My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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@threetree Yes I agree that so many of the chemo drugs can have effects on our vision. I have sure had enough drugs over the years that perhaps worsened my vision. Hoping this was just a one and done fluke. MO feels like maybe a visit to a neurologist would be beneficial if it happens again, we’ll see.
@mara51506 Ugh agree this humidity is ungodly this summer! Sounds like you got in a good workout with all your chores. Also glad the pants turned up too. Hope you’re having a relaxing night and sleep soundly.
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@candy I am so very sorry to hear the news of your sweet friend. I think sometimes news isn't relayed properly and you are left guessing what truly happened. Thinking about @exbronx girl, she stayed on top of her bone met for years and yet between scans things changed rapidly. @cookie Oh what good news on your scans. This build up and anxiety is so much. Sometimes I wish I could drink my worries away. That would require one beer. lol. @shanagirl You hang in there gal. This next month will pass quickly and I just know you will find good relief. @mara You amaze me the amount of work you complete in just a day. Can't find the energy to stand too long in one place and cook. We found a delivery service called "Factor". Dietician approved meals and we have not been disappointed even in one meal we have selected. It's not the most expensive delivery of fresh cooked, never frozen, but it's not the most reasonable either. We started the program 3 months ago. The salmon is one of my favorite, followed by Turkey. We splurge one week out of the month for truffled mushrooms over filet mignon. It is very good. That one has fresh carrots.
Well I only have one more horse pill for the diverticulitis to go. I split the time off Ibrance by 5 off at diagnosis and back on after that. I worry about being off too long, but somewhere I read that the Fulvestrent is the critical part of the combo. I just can't heal diverticulitis without a heavy antibiotics. It's like playing whack-a-mole. @intothelight and @threetop and anyone that I may have missed, you are in my thoughts and prayers, too. Much love and in pockets for all your needs.
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Good morning to all - wishing everyone a wonderful day and good week ahead.
I'm gearing up for my liver biopsy tomorrow. I remain terrified, as I am such a big baby when needles and knives are involved. Just going to take it each bit at a time now until it's all over. My good old childhood friend is going to serve as my escort and that's a real plus. Now if the procedure will just go smoothly and painlessly and return a benign result (yeah, right), all will be well. Ugh!
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@threetree I will be praying for a smooth and painless liver biopsy tomorrow. I am glad I had mine done as it provided lots of information.
We are in a 90s heatwave here in Colorado, but it will be in the low 70s by Wednesday. We never know!
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@threetree I'm glad your friend will go with you. Prayers for an easy biopsy that provides the information that is needed. Personally, I don't look at the needles or knives-just close my eyes.
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@intolight - Thank you so very much. It's nice to hear that you are glad you did yours, because I know yours wasn't a real easy one to say the least. It's that information you mentioned that my onc is so interested in getting. He's been "encouraging" me to do this now for the last 3-4 months, and I have just been too darn scared, but will brave it as best I can tomorrow. At least he said that we have time and there's nothing urgent at this point. He just wants to get a handle on everything and get a game plan in place for if and when the next scans show something that we have to jump on. Things have been relatively slow growing and steady for a few months now.
@chicagoan - I really appreciate your comments, thank you. I wish I could just close my eyes and then not worry about the needles and knives, but I get all freaked out way ahead of the needles and knives. I now some get anti anxiety meds beforehand, but I haven't asked for anything like that. I'll just take it as it comes - and I too don't look at any of the needles and knives, but just knowing they're involved and that there can be complications, I just won't be able to relax until it's all over and I hear that if went fine. When I get scans I am very slightly claustrophobic and then just closing my eyes can really help and make all the difference, but not with this. I guess there is some just invaluable information that they get from these and I hadn't known it was so much before. I thought it was basically for confirmation purposes and so far every doctor that's looked at the scans is absolutely convinced that what they are seeing is cancer, but I guess there's far more to it than just that confirmation.
I'm just feeling sorry for myself today, and don't know how to get out of that kind of a hole. I know it's not good for a person. I did have a nice distraction this morning with a long drive to a not nearby store, and I got enough stuff that I can just hang out here at home for a few days after the procedure without having to go get anything, in case I wind up super tired or something. It's real pretty here today too, so the nice views of the water and mountains helped too. I also helped my brother order some groceries for delivery to him and that was also a nice thing to help get my mind off all of this. I felt like I was still useful and helpful to someone else. That's always a plus.
