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CMF Question

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Comments

  • DesignerMom
    DesignerMom Member Posts: 730
    edited November 2010

    Beanius-  I am getting excited for you!!  You are headed for the finish line.  Get out of the way everyone!!  Did you start rads yet?

  • raincitygirl
    raincitygirl Member Posts: 700
    edited November 2010

    Ok all you experienced CMF'ers, did anyone experience relentless hunger?  It is like a vicious cycle - it is the only thing helping with my nausea right now and then an hour later, the need is back.  Why can't I be the one who loses weight?  No silver lining for me?

    I have become the Queen of Comfort Food.  Does anyone know why?  What is going on?  Is this normal?

  • mandy1313
    mandy1313 Member Posts: 978
    edited November 2010

    Hi Raincitygirl!

    The hunger may be from the steroids that they give you to prevent nausea.  Decadron will create intense hunger.  That being said, I read that people on CMF gain, on from the CMF too. I gained about 20 pounds on CMF.  The first 10 pounds easily came off when I finished the chemo, but I am struggling to get the second 10 pounds off.

    Like you, I craved comfort food--possibly because they tend to be bland and soothing.  I needed my "mac and cheese" and even got recipes from friends for it. 

    If you are taking decadron after each chemo, you might ask your onc if there is something she can substitute.  During my last few chemos I did not have decadron, and had other anti nausea meds, and I was not eating everything in sight.

    Hang in there. You will be finished before you know it!

    Cyber hugs

    Mandy

  • raincitygirl
    raincitygirl Member Posts: 700
    edited November 2010

    Mandy - thank you for your response.  After my first treatment, I turned down steroids, so sadly, I don't have that excuse.....I wish I did though.

    I am seeing the oncologist today for chemo and will see if I can get some insight there....

    Have a great day - will report back if I get an answer...

    Diane

  • Beanius
    Beanius Member Posts: 1,494
    edited November 2010

    raincitygirl - I'm sending out tremendous good vibes to you for getting chemo today!! The steroids make me talk a lot and eat a lot, but then when they wear off and I'm just taking caca pills I lose my appetite for all but cheerios, trail mix, raisin bran, and CANDY!!!  I have lost about 10 pounds since dx. No biggie, I'm still a long ways from sweet 16!! I haven't asked to reduce the steroids, we have to travel for tx, so they keep me UP for the travel and I feel it boosts my bod to help it process all the toxins. I know a lot of others feel differently about the steroids, but I've chosen to keep to my drs orders. She's been awesomely fantastic and has gotten me this far with relative ease (though I complain a lot cuz I'd rather be doing something else, ya know...)

    Designermom - I got my tats and I start my suntan Nov 16, happy happy joy joy!! I was complaining to raincitygirl that I miss the sun, so now righty will be happily getting a tan!! (of course the rest of me will still be pasty white, ah well, summer will come again...

    Mandy - It does go fast, I started in July and have less than a month now for chemo (2weeks off then 2weeks on then totally done!!)...I can't believe how time has flown by.

    #5 DONE!!! #6 and final starts Nov 23. All chemo will be done Dec 6. I'm alive and well and have no noticeable hair loss, except DH and I see a lot of shedding. My DS is visiting next week and she hasn't seen me since cycle 1 started, I don't know if she'll be honest but I'll tell you what she says. I mostly notice my eyebrows thinned but they were a mess to begin with and they are easy to just add some make-up to (and my pubes have thinned - tee hee), eyelashes are all there, but I'm a blondie so you would never have noticed them even before chemo, I've tried mascara, but it doesn't show up - proly need false eyelases. None of the annoying hairs have gone though, like those little wild ones that pop out here and there...

    Sending big hugs, love and prayers to all my CMF and BC sisters. Hope you have a fantastic week!

