Sex is difficult
I am finished with right mastectomy and reconstruction and left breast reduction and I'm on Anastrazole for 3 more years. My biggest issue is with sex. We always had a great relationship with sex. It was wonderful. Now I find, I cannot climax. I actually don't really have any pleasurable feelings when he touches me. I use a vaginal moisture suppository 3 times a week so dryness is not the problem. I see a urogynecologist. They ordered a non absorbing low dose estrogen cream but I found that after a month of using it my left breast became lumpy and tender so I stopped it. This doctor recommended I try some testosterone. I said no but I could go back and ask for a prescription if that might help. My husband has been very upset by our lack of sex life. Now he doesn't even touch me, kiss me, sit by me. We had been having sex about every one to two weeks. He hasn't even asked me to have sex in about 6 weeks. We need to talk. I don't know what to do. We can still have inter course and it's not very painful for me. Only slightly since using the Revaree suppositories. I just don't have any pleasurable feelings anymore. I feel like we are just roommates now and we have no passion anymore. My husband is becoming more distant. It's really sad.
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Hi @jennyb103 and welcome to Breastcancer.org. We are so sorry for the reasons that being you here, but we’re so glad you’ve found us! You’re sure to find our amazing community a wonderful source of advice, information, encouragement, and support — we are all here for you!
The sexual side effects of breast cancer treatment are very common, including the loss of libido and the lack of emotional intimacy. You’re sure to get some helpful responses here soon.
In the meantime, we wanted to share some resources with you that might help:
We hope you find this information helpful and that you and your husband can find a solution that works for you both ❤️
Sending gentle hugs, and welcome again! Let us know how we can continue to help.
—The Mods
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@jennyb103, how are you doing? We are sorry you haven't received responses from other members yet. We wanted to bump your thread to see if anyone has insights or experiences to share. There's a lot to deal with when it comes to sexual health and intimacy, but hearing from others who’ve faced similar situations can be so helpful. Please, folks, don’t hesitate to jump in if you have something to share. We are here to support each other!
The Mods
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Honestly I'd do it anyway for the Intimacy. Tell him you need more time to get there. And you really want it (like before). Just doont say it wasnt any good!.Not easy? I know all to well.
I Have a great deal of pain stopping . me from sex at all. It's almost alright. Dh is 77and can hardly climax anymore.
This is after several times a week. It wasn't abrupt. I have lichens sclerosis and treatment should help some. That we are both taking antidepressants doesn't help.
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Hi ladies, I’m back on the carousel of cancer treatment for the 3rd time. This time I had my ovaries removed since I am now stage 4 and I didn’t want to continue more Lupron injections. But the vaginal pain and atrophy came on fast this time. My husband doesn’t complain and we have sex fairly regularly but it’s becoming more and more painful. I know I need to use the vaginal moisturizers more frequently. Has anyone else found anything that works? My GYN recommended vaginal dilators which I am seriously considering.
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Hi @alden722,
We're so sorry to hear of your progression to MBC, and for the side effects you're experiencing. We hope others will stop by soon to share what's been working for them. In the meantime, we wanted to point you to this information on our site that you might find helpful:
In addition, we encourage you to join our free, weekly Virtual Support Groups where you can meet others managing an MBC diagnosis and the side effects experienced. We have a few different, lovely groups of women so please check them out and register if you feel comfortable.
We hope this helps!
—The Mods
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I know this thread is a bit old, but I wanted to add that talking openly with a partner about what feels good now can make a huge difference. For me, dryness and low desire were big hurdles on hormone meds, and a good vaginal moisturizer plus taking things slowly helped. Is anyone else finding certain positions or times of day easier on the body and emotions?
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Hi @shenwaex , and welcome to the BCO community! We hope you can make good connections here. Please know that we’re here to help if you need support. Hearing from others with similar experiences can be really helpful, and we encourage you to keep sharing your thoughts and questions anytime.
Best,
The Mods
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