Best Of
Re: Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Hi all,
I just received some upsetting news regarding a good friend of my niece who is only 39. I have known her since she was 12 years old. She had breast cancer around 2020. She had both breasts removed and followed it with chemo and radiation. Now I have been informed that it has come back in her spine and pelvic bones stage 4. She has 2 daughters one still in high school and the other in college. I am really depressed and questioning the big guy WHY!!!!!!
This is really hard for me to deal with this weekend.
Tips for Recovery While Sleeping at an Upright Angle
I had a bilateral mastectomy 8 days ago with an aesthetic flat closure. I had some very painful days and wish I knew then what I know now. I had never seen any posts about this topic, so thought maybe I could help someone else avoid these problems. The intubation for surgery irritates your trachea - which is then often swollen and sore too. Sleeping upright causes your jaw and mouth to drop open (you can’t avoid it), totally drying your mouth and palate. The dried palate sometimes gets micro tears too in addition to just being irritated. The trigeminal nerve is involved here and it signals the mouth, throat, teeth and ears. A bilateral mastectomy aggravates this more as what is called “muscle guarding” occurs. The neck, shoulder and trapezius muscles tighten up as they are aware that the pectoral muscles aren’t working. In trying to protect them - they cause more pain. My mouth was extremely painful and I had toothaches,(numerous) earaches and the sore throat. To remedy this or better yet - prevent it -use a travel pillow around your neck (put the back of it in the front) and use xylimelts in your mouth at bedtime. This will keep your jaw from falling open and hopefully keep your mouth hydrated. Support (pillows) under your arms also helps to keep the neck and shoulder muscles from being pulled down by gravity causing more strain. Of course - stay hydrated during your waking hours and take note not breathe thru your mouth.
Re: OMG.. Heat intolerance after chemo!
Has anyone with this problem ever tried to find a cure or treatment? I have brought it up to different doctors and the responses I get are usually blank stares or nothing. I guess I've kind of learned that this is my new normal over the years but damn, if I could find treatment for this issue my life would improve tremendously!
Re: OMG.. Heat intolerance after chemo!
I am never comfortable. I am mostly really cold, but then it turns on a dime. We spent Wednesday at the Magic Kingdom and I thought I was going to pass out by 2 p.m. I had to sit in the shade for almost an hour. On the other hand, our courthouse is so cold that I have contemplated asking for a cancer exception to have a wool blanket. It is painful to be so cold. Sorry, ladies!
Re: Reconstruction?
Each of us is different when it comes to deciding what surgery to have. I am 3 years out from a single mastectomy and I'm ready to schedule a consultation for a prophylactic mastectomy on the "good" side. I recently went through a scare and had a stereotactic biopsy on a suspicious area of my remaining breast and I am tired of worrying about it, and tired of having mammograms on that side.
Also, I HATE having one "DD" breast. Nothing fits right, I hate the prosthesis, bras are a nightmare,… just aggravating. I am grateful to be alive but sometimes the crap cancer leaves us to deal with is just overwhelming. Going flat and never wearing a bra again sounds heavenly to me. Good luck with whatever you choose.
Re: Reconstruction with reduction. Help pls!
Hello @busybonnie. It’s been a while since I’ve been on here, but I checked in today and read your post. I’m really sorry you are having to make these decisions, I know they are not easy.
For what it’s worth, I was a very busty 38H (I’m 5’ 10” and wear a US size 16 or XL for reference) … I could squeeze into a 40DDD depending on the style of bra. Anyway, I was uncomfortably large in my opinion and very self conscious! Thanks to cancer, I had a single mastectomy and later a reduction on my healthy side and an implant put in on the mastectomy side. From day 1 after my mastectomy (with a new tiny flat tissue expander in place) I was SO happy to have the bulk removed! My neck and back were very appreciative! I kept asking my surgeon to go as small as possible on my reduction side … he wasn’t sure how small he could go and still spare my nipple but he did a decent job. I don’t actually know what cup size I am now, maybe a 38D? Maybe a C? Or somewhere in between. I wear a bralette style size XL. Everything was so sensitive that I couldn’t have anything tight around the band area so I don’t wear traditional bras. I feel so small and perky that I don’t need the same support I used to need, it’s really amazing. I occasionally wonder if I went too small but then I think “who cares”? I love feeling smaller! I can always wear the little cup inserts that come with the bralettes to look bigger if I want. Mostly, under clothing, no one pays any attention to my chest and I look and feel feminine enough.
I always felt like my surgeon was an artist and wanted to “sculpt” the best figure he possibly could for me. I am glad I trusted his judgment on things because he really did know how to make everything look correct on my frame. I hope you are pleased with the results, whatever you decide!!

