My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Threetree - sending Happy Birthday greetings but also condolences on progression. My wishes for you are many more years on your next line of treatment with tolerable SEs. Prayers too🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻.
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I echo what goldensrbest said above. You have closed another year in which you have beaten the beast. Treat yourself to something wonderful today.
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Happy Birthday, Threetree! Hope you have a wonderful day.
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@goldensrbest , @eleanora, @chicagoan - It was really nice to wake up to all of your very kind birthday wishes. It made me smile and feel better than I had been. Thank you very much!
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Happy birthday @threetree , sending good wishes and support on the progression.
I did sleep, finally went to bed instead of falling asleep on couch. Slept fairly well. Still have a nagging cough though not as often and it did not wake me up. No calls to wake me up either. Still working on an earlier bedtime to grab all sleep needed.
No chores though will be pulling out my suitcase used in last hospital stay to hold personal stuff, organizing movies to put on either a tablet or just a spare phone. May also ask for outside food once allowed to eat, I will have to see. Also wondering on how long need to be on steroids, check on the ability to take rabeprazole and digestive enzymes once I get home. These are the things I wonder about. I also want to do the laps around the halls as soon as allowed to walk, only difference is cane and sneakers on my feet.
DB, SIL and witnesses need to get together before surgery for POA set up and will. The doctor indicated that since no one is officially set up, my younger brother could get a call and that would be bad as we are estranged after a bad relationship. I also need to set up older DB to handle finances should the need arise.
No real emotions yet towards surgery, no real fear either which is much different than the last time I had surgery. I posted all the info on Facebook as I do if there are updates. Got good support here, in real life and from friends on Facebook as well.
In the meantime, there are more appointments to go through and scans again, pre admit clinic and different stuff, once those are done, get about a week between both appointments and a week before the actual surgery. Can clean house before.My SIL wants to clean and get rid of stuff but want to go through what we are looking at and weather I use them. I keep old phones and laptops and do other stuff with them as I am a bit of a techie, enjoy using things for different purposes. Got 4 laptops, main one I use and others that I like to experiment on. I think all the organization stuff can be done post surgery. I may also have to do without wigs until staples come out if they use those again. Plan to trim remaining bio hair too
In meantime, laundry, keeping sinks clear and a clean bathroom are the most important. Good meals would be good as well, love my air fryer, have not made use of the instant pot a lot yet but that will come with time. Figure Time needs to be broken down. Take care of will and POA before surgery, once home , take care of tidying. Want SIL to focus on herself and family as well, they are busy.
Not sure about meals today, eaten up meat pies. I did do up some crisped black beans done in garlic salt and sour cream and onion, put those in a bowl and added warmed queso and some doritos and tostios crumbled. They were quite delicious. The microwaved eggs and meat pie done together was quite good as well. I have also started taking a spoon of peanut butter as dessert after dinner. Satisfies the sweet tooth vs chocolate. I also plan to ask for meals from DB to be brought in when visiting. I will have to see about all that.
Anyway, I do hope all have a good day, in pockets for all of us and anyone with family needing as well. My cat accidentally just set off the lifeline alert, had to advise the people, Kind of funny.
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@threetree Happy Birthday. I hope this day is full of blessings and joy.
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@mara51506 - Thanks so much for the birthday wishes, Mara. They're nice to have.
I'm glad too that you finally got a better sleep, but am sorry to hear that that cough is taking it's time getting out of your life. I hope that recovery speeds up for you!
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So I am doing up an experiment, had a frozen veggie stir fry, heat up in microwave first. Then pulled out air fryer and added spoonful of Stagg chili with multi beans, heating up on lower temp, was going to add an egg but unsure right now, put rest of chili in fridge. I will see how it turns out and decide seasoning later. If not too filling, could do a simple half english muffin and make a garlic bread on side. Will post if a good combo.
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@intolight - Oh, I really do appreciate your wonderful wishes for blessings and joy today, and I absolutely wish you the same, even if it not your birthday. We need these all day, every day of the year!😊
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I'm going to try to get to everyone, and I will inevitably forget someone, forgive me in advance!
