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@goldensrbest You are totally right. The line she fed me was that older DB is stressed out worrying about me and my condition, falling etc. I call BS because neither of them call me on a regular basis. Don't expect long convo, a checkin call would be fine if they are worried. Either way, I am going my way, their opinions are their own and none of my business, got to just look after myself. Have not got the hang of everyday exercise routines, but working toward them for sure. Now I know not to talk about politics going on in Canada, tv shows, food and now anything medical is off the table or SIL is pissed that I do not take their advice if I don't agree with it. Oh well, promise I am feeling better than yesterday about things, telling myself that nobody deserves a place in my mind to stress or feel bad about. Enjoy the free instant pot and free food found in hallway. Definitely had to be an apartment cleanout. On the rare occasion I happen upon a box outside, I do bring it inside so people cannot easily steal them if they sit outside.

Mara - happy to hear of good test results! Sorry to hear about family issues☹️. You are so right to cut off contact with someone that minimizes your self worth. I think all of us would do the same. The only medical advice you need to follow is that of your doctors and I don’t think your DB and SIL are medical professionals. We’re here for you to vent away…..

My body decided I do not need to sleep more than a couple hours on the couch, that is fine by me. Would have had an early wake up call. For some reason, I like to wake 3 hours before leaving as I do not enjoy feeling rushed so that is where I am at.

I am watching instant pot videos, I do not have the trivet or anything so saute and rice will be my jam. Simple stuff to start with. I am also going to keep it in one of my boxes after I move the walker to where I think it needs to go, it can go on the side of the front door when not in use, planning to take it out when cooler, give myself a chance to get used to walking, sitting for a bit and walking again, recognizing the brakes need to be on for the sit portion. No plans on taking out in the winter Still got indoor stuff on the go, taking it easy today on the exercise front though. May have enough time to take a lap since I accidentally booked paratransit a bit earlier than needed. That was not intentional.

I think I can handle an egg sandwich, probably done in the microwave because when I whip it up, can easily include cheese and bacon bits and whatever taste I may want to have. I am thinking instant pot may work well with cooking from frozen, I will keep studying it anyway. It was just a random thing sitting opened and abandoned in the hall so free cookware is nice, there was an entire box of pantry type items, various rice dishes etc. Again, this stuff was abandoned in an apartment clean out, couple couches out front. They will be there till garbage day.

Update, feeling frozen pasta so heating up penne alfredo with chicken, adding 2 eggs whipped up with garlic and butter for a bit of protein and not a complicated taste.

When I get home, can get extra laundry and blankets done since Herceptin at 1100 am. Hard to believe it is October already. Just noticed the date. My goodness.

I have come to a resolution which is just don't sweat the stuff that does not need to affect me. 98 per cent of the time, I am on my own and doing my own thing, could be food, making myself get some exercise or budget boosting etc. Yes SIL upsets me but 98 per cent of the time, I do not hear from her. I will simply add anything to do with improving myself with balance, exercise or anything else. That triggers her whole you never listen to us routine. Instead enjoy the boon of a free cooking appliance, having my walker if I decide I would like to walk somewhere, fill up on water before and hydrate as I sit and rest. Ease into it, have the treadmill on the go twice or three times a week, incorporate the balance exercises found, walk really fast by swing my arms, use walking poles to give arms more to do. Keep my mouth shut and treat the irritability I get as not my circus not my monkeys. The other thing I remember is that it is none of my business what others think of me, can only control my own thoughts, stop taking it all to heart. Not being sensitive is a built in brain habit from childhood, need to really work on stuff.

I need to make my own life good, not to prove anything to others but just myself. I will see how much energy needed after appointment. I need to get some movement, alternate treadmill with superfast walking on spot, look up the balance workouts on youtube and resume bridge poses. There is a kid on youtube or facebook in the reels section, his first name is chase, has spina bifida and his legs mostly do not work. His dad is a wonderful coach and tells kid how to move, I have watched this kid move some sort of walker type thing down and up curbs, use it to walk home and hoist himself up to the couch or transfer himself up and down his wheelchair. He has largely inspired me because that boy is doing what he has to, yes he has help from wonderful dad but he persists. I know that the dad is making sure the kid will be able to largely look after himself for the transfers and walking as he moves on in his life.

