My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Well, I did call SIL and she said no treadmill today but probably this weekend she thought so will keep my fingers crossed. She also complained that my old mobile walker in the garage is taking up room so I told her to get rid of it. If they bring it back, will put it out on garbage day or a donation place that could just pick it up. I never liked it because my feet would get tangled in the wheels. I also have to lift it and carry it up several stairs. Not interested canes and walking sticks are enough for me and not walking outdoors anyway anymore, would need to be indoors for me to be comfortable. I will make sure house is clean, corner at end of couch is cleared out so there should be enough room. I am excited to get it back. Just need half an hour a day or so and I imagine that my leg strength would improve greatly. I am also glad to admit to myself outdoor walking other than to bus stops if I take a normal bus would be about it.
I also told her that the shopping trip is unncessary, better go out for a coffee or something to eat if we want to visit. My brother is 57 this year and works hard, he might as well take the night off. If there was something I needed from Costco, I am sure they would pick it up.
I will also say, the beans, pasta, queso and tortilla chip dish made two meals today and they were both really good and I enjoyed them. Super filling, did have a few M&Ms peanut after and they were good too.
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Had a strange medical appointment. Today I saw the ortho-oncologist who told me that the new 4 cm lesion on my hip is no big deal. I said it was a big deal to me. He said all I need to do is get a hip replacement if I want to end the pain and then maybe have the hip radiated after the replacement. He also thought I was in no risk of fracturing my right femur even though that is what the MRI radiologist wrote.
My oncologist had taken me off Ibrance in anticipation of an emergency type of surgery. Now I have to see a different orthopedist on October 18 to discuss a hip replacement. She said I can go back on Ibrance for another few weeks. I felt very annoyed with the ortho-onco. How can cancer progression in a Stage 4 person not be a big deal? He said no biopsy now-that could be done as part of a hip replacement.
I've spent the last week so stressed thinking I might have a "spontaneous fracture" at any time and trying to get my home prepared for me coming back after surgery and/or rehab. I don't know if I trust this person's opinion but he is highly qualified. I thought I was going to get an action plan today-instead he seemed very blase about everything.
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Well, I'm kinda bummed. I've been watching one of the incisions on my ankle that first had a little red spot, then a little bigger, then almost nothing - you know, just enough uncertainty that you're not really sure it's a problem. Well, tonight, I'm sure it's a problem. I'm going see if I can send a pic to my orthopedic, and hopefully get a scrip for an antibiotic. He's not in the office closest to my house, so if that doesn't work I guess I'm going to go see my PCM (still over an hour away). When I broke my ankle 12 years ago, I ended up with a wound vac. I really don't want to need that again.
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@chicagoan That really does sound very confusing. I hope everything is straightened out for you and a coherent treatment plan going ahead. I also think our doctors should be careful not to be dismissive of our concerns when we have to live in our own bodies.
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Good early morning ladies. @chicagoan Well that's gotta be frustrating as all hello. Stress takes such a darn toll, too. I'm not sure what qualifies as true progression, do they need more than one site to consider it such? I don't know. Time for another opinion? I do know that the radiologist report some of the "things" they see that half the time the MO doesn't. I just don't have a lot of faith in findings. Kinda take them with a grain of salt. However, I see how you wanted to move forward with everything and get back on the road again, so to speak. I'm sorry for this mixed news, fear and just plain unfairness.
@mara51506 I thoroughly enjoy your sharing daily rituals. Guess we won't hear from you as much if you finally receive your treadmill. lol. Just kidding. Actually make sure not to over do it. That "bowl" sounded so good. I see that different types of bowls are very popular at restaurants. My DD bought the "fixins" for a gourmet chicken noodle soup. I pulled the chicken off a rotisserie chicken and followed directions. DH and I ate two tablespoons and it tasted like we ate a shaker full of salt. I tried to tone it down with chicken broth that was low sodium, to no avail. Gee bet the armadillo, raccoons and other critters enjoyed it. DH threw it over the fence into the woods. What a waste of money.. We love Dale's seasoning and found it in a reduced sodium receipe bottle. It's great in veggie beef soup, steaks, etc.
@???? Gee, there goes my brain again. I don't want to lose this post so I just wanted to wish you the best on scans today. In your pocket!
