CMF Question
Comments
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Hi girls: just checking before bed as I listen to my daughter's boyfriend djing the college radio show....it's nice, like I am there with her. He's a cutie pie, we love him!
harley; you are cracking me up!! I confess that 1. I don't trust mammos at all, anymore, I had one immediately before the diagnosis this time, 1 CM they can't find it??? and 2. I have the same fear, they say they won't blow out the implants, but yeesh, who wants to test the tires? Uh uh, MRIs for me, forever. but I had kept that fear to myself until I read you had it too and laughed out loud.
Here's a hug for tomorrow ( )
and here's an angel to watch over you ^l^ and take with you and prayers are going up for you tonite to St. Theresa to take care of you and protect you.
Sleep well, dream sweet and all will be OK
love
annie
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Hi ladies,
You are in my thoughts and prayers, even though I have slowed down my postings.
Harley, hang in there. Hopefully you figure this all out soon. Keep positive!
Carol and Annie you two have such terrific spirits and strength! All the best to you as you are in the final stretch of treatments.
Rita, as always good to hear from you!
I will be going away on a special trip with my aunt (2x bc survivor). It will be just the 2 of us. I'm very grateful for this opportunity to share this time with her, she is the most amazing woman. I will light a candle for all of you when we visits the churches in Italy.
Re: thyroid issues...just had some more blood tests done,will see when I get back what is up with this. Thinking positive.
I hope any new ladies reading these posts are doing well and know they are not alone.
God bless everyone,
Ginny
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Ginny, hi, so nice to hear from you, your picture is so pretty...I love to see the faces to match the words, feels like we've met that way!
I have thyroid stuff, Hashimoto's, not a big deal, but hopefully yours is small stuff and fixable too. One little pill, like a vitamin. Good luck! I hope it's nothing for you and will pray for it not to be. Thank you for the prayers, they mean the most. Enjoy your trip, so special to spend time with your aunt. I'm a two timer too, as I think you found with your aunt we get kind of a "oh for crying out loud already" attitude with this...not that we take it lightly, but just that we refuse to let it "get" us...when all is said and done, it cannot steal your joy unless you allow it to..(as Carol says "kick cancer butt!") That girl has such a winners' attitude.
Harley are you around today? Wondering if you had your appt. and how it went and more importantly how you are....please check in when you get a sec and let us all know, everyone cares about you!
Carol, hope you are still doing well after last treatment and feeling good....you are my inspiration on this board, well, you and rita (and Harley, and Cindy, and Marcia and everyone here I forgot to list or couldn't remember names.......can I use chemo brain yet?)
Love to all girls, just "passed" my blood test so good to go for a barbie boob fill and a permanent crown. I am now "uptown Barbie" as opposed to the "fiat" (looks good, in the shop alot) for my husband. That guy cracks me up. More like Dumpster Barbie in the bottom of the toy chest, cuz it's only one boob and the rest is decidedly droopy.
This getting old.......not for sissies, huh.
love
annie
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Hey Annie...we had the same idea. I came looking for Harley, too in case she had news to share.
Ginny...I always get excited when I see a post from you and I'm so glad that you're spending time with your aunt. Sending prayers and good vibes for good blood tests! Please let us know what you find out!
So what fun thing did you do today, Carol? It rained all morning so golf was out of the question here today but it's supposed to be warm and dry this weekend so hopefully we'll get out there. How about you, Susan? Have you been able to get on the Illinois golf courses yet?
Well, I'm off to get in a quick walk!
Catch you all later.
Rita
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Hello gals,
Harley, I think we all have spent some time today sending you all the positive vibes we can ... hoping your going to be able to pop in and lets us know how your doing.
Ginny, Italy ... tooo cool! Sounds like you will have an extra special trip with your Aunt. Thanks so much for the feel good words of encouragement. Its always great to see your pic and that great smiling face.
Annie, you had me howling with your "Barbie" reference. And you must remember that you are an inspiration in your own right, your constant positive spirit is something we can all continue to learn from ... so as my dh says to me often .... "You go girl"!!!
Rita, actually had to work today, I get up at 5:00am for a 6:30 start, only made it to 1:00pm today, just feeling a little woozy at times and darn right tired today. Trying to remember what others have said in regards to listening to your body, and with my WBC so low on Tuesday, I think I should try to take it a little easier.
