Best Of

Oh, and my PCP has been getting increasingly snippy about renewing my Xanax (I take 0.5 mg at bedtime). The health system that employs him has been cracking down on prescribing controlled substances—one month at a time, no auto-refills. He insists I get a psych eval before the next fill. The questionnaire they sent me had two options: counseling/therapy or “medication management.” There was a caveat for the former: the system has no available psychiatrists, and so few psychologists & MSWs that we are urged to go outside the system if we need counseling or therapy. So it’s back to trying to find an onco-shrink (out of pocket, of course). I miss our family shrink, who retired at the start of the pandemic.

It’s just as bad at Union Health (the prepaid insurance plan for which Bob is now staff cardiologist). One of Bob’s cardiology patients has widely disseminated metastatic uterine cancer, which is quite painful as she nears the palliative care phase. But neither her PCP nor GYN-onc will prescribe her anything stronger than prescription strength ibuprofen—and they’re both suggesting she go OTC on the NSAIDs & Tylenol so that the plan doesn’t have to pay for it. His hands are tied: staff docs are not allowed to prescribe drugs classified as outside their specialties.

Cindy, hope you can finally shed that dresssing! I remember after meniscus surgery I had this massive pressure dressing: gauze under layers of cotton batting under an ACE bandage wrapped so tightly it hurt like hell and I could only toddle slowly on crutches. Had a wedding up in Sheboygan 2 days post-op—it was my R knee so Bob had to drive, and he was having capsular clouding a year after his cataract surgery so the drive around sunset was brutal. (Almost took the wheel for him till we made it to our hotel). I was in such pain on the way home I ditched the layers of cotton batting and loosened the ACE wrap.

Betrayal, I almost never entered a Walmart before we moved up here to the burbs. But there were things that Target didn’t have and we couldn’t wait for Amazon to ship. (Certain scrub sets we wear as PJs that were way cheaper than what the scrubs shops carried, kitchen stuff, etc., and the FairLife protein shakes I prefer that are often out of stock at the supermarkets). But shopping there’s a nightmare. We are smack dab between the one in Lincolnwood and the one further west on the Niles/Skokie border. Both are cavernous & crowded, half the time there are only self-checkouts, then the “greeters” turn into exit cops that check receipts more closely than at Costco. The worst part is parking—even when I had a temp HC placard those spaces were usually full and half the lots’ spaces are reserved for online pickups. Natch, it’s the half closest to the store. Returns at Customer Service are even worse, with long lines and customers with arguments. Of course, there’s the ideological component of the Walton empire (why I use Costco and not Sam’s Club). My recording engineer’s wife down in Sparta (the rara avis known as politically liberal Evangelical) calls it “the Devil store,” and I can’t disagree. But in rural areas it’s the only game in town (after having run all the independent stores out of business). So that’s why I’ll use the Container Store for much of the organizational stuff I’ll need that I won’t be hauling back from here to home.

The more I want to start packing up, the more panicked I get, because I don’t know when I can ferry stuff back yet. Contractor is calling the storage warehouse to arrange dates for pack-in—I insist on one date for furniture & major appliances/fitness machines so I can direct where to place them and clear space in the middle of the rooms; and then a couple of days later for the mountains of boxes to go into those spaces. I will need to hire the cleaning crew’s company to both remove evidence of our time here and clean up from the restoration crew in Edgewater. I may either use them for help unboxing or go with TaskRabbit. We will stay here as long as possible until we have our new bed (adjustable split-king) and mattresses in the other bedrooms/front room daybed, and at least the rudimentary window treatments (blinds, plain shades) installed (the decorative stuff can wait). Will put new litterboxes (maybe a Litter Robot like the one at the rescue) into place, with all cabinets & closets closed to minimize hidey-holes. Only then will we leave here with the kitties and the last of our small suitcases. And of course so much to do re address changes for various accounts, set up internet & cable in advance (including new router & mesh network), transfer DirecTV back there (not sure whether we’ll reestablish the satellite hookup or stick with the streaming version we use here. I know it’s a duplicative expense when everyone seems to be “cutting the cord;” but I like to get news & programming via network & cable, not just streaming or heaven forbid, social media). And each streamer is getting so expensive that cord-cutting is almost as pricy as hard-wired but with fewer choices. We never did ditch the utilities (here in Lincolnwood they’re included) except for our landlines. Our electric, gas & water bills have been minimal, but after this week the electric will likely spike from running the window units 24/7. And internet won’t come cheap, either. Then there’s the $$$$ I’ll need to spend on exterior paint touchups and restoring water pressure to the 1st floor tub & shower (all of which problems predated the fire), new kitchen dinette set (the existing one’s in bad shape) and new deck furniture (chairs, umbrella).

No wonder I’ve been nearly paralyzed into inaction—there’s only so much I can do without knowing when I can actually start to do it. This, in a way, is nearly as stressful as setting up temporary digs (hotels, then here) after the fire. Maybe more stressful, as I know how much more we’ll have to do, since we moved in so gradually and made it feel like home rather than an AirBnB. First steps will be inventory of what we bought (and whether to take it or leave it behind) and what belongs to the place. Then there’s the fridge-and-freezer food shuttling, which we can’t do till we know the fridge is up & running, clean, and at proper temp.