Today I noticed some improvement from the injection. Maybe I need a few days for it to really kick in. I'll take it, happily. The headache is gone and my vision is not quite as blurry. Like others have shared, I don't work just want to read a good book, garden and and be as independent as possible.
Saying good night and in everyone's pockets for all your needs.
Laurel
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@irishlove Oh, you will hear from me anyway. I am looking forward to the treadmill being back myself. My posts will probably be happier, who knows. I am sorry your recipe was so salty, never tastes good because of that. I do find that dry seasoning is much higher in sodium so when I want extra flavour, I tend to use liquid stuff like salad dressing, sour cream and flavoured mayo, I measure it as well. My BP can generally be low but get higher when at hospital appointments. Only thing is that when I do not have enough sodium, the muscle cramping in my body sucks the big one so have to stay close to what is recommended.
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Chicagoan- I understand how you would be confused/disappointed in the ortho onc appointment. That is strange that he seemed so blase. A 4cm tumor is nothing to take so blase, I would think. I will be interested in hearing about your Oct 18 appointment with the other ortho.
Another thing, would the cancer in the hip cause the bone to be brittle??? As I am sure you know, during hip replacement they drill into the femur to place the rod portion. I would be concerned that the cancer could cause problems with the drilling. I don't have cancer in the hip- not that we have seen on MRI's anyway- but I question if my bones would be unstable for hip replacement, as I have bone mets anyway (just not in the hip area). My doc just says I have osteoarthritis and need a hip replacement. But I have documented bone mets in the pelvis and lumbar spine.
Is there another ortho onc you can see to get a second opinion? I don't know if I trust this guy's opinion.
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@chicagoan - I agree, that was a strange appointment that you had. The whole thing does sound confusing, and like you say, the doctor is supposedly highly qualified and should know what he's talking about. I think more opinions are definitely in order, and I am so, so sorry that you have to go through all of this! On the one hand it sounds like a "relatively easy" (yeah, right) fix if all that is needed is the hip replacement, but that doesn't sound quite solid, as you pointed out. I wish I had some expert advice to offer, but I don't, so am offering what I can: good wishes and hugs.
@seeq - I'd be bummed too - not fair! Hopefully an antibiotic will do the trick. Fingers crossed for you.
@mara51506 - Here's hoping that the saga of the treadmill gets resolved soon. This week-end would be great and worth the wait, I would think. It sounds like it will really help you out a lot.
@irishlove - Oh, what a shame about that soup that you were so looking forward to! Just another one of those "live and learn" things, and you're right and at least maybe the animals got to enjoy it, so it wasn't a complete waste. I'm the odd one here and they have even encouraged me to add salt, as I am always low with the sodium and like @mara51506, I get symptoms. I don't like adding it frankly, but if I don't I can have real problems. Even when I add it, my numbers are still low, just not as low and I don't run into too much trouble. I think low sodium was part of the reason I fell a couple of years ago and fractured my shoulder and a couple of ribs. My balance was off as it sometimes is with the low sodium, and I tripped over a sprinkler head. I also get bad muscle aches/cramps, shooting pains in my head, a overall weak feeling, and then those balance issues. I don't know why it trends low, but it does.
Well I'm off to see the oncologist in a couple of hours. He wants to discuss my recent scans (which were essentially stable), and to especially address this liver mets issue and what we might do about it and when. That part I am not looking forward to at all, but it has to be done.
Hope everyone is enjoying the new season and has a good day. Wishing all with current troubles well, and I am thinking of everyone here in the living room. What a great group!
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I love all the chatter here. It warms up my day!
@chicagoan I agree with the others. Those are confusing comments from an expert. I have no knowledge or experience to add to your decision, but I would seek a second opinion if possible. I have never done this, but now sounds like a good time. It sounds like he is only concerned with the hip pain and sort of compartmentalizes the mets. But we are a whole body!
@irishlove It's hard to spend precious energy on cooking only to have to throw it out. As we retire, we have more time to experiment with cooking yet less tolerance of the outcome, at least that is the case in my life. Hope you are feeling better.
@mara51506 My DH says it is national pancake day so we are having pancakes tonight (with eggs and fruit, etc.) Not as nutritious as your meals, but as he will help with the cooking I'll take it!
