic line that curls into your ear --- and the ear bud that sits down next the bottom of the ear. Betty's batteries here lasted about a week too.
I get the ear wax too, but it seems like when I take my hearing aid off my ear and pull out the ear bud it comes out with it -- so I never lose any sensation of sound/hearing. I have more trouble with that in the morning nasal stuffiness from allergies when I have to blow my nose over and over --- that interferes and I just have to wait until the pressure settles back down --- but I don't hear too well for a short time --- 5 mins. or so. Ah -- always something, huh !!!! I'm just glad there is a good solution. My hearing just got bad mainly from older age --- I do have a hole in one ear, but since even repaired I would need hearing aids, I chose to skip the repair. It is surgery, and you have to actually go all the out to have it done --- and as it wouldn't help me to go w/o the hearing aid I just figured why bother. For all I know --- I may ( but I hope not ) need some surgery down the road so if I can skip something all the better.
It has been dreary here with rain a second time this afternoon. Sounds like we will have this off and on thru Christmas ( oh joy ) but if our temps don't drop too much --- it will be a lot better than snow.
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Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie0 -
Wishing all peace, health, and a loving heart. Merry Christmas from my house to yours.
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Wishing you all a Blessed Christmas!
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Most docs don't have a clue about LE. Lower body LE usually occurs on the left side, because that's the drainage path. When I was taught to do MLD (and my LE was on the R side), this was the sequence: massage clavicular nodes, then both sets of inguinal (groin) nodes, then down both sides of the cleavage simultaneously; then gently stroke from R to L axilla across the top of the chest; then massage first the L and then R axilla; then the R breast (all quadrants); then stroke down the R side from axilla to groin; then upper arm (first outer, then inner), middle arm including elbow (outer, then inner), forearm (both surfaces), back of hand to wrist; finally, massage R axilla again.
I get lower leg edema only when overindulging on sodium and if I let myself get dehydrated. Never had lower LE, though.
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No time to catch up on 5 pages of posts. Just dropped by to say Merry Christmas and to say that Mike is still alive and I haven't totally succumbed to caregiver burnout...but it's close.
Both Allison and Stephanie are here for Christmas since it's likely to be their father's last one. Ryan is not doing great but as long as I keep him in wine and cigarettes he isn't too much of a "pain" the past two week. That's all I can hope for. I have Mike home for the first time in two months. Don't know how long it will last. He requires a lot of attention at night so I'm majorly sleep deprived already. He's only been out 5 days!
He has gotten pretty close to dying three times in two months so I'm kind of numb. Maybe tomorrow I'll have time to go back and read those 5 pages of posts. Miss you all.
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Best wishes to everyone on the day after Christmas. We had a sunny, warm and somewhat muggy day, in terms of weather.
My mother was there but not feeling well. She was in a reclining chair covered with a quilt and not her normal self at all. We are expecting this to be her last Christmas. Nature is taking its course.
Sandra, hug to you. I cannot imagine what you and Mike have been/still are going through.
Sandy, it's fun to think of you in New York City. Enjoy!
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It is warm here today ( 60 degrees ) as I think about all of you. Those who are having some rough times ( Sandra & Mike ) and facing inevitabilities ( Carole ) and all of us as well --- we are here and the only choice is to do our very best. We are going to get tired, fall down a bit, maybe even on a once in a while occasion feel some mild resentment for the turn of our lives and that of our loved ones --- but we are truly doing the VERY best we can. There is no fault in that.
Even yrs. and yrs. later I wonder if I could have done more for my own Mom & Dad. It is how we are made. In reality, our responses are perfect as lessons are being learned and a design is being adhered to and even if we don't know now what it all references and means to us and others --- we will. So, I do think, but I don' beat myself up.
The sun will be coming back to us, by tomorrow I think. Not too soon for me. The rest of the week will be nice, but then, we may have some more winter. As we have not had any real snow as yet --- I'm wondering. We were due ( or so it was said ) for a truly rough winter but so far --- as I knock on wood quite quickly. Hoping that between that --- and a new efficient furnace --- maybe our propane will not be as bad as it might have been. They did tell us our next budget billing would be much higher. It is $55.00 per month this season which I think is the lowest we have perhaps ever paid. I
I hope this day after X-mas ( exchanges ) isn't too difficult or tedious.
