Best Of
Re: Great saying about depression
I found this article from the NY Times back in 2009. It is written by a man who had prostrate cancer. I found it interesting because he's describing his feelings of depression after treatment and it is very similar to what a lot of us have posted here-
September 29, 2009, 10:40 AM
After Cancer, Ambushed by Depression
I’m depressed.
I’m recovering well from an aggressive case of prostate cancer, I haven’t had any treatment in months, and all of my physical signposts of health are pointing in the right direction.
Still, I’m depressed.
And I’ve been ambushed by it. After more than a year of diagnosis, treatment and waiting, it’s almost as if, finally and unexpectedly, my psyche heaved a sigh and gave itself permission to implode.
I’m not alone in this cancer-caused depression. As many as 25 percent of cancer patients develop depression, according to the American Cancer Society. That’s contrasted with about 7 percent of the general population.
This isn’t about sadness or melancholy. It’s more profound than that. Broadly, I have a keen sense of being oppressed, as if I were trapped, wrapped up in some thick fog coming in off the North Atlantic.
To be more specific, I’m exhausted, unfocused and tap my left foot a lot in agitation. I don’t much want to go anywhere — especially anyplace that’s crowded — and some days I can’t even bear the thought of picking up the phone or changing a light bulb. All of this is often topped off by an aspirin-proof headache.
The fatigue frustrates me most. When I envision myself it’s as a body in motion, walking or running, not foundering in bed. On one recent day, I slept till 10 in the morning — getting 11 hours of sleep — then took a nap from noon to 2. And I was still tired.
I’ve had occasional depression over the years, but nothing as dogged as this. When I first learned that I had prostate cancer, I wondered about depression. But after the shock of the diagnosis wore off, I was sharp and clear-headed. I wasn’t depressed as I went through treatment — surgery, radiation and hormone therapy. I was buoyed by a kind of illness-induced adrenaline.
The bone-smoldering fatigue arrived in late spring/early summer, and intensified as summer deepened. I thought that I might be depressed, but resisted the diagnosis, didn’t want to countenance the idea that I could be depressed after all of my treatment.
I stubbornly chalked the fatigue up to the lingering aftereffects of radiation and my fluctuating levels of testosterone. But I was wrong.
I am seeing a psychiatrist who specializes in cancer patients, and have started a course of medication. My doctor assures me that depression isn’t unusual among those who are on the far side of treatment.
Partly, I think, I’m grieving for the person I was before I learned I had cancer. Mortality is no longer abstract, and a certain innocence has been lost.
And while the physical trauma is past, the stress lingers and brings with it days washed in fine shades of gray. In the same way that radiation has a half-life, stress does, too. We all ache to be the heroes of our own tales, right? Well, I’m not feeling too heroic these days.
Cancer pushes lots of difficult buttons. It lays bare our basic vulnerability and underlines the uncertainty of this life. And prostate cancer attacks our culture’s ideal of manhood. The steely-eyed Marlboro Man isn’t expected to worry about incontinence and erectile dysfunction.
Cancer feels bleaker than other diseases. Even though my health keeps improving, and there’s a good chance that I’m cancer free, I still feel stalked, as if the cancer were perched on my shoulder like some unrepentant imp.
It’s harder to write about the weight of depression than it is to write about prostate cancer and its physical indignities. Cancer is clear biological bad luck. But depression, no matter how much we know about it, makes part of me feel as if it’s somehow my fault, that I’m guilty of something that I can’t quite articulate.
This has also been a difficult post to write because during my dark waltz with cancer I’ve depended on my natural optimism and my sense of humor to help see me through. But depression blunts those traits.
In the end, though, I believe in and trust in the healing power of the stories that we tell each other. And I wouldn’t be truthful to you or myself if I ignored the fact that I’m depressed … even as I wait for a brisk wind billowing out of the north that’ll blow this fog of mine away.
kate33
Re: How are people with liver mets doing?
Happy New Year everyone! I guess this is my 9 year cancer-versary. I am very grateful to be here and am very grateful to my Oncology team, family and friends and each of you. Your information a kind support have helped in so many ways. Thank you!!
intolight - I also added Verzenio to orserdu after tumor markers skyrocketed. They are still rising mildly but recent PET showed everything stable. So we are at watch and see. 🤞
threetree - I did meet with the radiologist and he does recommend SBRT to liver mets for BC patients if there are 1 or 2 lesions. If there are less than 5, he would use it to stay on a therapy longer. And if there are more but only one is growing he would also use SBRT on that one to stay on a therapy longer. He said a study came out that was negative but that was only one study and there are multiple that show benefit. I feel much more optimistic that I could use this when needed.