  • raincitygirl
    raincitygirl Member Posts: 700
    edited November 2010

    Beans - when the rest of you is pasty white, there is a solution. My daughter was going to a wedding last weekend and her legs looked what we call around here Microsoft white (as in they never go outside).  Anyway, didn't like fake tan idea but heard abou Sally Hansent leg makeup - it was amazing, natural, just a great product.  You could have matching boobies, you know, for those naked romps on the ocean in the rain. :)

    Feeling ok today, but running a bit slow.  Just now hitting the shower. I think it is the rainy, grey day :)  So glad not to be doing this in the summer.

  • Beanius
    Beanius Member Posts: 1,494
    edited November 2010

    raincitygirl - its done, sold I'm buying Sally Hansent leg make-up for my whole bod (excluding right booby). Microsoft white! LOL-hadn't heard that before, in college we used to call the nerds who were all white from being inside 24hrs mushrooms. Yea, those crappy pills slow ya down some...fun stuff!!!

  • ritajean
    ritajean Member Posts: 4,042
    edited November 2010

    I hope everyone is doing well.  Thanks for the Sally Hansen leg makeup tip!  I'd never heard of that!

    You gals in treatment need to check in!  I've been thinking about you!

    Rita

  • raincitygirl
    raincitygirl Member Posts: 700
    edited November 2010

    Ritajean - I promise it is an awesome product - didn't even rub off on her clothing, no streaks, no fake tan look - just smooth even color.

    I am just finishing up round two and so very glad to be swallowing the last of the caca pills for this round today.  I look forward to the recuperative period very much.  No mouth sores this time, I guess I did better with biotene as well as baking soda and salt rinses. 

    Still hungry all the time and satisfied only by carbs and proteins.  When I try to eat vegetarian and forget some sort of beans, I am especially hungry.  Pack 'em, pack 'em, pack 'em....that's the bummer of it for now.

    Hope all of you are doing well!

  • Beanius
    Beanius Member Posts: 1,494
    edited November 2010

    raincitygirl - congrats on finishing round two!! I use biotene toothpaste and mouthwash...you might ask your onc for another type of mouthwash for sores..."First Mouthwash BLM." I also ask for crushed ice and eat that during infusions. I have avoided mouth sores using all this. 

    I will be starting # 6 and final cycle next Tues. Was supposed to start rads today, but there was a power outage, so maybe tomorrow - that will be 33 sessions.

    As I've gone through, food has become less and less appealing and candy and sweet stuff (like peanut butter with honey sandwiches) have tasted better than ever. I think I've lost about 10 pounds from dx to now, the first part was due to stress over dx. My hair is still there, my eyebrows have thinned a bit and so have pubes, otherwise all my hair is still there and no noticeable hair loss. I will be all through with chemo Dec 6, as is still get two infusions and 14 days of cytoxan pills.

    In all this has been very doable and I think I should get through the last cycle okay!

    All my best to you CMF chicks, ritajean, you are so wonderful to check in on us and help us through!!! XXXOOOXXXOOO

  • ritajean
    ritajean Member Posts: 4,042
    edited November 2010

    Beanius!  You've about got it "licked" now!   So glad you've made it through without the mouth sores.   I was lucky that way, too.  I really think that the biotene and the ice chips helped get us through!  It won't be long now and you'll be part of the NO MO' CHEMO CLUB!!!!!

    Raincitygal.  I tended to crave the carbs, too and I gained weight during chemo.  It came off pretty easy once I'd finished.  During chemo I didn't worry too much about diet.  I just ate whatever tasted good at the time.  From your picture, you don't look like you have to worry too much about weight so just pig out now when you feel like it.  It will come off at the end.  Hugs!  Just keep marking those cycles off on your calendar and soon you'll be nearly finished too....just like Beanius!

    I hope everyone in treatment has had a good day!  Hugs to all of you!  Take it one day at a time.  The whole nerve-wracking journey is much more manageable that way!

    Rita

  • raincitygirl
    raincitygirl Member Posts: 700
    edited November 2010

    Rita - thank you - I am so happy to be having an off-chemo week and to have been so brilliant to have scheduled my chemo so that Thanksgiving and Christmas would be good periods.  I don't care about New Year's, we just watch football anyway.    I definitely need to lose weight but now is not the time at all.  I did work with a trainer today and it felt good because it was something normal, from my "pre BC" life.  Woo-hoo!