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It looks pretty outside with the sun shining, but I have the a/c on in the house. The Christmas tree has been un-decorated and put away along with the other decorations. I raised my ams to the sky after helping dh stow a couple of plastic boxes in an outbuilding and declared, CHRISTMAS IS OVER!!!!
I am not a holiday person and actually approach the two big compulsory holidays, Thanksgiving and Christmas, with some sense of dread and even resentment. Admittedly I do get some enjoyment out of them as I submit to the required. I always look forward to the beginning of a new year with Thanksgiving and Christmas behind me. Celebrating New Year's Eve is not compulsory in my life so I don't celebrate it most years. It's necessary to make plans in advance like dinner reservations. We have done that some years but not the last two years because the couple who were our "out to dinner" friends moved away. There were years, too, when we went to parties where attendance was pretty much expected. You either got drunk and suffered a hangover the next day or you were bored with the silly antics of your drunk friends.
The big tents for selling fireworks have sprouted up all over the place. It's amazing to me how much money people spend on fireworks. Our neighborhood is lit up with big explosions of color in the sky that cost $20 and up per pop. Probably more like $50 a pop. I figure a lot of these families in the upscale houses spend at least $500 on fireworks.
Call me dinosaur! Out of touch with the times.
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The "lower leg" Lymphedema.... Yes, on the left side... Much worse after the broken hip and surgery with screws, drains and a rod! I watched on You Tube how to massage the lymphatic system on legs.... Really helps when it flares up. Also elevating your legs when resting!
Thinking of you Sandra....! Best wishes for Mike and you....
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A free mind is one which is untroubled and unfettered by anything, which has not bound its best part to any particular manner of being or worship and which does not seek its own interest in anything but is always immersed in God's most precious will. . . . There is no work which men and women can perform, however small, which does not draw from this its power and strength. - Meister Eckhart
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Sun is shining but don't think it will get up to 60 today.
We will just have to get along. Had hoped to vac my car out in prep for cleaning the interior with Amour-All, but didn't make it. Had to do my Walmarts for what I forgot when I was there before --- so home late again and no time to mess with the fun stuff. Since the sun it out bright today I still might be able this afternoon to do what I need to with my car. Lots of general thoughts for the yr. ahead, but I don't make New Years resolutions. My inspiration for better changes comes with the first signs of Spring and fresh growth and things turning that beautiful shade of the first green of Spring. It is always magical for me and I am full of gratitude as well as inspiration then. So, I have a lot to look forward to coming up. I hope you are all going to have a great day.
Jackie
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Sandra, Good to hear from you. Would it be possible to hire someone to come in at night - or during the day to give you a nap? Sending wishes for peace and love all around. Hugs.
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Belated Merry Christmas to all.
Like Carole, I am mostly glad they are over. They just don't excite me at all. I know a big part is that the family is so scattered, and even with those who are local, I seem to fall at the bottom of the list. My DD and her family had to spend most of the day at her FIL's and didn't get here till after 4. I suppose I should be happy- it's the first time in years they've stayed for dinner. Her MIL came with them, like she did last Thanksgiving. Tracy prepared most of the meal, but the MIL can't sit and relax, so she jumps right in to help Tracy, which would be great if she didn't tell Tracy that she was doing everything wrong and should do it this way instead. The worst was at dinner. I always keep the youngest grandkids next to me at the table. Someone suggested I say grace, and Kayden, being totally Kayden picked up his water bottle to take a drink. Mimi reached over and knocked the bottle out of his mouth. Way overboard for a grandmother's reaction.
