Best Of
Re: Starting Chemo May and June 2024 Support Thread
Before and after a #3 cut, my 14 year old and I. He was disappointed we didn't go full on bald, but there is always next weekend.
fossf56
Re: IDC and Mental Health
@bcfightr24 I also suffer from severe anxiety and depression (been on meds for over ten years now), so I can totally relate to everything you’ve gone through! It’s fucking exhausting dealing with all the mental health stuff on top of the the cancer treatment. I just want to say that everything you are feeling is valid. You cannot “think” your way out of depression and anxiety (if you could, you would!).
Some tools I use to calm myself down when I am feeling like my depression is returning:
- I do not beat myself up by saying “I should…” (I should be feeling grateful, I should be able to get through this with a positive attitude, etc). I am allowed to feel my feelings no matter what they are.
- I remind myself that these negative feelings are temporary. I will be happy again. I just have to hold on until brighter days arise.
- I recognize when my thoughts are drifting into rumination about my cancer and all of the possible negative outcomes. I have to refocus on what is actually happening in the present moment (which is usually not much!). Then I repeat in my head “In this moment, I am safe and I am loved” until I feel myself calming down.
- I can choose to believe that my outcome will be the best case scenario just as easily as I usually assume the worst case scenario.
- When I’m feeling yucky from treatment, I tell myself that “I’m so glad I don’t have cancer and that today I’m just feeling crappy because I have a nasty cold”! When I say to myself I’m just battling a cold, it tricks my brain into thinking I can handle this because a cold is really no big deal and only lasts a few days. When I think about the months of chemo ahead of me, it really brings my mood down. On the days I feel good, I just pretend I don’t have cancer. It’s called living in the moment, instead of ruminating on the future. You know that feeling you felt when you got good news about a certain test result? That’s the feeling I get when I tell myself “yay, I don’t need chemo and I’m just sick with a cold!” Might sound crazy to you, but it works for me.
I hope that helps! Best of luck and know that you are not alone!!
Love4All
Re: Have you experienced PTS or PTSD following a breast cancer diagnosis?
There is no post -- more like Constant Traumatic Stress and I am not ok.
mkestrel
Re: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
Threetree - I'm so glad you got clarity (and relief) about your MO's call. I don't think any of my MOs (3) have ever called me for anything. I got my de novo dx from my GE, since it it was found in my liver first.
Sunshine - Sheesh! People are crazy. You didn't lose anything when you unfriended her.
DivineMrsM- I'm so glad you enjoyed your retirement party and dinner, even if it did wear you out a bit.
Mel - I really want some seafood now. I love it! I did risk having raw oysters when I was in Panama City earlier this year. Last time ever. :( At least I can find cooked versions of sushi every now and then.
Cookie - I know just what you mean about waking up near the water. I love being on the lake!
I spent the day cleaning my house, and I needed to clean the guest rooms and make beds tomorrow. My son is coming in tomorrow, and the rest of the kids (DD and her SO + dogs, DSD, DSIL, DGS) are coming in Wednesday or Thursday. 4th of July at the lake is always fun. We live right across the lake from the park where the city fireworks display is, and our next door neighbors put on a show that's at least as good (literally). This year, I have a couple chaise lounges to kick back in and watch the shows. It's hotter than blazes though. We've started our triple digit temps, with no break in sight.
Waving hi to everyone!
seeq
Re: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
Sunshine, good for you for deleting those ridiculous comments and unfriending that person. What a doofus. Hope your phone appt goes well.
Threetree, so good to hear that the random call from your doc wasn't bad news. I think I would freak out if my MO left a vague msg, as she has never done that before.
Cookie, your summer rental sounds lovely! Try as best you can to enjoy and be in the moment, I know how hard that can be at times, but hopefully your morning coffee will taste so much better there.
My local support group lost another young member recently, in her 30s. Really, really hate MBC.
Had my retirement party/dinner last weekend, was exhausted for days afterwards, but in a happy and contented kind of way. First time I've been with that many people for hours indoors since the pandemic, I decided to just go for it (I am super vaccinated!) Fortunately, no one got sick. Delicious food, lots of laughter, I gave a little speech about how echos of interactions with each of them lives on in my heart. It was beautiful.
sf-cakes
Re: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
Micmel, seafood sounds wonderful, enjoy.
I had my Enhertu yesterday, so I’m taking it easy today, then cleanup our travel trailer this weekend as we have a frietsnd his GF coming to visit in a week or so. They’re coming from Houston, so I’m sure they will love our dry 70’s/80’s mountain top weather.
illimae
Re: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
threetree Exhaling with you! Your MO sounds like a wonderful , attentive man glad it all is ok.
Mel I'm excited for you! I know it's difficult for you in many ways and I hope this adds a spark in your weekend. Enjoy!
Mara Ugh flies are soooo annoying not to mention nasty too! I don't have any tricks up my sleeve for you but I hope you find a home remedy that works. As far as the shopping trips go, follow your heart on this. I understand how you may feel that you don't want it to be a chore for them. Maybe just a visit and a cup of coffee with good conversation could feel fulfilling to all.
So we start our summer rental on Monday through Labor Day which is a nice escape from reality. I do love waking up by the water with a big cup of coffee. I'm trying my hardest to just live in the moment but as you know it's not always that easy. Especially now with the possible bone mets beginning which I think I will wait til after the 4th for an MRI. I also still feel down about the losses here. I wish we could stop time and all stay here chatting it up forever. Hugs ❌⭕️
cookie54
Re: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
threetree~keep your mind busy. Sometimes it makes me so mad that people use different phrasing or nomenclature to express the same things. I read mine through as well. I wouldn’t panic too much yet, the fact that she reached out to you, may be to calm any fears or answer any questions If there is a gap between reading the scan and actually seeing the patient. I am in your pocket for support and snacks. Hugs. I’m still bummed about spookiesmom, and Emac. They were great gals . 😞this is all so hard.
Mae~ hear you’re already planning your next excursion! That’s awesome !
hello to KBL. !
love to all.
micmel
Re: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
Turned out to be a c. diff infection and I got antibiotics. I KNEW that was going to happen after they kept dumping antibiotics into me for no reason at the hospital in April. After I clear this its time for a solid probiotic to level things out, so if anyone has any good ones from the US let me know as I can get them in a few weeks. So SO annoyed, this is so avoidable like everything else but no, lets practice 30 year old medicine.
I saw the spookiesmom news and will also miss her little photo. May she rest well and in peace.
sondraf
Re: Stage III Cancer Survivors...15+ years and out
I'm about 3 weeks early this year but didn't want to miss my 20 year post! Still doing fine. This is about the only time I'm here, but I told myself that if I made it to 10 years I would come back every year and update, and here I am 10 years after THAT date. We're still out here, it CAN happen, it IS possible.
mpetago