    One day at a time....I have to remember that.  All I could think of today is that on the 29th, I am back in there.  I have to learn NOT to think that way.

  • ritajean
    ritajean Member Posts: 4,042
    edited November 2010

    Oh raincitygal....we all thought that way.  Just when we were back to feeling pretty good again, that next chemo session rolled around.  I guess you just need to think that the next chemo session gets you one closer to being finished.  Sometimes it's still a little hard to thinik about it that way, isn't it?   Sometimes it's also hard to see the end, too, but it does finally arrive and life is good after treatments!

  • Beanius
    Beanius Member Posts: 1,494
    edited November 2010

    I'll second that ritajean...my last cycle starts next week...just when I start feeling more normal...don't want to go, but it means I will be finished with the treatment my doctor and I thought was best for me. It will come to an end, soon and so will RCgirl's...going for #3 was the hardest - halfway was so hard to think still so far to go, but it has gone so fast and I'm holding up really well. I'm glad to be alive and nearing and end to all this!!!!

  • mandy1313
    mandy1313 Member Posts: 978
    edited November 2010

    Raincitygirl:  Ritajean is right...one day at a time. That was the advice she gave me too. I realize that it is easier said than done. I almost quit before my last tx--I was just sick of feeling sick.  My onc talked me into it and before I knew it, I was done! (I had 8 tx so it went on for 6 months--it felt as if it would never end).  You were smart to schedule so that you will be good for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Two years ago I had just begun the chemo/rads trip and it is amazing to think that it is in the past. 

    I am wondering what you gals are doing for Thanksgiving--are those of you in treatment staying in or going out? Are the rest of you traveling or cooking?   This year hubby and I are driving to Cambridge, Massachusetts where our younger daughter is a college student.  She has an exam the Monday after Thanksgiving plus two papers due that week so she couldn't come home.  So we have made a reservation at a restaurant we like, invited hubby's sister plus daughter's room mate (who is from China) and a very distant cousin who is also at college with our daughter (and also far from home).  It will be different but the main thing is  the people, not the food or location.  So I am quite excited and, in a way, it is nice that I am not the chef!  For Christmas my news is even better--my older daughter has taken a week off from work to come in from California and be with us--so both daughters will be home!

    Sending (((((((hugs))))))))))to all for a great weekend.

    Mandy

  • raincitygirl
    raincitygirl Member Posts: 700
    edited November 2010

    Thank you all for the encouragement - you have to promise not to laugh at me.  I made an appt. yesterday to meet with my oncologist to discuss ending early.  It is NOT because it is so horrible, because it's not.  I do have two reasons - first, is I don't enjoy living my life around chemo when I don't even know that there is a single bit of benefit for me.  When I made my decision, it was based in fear and now that I am calmer, I kind of feel that the risk/benefit ratio is not satisfactory for me.  I mean 2-3%?  I will spend 180 days to gain approx 380 days.  I am just so unsure about this decision.I am not usually a quitter and I view this as pragmatic exploration.  Just gonna talk about it.  Did any of you ever hit this point?

  • mandy1313
    mandy1313 Member Posts: 978
    edited November 2010

    Raincitygirl: it's a good discussion to have. I assume you are doing chemo because of your oncotype since you had zero positive nodes. In my case I had a low oncotype but one positive node and mixed recommendations from the docs.  I had the discussion before I began chemo and then after my 6th tx.  In the end I went to all 8.   Good luck with making your decision!

  • raincitygirl
    raincitygirl Member Posts: 700
    edited November 2010

    I am sure you will agree, your frame of mind was different after your sixth than before hand :)  Have you notiiced that since BC, all we do is make decisions?  It has become sort of a joke around here for me to say, please just someone else decide, whether we are talking about what is for dinner or what color to paint the bathroom...