@threetree let me join the chorus of happy birthday wishes for you! I'm just going to hang out in your pocket for a while as you navigate next steps in treatment.
@intolight I'm also going to be in your pocket, I think I might make the same decision you did, at least to try the chemo and see. But it's not appealing, like you said, who would WANT this. My experience with chemo was rough, but it was the harsh, "curative" kind, and I'm really hoping yours will be much more tolerable for you.
@mara51506 And definitely in your pocket, too, for all your upcoming appointments and for surgery. Getting all your affairs in order, regarding the DNR, etc is a good idea anyway, so that your family and doctors are clear about what YOUR wishes are. I felt better, prior to my spine surgery, knowing all this was in place.
@cookie54 hope you are doing well, and that Buster continues to enjoy the tree! Thank you for your sweet words of comfort regarding my DH. Three years, it's unreal.
@goldensrbest how's the snow dog? Wonderful to hear your DH's polyps were benign!!
@chicagoan may your hip continue to heal well! I think you said you were standing out in the cold for many hours…brrr, I have become wimpy living in the San Francisco bay area, I now complain when it gets down into the low 40's.
@mkestrel let's hope the Trodelvy works really really well, since it's taking your hair. Phooey. I hated losing my hair, and my current hair is sort of hil-HAIR-ious, as it's pretty thin. Good thing about colder weather is cool hats.
@shanagirl thank you for lighting a candle for my DH! I love your posts, and I always imagine you snuggled up with your sweet dogs, having coffee.
@micmel always good to see you here, and so much love coming your way, for you and for your beautiful daughter.
@irishlove how are you doing? Love your "late night" posts. Didn't you post a while back that one of the "goals" from your treatment team was to "cope better" with illness? I mean, that's completely ridiculous. What does coping better even look like? Not getting sick?? Argh. Hope you can hear me, in your pocket, making wisecracks at whoever wrote this as your goal.
@candy-678 thinking of you, I know you live alone as I do. Do you have any plans for the holidays?
@aprilgirl1 hey you, how are things lately? Miss you!
Lots and lots of love to @eleanora, @tanya_djamila, @tougholdcrow, @wren44, @illimae and everyone who reads along here.
I'm going to try to make a pot roast for the first time in a loooooong time. Chuck roast is no longer "cheap" but I like the idea of having the house smell delicious, and it's a holiday treat. With carrots, parsnips, and potatoes, num-nums. Also bought a lemon panettone cake, which I have eaten most of and now need another! Listening to Diana Krall's Christmas album, it's lovely. Sending peace and love to all ❤️☃️
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sf-cakes- No plans for Christmas here. Just another day. Yes, our Lord came to Earth as a babe to take away the sins of man and I celebrate that. But no family-around-a-table celebration for me. Been that way for several years now.
Happy birthday, threetree!!
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happy birthday three tree.
Mara you’re so on my mind. I’m trying to keep up . I’m sorry for progressions and pain. I care for you all. This disease is so hard . Love to all3 -
@mara51506 sorry to hear that you need surgery, of course nobody wants to hear that but also admire your bravery!You are such a brave resilient woman and I know you will prevail. Will remain cozied up in your pocket through it all❌⭕️
@threetree @intolight My heart is heavy thinking about progression for you both. Continued prayers for strength and healing as you navigate this road ahead. We will all be camped out in your pockets. Big hugs your way❌⭕️❌⭕️
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@threetree Happy Birthday, I hope you were able to to enjoy something special for yourself today. I hope you treated yourself to something yummy!🥳🎂
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@cookie54 I am feeling good about getting the surgery, pre admin appointments and the last CT and MRI again. I think difference for me not having any particular fear is that I am not hopped on on steroids that I was the last time since they were keeping brain swelling down. No steroids yet. Having been through it all before and being right about what will happen helps too. Even if I need radiation, it will be a local area of the brain. Do I want to be in hospital, of course not but I will pack in a tablet full of movies, sneakers to walk around the hospital once given permission to do that.