We had our first low temperature in the 30s last night although it is supposed to reach mid 70s today. The Rockies are gearing up for winter! Sigh…
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@threetree It would be nice to get the treadmill back soon. This weekend would be good, I can still do my walking on the spot in order to move arms and legs at the same time but the actual walking would be helpful too.
@intolight Happy Pancake day. I would make them myself but sadly nothing to make them with. Enjoy your pancakes. As far as cooler weather, planning to get ice melt earlier as opposed to later, need to make sure I can get up and down the steps safely. Property manager does eventually get to it but not soon enough for me. I was looking on Amazon but their pricing is ridiculous when Walmart offers 10.00 for the ice melt.
I just woke up, that is OK. I did actually do some PT exercises, ankles, rotations both ways, pointing my feet outwards and then in toward me and some powerful bridge poses, managed to really lift my body. 10 of each, I do every day or two. I know the bridge pose is the one that would let me launch my leg up if I fell, ankle strength helps keep me upright if I bump into something as well, better reaction time to avoid a fall. Did a final leg stretch over both edges of the bed, it was wonderful and an arm stretch to the sides as well. At some point, will look into lap bands to get some arm exercises. My arm strength is lacking a bid.
Got laundry to do up and planning to pull out the litter box to grab the litter mat. Will put it in a mesh bag to contain loose bits as well, I will simply shake out most of anythinghave to call cancer centre, they called and have a different appointment time for my appointment with MO than my own printed schedule does. I hope my time is correct but need the correct info. Will call at one when they are answering phones after lunch.
Edit, got the appointment confirmed and that is good. Trip booked on Paratransit as well.
Not sure what I want to have for meals. Debating an egg, ham and cheese tortilla. I can add egg and other ingredients in the microwave and simply put on an unheated tortilla. Just need to whisk eggs so no explosions happen. Nothing too out there. Later, make up some of the noodles, frozen penne mixed with the ramen, weird combo but I do not care and add some new beans to it. Option two sees me open one of my cans of diced tomato or a jar of sauce that includes garlic and other veggies. Third option is taking a tortilla, some of the tomato sauce, add shredded cheese and a bean spread by pulverizing the beans and using as a spread. I will see later.
I hope everyone has a great day, in pockets for those who need me and sending some legos for people who annoy you to step on.
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Chicagoan - hard to believe an ortho-onc would blow things off the way he did. I would be confused and unhappy. And then having to wait for another ortho appointment. Here and ready for pocket duty!
Irish - cooking soup takes time and then to have it be inedible - what a bummer. Many years ago I followed a recipe to the T for a brined turkey for Thanksgiving. Damn thing was so salty ended up pitching it.
I hope everyone enjoys this return to summer. Supposed to hit 84 tomorrow. Who turns on the AC at the end of September in Wisconsin???? Grandsons have football games tomorrow and thankfully they are at 9 and 10:45 am. Should still be comfortable for them to play and us to watch. This is the 4th weekend of games. First weekend we all wore our winter coats - lol. Temp was in low 50s with cloudy skies and wind. I sometimes think Mother Nature has MBC🙄.
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CT scanner broke (it wasn't me, I swear!) so just bone scan done today, CT rescheduled to next week. First time I've had to reschedule in over 5 years, so not upset. But just wasted all that anxiety over nothing, lol.
Chicagoan, I think a 4cm met is definitely something to urgently attend to! So sorry you had that blase doctor visit.
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I did make the egg sandwich, found out aout 7 eggs out of the 30 pack I got a while ago were bad, they floated in the water. I have 12 eggs to work on, now 10. I did use two eggs whipped up, added leftovers from canned ham and some bacon bits. I also added some plant butter and garlic spread to the eggs, heated for 4 mins. I should have fried the bacon bits a little I think. Microwaved all in the microwave. Took the tortilla and put some plain mayo, put the egg mix in and folded it as well as I could. I can say, it did taste very good but was messy as it did not stay together. Next time, use one egg as the tortillas are average size, not large.
My dinner meal is just going to be the rest of the pasta and ramen mix, I will figure what else I need or want to have with it to dress it up.