  • mandy1313
    mandy1313 Member Posts: 978
    edited November 2010

    Raincitygirl:  As Ritajean and the other gals here can tell you, I was a mess during chemo. I had every side effect that they ever wrote about and some that they didn't know existed. I was private messaging everyone asking for advice and I got some great advice too!  In any event,  I just gave in to the onc about the final tx.  I don't know if it was the right or the wrong decision but I just wanted it to be over and I did not want to have a disagreement.   So as for my mind set---it was just one of exhaustion.

    I understand what you are saying about decisions.   The reason that we have to decide is because they actually can not be certain  who will have  a recurrence and who will be ok.  That is the one thing I learned on this journey. Statistics are statistics.  But if you are in the one percent who has a recurrence, then for you it is one hundred percent.  And while there are certain factors they study in trying to determine who will  have a recurrence, they are not absolute.  So I gave it my best guess and I try not to look back and to keep going forward.  If you are unsure, then you might get a second opinion after you talk to your onc.  I have always found second opinions to be very helpful.  All the best and let us know how the meeting with your onc goes. 

    Take care. 

     

  • DesignerMom
    DesignerMom Member Posts: 730
    edited November 2010

    Raincity-  My Oncotype score was low and even though I had a micromet in one node, statistics said that chemo would not benefit me.  I just couldn't be at peace about it.  I decided to throw everything I could at it in the hopes I will never have to fight this battle again.  Having said that, I did choose CMF instead of a more toxic chemo.  I completed all 6 of my chemos.  It did seem to go on forever and at the same time it went fast.  Now that it is over and I am almost through rads I am happy I did it.  I really managed to function almost normally throughout chemo, was down for only about 2 to 3 days after chemo, kept most of my hair.  My friends even remarked that they couldn't believe I was in chemo.  Of course the decision is only yours to make. I hope you are able to be at peace with whatever decision you make.

    Mandy-  Thankfully one of my best friends invited me to her house for Thanksgiving so we just have to show up and enjoy!  Enjoy your Thanksgiving.  As long as you are all together, that's all that matters.  I'm smiling thinking of your upcoming, happy Christmas with everyone home.

  • ritajean
    ritajean Member Posts: 4,042
    edited November 2010

    Raincity....only you and your oncologist can make that decision.  I think most of us reached that same point where you are now.  We second guessed how effective the treatments were and if we really needed them.  My indecision was really elevated because I did four CMF treatments and then broke for radiation. You can bet that I sure didn't want to come back and finish the last 2 treatments after the rads.  However, I realized that if (heaven forbid) the beast comes back, I would have always wondered if those last two treatments would have made a difference.  I just couldn't take the chance.  If it came back and I had taken the final two treatments, at least I would know that I'd done everything available to me to beat it.  We are all different and we all think differently.  Only you can weigh our comments and your options and make the right decision for you.  Four years ago tomorrow, I sat in the surgeon's office and heard those three words that changed my life instantly:  You have cancer.  I am so thankful for the past four years....even with its accompanying ups and downs.

  • Beanius
    Beanius Member Posts: 1,494
    edited August 2013

    Ritajean, DesignerMom, Mandy your words are perfect...I had 2 nodes positive so it made the decision to have chemo a little easier...still I had a low oncotype score of 6 so I weighed this carefully and went for 3 med oncologist opinions. I cried my eyes out over having to start chemo, but "having to" was MY decision with my doctor and family, after getting as many facts as I could. Of course, I wish I didn't hear those awful words, you have cancer, but it has changed me for the better I think and opened my heart more...and each day is so special now. I just want as good a chance as possible to spend as much time with loved ones as possible, and to offer any one facing this whatever experience I can to be of help. I think you really have to listen to that wise voice in your heart to guide your decisions. These cancer decisions have all been tough - raincitygirl - I know you will make the right choice for you.

    Huge congratulations, ritajean, on 4 years!!! And Mandy, 2 years!!!

