Illinois ladies facing bc

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  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 39,778
    edited December 2015

    December 25
    image
    What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the
    past, courage for the present, hope for the
    future. It is a fervent wish that every cup
    may overflow with blessings rich and eternal,
    and that every path may lead to peace.
    image
    Agnes M. Pahro

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 39,778
    edited December 2015

    Doxie, I searched images for OLD time cards on Google. Not sure if it is made up as old or if it really is a picture of someone's old card. I did view several ( one of the reasons I chose this one ) that actually had signatures in the inside.

    We are having a sunny brown Christmas this morning but as is the case every day of my life, after my cancer dx., I am just grateful to be alive and able to continue to experience the world and the holidays and to have the opportunity to continue to love and care about the world and the people in it. I don't do anything very big, but it is satisfying and meaningful to me to be able to do it. It is I think each person doing that little something that makes love grow and brings light and makes the Earth hum a lilting little tune. I hope one day we ALL hear the music of a world we all helped.

    Enjoy today.

    Blessings

    Jackie

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 39,778
    edited December 2015

    Adversity, if for no other reason, is of benefit, since it is sure
    to bring a season of sober reflection. People see clearer
    at such times. Storms purify the atmosphere.

    Henry Ward Beecher

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 39,778
    edited December 2015

    Rain for us started sometime shortly after we got up this a.m. Sure glad yesterday was sunny and mild. W have several days of this --- possibly into Monday even and of course, flash floods to be mindful about. This time of year we almost always have some snow. The warm temps. are a bit off-putting. Here's hoping that we all stay safe and sound.

    As a head's up --- unless plans might undergo a last minute change, tomorrow I'll go stay at work for a couple of days so won't be on here with the quotes, but rest assured you will be in my thoughts and I will be anxious to get back and resume my daily very deep cup of joy and satisfaction with the gift of a nice quote.

    Stay safe.

    Blessings

    Jackie

  • doxie
    doxie Member Posts: 700
    edited December 2015

    Jackie,

    We'll watch for your quotes when you get back.

  • Redheaded1
    Redheaded1 Member Posts: 1,455
    edited December 2015

    Wind and rain here in McLean County----lots of thunder and lightening overnight. They say it is here to stay for a couple more days and with temps dropping late tonight, could be some wintery mix before morning.... But then, Temps in the 40's on Monday, so should melt and go back to rain...... I don't like brown Chrismases...

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 39,778
    edited December 2015

    Life is short.Each year passes more quickly than the previous one.It's easy to deny yourself many of life's simple pleasures because you want to be practical.Forget about practical and decide instead to become a joy collector.Always be on the lookout for gifts without ribbons.God is strewing them across your path right now.His gifts come tagged with a note:"Life can be wonderful.Do your best not to miss it!"Enjoy what it is before it isn't anymore. . . . Dare to slip on a pair of bunny slippers once in a while!Surprise yourself!Enjoy the little things because one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things! -Barbara Johnson

  • chisandy
    chisandy Member Posts: 11,408
    edited December 2015

    Belated welcome, Amy & Pam. I’m up on the far N. Side of the city, just s. of the Loyola campus & Rogers (No) Park. Coincidentally, I’ve performed both in Downers Grove (Two Way Street Coffeehouse) and Lombard (Maple St. Chapel Concert Series)--just a stone’s throw from Glen Ellyn, where I’ve done several live in-studio performances for Lilli Kuzma on her Tues. evening Folk Show on WDCB 90.9 (on the College of DuPage campus).

    Lago, I had been certain you chose your user name because of proximity to Lake Michigan!

    Pam, as far as I’m concerned, Kenosha is a Chicago suburb. (Plenty of us on the N. Side and N. Shore go up to Pleasant Prairie to shop at the outlets and to the Brat Shop and Mars Cheese Castle in Kenosha). If the same Metra commuter rail line has stations in Ravenswood, Rogers Park and Kenosha, then by virtue of its being a suburb of Chicago, Kenosha is practically in IL.

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 39,778
    edited December 2015

    Ring out the old, ring in the new,
    Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
    The year is going, let him go;
    Ring out the false, ring in the true.