Sitting right now watching the LPGA, do you watch any golf on the "boob" tube? Can't remember if I posted on this thread about seeing the lady professionals in AZ. It was pretty awesome to stand right behind Annika and Lorena while they warmed up on the driving range.
Well didn't even work 2 full days this week, in for txt 8 of 12 next Tuesday, hoping my counts are up somewhat and my energy level is little better. Amazing how when I was down in the AZ sun, golfing, swimming, and yes I did have a wee bit of wine, I felt like a million bucks!!!! Back to rain here today and my energy level is in the tilly! I think there might be a little mental game going on here ...
Be checking in later, hoping Harley checks in ...
Carol
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Hi everyone,
I saw my surgeon today. He is such a wonderful guy! I love him!
I told him that I wanted to keep seeing him, so maybe he can take out my appendix...I don't need it!
He ordered the MRI for next week... I'll be having it on Thursday. And... I have my colonoscopy,
on Wednesday! How did I let him talk me into that??Thanks for all the warm messages.
I think it was just a back ache... I'm not going to worry about it anymore... You know, something strange, my back doesn't 'seem' to be hurting so much now... go figure.Now next week is going to be filled with dr. appts! I have to go and pre register at the hospital on Monday for the colonoscopy.
Thanks!
Harley
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Yeah Harley, isn't it amazing how when you go to the doc the pain seems to go away, kinda like the car and a mechanic. I'm so glad that atleast for now your achey-achey back is mellowing out.
Looks like you'll be checked out in more than one direction next week! I've never had the pleasant experience of a colonoscopy, something to look forward to in the future. I figure at this point it can't be too bad.
Thanks for popping in, time to kick back and enjoy your weekend, no worries gal!
Carol
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Oh Harley, I am glad to hear you feel better about things and that you came on and relieved all our minds.
And brave enough to do everything all at once, that's really taking the bull by the horns!
A colonoscopy is nada...they knock you out, they wake you up, home you go. 1/2 a day,the prep for it is kind of a drag, lots of trips to the potty, but no big deal.
Just don't do what I did......all I had left to wear after many the potty trip the night before was a ghastly red satin thong...I wish I was joking. To make it more user friendly, I had on a maxi pad, a huge one, jauntily balanced around the thong. I forgot about it, (I was nervous, it was the crack (pun intended) of dawn, they knocked me out and when I woke up I STILL HAD IT ON ..which leads to the conclusion somebody took it off and replaced it, complete with hospital gigundo pad...oh my god, such embarassment....I just had to laugh, but imagine their faces. Oh well, imagine their jobs! They needed the laugh more than me.
I am so glad your back is feeling better and you'll feel lots better after all this is done with and ruled out once and for all!
Good for you!
love
annie
p.s. Carol, good for you to listen to your body and rest a little. You've just gone and gone on like the energizer bunny, so glad you are taking a little bit of time and recharging those batteries! Vacations are always exhausting, but to have a busy, active, fun filled one, airplane trip, come back and have chemo......well, if you weren't tired, it'd be a big surprise!
Bet the vacation was worth it tho!
xoxo
a
love
annie
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....and Harley to add the penultimate "end" to the colonoscopy story...about a month later I get the follow up letter from the dr.
about how it went, blah blah, which begins "Dear Mrs. Ambuhl, so nice see you....."
WHAT!?!?
these guys cannot even begin to be paid enough!
xox
a
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Annie, OMG ... you have me cracking up !!! Thanks for the great Friday nite laugh!!! We're sitting here watching AI from Tuesday, and I'm sitting in my recliner laughing out loud ... the family just thinks I'm nuts!!!
Carol
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Annie,
That is TOO funny! I'll try to remember to save a "good" pair of panties, for the day of my procedure, just in case something similar happens to me!!
I didn't really try to schedule all these tests all at once, that is just the way my surgeon works.