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@threetree Prayers up for strength and positive thoughts for your biopsy tomorrow. May the time fly by quickly, in your pocket always❌⭕️
@irishlove Yipee for the last horse pill!! Also glad to hear you treated yourself to meal delivery and the meals are yummy. You deserve the break!!
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@cookie54 - Cookie, thank you so much for the nice words and thoughts. I just wish it was already about 24 hours from now and it was all over. You can bet I will think of you and others here who've offered such nice thoughts, while I'm enduring my ordeal tomorrow. There's no question that it will be a big help. Also, I totally agree with you that @irishlove's meal delivery sounds wonderful. I'm glad she and her husband decided to splurge a little and go for it. Sometimes, it can make a real nice and positive difference; just going that extra little bit.
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I hope all goes well for you tomorrow. I was crazy squeamish about the procedure but I've almost gotten used to them. I know the pain killers work and there has been little pain with recent procedure. Like none with mastectomy. Thank you God for nerve blocks. That surgery shouldn't happen without one.
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@gailmary - Your nice comment is so much appreciated and I will keep it with me all day today. Glad to know I'm not the only one squeamish and nervous as heck about these things. Sometimes I think everyone else just "takes it" or isn't nearly as bothered about these things as I am, but on the other hand I find it hard to believe that's true. These procedures and their implications have big impacts on us physically and mentally. I hope I can reach the point of "almost getting used to them" like you have. So far I have not. Well I've got my fingers crossed that I get through all of this today without any real trouble, and you've have helped boost my hopes for sure! Thank you.
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Shitty start to the day, when I got up, the fridge door was open, freezer works but fridge is not working at all. I know I did not leave it open but the seal must've broke. Phoned property manager but am forced to toss out everything in the fridge, it is all warm and the butter was gross. Have to wait for repairs and toss everything in the garbage. Freezer does work. Will need to subside with what was in the freezer and wait to shop until I know when they coming. I am disappointed but what can I do, had a few tears and then shut them off. I hope the PM is coming today.
Other thing bothering me, won't be seeing DB or SIL in the near future due to OT and then they are going away. I have to let it go, they are not obliged to make plans to include me. I will need to take care of myself which I can do. We don't talk on the phone either so it will be just me.
Thinking best stuff I can make from freezer are ramen and peppers, use dry seasonings with them. I still have garlic mayo and garlic parm mayo but not opening until I have a fridge that works.
Anyway, hope all have a good day, I will be sulking a bit. Oh, I did pull out a leftover from the freezer of a burger, it was not very good even after baking it.
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@mara51506 Fridge problems are the worse! I hope things get fixed quickly for you and that you don't feel too lonely while DB and SIL are away. You deserve a day of sunshine and joy. This morning I threw out some things from my freezer since it is garbage day that had been there too long and I hate cleaning out the fridge. Climbing into your pocket for hugs.
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@mara51506 What a horrible start to your day. Hope that the problem is resolved soon. Having cancer can be a lonely life. Sorry that you are missing your DB and SIL. We are all here, ready to chat and understand what you are going through.
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@chicagoan, I have not seen them in over a month. If DB is working 12 hour days, I can definitely understand just being too tired and their anniversary is coming up in August. Though I am disappointed it is what it is, same as the fridge. Tossing everything out that was in the fridge, triple bagging and keeping in the container out back. No point whining, the building will repair when they choose too I guess. I cannot keep worrying about that. Tonight going to order the McDouble and Junior Chicken and decide how to handle other meals as you lose alot without the mayo or sour cream etc and unable to open queso either. Ramen will have to do.
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@mara51506 UGH Sorry to hear about the fridge! I know there's not much you can do about it and you have every right to be annoyed .Cooking is a huge part of your daily life that you enjoy, fingers crossed that management rectifies quickly. Hopefully when DB returns home from vacation you will be able to get together. Maybe you can suggest getting together for dinner to hear about their vacation. Hugs and we are always here to chant.
@threetree Thinking of you hoping all went smoothly.
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@cookie54 You won't believe it because I don't believe it but after clearing out and throwing out the contents, I shut the fridge and now it is cool. If it works good but skeptical so all eggs and a bunch of cheese and condiments are gone. Sigh, will still let the property manager come, I have Herceptin tomorrow, just been a depressive day between the fridge and not seeing DB again.
