Husband dealing with Tamoxifen needing to vent
My wife was diagnosed with Stage 2A in June 2019, so we are coming up to 4 years. She has had a lumpectomy and follow up surgery, chemotherapy, radiation and now hormone therapy (taking Tamoxifen). My wife also has co-morbidities including thyroid cancer and Type 2 diabetes with complications (nephropathy), and fatty liver. She injects herself with insulin every day. She is 47 years old now, 43 when diagnosed.
We thought things would be getting better at this point, but my wife tells me that her current hormone therapy has been the worst experience of all. At one point, she was taking Exemestasine (don't think I spelled that right), and said it was absolutely awful. She was prescribed but stopped taking Lupron.
I sometimes feel I am going crazy with stress. I am 49 and a supervising lawyer where I work, and we have 2 young girls ages 8 and 10. Luckily the children seem ok and my older daughter in particular is excelling at school.
About every month or two my wife melts down and we wind up having vicious arguments. I try my hardest to tell myself "its the medication making her do that", but too often I take the bait. Usually I repress my feelings to spare upsetting our children. I am starting to find that having repeated hostile exchanges will wear on you over time.
I suspect she is complaining and gossiping about me to her in-laws, as I notice they treat me different now and seem less friendly.
I am a practicing Christian and wouldn't ever leave my wife, but must admit the thought has crossed my mind in difficult moments. Our marriage hasn't been the same since June 2019.
She tells me she feels just awful a lot of the time, and I believe her. She has chronic pain and she must often take rest breaks. It seems she has developed some stiffness in her knees too. I love her and feel so sorry for her. If you can believe it, her own sister turned her back on her after the diagnosis. Their mother had died of cancer, so maybe it brought back painful memories.
She often complains the doctors don't understand or are dismissive of her fatigue and complaints. I believe her.
I think she also suffers from depression and anxiety. She just gets mad at me when I suggest she should see a counsellor. I think she has gone to see a social worker at the hospital a few times but not recently.
My family hasn't always helped. In particular, my mother thinks my wife should be over it and back to work by now, and insinuates that if only she would "think positive" everything would be ok.
I'd love to hear from anyone for any thoughts, comments, suggestions.
Just needed to vent.