    - Alfred Lord Tennyson -

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 39,778
    edited December 2015

    image


    Blessings

    Jackie

  • Gemma12
    Gemma12 Member Posts: 100
    edited January 2016

    January is here and my surgery is this Tuesday. The closer the date gets, the more anxious I am feeling. I'm afraid of going under for surgery, even though I've had general anesthesia before. I haven't had it since I've had kids (my kids are 12 & 13). It's really bothering me to know, for the first time since becoming a Mom, that I won't be conscious. I have an irrational, but horrible fear of never waking up. :( I'm also afraid of the pathology report. On one hand, I'm dying to know my status, but on the other I'm petrified of bad news. I'm generally an optimistic person, I can't imagine how hard this would be if I was a "glass 1/2 empty" type. I'm trying to focus on the fact that after Tuesday, that damn tumor will be out of my body.

    My son has a basketball tournament for the next 3 days. I'm hoping it occupies my mind. At least I'll be out in public so I'll be less apt to burst into tears (at least I hope so ;) I got my period this morning... extra emotion was not really what I needed today!

    Here's to a healthy and happy 2016 for all of us!

    Amy

  • brithael
    brithael Member Posts: 150
    edited January 2016

    Hang in there Gemma12, you don't have what kind of surgery on your signature, but if it's a lumpectomy, I promise you that it is easy to recover from. The node dissection is the worst, and it's not that bad. I'm a control freak, so I know what you mean about being unconcious.

  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 11,653
    edited January 2016

    Gemma12 Initially surgery scared me too. I have never had children and the only surgery I had was when I was a kid (tonsils, teeth extractions). My fear was pain. But when the day came I was so calm. Why? because I knew that when I woke up I would be cancer free. My BS pretty much assumed that there would be cancer in my nodes but there was not. My tumor was a little smaller than they thought too. So you can wake up to better news with the path report too. I woke up feeling like me and I was really happy about that.

    I had a BMX with 10 nodes removed on one side 4 on the other. I found out I have a high tolerance to pain. They took the pain pump away because I wasn't using it. Never even took a tylenol. I was sore but not in pain. Every day after surgery I felt better.

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 39,778
    edited January 2016

    This bright new year is given me
    To live each day with zest
    To daily grow and try to be
    My highest and my best.
    - William Arthur Ward

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 39,778
    edited January 2016

    Gemma, I think many can attest to feeling you are not in charge when someone "borrows" your ability to be conscious and in charge. I too have a very slight touch of the 'will' I wake up again panic, but thankfully then the induced sleep comes. This is a challenge that will come and then go and you hopefully will find that your STRENGTH was THERE all along.

    As I don't write as much here anymore -- just put in a quote, hang in there. Like Lago, I didn't need any pain meds afterwards though I got the prescription they gave me filled anyway. You have more company than you know and everyone will think you through your surgery Tuesday. We are with you.

    Blessings,

    Jackie

  • Gemma12
    Gemma12 Member Posts: 100
    edited January 2016

    Britheal - it is a lx w/SNB. It's two areas so I'll have a total of 3 incisions. I'm okay with the pain, knowing they'll give me drugs :) It's the general anesthesia that is freaking me out (and wouldn't want any other kind for this surgery-- like I said, i know it's irrational). Thanks for the reply.

    Lago and Jackie, thanks for the encouragement and for listening. I'm feeling better after a nap.

    Amy

  • doxie
    doxie Member Posts: 700
    edited January 2016

    I am such a wimp with surgery that they could put me under the moment I walk into the waiting room. Basically, I just want it over.

    Having had a C-section years ago, BC and SNL surgery is a much easier surgery to recover from. I'd say the bigger difference was the time I was under. A C-section is relatively fast, while the BC surgery is longer so they can test the sentinel nodes for cancer. Or maybe it was just that I was younger then?Loopy

  • TwoHobbies
    TwoHobbies Member Posts: 1,532
    edited January 2016

    Gemma you will get an opportunity to talk to the anesthesiologist before your surgery. Since you've had it before I don't think there's any chance you won't wake up. If you've had problems with anesthesia mention to him or her and they will adjust. For instance I get a lot of nausea and vomiting so after I mentioned that, they were able to fix that. And if you're freaking out on surgery day tell them that too and they'll help with that I bet. I'm sure that everything will go smoothly.

  • chisandy
    chisandy Member Posts: 11,408
    edited January 2016

    Gemma, I’ve had general anesthesia and twilight sleep--for both, it seemed that I barely felt myself losing consciousness before waking up in the recovery room. It feels that quick. The anesthesiologist will micromanage your vitals so that you WILL wake up. I too had a C-section, but I was fully awake, with both an epidural and a local. The epidural wore off while they were removing the placenta, and I felt every stitch. Were it not for the fact that an epidural is safer for the baby, I’d have preferred to have been knocked out!