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Fridge is still cool as of this morning, they are scheduling a techinician to come, unsure when. May email back advising of my Herceptin appointment. Fridge looks sad after disposing of the spoiled food but that is OK, someone will check it and I will call for groceries. I think my cats somehow got the door open so perhaps the seal needs fixing.
Herceptin is Today, washing up some stuff to wear, think I will wear the pink shirt, got a couple of washers going for that. Wee washer for the new shirt, think I will go for the pink one.
No idea about food other than a frozen meat pie or two, I will have to see, all food left is in the freezer not defrosted. I can also see chicken and rice, chicken from a can of course and various dry seasoning, Option two is the chicken and rice but boil up the rice in diced tomatoes and a tsp or two of garlic powder. I will see.
Hope all have a good day, in pockets for anyone who needs me.
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I was able to go camping for several days. It was nice and cool up there.
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mkestral, glad you enjoyed camping and lovely pictures.
Everything went well with Herceptin. It is still warm here, humidex is moderate at 93. I did wear my evaporative scarf under wig, used bandanna on my wrist and of course the neck fan, I was quite comfortable, spent a little time outside while waiting for my Paratransit to take me home.
I am planning on a couple of small burgers and do not feel like cooking. Fridge is still cool so I am wondering if all is well and just a sealing sort of issue when it closed the night it was open. I will buy groceries to replace the stuff that was lost. This morning it was 2 mini potpies with some garlic mayo, not exciting but that is fine. Had some cheese and gingerale at the chemo so that was good.
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@mara51506 - What a terrible experience with your fridge. I'd cry too if I had all that you had to deal with re your fridge and brother and sister-in-law absences. Sending a hug and hope all is working out, even if gradually.
@cookie54 - Thanks so much for the good wishes re my liver biopsy. I really appreciate them.
@mkestrel - What beautiful pictures! Thank you for posting them. That must have been so nice to spend that time there for those few days. I can only wish. I'm also always struck by how much your area looks similar to some parts of Washington also. Just lovely.
Well I got through the liver biopsy. Everyone was very nice, but it was not particularly pleasant and I would not want to have to do it again. I hope none of you ever have to do it either; don't wish it on others any more than myself. I did feel a lot of the poking and prodding and the sedation really made me feel bummed out through the whole thing. I just kept feeling like I just didn't want to be there and why were they doing this and why were they doing that, and I thought they said it wouldn't hurt, etc. I expected pretty much what I had had with a bone biopsy over 2 years ago, but it was different and they swear they gave me the same drugs. Then I realized that the bone biopsy had been in anticipation of starting the Verzenio and Faslodex, i.e. I wasn't taking it yet. With this biopsy, I've got the Verzenio and Faslodex in my system and am wondering if that made a difference. Not in terms of a dangerous interaction, but just in the overall experience; so much more fatigued too, in addition to that real downer feeling the drugs gave me. Oh well. Actually, I don't have any real ongoing pain, just a little "day after" soreness, and there are no signs of any complications, so things went well in that regard, and I am glad for it. Many thanks to all of you who wished me well. I took your good wishes with me, and I know they helped and even though this is all "virtual", and not in person, I didn't feel nearly as alone as I would have if I didn't have everyone here.
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@threetree I'm glad your biopsy is over with, it did not sound pleasant at all, particularly feeling bummed/down but of course the pain, too. Oof. Thank you for sharing your experience here, and know that so many of us are sending you love and support. ❤️
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Mara Well yea that is weird with the fridge but glad it's cool now! Glad your infusion went well and your weren't too hot traveling there. Looking forward to Friday here when we get a break in this humidity.
Threetree Glad that's behind you now and it's definitely something we all would like to avoid! Hope they are able to gather some good info from it.
mkestrel Wow what beautiful scenery, glad you were able to enjoy a little camping.
So the eye saga continues, now my MO want me to see an neuro opthamologist.I guess she's being super cautious but honestly who feels like adding another doc to my list. It was only one episode but I guess I will make an appt to be safe. I'm sure I won't get in for months anyhow. Hope you all are having a decent day and have a peaceful evening.