On the embarrassing note that you started, I had been trying to check my moles out, and I got one on my left butt cheek that 'felt' weird, but you know, I can't SEE back there! Also, when I was trying to look at these moles... I saw, in between my butt cheeks, a mark...it looked kind of brownish... but again, I really can't see back there. Tried to get dh to look, but he saw it and said that it looked like a "strawberry" mark... He thinks I'm obessessing about all this health crap... he's right. So... I asked my surgeon to look at them. I said.. this is kind of embarrassing... He said, "The breast and nipple subject didn't embarrass you enough?" We shared another embarrassing moment before my bi-lateral mast., in pre-op, but that is another story... So anyway, he looked at the mark and reported that it is just a bruise.
I am now wondering if the bruise is the reason for the strange pains I have been having...
Thanks for making me laugh! I needed that! It is another rainy day here, and I can't seem to get rid of this headache that started yesterday!!
Hope you are feeling great today!
Harley
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Carol,
Thanks for the positive vibes!Sorry to hear that you are feeling tired. It's good that you are getting some rest. It is important to rest, because chemo takes so much out of you!!
I remember saying once, right after one of my txs, probably the 3rd or the 4th, that I had planned to do so many things, and then... WHAM! The fatigue hit, and I didn't get anything done. I posted on the chemo thread, and someone wrote back: "Girl, you just got chemo... How do you expect to keep up an active lifestyle, while going through tx?"
Take care! Thinking relaxing thoughts...
Harley
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Good afternoon gals!
So glad to hear that you're feeling better, Harley and that your tests are all scheduled. I, too, need a colonoscopybut am hoping to put it off until the Fall as I really want to have a good summer. We'll see how that goes. OMG Annie...I'm still laughing about the thong! Hey, I won't have to worry about that. I never mastered the art of thongs. The few times I tried them in my younger years, I felt like I had on a pair of old undies that had crept up and in on me!
Carol, you've got it right! Listen to your body. It will let you know when you need to unwind a bit and you will do much better with the treatments if you heed those signals. At first, I always hated to give in to the fatigue. Later, I gave in and worked my other activities around my resting periods. How much better that was!
I golfed 18 holes today. The weather was lovely but my golf game wasn't real pretty but it was the first time out since my Florida trip in January and I'm hoping I will improve.
Hey Susan, in my past post I asked about your Illinois games. I'm sorry. I should have said Ohio, shouldn't I? Guess I had a brain fart and forgot where you were from temporarily. Chemo brain...chemo brain! LOL
Well, I need to iron! YUCK! I don't iron too many things anymore but there's a few that I just can't wear without a quick "press over." Don't they call that anal????
Have a great weekend and I'll catch you all later.
Rita
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Carol,
I guess my comments about chemo don't sound right...I just re-read my last post. Others kept saying that they couldn't believe that I was still exercising, and staying active during my chemo. But the last two txs were the worst! I commented that I had too much to do, to be just laying around. Then someone else commented that ..."You just got chemo... you have to rest!"
Hope you are up and running around soon, like the Energizer bunny that you are!
Hugs,
Harley
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Rita,
I am sure that your colonoscopy will turn out just fine. I didn't want to do it, but my surgeon won't leave me alone! He is the one who insisted that I get chemo. I don't know why, but he has such a reassuring manner, I think he could convince me to do just about anything... skydive...well, maybe not skydive!
Glad you were able to go golfing. You IRON?? I HATE ironing!!
Enjoy the rest of the weekend!
Harley
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Hello Everyone,
I've been having computer problems. We were able to get our garden in last weekend and my patiently waiting to see what comes up. This is a first for us, so I'm out there constintly seeing if there are any little sprouts. Hopefully this week. Having beautiful weather, today's high was 85 and sunny. Tonight I will visit my fellow co-workers walking in the Relay for life. I'm just not ready yet to participate. I think my emotions would take over!
Carol- Hope your feeling better from your last txt. #5 for me on Thursday. I went yestarday for my blood draw and the lady sitting next to me was there for her last txt. Oh, how am I looking forward to that!! May 1ST!!
(then rads
). Tomorrow is another busy day of yard work, but enjoying every minute of it.
Hope everyone is well,
Jill
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Jill, tried your home phone today, got kinda a funky recording ... didn't leave a msg, maybe I'll try to catch you tomorrow.