Anyway hope everyone has good day, in all pockets for all as well, including myself to add a good variety of food from my own stuff AND from the free stuff as well. Need chores as well to get that stuff done and keep finding different stuff for instant pot. I like the fact that steel section can come out and be heated on a regular burner although that would be redundant to other pots I have.

On a lighter note, found a pressure cooker and a box of unopened food in the box. Free stuff is good. Property manager suggested it would be safer to keep my walker indoors so I have found somewhere handy to keep it and it won't be in the way so that is good. One thing SIL did that was good was to bring it back. I will use as I see fit. Walk a bit, sit a bit, walk a bit, sit abit etc. Keep mouth closed about its use as well except here and the Stage IV fitness thread. Lots of rice kits in the box where the pressure cooker was too so will think about those at dinners.

My anger is waning now. Will be no contact for now as in me not contacting them and keep test results in house here. If not stated, CT scan was clear and ECG showed good heart and heart function too. Other thing I keep telling myself is my self worth is not what my family thinks of me but what I think of myself, need to remind myself of that more and remind myself I can do it on my own with you guys here.

Just having honey garlic rice by uncle bens. I did put it in my instant pot, accidentally burned arm which was not pleasant

@cookie54 Yes, I am happy to have it with me. No steps on it yesterday but from walking around the hospital for my appointment to walking the grounds to locate my Paratransit ride home, I got 2500 steps which was more than enough.

Nothing on agenda today, got my annual rent increase. Only 2.1 percent which is fine, just need to adjust bills a little bit and do more budget boosting. Buy less expensive protein, probably hotdogs which can be ground up or more of the tubs of ground beef if still selling them. I also have to figure out a tomato sauce which I do not love the taste of, I will check if using WITH queso or KD powder cheese would taste good or smothering it in garlic type seasoning or spread would be better or adding to an egg and sending through the magic bullet would be helpful too.

I ordered a egg mcmuffin and hashbrown meal, usually up too late but able to get today which is good, once I have eaten, will put down the track and do some walking on that.

UPDATE, found a pressure cooker out back and a box of unopened food like KD, canned goods etc. I decided if somebody wanted them, they would not have left an open box, guess for me is it arrived for someone after they moved out so claimed them for myself. I will check email if anything is posted about missing items. The box was a box that was sitting outside a few days ago so I brought it into the building so someone must have opened it up and brought it out back. No point having it get damaged or just thrown out. Would never have opened a box.

Update, called SIL to let her know someone had cut the zipties on my walker and that I was going to keep it and practice using it so I can walk a bit, sit a bit and walk a bit more, figure that was a clever thing to do. But practice first. I let her know MO figured low blood pressure was the issue when I fainted. She went off on me, not yelling but telling me that she is frustrated that I call and do not take advice given by DB and her. I actually had a bit of a raised voice saying that fine, I will not ask for advice anymore. I don't need family stress on top of my own issues. I do not feel I need care. I do not call very much but she has now sealed it that I will not call at all, do my own thing. It is not nice to know that no one wants to even hear from me. She was annoyed sounding when I gave scan results yesterday. I do not need to have it obvious that people are annoyed if I dare to call. Not dumping on DB either. I am just tired of people in general treating me if I am bad because I do not do as they say. SIL is quite bossy, comes into the house and tells me it looks like shit and stuff. I think I will simply stay no contact and if I fall and go to hospital, take cab home. Probably skip trips out as she did state, no longer willing to listen about my health since I do not do everything she says.

They want me to get care but those on wait lists and not honestly needing all that. So f*ck her for right now. I am more angry that she seems to think I am a moron when knowing what is best and not listening at all. They treat me her and DB like my cognitive ability is all but gone. So for now, no contact and no groceries. When we do go out, they do not listen and talk over me anyway. It really is not fun at all. Other thing that grinds my gears is that I was not asking for advice but that I would practice using it outdoors and sitting and stepping. Oh well, it will take me a while to get over it because my first instinct is to scream at her which will not solve anything. Staying no contact works best for me. She wants to be my boss but I will be my own boss bitch with what I need to do.

Thanks for listening to my rant, just tired of being shit on by family for the crime of calling them. I will cry for a bit to release stress and anger because it hurts me only and realize that instead of 98 per cent of the time seeing or hearing from them, I will rely totally on myself. Probably cry a bit more for a bit and leave it alone.