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@chicagoan - I'm not sure how I missed your post. Maybe we were posting at the same time? The dismissive attitude would be particularly annoying. I wonder if he thought it was no big deal because the hip replacement would resolve it. Still, not very compassionate-especially after you'd been scared into thinking it was an immediate fracture risk.
@irishlove - tip from a friend of mine - if your soup is too salty (haha - that came out as 'if your soul is too salty' first) cook a potato in it then throw away the potato . The potato absorbs the excess salt.
@mara51506 - maybe you could scramble up a few eggs and bag them up in portions in the freezer. I was thinking about that with your ground beef, too. Sometimes, when I'm cooking for just the two of us, I'll cook the whole pound of ground beef with basic seasoning, then use half and freeze half. I actually do that with pasta, too. It's nice because it makes the next meal quicker. I think you have limited freezer space, but it sucks to have to throw food away.
@goldensrbest - lol, we just cooled down to a high of 84. I hope Fall is here to stay.
@intolight - brr. I do not miss 30 degree anything.
Good news. The orthopedic called in a scrip for antibiotics. I'll see him next week as scheduled. 🙂
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@seeq Cooking and freezing are good ideas. In my case, freezer is usually full of stuff so meal prep has to be fridge. I keep meat pies and some frozen stuff in there. My freezer is small as well. I do need to use up more stuff in there. I usually just cook normal stuff up and store in fridge to use within 3 to 4 days. Eggs being bad were my own fault because I put stuff on top of them. The dozen eggs I am going through now should be fine. Meats are already kept frozen along with cheese etc. Need to put containers in freezer to organize better though.
Nice sleep, got up earlier in case my treadmill shows up. Not holding my breath as there are other ways to exercise. Got a lovely stretch of arms and legs whilst in bed. Just take legs and pull them to the edge, arms over my head and to the side. I do the other bridge poses and ankle work every other day. Found an exercise video on Facebook reals as well that encourages finding more balance and moving legs in different ways as well, will need to look it up as I cannot remember the name of it. Cannot forget Paul Eugene and my pacing the floor, would move stuff to the side to create a sort of bowling alley vibe, although I can get dizzy turning around, it does not happen while watching my feet. As far as the treadmill, it will come back when it does.
Got laundry I need to do which of course I enjoy, I find the wash area less stanky now that I removed the sock from the drain. Metal drain cover keeps everything moving. Need to put a tab in the toilet tank, got those to make it easier to clean and brush, I also got the click gels too but think that may be overkill so use one at a time. Need a deep clean so blowing dust out of stuff, sweeping stuff up as I go, got a nice dustpan I can put my foot behind and send it through. I do think a broom and a decent dustpan with a microfibre mop are all I need
I am not sure about food, likely use beans, pasta of some sort in one meal. Option 2 sees me using the magic bullet to pulverize one or two eggs, throw in some green beans, add some cornbread mix to thicken it and bake up some egg bites around 375 for 12 mins in the oven. I will post. I could make up some KD noodles in the regular box, keep in the fridge and serve by thirds with different ingredients or bad some shredded cheese on top for a heartier meal. Many different options of food to have today.
I do hope all have a good day, in pockets for all as well. I just need to keep up with chores and go from there. I am tired out already. Thinking the broom and dustpan are all I need to use on my floor with a quick mop. Less expensive, works better.
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I wound up ordering a cheeseburger deluxe meal. It comes with free tomato addition, put some extra lettuce and mayo, no pickle. Medium fries and apple juice instead of pop, just was not feeling cooking this morning. Expensive but 15.00 was already paid for from budget booster sites, mostly mobile games but I am good with that.
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Hey ladies, catching up today. Been a crazy week as now my mil has entered hospice. She is ready to meet her maker and we are trying to keep her at peace.I was always blessed to have the sweetest mil around and I will surely miss her.
@chicagoan Agree with all here that dismissive attitude seems a bit blase' and I'm definitely not a fan of it. These doc's need to be on the other side of the scalpel to fully understand. Nevertheless we are all in your pocket for this hip journey to go smoothly. hugs.
@irishlove Yup the potato trick is the key to draw out the salt. My you next pot of soup be a winner!
@sf-cakes Ugh how annoying but agree that's a pretty good span of never having to reschedule. In your pocket for stable.