Will post tomorrow, have a house full for my dh's birthday celebration tonight, thank goodness for the great step daughters, they did all the cooking, cake baking, dishes, gotta love them!!!
Carol
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Hi all:
Carol, I am soo glad you have such wonderful daughters to help you..and even more glad you are letting them!! Have a wonderful bd celebration tonite for your hubby. You seem to have a lovely family there. I hope your energy comes back soon (it will I am sure) and you are back to your full power self !
Jill I will congratulate you in advance on your last chemo........YOU ARE GOING TO BE DONE!!! As you watch your new garden grow, you can bloom also...well done!
Again, no worries with rads.......so easy, so quick, you'll blow thru that like nothing.
Harley, you sound so much better today, more confident and happier,,I am so glad. From my own experience, every damn time I had to go see the Onc, the surgeon, have a mammo, for about three years after the fact, I got a huge blood pressure spike to a ridiculous level and was terrified....one cannot go thru all this crapola without a significant knee jerk reaction, it lasts awhile. You never sounded crazy like you keep saying, you sounded like a normal woman who had alot to deal with and dealt well, too.
Re: exercise: they are encouraging me to keep up with it at a low level, but regularly, do you feel it helped with your energy levels?
Hey Carol, I also had a "meltdown" last night; couldn't get to see my daughter in PA and I don't have the stamina to drive myself three hours back and forth w/out an overnight stay...hubby couldn't drive me either. I did indulge in a big weep over what cancer is doing to the family as a whole but talked myself out of it by saying next year will be different. Out of the whole thing, this is what bugs me most, is the "strait jacket" of treatments and working around the fatigue, etc. Grrrrrr. I guess we all have them, huh. This stress has to go somewhere.
Re: colonoscopies: Oh my, sorry about the oversharing everybody, but(t ha ha) I am still laughing at it myself...it was too good to keep to myself. I love a good joke at my own expense.
As I understand it, anybody who gets cancer, anywhere, has to get a colonoscopy also. They will bug you and bug you until you do. Why? Who knows. Just another piece to the big pain in the butt (pun intended) that is cancer.
bottoms up! (oh god, sorry, cant help myself)
love
annie
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Good Morning
Yesterday was a fabo day, had a b-day celebration for my 98 year old grandma at my brothers house and later in the day a celebration for my dh b-day as well.
The dh's daughters 18 and 21 totally took care of everthing for the dh's day. We came home from grandma's "party" to a decorated house, dinner prepared (salmon w/great sauce and all the fixin's), dessert, and they also did all the dishes. It was so great to have them home from college to share, the dh's best gift. We we're missing my son whom was just getting home from a spring break cruise with his dad (poor kid!)
Harley, news to me on the colon... I'll be looking forward to that someday. Who knows maybe the cleaner-outer liquid will be needed at the time and it will be a good thing!!! You seem to be in a better mental state, keep it up gal.
Rita, yeah on the being able to get 18 holes in. I don't know about you but golfing in a dryer climate sure helps the game, if we we're to golf today the ball would probably plug on most shots. I kinda like the 20 yard roll or more! I will try to include a pic we took at the LPGA event we were at in the desert, its of a gal who we watched have Annika autograph her head ...
It was pretty neat to see the support she was given by the pro who was preparing to play that days round.
I'll also share a pic of the dh and I from a golf course, oh I was so in my element!!!
Jill, speaking of the sun, hoping that your out in the yard as I type. I'm very jealous of your weather (could have you guess that?)
I'm with you on the emotional rollercoaster of any walk, I had problems enough walking in the past on my mom's behalf, I think at this point its better to just kinda let it out, I try so hard to fight those feelings that I think it wears me out more than actually revealing them. Even got teary at work talking with "the guys" on Friday. Their pretty up to snuff in most respects, but I was pretty surprised that they thought I was done with chemo txts, I went on to explain that I was only half way through and then would be having radiation, at that point they we're pretty sympathetic and consoling which put me over the edge. Oh well, we're only human!
Two more to go gal, and I'll be right behind you on the rads front about 4 weeks later.
Annie, okay I had to slip another melt down story in there as well, I think in the grand scheme of things, we're being pretty darn strong women. We can only think that this will not last forever, and at some point we'll be getting on with our lives in a "normal" (whatever that is) way. The bonds of others in our like situation will never go away, and for that I am very thankful.