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Mara, so glad the fridge issue is/was minor. Sorry you lost all that food.
Cookie, I get occasional "floaters" in my eyes. They go away on their own but sometimes takes a while. One time it was like someone dropped a net over the eye. It was scary and I went in and had it checked, but it was the same issue, and it went away on its own. My opthomologist says with my meds these things will happen but do check them out if it is large. I have a freckle on one iris that he watches carefully, but so far it has not changed. It doesn't affect my eyesight. My cataract surgery was three years ago and I am still doing well.
Wow—it's only 56° right now—brrr! It is also raining with a flash flood warning. No problem with flooding for where we live as long as we don't go out. I just got a grocery order and am staying in.
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Saddened by the news of more beautiful amazing women passing. Every day brings a new reality of this destructive disease.💔
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My friend that I spoke of with MBC, and was put on Hospice, died today. She was diagnosed MBC in 2007 or 2008. Bone-only for several years. Went to liver in 2019 or so. Went on Hospice July 20 and gone July 30. POA told me her last scans a month ago were stable. I am still unsure what went wrong, but it doesn't matter now. May she Rest in Peace.
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@candy-678 Candy, I'm so sorry to hear of your friends passing. May her beautiful soul rest in eternal peace.Big comforting hugs your way.❤️
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@cookie54 - Very sorry to hear that you have to continue to pursue the eye issue. I guess your doctor is just covering all the bases. I feel like @intolight, i.e. that it can be the meds and some of these things just come and go. You have to check these things out though of course, and get to a place where you are comfortable with what you decide to do. Sending lots of good wishes for a real good outcome with this.
@sf-cakes - Thanks so much for your nice comment and for all of the good wishes and support. I was happy to share my experience with the hope that others might be able to benefit from it at some point. I had found the stories others told me about their liver biopsy experiences very, very helpful.
@candy-678 - Candy, I am so very sorry to read about your friend. Sending my sincere sympathies and a hug.
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@candy-678 Sorry for your loss. What a mind-blowing story. It seems like cancer just blows up quickly in some people like your friend or exbrnxgrl after years of stability. It's a sad day with both their deaths.
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@candy-678 I am sorry to hear about the passing of your friend. Sincere condolences to you and her family and friends. It always hurts…
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So am having some insomnia, not unusual with Herceptin and that is fine.
Fridge is fine, apparently the gasket, the vinyl stuff holding the door shut wore off the bottom which caused the door to open up after I shut it. Easily repaired. Ordered more stuff, 30 eggs, some sour cream, not going crazy on different sauces, sticking to queso and sour cream and my dry seasonings, a couple of different bowls like the queso bowl and a mexican bowl, more tortilla chips and regular queso and one tube of the sour cream and lime. No other stuff picked up at this point, will show up around two. I set up my own payments as well, pay 20 bucks every two weeks over 6 weeks. Also got have a credit balance on the account and figured out that I still would not have interest instead of taking a big chunk of my budget, get rewards and lower the cost of delivery. Means do not shop again til all paid off OR get my butt to a store if I feel I am missing anything. In between. I also remember I have no butter or garlic spread so went back in and added those. Sour cream allows me to make a noodle dish creamy without milk.
Laundry is on the go in two washers in the tub, cloths and towels in one machine, shirt in the other machine. I did discover that when I dried my yoga capris, they actually shrank up and were initially difficult to pull on, eventually got them on though and they have since stretched. No more dryer. With regard to the clothes I really do not like much, the skorts etc, I highly doubt that I will keep the skorts, may keep the shirts as they are nice enough, may need to get tanks that offer more modesty, I am not a big fan of vnecks. No more buying anything any more anyway.
I do have a double big mac in the fridge to add to meals for now so using rice, chipotle beans and the beef. Tear up the beef, add the beans and rice and essentially just send some heat through on a high heat frypan with a tsp of garlic, tsp sour cream and onion seasoning and any other seasoning to add some flavour. I have to say losing the groceries in the fridge has been a bit of a blessing since I was getting overwhelmed or buying duplicates I was adding to it, I have a long way to go before I run out of food when it comes to frozen.
I hope all have a good day, in pockets for all and waiting to hear about scans, treatments or other stuff as well. I feel pretty good so will enjoy meals and restocking, not too much food coming at once and surprisingly nothing for the freezer.
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