I also got a text from DB actually checking on how I feel, told him the same but did admit feeling like a burden to him and SIL who are dealing with serious issues but SIL told me on the phone not to worry about her at this point. Worry about myself she said. I appreciated the conversation and I appreciate understanding that when we were not text or talking much, had nothing to do with me, they were dealing with their issue. Taught me not to make assumptions, I do feel closer to them both. I will feel best when the surgery and hospital stay is over and see what happens from there. I still am optimistic that all will turn out well, planning to buzz cut remaining hair, no need for me to look like uncle fester, bio hair looks quite strange so figure it should be safe enough to trim it up before hand.
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Hi all of my sweet friends. I try to picture each of you and wish I could just hug all of you. You are my strength and my courage and my fearless crew that keep one moving forward with hope. I am so blessed to have each of you in my life. Thank you is just not enough to say how I truly feel. Perhaps this is the "coping" that was written into my goals by some unknown.
@threetree Belated Happy Birthday wishes. I hope you had a grand day. May your progression stop and stability re-enter your health. @mara51506 Mara I am amazed at how you plan and deal with life's needs. You think ahead and manage to stay focused on what's to lie ahead. I admire you so much and wishing success with your surgery. You better have a very large pocket for all these gals to climb into! @sf-cakes Your summary of so many of these ladies is wonderful. You sure are a character regarding the response on "Coping". I need more of your sense of humor to guide me thru this journey. But I also know that a piece of your heart is missing this Christmas. He is looking down and loving you from the heavens above.
DH asked our DD to please move back to her camper. She's been here since end of Nov. DGD spends her time in the bedroom up all night creating computer content. Then she sleeps all day , just like her Mom. She does not go to school and frankly, we are beyond stressed out. So DH spoke in a non-judgmental tone, asking for DGD to be in school and DD to find employment, but it didn't land well.
We are just worn down by all the support we give them, financial, meals, cleaning, well sure you understand
I'll miss DGD, (age11) but in reality I never saw her, as she stayed in her room 99 per cent of the time. This situation is complicated . We've contacted many sources who repeat the same phrase, no rights as grandparents as long as child is not being abused or neglected. She's been out of school 2 years now, suppose to be home schooling but Mom has not followed thru. DD's husband is a great young man, but doesn't speak up. Today he did trying to convince his child she must go to school and Mom must get a job. Tomorrow he will take his family home with him. Prayers that our efforts pay off.
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@irishlove I can imagine that conversation was very tough to have and hopefully your son in law can get them home and on a routine again. You are right, you and your DH need more focus on yourselves. Sending you a big hug from your pocket.
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@irishlove I will join you in prayers for your DD situation and that your DSIL can make things work. You deserve better and need support for you with all the physical challenges you are going through. My DD and DGD live with us too but it is entirely different as my DD is an emergency room night nurse and we help care for our DGD when she is at work and/or sleeping. Still, there is an added amount of stress with two generations living together.
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Good afternoon all, slept pretty late but was in bed late, not sure why but will force an early bedtime tonight and tomorrow night for sure. Stop eating by 6pm so better make sure it is a good size dinner.
Nothing on the agenda, got plenty of laundry to do which is always good, floors, sweep and a vacuum. Mop at later date I suppose, need to get cat food for my SIL to give cats while in hospital and that is about it. I told her not to worry about any organization yet because my mind could change on a dime.
Probably air fry a couple of hashbrowns, set timer to 4 mins check the crisp and flip again. My thought is to have hashbrowns, a hot dog cut up and air fried at same time and either an egg or lentils added in, not sure yet. I do have the option of using the air fryer at same time as small griddle since both together use max of 1300 W. That may be helpful to do up an egg and some hash browns and eat up. Later, crispy beans or lentils added in crumbled up chips and use up some queso of my own. Debating a shop from Walmart before surgery, make sure enough eggs and frozen macaroni and beef are in the fridge, meat pies are good too. Will not cost too much. I have a while yet, but think some may be a good idea. I will see what I think.
Anyway, I hope all have a good day. I am in pockets for us all, hopes for good holidays whether with people or spoiling ourselves as well. Not sure what I will have Christmas Eve or Christmas but I will figure it all out.