Kicking back today, hoping to make more or less a full week of work, I have my next txt at 3:00 tuesday.
Take care my friends,
Carol
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Hello Everyone, I'm happy to see all are hanging in there and getting through this slow but sure.
Hi Rita- yes- golf in Ohio. Hopefully the ground will dry out soon and the course will open. All that snow and rain had a lasting effect but I know it won't be long before I will be out there all the time. I love to play here so much more then in Florida because of the grass. It is so hard to chip and putt in Florida.
Anniebelle, Yes, excersize helped me so much. I continued to run throughout chemo and rads and it was the one thing that made me feel normal. I missed one day of running when I just couldn't do it and I remember my husband came home and I was still crying because I didn't have the energy to run that day! It keeps your red blood cell count up and mentally helps a lot. And meltdowns? I was the queen of meltdowns!
I can't stress enough how wonderful you all will feel when you leave that chemo room after your last treatment. Keep that thought in your mind. It's like a ton is lifted off your shoulders.
I think of all of you often- the ones going through treatment now and the ones that finished. Love to all. Susan
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Dear Sisters xxx
HELP ...
Remember when I had chemo two times ago and I ended up in hospital...well it is day 19 since I had chemo...and I am sooooo tired like my counts are really low...got worse 2 days ago...and now I have that extremely sore bleeding tongue and nose.
Now I wont phone the hospital as I only have a day before I go...BUT....why am I having all the big side effects so long since my last tx instead of ten days after..did any of you happen on this...it is really worrying me!!!
What has happened for such a delayed reaction...and this is the second time my counts feel really low since the tx ...as if they have dipped again....
I am very ill xxx
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Annie,
Thanks! I always feel better when I see my surgeon...he has such a calm manner that even when we were discussing chemo, he helped me so I didn't feel as scared.
Also, it seems that my back/legs aren't hurting now, it's feeling consistently better, so I keep thinking that if it is feeling better (and I haven't even been taking Tylenol since Thursday), so I think that means that it definitely isn't... 'c...' I can't even think it...let alone type it! I don't think it would get better...
I don't know if I mentioned it before, but when we were discussing the surgery, after my dx., my surgeon mentioned that they would put my nipple on my leg....EEWW!! The day of my mast., I asked to talk to my surgeon. I remember telling them that I didn't need the ps for this 'nipple transfer' surgery, because we had decided that I was going to use my dh's nipple! Well, everyone just roared with laughter! I remember hearing the laughter, and then...BAM! I was asleep! So now, whenever I tell my surgeon that I'm embarrassed... he will ask if I wasn't embarrassed enough about the nipple... it is TOO funny!
Yes, I found that exercise kept my se's at bay during chemo. I even ran sometimes. But, after my first tx, I didn't get Neulasta, so I was feeling pretty lousy by the 10th day, when I had my bloodwork done. My wbc was LOW! So they gave me Neupogen shots, but I had to give myself 3, the nurse gave me the 1st one, every day I got one for 4 days! They were HORRIBLE! I had the WORST lower back pain!!
I guess after running such a high WBC the first time, I tried to be more careful, and stopped running as much. I usually walked. But, even though I walked every day after my bi-lateral mast., after chemo, I wasn't walking EVERY day... I guess the fatigue set in after the 3rd tx, and I wasnt' going out walking as much. I wanted to keep walking at least, and doing it every day.I am not sure if this makes any sense... sorry if I rambled on...
Thanks, everyone!
Harley
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sueps,
{HUGS}
I hope you are feeling better soon! Maybe you should try to call your dr... the low wbc is very dangerous! Make sure you take your temperature, and if it is elevated, you may want to go to the ER, just to be safe.
Thinking of you, and sending positive thoughts your way!
Harley
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Carol,
Yes, having had bc puts us at higher risk for getting colon cancer!
So I'll be ... ahem... preparing on Tuesday, and having the scope done on Wed. Funny, my SIL is getting hers on Tues.! She is 53, and is high risk due to a family hx of colon cancer, so she should have gone earlier...
The bday party sounds just marvelous! 98, wow! That really IS something to celebrate!