Re: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
I do have a water flosser and some regular floss, electric toothbrush as well. Tea stain is right into the enamel, bought some white strips which are not to set off sensitivity, I could almost see teeth are brighter. But doing it for myself, same with the cleaning, grateful for the start by SIL, not overwhelming to look at and I can get it done.
Anyway, enough complaining, MO app't was good other than she is seeing something in my lung, she is going to CT scan every 3 months and says if it turned out be actual mets she would radiate it. She told me it could also be an artifact from my bad cold with chest congestion and coughing. Not going to focus on that now, get through the brain stuff. She says I am her miracle patient due to the lack of mets below the head and general good health all things considered. I will take that. I like to hear that and need to stop obsessing on stuff said and just keep up with stuff I want to, they asked about technology disposal but I said I will keep it, like to do different things on computers like try to put different operating systems on, they don't take up floor space so the can stay
Craving some mcdonalds so getting a junior chicken and mcdouble and possible fruitopia, allowing this because I am hungry and it would taste good and will not be grocery shopping for a little while anyway.
Re: Anyone starting brand drug, Enhertu?
I just read through this entire thread and noted all the HER-2 low/negative posters (the vast majority were low), and how long they were on Enhertu before stopping because of adverse effects such as pneumonitis or progression of their cancer. I counted about 30 women. I didn't count HER2+, only negative or low who were offered this medication.
The average length of time on the drug before stopping was 5 months. Small sample size, and maybe there's something different about the women who post here, but that's a lot less than was advertised in the Destiny-04 trial, which was funded by the makers of the drug.
I don't mean to be a downer but it makes me wonder —
fox3
Re: Poll: What's the one piece of advice you'd give to someone newly diagnosed with breast cancer?
You can’t know what’s coming around the bend! Stay in the present moment and focus on what you can control - good nutrition, quality sleep, exercise (even when you’re tired), lower stress levels with breath work and meditation, and get your support network engaged. Know that you will be stronger, braver and wiser than you’ve ever been. Treat yourself like a queen and don’t be the hero. Take good care of yourself.
Re: Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Taco, New Year's Day fare in this area features cabbage and black-eyed peas. All the supermarkets will have big bins of cabbage and displays of Camellia brand dry black-eyed peas. Also canned black-eyed peas. This meal is for health and prosperity. My father made his own interpretation. Cabbage was for paper money and black-eyed peas for coins. He wasn't a fan of black-eyed peas so my mother usually cooked cabbage. All vegetables my mother cooked included a seasoning meat, like bacon, ham, sausage, smoked ham hocks. She kept bacon fat for seasoning. My father had heart disease but she had low cholesterol and triglycerides. Genes.
I know that some southern states have greens, like collard greens, at New Year's. One popular black-eyed peas dish is Hoppin' John. The peas and rice and a seasoning meat are cooked together. I think this dish is popular in the Carolinas. One of our cooks on the What's For Dinner? thread makes Hoppin' John.
Your winter temperatures sound ideal for golf.
Betrayal, dh and I sometimes watch the PBS show where celebrities learn about their ancestors. DH had a relative who did ancestor research and sent everyone in the family information and copies of photos. I have all that in a file.
It's in the 50's outside. I just heard a meteorologist on tv say the rest of our week will be warm and humid. This weekend there will be a threat of storms. This time of year we have a lot of fog.
Happy Monday.
Re: Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
A belated Happy New Year.
Betrayal, loved the info about the mummers. A fun tradition here at the Fiesta Bowl Parade is the participation of the "play it again, band." People from all over the state sign up and the music is sent ahead. After one afternoon of practice, they go and play the whole route. DH learned to play the trumpet after he retired and participated for several years. It got to be too hard. After all the marching, he had to get back to his car. But the crowds always gave them great support even though they weren't nearly as good as the college bands. There is probably a tee shirt or two sitting somewhere.
We've had both the old and the new shingles shots. I remember how miserable my mother was when she got them.
Carole, can you share more about the "black eyed peas" tradition. We were talking about it just the other day but we are definitely northerners. I know I can look it up on Wikipedia but would appreciate your interpretation.
My folks always made Cornish hens on New Year's Day and DS has continued the tradition but we haven't. We went to the party at our club but left early. The last time we made it to midnight was 2000. Do you remember we unplugged stuff, stored water, and got extra cash?
Rain over New Year's but lovely this weekend. Usually in the high 60's/low 70's when I golf. Now listening to the local newsperson saying more rain and cooler temps by mid-week.
I'm collecting pictures from family members for my Story project. My nephew sent me one of my parents at a beach in a very sexy pose. Loved it! I don't remember ever seeing it.
Have a good week, everyone. Extra hugs for those who are hurting.
1946taco
Re: Tamoxifen side effects
hi, have you considered/discussed with your doc, that you might still be having aftereffects from covid?> sorry you're going through this and hope it gets better soon!