Then my youngest one and his new wife stopped by about 7 for a whole 30 minutes. We set a date to meet for lunch today, and as usual, he "forgot". The last time we had a meal together was nine month's ago, when Jamie had Alexandra. He works at the hospital and we met and ate in the hospital cafeteria. I cannot tell you how many times we have made plans that he "forgets"
It's not helping at all that Jamie will be moving to Lake Placid, FL within the next few weeks. I cannot imagine not seeing the kids on pretty much a daily basis. She says she'll be coming down every Fri when the kids get home from school, and spend the night, going back Sat morning. Seeing me is just convenient, she will really be coming down to deliver the remotes her husband makes to the man who sells them. I should be glad they're getting out of the warehouse, but they are moving into a 2 bed, 1 bath apt. They're a family of 5. I am so heartbroken, I can't even talk about it without crying. Neither of the older kids want to go at all. Jamie's life is chaotic to say the least. My home is the only real home they have had.
My oldest daughter in Atlanta, had her in-laws for the holiday for the first time in at least four years. MIL got so mad when the moved to Ga, and it just got worse when we bought the house for them. The final straw was that when my DD and family drove down for a weekend, because my husband was failing quickly, and two siblings called her without knowing the other was calling to tell her if she wanted to see her Dad alive one last time, she needed to come. MIL was furious that they didn't make a side trip to see her. An extra 2 hr drive. So she dropped off the map, and none of us heard a word from her until she showed up for Jamie's baby shower. Then out of the blue, she decided she wanted to go to them for Christmas. And fo some reason, Nancy has been terribly homesick this year and regretting the move.
And my DS's marriage is getting worse by the minute. When Nancy called to wish him Merry Christmas, he said he had spent the day cleaning glitter off the floor. Nancy told him he would miss the holiday chaos one day, and he said, no he wouldn't, because they are nothing but stressful.
As you can tell, I am not in a very good place right now. I hope everyone is doing well. I just read through pages of entries, but my mind won't retain particulars, so just know you are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Anne
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Hi my dear friend, Anne, guess I feel a lot like you anymore for Christmas. DS in Vegas, called me today, keep up with them by reading their posts on Facebook. DD in Maryland, got a Merry Christmas on facebook! that was it, no card, no present! the one who always called, sent a gift , etc was my DD who passed. DH son doesn't speak to him and we don't see the grands who are both in college and old enough to visit when they are home. That leaves only DH daughter and her family, who came over Christmas afternoon, then took us along to his family's house, where we visited for a few hours. As I decorate and get presents for the family, I often wonder why I bother, wud be happy to just go away til it's all over.
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Bonnets, We only do presents for children. As we get older, they probably have more money than we do and we certainly don't need another thing. I gave DH pajamas and a billfold. He gave me a watercolor pad for class and 2 colors I needed. We're both happy. Our anniversary is New Year's Eve and we're going to get something for the house. Perhaps a new sofa.
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We dont do big presents, I got 2 sweaters and a massage gift card from DH. I used to give the grandparents kids or family portraits. No one expects anything big, just that they take the time to remember you!
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Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha0 -
Ah, the sun it out this morning again. Makes my insides smile. I will have a regular day today --- not all scrunched up and boxy like yesterday. Yesterday I found out that no one else ( but me ) could spend time with my patient as everyone at the house had flu-like issues. So, I went twice yesterday, and worked like the dickens in-between to get last of the month bills out and carried around town where they needed to go. No time left over for anything on my car. Today sounds far better to work on my car. Then maybe an exterior car wash Thurs.
Problem -- oh, I don't know. Rain will come soon I think. I could just wait, but in the meantime my car isn't looking too good. Sigh !!!! I'm sure I'll do one of those spur of the moments " I can't stand it any longer " things and get it washed --- wasting my $5.00. Sigh !!!! It will bother me if the interior is great once again, while the outside stinks.
Anne, I don't know --- what would life be like without all the frictions that go on in daily life. I do wonder??? Has your daughter's husband given up his idea of "grid" living --- or is this just something temporary. I am glad for the no more warehouse too, but that great change is QUITE a change for you. Maybe a better process ( given some time ) is coming along. I hope so. I don't know how you do it --- hats off.
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So much for doing nothing on New Year's Eve. Dh made plans for us to go out to dinner with another couple we've known for years, dating back to our days of playing tennis. I like the restaurant. Can't say the couple are my favorite people but they will probably be good company. We're going to their house before dinner and I will be interested in seeing the interior. It's fairly new and she's quite the decorator with money not a problem.