  • Brimton
    Brimton Member Posts: 4
    edited January 2016
    Hi all you Illinois Ladies.
    I live is East Peoria mid state by the IL river. Gemma I agree with all that has been said. I did take Ativan prior to surgery which helped calm me down. I don't remember going out. The CRNA will be with you the whole time supervised by a physician. They told me for a lumpectomy it is twilight sleep. I have a dramine patch on behind my ear for nausea plus other meds. I puke at the drop of a hat. I too Agee that I now tell myself I am cancer free!
  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 39,778
    edited January 2016

    Remember how far you've come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be. –
    Rick Warren

  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 11,653
    edited January 2016

    Hi Brimton

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 39,778
    edited January 2016

    Hi Brimton,

    Welcome to the Illinois Ladies. I hope you had a great X-mas and that the New Year is starting out and will stay quite wonderful. I have been here a long time and only post on a few entries, but do leave a quote everything day that I can, which is usually 99 & 9/10th's of the time. Sharing here helps everyone in some way that comes here. I hope we see more of you.

    Blessings

    Jackie

  • termite
    termite Member Posts: 238
    edited January 2016

    I haven't been on this post lately but I do read it often. I am from the Oswego, IL area. I have just hit my 5 years out from dx. Went off the femara and am a little nervous about that. The dr. found a small nodule on my upper right lung when I had a bronchial infection in October. The pulmonary dr. said he does not think it is anything but we will do another ct scan in April to be sure.

    We had most of our family at my sons house for Christmas. It was very nice but just not the same as having it in our house as we have always done. But since we sold our house the beginning of Dec. that was not possible. Now we are waiting to move to FL. in about 5 months. Now I am second guessing that idea also. I will miss the boys and their families.

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 39,778
    edited January 2016

    Hooray for your five yrs. Always a good milestone. I hope you have all the rest of the yrs. to be just like this one NED, termite. I think a lot of people feel 'jumpy' for a while after leaving behind whatever 5 yr. drug they have used. Doing something daily seems to bring a feeling of keeping the bases covered and that you have some 'protection', and stopping the protection makes you feel like you forgot your underwear while having a see-thru blouse on --- but it gets better as you move along in time.

    Sounds like you do have a little bit of time to "think" about things in case you do decide to definitely alter your moving plans. Hoping you gentle into that answer soon so you can maybe easily re-arrange life.

    Jackie

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 39,778
    edited January 2016

    Life is just a chance to grow a soul.
    Powel Davies

    Just a bit of a note on this. Have felt inside for a long, long time that we ARE here to grow our soul. Everyone may do it a little different, but I do think we are ALL doing it. Not sure everyone calls it that, or doesn't have a lot of their own nuances. I bring it up only because on these occasions, it is a pleasure to have someone I don't know seem to find the exact feeling that resonates with me. Here's to lots and lots of beautiful souls in the world.

    Jackie

  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 11,653
    edited January 2016

    Congrats Termite! you are now part of the 5 year club!

  • vanmama
    vanmama Member Posts: 74
    edited January 2016

    Welcome Brimton! I'm not all that far from you...about a half hour.

    I don't post too much but I do read faithfully. Coming to BCO from diagnosis Oct '14 to the present is what kept me going. However, my story has changed a whole bunch and BC is no longer the center of my world!

    I finished chemo on July 30th. I was starting to feel better, had more energy, and was getting settled into the home we moved to in June. Life was going well until it all came crashing down in September with the death of my husband, due to a massive heart attack!!! My life will never be the same... I am so glad to see 2015 go. It was very cruel to me.

    2016 is a new year, a clean slate, and I am determined to keep it positive! To that end, I am moving yet again, just 5 miles away to where I grew up! I signed papers today to get the process going for buying a house, all on my own, that I think will be perfect! It's such a major step for me!

    In the almost 38 years we were married, we lived in two houses on the same street, and had only lived in our third house less than three months!

    See why BC has taken a back seat? I do have regular appts with all my different physicians, but aside from Femara for the next 5 yrs, I am having no other treatment for cancer at this time.

    Thanks to all who were so supportive.

    Back to work tomorrow!

    Laura




  • brithael
    brithael Member Posts: 150
    edited January 2016

    Vanmama - Wow, what a year you have had! I can only imagine what you've been through. I hope that your new home will give you a wonderful new beginning of your life.

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 39,778
    edited January 2016

    We plant seeds that will flower as results in our lives, so best to remove the weeds of anger, avarice, envy, and doubt, that peace and abundance may manifest for all.

    Dorothy Day