@mara51506 Hope your treadmill is on the way to your house sooner than later.
@seeq Fingers crossed that nothing is brewing with your ankle.
@intolight Seems like it should be hot cocoa day for you…brrrr Wonder what kind of winter it will be!
@threetree Hope your MO appt went well.
Signing off, hope I didn't forget anyone with my scrambled brain lol.Hi and hugs to all here.
Have a good weekend❣️
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I heard from SIL, they will likely be here after dinner. I decided to get anotherburger meal, junior chicken and mcdouble no pickles. Wanted a quick meal to give time for me to be available for DB. Hope he brings a son with him to help him get it in.
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Hello ladies, just checking in to see how everybody’s doing, I think of you every day. I find myself growing tired more and more. I feel like I’m running out of steam all been going the last few months. I don’t think things any good at all since my mom died and Gabbie was diagnosed. Trying to keep a good head on me but it’s very hard when you feel pretty rotten yourself to support someone else. I’m sorry about any progression or any problems you’ve been having. I’m sending good thoughts to all of you visit again soon.
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Mel, it was good to see your post. I am sure you are tired after all that you are doing. Prayers are going out for you and Gabby everyday.
Mara, did you get your treadmill? Hoping your DB brought it by with help.
I didn't feel well at all today with a headache and stomachache so I just made egg on toast for us for dinner.
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Hi, hello, mighty good to "see" so many of you. Mel, I'm sorry you have little energy to deal with so much. I pray you find some happier moments to share with your sweet Gabbie and the rest of the family. Theo needs a hello and pat on the head from me, too.
I'm so very happy to report that I "did" it. Ok, what did I do? Gardening half an hour, no backache. Too hot though, so had to quit. Went back at it a bit later moving planters and laying mulch with DH. Another half an hour and no backache. Pushed my luck to shop with DD and DGD, which I truly do not enjoy and sure enough came home tired, but no backache. I hope the meds last for sometime to come. I'll get that front yard looking great soon. It's been raining and we are flooding. Nothing too severe, but on the look out for T.S. Imelda.
Cookie, I am sorry to hear of your MIL heading into hospice. What a sweetheart she must be to have been loved by you and your mentioning how much you'll miss her. Not everyone has such a great relationship and lovely things to say about in-laws. I never had the chance to meet mine, but I just know I would have loved them as they did a great job with their son.
Sending my thoughts to all these lovely gals and in pockets for all your needs.
Laurel
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@irishlove-It's so encouraging that you were able to garden and go shopping! Hope that the pain remains at bay.
@micmel-You've had quite a time of it. Praying that Gabby gets better and never has to deal with the cancer again. And that you will be able to enjoy life again after this very difficult period.
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@cookie54 I am sorry to hear about your MIL being in hospice, I am in your pocket sending support to you and your family.
@micmel good to see you, I can definitely empathize with the exhaustion day to day. Even living on my own, I find it hard to keep up. I got tired yesterday when using the telescopic duster, so dumb. You've had a lot to deal with Gabby and your mom on top of the cancer. In your pocket as well.
@irishlove I am happy to read you were able to work on your outdoor space for so long without pain and then have the stamina to go shopping, sounds like a great day.
@intolight No treadmill yesterday, got a message from SIL she got behind in chores, she asked if 11 or 1130 today is OK. If it comes good, if not, not going to feel upset. Training my mind not to be depressive. If it gets past noon, I will check on it.
Not too much on the agenda for me, need to book another Paratransit ride, I have my regular Herceptin. Love being able to book rides online, very handy.
I did set an alarm today to be sure I had time to clear dishes and do a quick sweep and mop as well. Need to do that even if DB and SIL may or may not come. Need to also look into non treadmill activity as well in case they don't show. SIL has said DB is working a lot so am working on more patience. I will post if it arrives.
Still a warm end of September. My house is extra warm because the building has turned on the heat. It is automatically turned on by October and will stay on til May or June I think. Lots of fans around for me and of course the air conditioner. I also left a window fan in the living room window and it is going as well.