Good Luck on Tuesday, with your tx!! I'll be thinking of you, while I'm here, not eating, and ... ahem...preparing! YICK!! DOUBLE YICK!! I have to say that I guess I'd still rather be doing this than what you're doing!
Hang in there, you'll be done soon!!Harley
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Hi ladies:
Carol, what wonderful photos!! You look great and your dh is a doll too!. Very cute couple indeed. Don't you love the look on his face and the cherishing way he has his arm around you? Awwwww.....
He knows he is a lucky man and that is a wondrous thing in a husband.
And I loved what your daughters did for the party...they sound lke a couple of sweetie pies. 98 for your grandma! So awesome! Things to look forward to......
I too, come undone with sympathy, if someone is kind or looks at me sadly, I begin to cry. And I don't know how you feel about it, but with this process, I felt it's so important to keep on keepin' on, keep a routine, stay normal, try to keep active...it helps the mental state good for me I think. But I know, a meltdown is normal, it did help. And sometimes it's the littlest things, like not being able to see my kid and drive 6 hours at one time, like it's no big deal, which is what I generally did.............this is what I hate about cancer. I hate losing control. And it appears to be the lesson I must learn, huh. (sigh) Ah well, Dumpster Barbie in the dumps today. Got on my exercise bike and dropped off it almost again, but my blood count was good, so go figure. Somebody posted on here that the energy during chemo is like a bank, and if you take too much out without pacing yourself, it's like not having funds to cover a check.
Made alot of sense, actually. So what did I do? Went grocery shopping, did laundry, repotted plants, fixed my hair, did pt exercises, ran around the house doing chores, then hopped on the bike after staying up til 3 am crying in my meltdown. Geez, wonder why I fell off it. Bounced that check I guess.
On the plus side, having been there before...I can absolutely assure you all that life does in fact "return to normal"....if you wait long enough, like four years or so, it's not even the knee jerk reaction. Still the anxiety around the mammogram time (gone for some of us, but MRI still lurks) but the ever constant worry and fear does leave.
As for it ever coming back....shoot, a building could fall on top of any one of us, a car crash, a bullet.........and all the clear mammos in the world wouldn't help, so you might as well dance.
Jill, thinking of you on tuesday and sending good vibes.......how good will it feel to walk out of there at the last one!!
Harley, that story is priceless...I laughed so hard! You crack me up, and your sense of humor is back! You must be feeling better. And I am so glad your back feels better. I had to get neupogen shots too, the third one was very achey, but then I was fine after that. Good insurance tho. that backache tho, whew!! My onc had warned me about it, and I had two extra strength tylenol waiting for it, so I was ready. Never got it again and I had to get 7 of them.
... good luck on Wed. (Tues night is when you really need the luck, just stay home and steer clear of thongs) but it will all go well I am sure. They do it as a precaution after bc to be sure. the stuff they give you to drink tastes like you know what so drink it ice cold, much better that way and hold your nose so you don't taste it.
Smile for the camera!
love
annie
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p.s.:
Sue, you must call your dr.!! I know you don't want to, but you don't want any complications at this stage of the game.
Be safe!
love
annie
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oops: Carol, good luck on tuesday too!!
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Hey...this seems to be the week for treatments, procedures, and dr. appts. I have my check-up with the onc on Thursday. Everyone be sure to check in when you're done so we know how you're doing!
Jill and Carol...wow! You're getting there! It won't be long now and you'll be moving on!
Good luck to all of you this week. Harley, you get big points from me. You're doing what I'm putting off! LOL
The sun is out and I have lots to do before I head for the golf course without feeling guilty so I'd better get a move on.
Hope it's as nice where you are as it is in Illinois this morning!
Have a good day!
Rita
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Rita,
I am NOT brave! I have just been worn down by my surgeon... He has a way about him, he has a calm manner, and he just won't give up til he gets me to agree to whatever it is he wants me to do!
Good Luck at your onc appt. on Thurs.! Have fun golfing!! It is sunny here, but still kinda cool...
Harley
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Carol,
Oh, I forgot in my last post to you...
Those photos are just fantastic! You look GREAT, girl! and you can tell that your dh loves you very much!
Good Luck on Tuesday!
Harley
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