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Well, it does work to utilize an air fryer and mini griddle. Had 2 hashbrowns, dialed down the time so they came out a little less crispy but not burned from the air fryer, nice texture. Heated an egg in the mini griddle at same time. Let them finish, hash browns in a bowl and took a tortilla and wrapped egg in but ate that with a knife and fork. Added Parm and garlic mayo, not huge amounts but it was really really good. Not sure about a second meal, will wait and see until later.
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@irishlove Geez that’s such a complicated situation to deal with plus your health issues. I’m sorry I can only imagine the added stress it causes in your lives. We love our children and would do anything for them but when lines have been crossed you have to take control of the situation as you are. I will add special daily prayers for your family unity. Also thanks for so eloquently phrasing your love and support from our family here. We feel the same way about you! Big hugs your way❌⭕️❌⭕️
@mara51506 Oh I bet those hash browns were delicious in the air fryer and healthier too! Hope you enjoyed it.
Love and hugs to all here❤️
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@cookie54 Yes the meal was enjoyable for sure, nice to have the ability to use both at once if I should want to. The hashbrowns were good, no burnt sections as I only gave 4 mins on both sides. Egg just looks after itself. The tortilla was good with egg and garlic parm mayo. Yummy.
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Hi sweet ladies. Hope today was good to you. It's cool and windy, but no rain in awhile. I hear it'll be 80 Christmas Day. That sure makes it hard to get into the Christmas spirit.
Thank you all for your support with family stresses. They didn't leave today. Some excuse about it getting too late. Our SIL is doing his best. DD announced she was separating from him. Not sure how that works when they will once again be living together and he pays all the bills. We have to learn to let go. They'll have to find their way.
No doctor appts. for two weeks. Yay!!! Just a video with therapist and a check in with that new case management program. They are pressuring doctors offices to move appts. up. I don't want to lose the GI or Neuro. They both contacted me with concerns. They rec'd medical information that is not up to date. Also rec'd a call from a P.T. group. It's backwards, as I don't need them till after radiation. Plus they were expected to provide a speech pathologist, which they do not have in their employ. Guess I'm not complying with their goals. Probably get a bad report card. lol
In pockets for all your needs and thank you for being here.
Irishlove aka Laurel
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@irishlove Hard to watch family struggle but glad you are providing space for yourself to breathe and glad you have no appointments for a couple of weeks, nice break for sure.
I was woken up by an additional appointment call, just a body CT added onto my second appointment at the hospital on the 30th, call woke me and I in turn woke my SIL. We both sounded pretty groggy but there it is. Made sure they know. I get about another week off of appointments before the surgery date. Once I am all done with appointments, surgery and what
I take no oral contrast and they know already which is good. Then head straight over to another app't pre surgery. Going to bring some granola bars or the peanut butter oat biscuit snacks which I really do enjoy to nosh on after CT finished. Wanted cheese but not trusting the cheese slices stay good long enough out of fridge.
Just doing laundry, looking for different pants to wear as well in the hospital, will be packing my wee bag to come with me, cleaning wallet leaving two credit and health card and that is it. Got to bring chargers and load a tablet or phone with movies I have to alleviate boredom post surgery.
Meals may include air ried hot dogs and peppers from the fridge, mix with some ramen noodles and use the seasoning pack as well. Still have shredded cheese to use as well. So plan is, heat through noodles, add couple of hot dogs, peppers and possible riced veggies and an egg and heat in the air fryer. Have to defrost hot dogs a bit so I can slice through them as I am picturing them cut up into slices. Also debating some beans or lentils being crisped up as well, provide a bit more nutrition. I will post whatever I decide to have.
I do hope all have a good good day, in pockets for all including me.
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So, broke up the ramen noodles while dry, heating in pan, added some white cheddar, sour cream and garlic dry seasonings, put a dollop of chipotle and ranch bacon in the pot too. May just eat up the noodles first. Adding the flavour pack as well or save for another meal, thinking that since I did not add the flavour pack in while in the water, just add a dash of it vs whole pack. Make the air fried hot dogs later and add some egg and lentil later on.