Laundry and bringing out some garbage bags to my bin outside is in order, I have run out of room to store my garbage so will keep using the bin outside provided it is empty, easy enough to hop out back, pick up garbage for takeout next time it goes. I am also trying out something that cleans the toilet with a disk in the toilet tank. It smells wonderful and just ran the brush around, should keep the whole thing squeaky clean more easily than before.
Not sure re food, may just use one of the fettucine penne and put a meat pie on top, later could have a simple egg sandwich, heated in a mini griddle. Just the one egg and some mayo. I will have to see what I want to have of course. Not feeling a bunch beans.
I do hope everyone has a good day, in pockets for all who are feeling exhausted, dealing with family stress and support and pockets for all of us. I am hopeful DB will show, if not, will keep asking week to week. If they do show, it will be a matter of getting used to it again.
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Woo Hoo, treadmill is back,I am so excited, have to put on some socks and my running shoes and give it a try. I am so fricken happy. No cranky stuff which I thought I would get. They also brought back my walker with seat, not sure what to do with it. For now it is fastened with bunji cords out back. I do not like it as I get my feet tripped up in the wheels, cane works better for balance though and still feel no need to walk outside. 20 to 30 mins per day should be a good start and still want on the spot walking. Cats don't remember it from before, sniffing to make sure it will not come to get them.
Did my first 5 min walk at 2.5 mph which feels quick to me. No need to over do it for myself. I will say though it is easy enough to walk on, is difficult to push the part in to bring the track back up but just need to practice. Thinking 5 mins or a song for now, do not think a full half hour is in my near future. Also, runners I am wearing feel weird on my feet. Also conscious of more ffoot lift as my dragging feet could easily be a problem. Back to it.
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So notes, obviously, walking on the treadmill even at 2.5 miles per hour is no joke, got about 1000 steps from a couple of songs. It is difficult to put up the track but getting it done. First week or two will be 2 songs or sessions on the treadmill then move up to 3 sessions a day. If I need more steps, can do my walking on the spot or doing Paul Eugene standing but for now, listening to my body as far as the treadmill goes. Small bits throughout a day is still progress and more than I have done in such a long time.
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Mara, you are so encouraging. Keep it up!
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@intolight Yes, I feel happy my treadmill is back, DB and SIL cleaned it up nicely. Still planning smaller sessions like a song, take a break and increase the number of sessions. Being on it also encourages me to do more and increase exercise. Need to do more armwork with my bed ladder, pulls my body upright from laying down. That will help with putting the track back up into folded position, that was tough for me.
I also have the treadmill pulled down as well and can shoose to walk for a couple minutes only too. I also have swapped shoes for my sneakers, don't find the running shoes overly comfortable. Be quicker to get in and out of them too.
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Early morning for me, have an appointment with MO this morning to go over resOnults of CT scan on Sept 16. I am sure they are fine since it has been 2 weeks and not called into the office since then but will post results of the scan anyway.
As I said, early morning for me. Going to have a meat pie for breakfast I think or possibly my last queso bowl, I bought 3 on my last grocery shop. Later, will probably have an egg sandwich, once I have eaten up the eggs, put together another shop. Yesterday, I took the frozen penne alfredo and chicken and poured an egg over it. I whipped the egg and added some chipotle mayo and baja sauce to the egg while whipping. My microwave is 700 watt so added 2 mins to the cooking time. It was good. I also have an idea of making Kraft Dinner and adding some tomato sauce with veggies in it and ground beans as well, use the KD cheese sauce too. Might be good.
Once I get home and have had a meal, will work in some walking. I feel more comfortable in my regular sneakers vs actual running shoes. Sneakers slip on vs running shoes, I can also leave the treadmill pad down when I get home as well and hop on for the small sessions. I've not done much in exercise for a while, I enjoy Paul Eugene senior gold which I have done standing and doing the arms or sitting and doing it all. Never done the whole program, I have a shorter 10 mins that I do. I will see when I get home.
I also will have laundry to do when home as well and some sweeping, boy this building is HOT when building heat is on but still got fans and AC coming from the bedroom so my place is comfy.
I hope everyone has a good day and in pockets for all who need me, in my own pocket to keep up the momentum of the short bursts of exercise throughout the day. Also pulled up Leslie Sansone as well, I use the pace of the music but also thinking of pulling out the walking sticks and add more of an arm workout.
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