    Next week will likely be awful - ha ha ha, you just have to laugh through the rain - My 53 BD is Monday and I have to go for rads, then Tues I have to get up at 4 am and drive 3 hours for the start of my last chemo cycle, then drive 3 hours back for rads again. It's insane but thankfully my dear, dear, dear DH drives me. They are taking out the methotrexate for my last cycle because it's not compatible with rads. I get rads off for Thanksgiving, and I'll be hangin' in somehow with my crystal light, zofran, exlax, ativan and turkey!! Gobble gobble.

    Carpe Diem: Seize each new day with renewed strength. Believe in yourself. Go forward with courage and faith to face whatever tomorrow may bring.

    Wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

  • raincitygirl
    raincitygirl Member Posts: 700
    edited November 2010

    Seize each day with renewed strength - go forward with courage - I know I need to hear that :)

  • DesignerMom
    DesignerMom Member Posts: 730
    edited November 2010

    Beanius-  I am pre-celebrating with you!  Happy, happy birthday on Monday.  Whoo hoo, last chemo here she comes.  Get out of the way!  You are the queen of seizing the day, my friend.  It is a great pleasure having you as a companion on this crazy BC ride.

  • Beanius
    Beanius Member Posts: 1,494
    edited November 2010

    DesignerMOM - thanks so for the BD wishes, whew, last chemo coming up!!! Seize the Day for sure!!! It is also a pleasure taking this crazy ride with you...there's no place like home - ha ha ha! We'll be through with this and rads pretty quick now...weeeeeeeeeeeeee fun ride!!!

  • ritajean
    ritajean Member Posts: 4,042
    edited August 2013

    So DesignerMom is going to a friend's house for Thanksgiving.  Beanius is already celebrating her day off from Rads on Thursday.  :-)  My son and his family will be arriving from KY on Wednesday night and I am preparing the traditional turkey dinner on Thursday.  They usually stay around a few days after the holiday so get I some extra "Grandma time."   What's everybody else doing for the holiday?

  • raincitygirl
    raincitygirl Member Posts: 700
    edited November 2010

    This will be my first year not cooking or having the holiday with friends and family.  The friends I usually host let me off the hook, but don't cook so they were doing Chinese food.  That didn't work for me.  My son's wife wants to cook her own but apparently not for us as she did not invite us. It was a little awkward for my son we could see, so we let it pass this time. So, we are heading up to the San Juan Islands to a small inn that has a fancy chef doing a communal table meal - I am sure we will have a good time.

  • mandy1313
    mandy1313 Member Posts: 978
    edited August 2013

    Beanius: Happy happy birthday! And manu many happy returns. I also did not do methotrexate for the txs that overlapped with radiation. I think that must be pretty common. 

    Anyway, I probably said this a few pages earlier---hubby and I are dirivng to Cambridge Massachusetts for Thanksgiving since  younger DD can not get home from school (an exam and two papers immiedately after Thanksgiving).  We expect to arrive on Wednesday  in time for a simple dinner with DD(in a restaurant--DD lives in student housing),  and then on Thursday hubby's sister will join the 3 of us for a small family Thanksgiving in a nice restaurant. My older daughter could not come East, but she is going to be with us for Christmas!

    Every year at this time, I like to think about the things that make me Thanksful. And my sisters here on the CMF thread, made it possible for me to go through chemo feeling fully supported. I will always be Thankful for you.

    Wishing you all a wonderful holiday.

    Love and hugs,

    Mandy

  • ritajean
    ritajean Member Posts: 4,042
    edited November 2010

    Aw Mandy, how nice!  Have a wonderful time with your daughter.  Travel safely!

  • ritajean
    ritajean Member Posts: 4,042
    edited November 2010

    Just a quick fly-by before I start making the deviled eggs and salads for tomorrow's dinner.  I want to wish each and every one of you a Happy Thanksgiving!  Enjoy the day in your own special way!  For those of you in treatment at this time or recovering from surgery, remember that next year's celebration will be much better.  In the meantime, eat what you can.........laugh every chance you get........and give thanks for your family, friends, and modern medical knowledge.  Hugs to all of you!