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My New York son just walked in the door—complete surprise. My DH and DD kept it a secret. The tears won't stop. I am beyond blessed!
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So I decided to keep my regular MO appointment on Jan 5. They were going to cancel it but I said would like to see her anyway since surgery is 7th of Jan. She is not in charge of my brain stuff so it would be good to have a normal appointment even though I am aware my chart will show my surgery stuff. My Herceptin will be pushed 6 weeks away.
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@irishlove Hello this afternoon dear sweet friend. I read the struggles that you and DH are dealing with your DD, DGD, and SIL. It stung my heart because It’s hard enough dealing with adult children when difficulties arise regarding boundary issues, but to have to deal with this specifically., Is just NOT an option for you and your husband. Your health, peace, and sense of wellbeing is what is important and I’m so glad dh set that boundary tactfully to them. Your health comes first, always when you just are not physically strong enough to deal with adult children’s lack of consideration crap., I’ve had to deal with some of that also with mine occasionally and sometimes I resent it more because of my own health problems. It’s funny how our whole lives we gave and gave to our children, and when they grow up and don’t take responsibility for their own life situation and become mor emotionally and finanancially needy, i takes it’s toll, @irishlove, and on those occasions I had to speak up and put my foot down. It results in bad feelings, and not talking sometimes but then always resolves itself. A mother always takes on the pain of their daughter and even when the daughter stops talking to you over it, a mother will carry that pain along with the pain the. Daughter is feeling. But it will resolve itself. And yes your DGD needs to be in school and not held up in her room on line all night as an 11 yr old. She’s vulnerable at that age and her mom & dad needs to deal with that, not you and DH. You’ve been there done that, so now take care of you.🩵I will light a candle for you tonight. that’s my way of being in your pocket.🥰
@mara51506 I’m thinking of you and happy you have been managing everything you are dealing with in a positive mindset as well as keeping up with your nutrition every day with your creative ways of getting enough protein. you are amazing dear girl.
@cookie54 Love to you dear Jersey.♥️
@threetree. Belated Happy Birthday wishes.
@candy-678 Yes I agree with you about the meaning of Christmas 🎄 and even though you will be alone and not celebrating with anyone as is every year for you, It is the birth of the Christ child babe as you say and i will be a nice quiet time for you to spend the day in peace and comfort, and something good to eat as well as doing something relaxing like reading or watching movies.
@micmel Thinking of you Gabby & Theo.🩵
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Intolight~ that’s s gift for Christmas for sure. I’m so happy for your family. Enjoy the time together time is so fleeting.
Mara, I have my onc in jan5 also . Don’t really like that appointment at all. But on ward we all go.
love to allGabbie is actually at work , she had chemo Friday she has two more left then scan. Then final placement of her implants. The road is shortening . I just hope this bump in her life is all she deals with. We all know it can come back . Like stranger things. You beat it up and you think you kill it. Then years later it’s been under your town all along waiting. I’ve had enough of it all if I'm honest . I hate how I feel. I’ve been on ibrance for almost ten years. Jan 22 I’ll have been diagnosed 10 years. Jan 22, 2016 was the day I was told. Dates we never forget. But I’m thankful for this time. I just hope I continue to be ok. I’ll fight the side effects all I have too.
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@intolight I can feel your excitement through your post! How wonderful, enjoy your time together. That's so very sweet!
@micmel Glad to hear Gabby is finally at the end of this horrific road! Continued positivity and prayers that she NEVER has to deal with all this again. Yes, ten years is no picnic dealing with this crap and SE's. But yes ,agree we are blessed to still be here even though we are broken in so many ways. So we carry on……
@shanagirl Always love to read your words of wisdom. Hope you're feeling well and get to enjoy your family especially those grandkids!
@mara51506 Sounds like you are crossing your t's and dotting your i's before surgery. There is definitely something calming for me to feel prepared. Sounds like your health team is being thorough also which is great.
@irishlove Yipeee for time off from appts! Wow enjoy that 80 degree weather for Christmas! It's hard to let go but glad to hear you're coming to terms with it and start focusing more on you and DH💕
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