The house is on one of the golf courses I play and I've admired the over landscaped back yard.
Today I cancelled on golf and stayed home. I just caught up on some ironing and am having a cup of coffee. I just might go to Michael's and Hobby Lobby and look for yarn for an heirloom afghan. Every square is different and the project should be a challenge. Both those stores are just down the highway, 3 to 5 minutes away.
Hope every is having a good Wednesday.
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Forgot to share my most important news. I had my appointment with the nephrologist yesterday and am scheduled for some tests that will allow her to diagnose my kidney function more exactly. The current numbers place me in stage 3 with moderate kidney disease but she thinks my fitness will elevate me to a healthier stage 2 or even 1. I hope she's right. Stage 1 is dialysis.
She explains body chemistry in more detail than I can understand but the important thing is that she understands it
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Learn to become still.
And to take your attention away from what you don't want,
and all the emotional charge around it,
and place your attention on what you wish to experience.
- Michael Beckwith0 -
Carole, I must be missing something --- if stage 1 is healthier and is dialysis so hope I am just reading that wrong. I am though hoping and praying for good news along with ways to magnify the best possible outcome and continued treatment to keep it that way.
Sunny, here. Not cold at all but will feel cool since there is a bit of wind outside. Able to get my car vac'ed and floor mats washed, dried and put back in. Polished the dash and other areas -- not the greatest job, but sure looking much, much nicer. Hard in some of the weather to make the difference you'd really like to. I will maybe get to the car wash so that I am once again pretty clean.
Sad to hear not only of Carrie Fisher's passing ( all those wonderful Star War movies along with " Postcards From the Edge " ). Then yesterday Debbie Fisher passed on. Just one day from Carrie. Really has been a rough yr. for famous people transitions.
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Slapping myself on the forehead! Stage 5 is dialysis. Stage 1 is the healthiest category.
I just lit our fireplace. A front blew in today, clearing out the muggies. We'll have some days of winter, very welcome for me.
I spent several hours with my mother this afternoon. She has not yet recovered from her 2nd procedure to crush a very large kidney stone. She snapped back after the first procedure but not the 2nd. At least she isn't staying in bed all day as she was doing last week.
Hope everyone is having a good evening
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Carole.... saying prayers for your Mom....You are a real loving Daughter to her! Glad she is still in your life!
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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to my friends here. (That is all of you, I hope!)
I read back a few pages and maybe missed one, but there are always needs for listening, understanding, and prayers.
Jackie, I am quite impressed that DH has found another job immediately. Wow...what an example to others to not waste time rehashing how bad the situation could be! I hope it works out for you both.
Carole, enjoy your New Years dinner. I hope your mother is comfortable and peaceful. She is blessed to have her family nearby.
My Dh made a New Year's reservation for four here, and I have no idea who is going....Ducky, I saw your post and all your bragging about being the oldest. I guess that does give you some weight here....so good to have you! And you bring out the best in Chevy so it could be fun.
Bonnets, sorry to hear that your family has seemed to have forgotten how to keep in touch. It forces us to "not care" but deep down, we all want a little acknowledgment and affirmation. My family scattered this year and it was different. I just suppressed my real feelings and stepped up to the plans that unfolded.
I ended up having a very quiet Christmas Eve but a nice Christmas day at my DD#2 in CT - with her two children and my DS from Chicago. We slept over this year instead of rushing out for the last ferry.
My DD#1 and my 2 grandsons came for a quick visit from DC. I did some extra prep of guest rooms, gifting and last minute decorating with kids' things. We had fun shopping, bowling, and going out for great Italian dinner. They left Wednesday, and then, of course, I started to come down with a head cold. I hope it leaves as quickly as it arrived.There are so many others here who are special to me...thanks again, Jackie, for being the best anchor woman on BCO! Anne, Sandra, Wren, Puffin, Chi Sandy, Jean...and so many others I can't name right now, wishing you a peaceful and healthy year to come.
PS...as this year comes to a close, I want to remember my friend Blondie (Sandy) who posted here when she could. She lost her fight with BC in 2016; but she did it her way - stopping chemo and living through two more birthdays. May she soar with freedom among the stars.
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