Do You Feel Pressure to Seem Okay for the People Around You?
Do you ever feel as though you need to diminish your own needs for support or care in order to put on a brave face for people in your life? Has it been difficult to allow yourself to be vulnerable with friends and family, out of fear or concern that you might be a "burden" or that the reality of what you are facing would be too scary or overwhelming for them to handle? We'd love to hear about your experiences.
Comments
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I just say that I'm doing well. Because most people go through the motions of asking something that they don't want the truth to. It seems that if I actually do tell them how I really feel, in the moment, then I have to explain the entire thing to them. It's exhausting. And with some of them you see the shocked look on their faces if I do tell them how I really feel. I just wish people would quit asking because most of them don't want the truth anyway. Sorry if I sound jaded, but it's more energy than I want to put into that at this point in my life.
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I tend to isolate and not reach out to friends much when I’m suffering from side effects. I’m a big introvert & don’t know what to say to them because my life has been dictated by & revolving around illness for 2 years. It was supposed to be over with by now & people just don’t know what to do with it after a certain point. It’s hard to put on a happy face when you are in pain. Luckily I’ve got an incredible sister & sister in-law I can talk to & lean on.
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I don't feel that people don't want me to downplay how I feel for them. They know how hard cancer is and how I have fought. They've been behind me every step of the way. I was there for them in their time of need and they were there for me. I've had moments where I have just wanted to give up and they give me the gentle reminder that its okay to not be okay all the time.
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Yes, I've had to be ok at times when I don't want to be. It's very important to stay ok at work, I need the income and health insurance (and to use my brain, and to help people). I didn't tell nearly as many people when I was diagnosed for a second time... I couldn't deal with the questions about why it happened more than once and I certainly didn't want the blame nor did I want to have to explain my genetic status (BRCA1) to people who have no business knowing. So.... I have chosen to be ok as the path of less resistance.
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